Hello again everyone and welcome to chapter 4 the scene in the movie where
Mulan's secret is almost revealed by just taking a bath. Personally I think
it is the funniest scene in the movie. So I hope you enjoy reading it.
Also, sorry for the last chapter. It was late at night when I finished it
and so one of these days I will fix it because truthfully it looks like
crap and I bet you all were thinking of the same thing while reading it so
be patient and the new chapter 3 will be up before or after I am done with
this story. Now enough with my rambling, on with the story.
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One night I had decided to stay in the tent while Mulan went out to dinner. I felt that she needed time to be alone and with the soldiers since she mostly talked to me when she ate and sooner or later someone would get suspicious.
I was busy writing something in my diary when I heard Khan whinny happily. I knew Mulan was coming back so I decided to come out and greet her. "So how was my baby's meal?" I asked her. "It was good, I had an interesting conversation with that soldier named Gao Bing," said Mulan. "What was it?" I asked. "It was about how he liked to catch lizards when he was young and would scare his sister half to death," she said as she put a towel in a sack that hung at Khans side. "What did you tell him?" I asked. "Oh I just told him that he's lucky that his sister never got back at him," she said. "And what did he say after that?" I asked. "He said she did by telling his girlfriend about his potty training incident which he did not get into," said Mulan who had now mounted Khan.
I chuckled a little and then looked up at her. "And where are you going?" I asked. "To take a bath," she said simply. "Oh to take a bath, well have fun," I said until I realized that that was a problem and I ran to catch up to her, Cri Kee followed. I then jumped on Khan and tried to talk her out of it but she ignored me. So I sat there with Cri Kee trying to figure out a way to talk her out of it. Why couldn't she take a sponge bath like she occasionally did?
A few minutes later we reached the lake and she went behind some reeds to take off her clothes. I had to say something but I was having trouble. "Hey this is not a good idea," I finally said. "What if somebody sees you?" I asked her. She did not really answer my question and just looked at me a little angry. "Just because I look like a man does not mean I have to smell like one," she said. There goes her girl instincts again, man such a clean gender compared to us.
"So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks, picky, picky, picky," I said to her. I then covered my eyes with my ears so she would not feel embarrassed. "I kinda like that corn chip smell though," I said silently. I did not even hear her walk pass me until I felt the cold spray of water hit me. I took a peek out of one of my eyes and I saw her come up looking refreshed. That seemed like enough time to be in the water.
I grabbed her towel and jumped over to a nearby rock still covering my eyes. "Okay all right, that's enough, now get out there before you get all pruney and stuff," I said to her. But she wanted to stay in for a while longer. "Mushu, if you're so worried, go stand watch," she said. "Yeah, yeah," I said as I walked away and imitated her. "Stand watch Mushu while I blow our secret with my stupid girly habits," I said. I even wriggled my hips like a girl to show the full effect of why this was a problem to me.
"Humph, hygiene," I said when I stood next to Cri Kee. I was about to tell him about how women were so picky when he chirped a warning. I opened my eyes just in time to see Chien Po, Yao, and Ling running towards the lake with nothing but their birthday suits on. One of them dropped their underwear on me before I could even say any thing, and man did that thing smell.
I quickly pulled it off my face and watched them all jump in. "We're doomed, and there are a couple of things I know they are bound to notice," I told Cri Kee as I ran toward the water. I had to make sure Mulan's secret was not discovered or we would be in so much trouble.
I jumped into the water and dived down deep so I could not be seen. When I was close enough to them, I noticed that Chien Po was the closest to Mulan and thought that I should scare him. I took my claws and tried to scratch his butt but he did not even feel it probably because of all that fat and I did not want to even try to bite it, which would be gross and not very fun.
Suddenly the water stirred a little and I noticed that Ling was now going after Mulan. I thought about getting a fish to bite him since any body could mistake his unmentionables for a worm but that would be wrong and not a nice way to neuter. I decided to do the only thing I knew would work, bite him in the butt. I did it just in time too, just when he was about to get Mulan closer to him, I bit down hard. He jumped and I came up sputtering and trying to spit out the horrible flavor that had collected itself onto his butt.
"Snake!!!" he screamed causing the other two to jump onto a nearby rock for safety. I swam back with Mulan to the shore where I grabbed Khan's tail just so I could spend a few more moments trying to get the nasty flavor out.
Mulan then covered herself with a towel and sighed with relief while I got my toothbrush and toothpaste. "Boy that was close," she said. I began to brush my teeth. "No that was bad, you owe me big," I said to her and spat out the toothpaste only to add even more of it in my mouth. Yes that was the grossest thing I have ever tasted in my life and I hope to never do it again.
"I never want to see another naked man again," she said. Suddenly the entire camp came running toward the water naked and Mulan stood there wide eyed and lost for words. "Don't look at me I ain't bitin' no more butts," I said and followed Mulan back to her tent. If she ever did that again, I would let the fishes handle the situation.
"I'm sorry about that," said Mulan while we were walking. I had just put a mint in my mouth and spat it out so I could talk. "You better be, I just used up all my toothpaste because of that incident," I said. "Did it really taste that bad?" asked Mulan. "No it tasted like lilacs; yes it tasted bad, have you ever tried old hardboiled eggs?" I asked her. "Yeah," said Mulan. "It tasted something like that, only a little more rancid," I told her. Mulan looked at me disgusted. "Okay next time I want to take a bath I will use the sponge again," she said. "That's a good girl," I told her.
We then reached the camp where Mulan could hear Chi Fu and Shang talking about fighting. Mulan and I decided to stand there and listen. Chi Fu was totally against the idea because he thought "those boys" were no more fit to be soldiers than Shang was fit to be captain. I did not like that one bit, I had worked too hard to get Mulan into the army and now this piece of cow poop was messing with my plan, I had to do something. But I would wait until Chi Fu was not in his tent.
Shang then came out in a huff and Mulan stood there trying to get his attention. "Hey, I'll hold him and you punch," she said. Shang ignored her. "Or not," she said. She then decided to cheer him up. "For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain," she said. Shang stopped for a moment looking like he was about to say something but continued to walk off. Mulan just stood there and smiled.
"I saw that," I said to her. "What?" said Mulan who acted like she did nothing. "You like him, don't you?" I asked in a teasing manner. "No I..." she said but I stopped her from continuing. "Yeah right, yeah sure, go to your tent!" I said sounding like her father. Mulan just smiled and walked off, Cri Kee was about to follow but I stopped him. "I think it's time we took this war into our own hands," I said to him evilly and ran over to the tent hoping that Chi Fu would leave for a few minutes so I could set up my plan.
I was worried that he would be there all night when he suddenly jumped out with a towel around him. He was going to take a bath; it must have been bath night. I slithered on in and was about to say something to Cri Kee when I noticed that he was missing. He was still outside, I guess he wanted to keep watch but that was not what I wanted him to do. I then grabbed his antenna and pulled him in.
"It's time for you to do some of my dirty work," I said to him. "What is it?" he chirped. "I want you to write a letter from the general that states that they need help up at the pass, you think you can handle that?" I asked him. "Yes sir," he said. I nodded approvingly and jumped onto his desk where I found his paper and ink. "Get going," I told Cri Kee. Cri Kee began to write the letter with his little feet while I sat nearby staring at a painting of Chi Fu and the Emperor. The Emperor looked a little annoyed by Chi Fu in the picture but who wouldn't, he wants everything perfect.
Cri Kee then chirped that he was done and I ran over to read the letter. "Okay let me see what you got," I said and began to read it out loud. "From General Lee, dear son, we're waiting for the Huns at the pass and it would me a lot if you'd come and back us up," I said. Man that letter was pathetic and too polite like Cri Kee, I decided to be sarcastic at him so he could get my drift. "That's great except you forgot, and since we are out of potpourri perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing up some," I said to him. He even nodded at that statement. "Hello!" I yelled in his face. "This is the army, make it sound more urgent please, you know what I'm talking about?" I asked him as I threw the letter away. Cri Kee then began to write a new one and I liked how that one was going and when I felt that everything was alright, I grabbed it and ran out of the tent.
I now needed a disguise which was to dress as a soldier I did not have a problem trying to find that but I needed some form of transportation and Khan would be perfect. I found him drinking some water at a trough and jumped on his back. "Khan-y baby," I said. Khan turned and looked at me. "Hey we need a ride," I said to him. He gave me a very simple answer. He just spat water at me causing me to fall off his back and onto the hard earth. I got up and knew that I had to find someone else. I thought about Shang or Chi Fu's horses but they did not know me and I did not want to risk it.
I thought about this problem for a long time when I heard some leaves shake in a nearby patch of bamboo. Cri Kee and I ran over to see what it was and found a panda happily munching away at the stuff. "Hey there Teddy," I said to him politely. "My names Xsing Xsing," he growled. "Oh Xsing Xsing then, can you help us?" I asked him. He munched on a piece of bamboo which seemed like ages before he finally answered. "Depends, what do you want?" he asked. "Well I'm trying to get this kid I'm guarding to fight in the army but Chi Fu will not let the captain because he thinks that they are not ready yet, so I need to pretend that I am one of the general's men and I need to ride on someone," I said to him.
Xsing Xsing munched on his piece of bamboo for a few minutes again and I was getting agitated. "Do you want me to singe your butt?" I asked him. "I'm thinking," was his simple answer. "Well think harder, no wonder you guys are becoming extinct," I said to him. He stared at me for a moment like I had insulted him and then spoke up. "What's in it for me then?" he asked. "Umm..." I thought for a moment, how in the world do you make a panda happy? "How about this, when you die, say of old age, you can become a guardian of the Fa family, it's really fun," I said to him. He munched a few seconds and then spoke up again. "That sounds nice, what do guardians do all day?" he asked. "Well stand still as stone, and listen to the first ancestor when spoken too, that sounds fun to you right, since all you do is sit around and chew" I told him. "I like that, I think you have a deal," he said. "Alright, now stay there while I go get what I need," I told him. He just nodded and continued to chew on the bamboo.
I returned with some armor and hay which I stuffed into the armor and put on Xsing Xsing's back. I then told Cri Kee to go to the head and only show his stomach and antennae. I stayed in the back of the armor so I could move the arms. Once we were all situated we headed to the lake where Chi Fu was just coming out.
Chi Fu was quite mad at the fact that the soldiers had ruined his slippers and when Xsing Xsing grabbed his last slipper and ate it, Chi Fu screamed like a girl, something he said he could not do.
"Urgent news from the general," I said as the puppet held the note in his hand. Chi Fu just stared at Xsing Xsing dumbfounded. "What's the matter, you've never seen a black and white before?" I asked him as I shook the notice so he could take it. "Who are you?" he asked suspiciously. I never had time to think up a name so I decided to talk him angrily which I have so often wanted to do. "Excuse me, I believe the question is who are you, we're in a war man, there's not time for stupid questions. I should have your hat for that, snatch it right off your head, but I'm feeling gracious today so carry on before I report to you," I said as Xsing Xsing then began to climb up a tree almost causing the armor to fall down. I grabbed it just in time.
We then watched from the tree as Chi Fu began to read the message looking quite surprised. He turned around to talk to me but found that I was gone. "Alright I think he bought it," I said happily. "That slipper was good, I wonder if they have any more," said Xsing Xsing licking his lips. "Actually those are high in fiber and I don't think the soldiers would appreciate having cold feet at night," I told him. "Oh pooey, but I will still take you up on that guardian offer, but right now I need more bamboo, so I will see you later," said Xsing Xsing and climbed down the tree and back into the bamboo thicket.
Cri Kee and I then followed Chi Fu to Shang's tent where Chi Fu told Shang that they were needed at the front. I stared at Cri Kee and smiled from ear to ear. The plan worked. Mulan was finally going to fight. "Pack your bags Cri Kee, we're moving out," I told the lucky bug. Cri Kee hi fived me and we ran back to Mulan's tent to tell her the good news.
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Yay I'm done with that chapter. It took me a week and a half to write it but mostly because I had a few papers to write for some of my classes and one of them I found out is not due until March 3, oh well it's nice to start something early sometimes. I hope that that is the correct way to spell Xsing Xsing; I remember that the Washington D.C. Zoo had a panda with that name but it was a long time ago when I read it. That is all I have to say for now, please review and if you do I will read your story and review it. Have a nice day.
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One night I had decided to stay in the tent while Mulan went out to dinner. I felt that she needed time to be alone and with the soldiers since she mostly talked to me when she ate and sooner or later someone would get suspicious.
I was busy writing something in my diary when I heard Khan whinny happily. I knew Mulan was coming back so I decided to come out and greet her. "So how was my baby's meal?" I asked her. "It was good, I had an interesting conversation with that soldier named Gao Bing," said Mulan. "What was it?" I asked. "It was about how he liked to catch lizards when he was young and would scare his sister half to death," she said as she put a towel in a sack that hung at Khans side. "What did you tell him?" I asked. "Oh I just told him that he's lucky that his sister never got back at him," she said. "And what did he say after that?" I asked. "He said she did by telling his girlfriend about his potty training incident which he did not get into," said Mulan who had now mounted Khan.
I chuckled a little and then looked up at her. "And where are you going?" I asked. "To take a bath," she said simply. "Oh to take a bath, well have fun," I said until I realized that that was a problem and I ran to catch up to her, Cri Kee followed. I then jumped on Khan and tried to talk her out of it but she ignored me. So I sat there with Cri Kee trying to figure out a way to talk her out of it. Why couldn't she take a sponge bath like she occasionally did?
A few minutes later we reached the lake and she went behind some reeds to take off her clothes. I had to say something but I was having trouble. "Hey this is not a good idea," I finally said. "What if somebody sees you?" I asked her. She did not really answer my question and just looked at me a little angry. "Just because I look like a man does not mean I have to smell like one," she said. There goes her girl instincts again, man such a clean gender compared to us.
"So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks, picky, picky, picky," I said to her. I then covered my eyes with my ears so she would not feel embarrassed. "I kinda like that corn chip smell though," I said silently. I did not even hear her walk pass me until I felt the cold spray of water hit me. I took a peek out of one of my eyes and I saw her come up looking refreshed. That seemed like enough time to be in the water.
I grabbed her towel and jumped over to a nearby rock still covering my eyes. "Okay all right, that's enough, now get out there before you get all pruney and stuff," I said to her. But she wanted to stay in for a while longer. "Mushu, if you're so worried, go stand watch," she said. "Yeah, yeah," I said as I walked away and imitated her. "Stand watch Mushu while I blow our secret with my stupid girly habits," I said. I even wriggled my hips like a girl to show the full effect of why this was a problem to me.
"Humph, hygiene," I said when I stood next to Cri Kee. I was about to tell him about how women were so picky when he chirped a warning. I opened my eyes just in time to see Chien Po, Yao, and Ling running towards the lake with nothing but their birthday suits on. One of them dropped their underwear on me before I could even say any thing, and man did that thing smell.
I quickly pulled it off my face and watched them all jump in. "We're doomed, and there are a couple of things I know they are bound to notice," I told Cri Kee as I ran toward the water. I had to make sure Mulan's secret was not discovered or we would be in so much trouble.
I jumped into the water and dived down deep so I could not be seen. When I was close enough to them, I noticed that Chien Po was the closest to Mulan and thought that I should scare him. I took my claws and tried to scratch his butt but he did not even feel it probably because of all that fat and I did not want to even try to bite it, which would be gross and not very fun.
Suddenly the water stirred a little and I noticed that Ling was now going after Mulan. I thought about getting a fish to bite him since any body could mistake his unmentionables for a worm but that would be wrong and not a nice way to neuter. I decided to do the only thing I knew would work, bite him in the butt. I did it just in time too, just when he was about to get Mulan closer to him, I bit down hard. He jumped and I came up sputtering and trying to spit out the horrible flavor that had collected itself onto his butt.
"Snake!!!" he screamed causing the other two to jump onto a nearby rock for safety. I swam back with Mulan to the shore where I grabbed Khan's tail just so I could spend a few more moments trying to get the nasty flavor out.
Mulan then covered herself with a towel and sighed with relief while I got my toothbrush and toothpaste. "Boy that was close," she said. I began to brush my teeth. "No that was bad, you owe me big," I said to her and spat out the toothpaste only to add even more of it in my mouth. Yes that was the grossest thing I have ever tasted in my life and I hope to never do it again.
"I never want to see another naked man again," she said. Suddenly the entire camp came running toward the water naked and Mulan stood there wide eyed and lost for words. "Don't look at me I ain't bitin' no more butts," I said and followed Mulan back to her tent. If she ever did that again, I would let the fishes handle the situation.
"I'm sorry about that," said Mulan while we were walking. I had just put a mint in my mouth and spat it out so I could talk. "You better be, I just used up all my toothpaste because of that incident," I said. "Did it really taste that bad?" asked Mulan. "No it tasted like lilacs; yes it tasted bad, have you ever tried old hardboiled eggs?" I asked her. "Yeah," said Mulan. "It tasted something like that, only a little more rancid," I told her. Mulan looked at me disgusted. "Okay next time I want to take a bath I will use the sponge again," she said. "That's a good girl," I told her.
We then reached the camp where Mulan could hear Chi Fu and Shang talking about fighting. Mulan and I decided to stand there and listen. Chi Fu was totally against the idea because he thought "those boys" were no more fit to be soldiers than Shang was fit to be captain. I did not like that one bit, I had worked too hard to get Mulan into the army and now this piece of cow poop was messing with my plan, I had to do something. But I would wait until Chi Fu was not in his tent.
Shang then came out in a huff and Mulan stood there trying to get his attention. "Hey, I'll hold him and you punch," she said. Shang ignored her. "Or not," she said. She then decided to cheer him up. "For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain," she said. Shang stopped for a moment looking like he was about to say something but continued to walk off. Mulan just stood there and smiled.
"I saw that," I said to her. "What?" said Mulan who acted like she did nothing. "You like him, don't you?" I asked in a teasing manner. "No I..." she said but I stopped her from continuing. "Yeah right, yeah sure, go to your tent!" I said sounding like her father. Mulan just smiled and walked off, Cri Kee was about to follow but I stopped him. "I think it's time we took this war into our own hands," I said to him evilly and ran over to the tent hoping that Chi Fu would leave for a few minutes so I could set up my plan.
I was worried that he would be there all night when he suddenly jumped out with a towel around him. He was going to take a bath; it must have been bath night. I slithered on in and was about to say something to Cri Kee when I noticed that he was missing. He was still outside, I guess he wanted to keep watch but that was not what I wanted him to do. I then grabbed his antenna and pulled him in.
"It's time for you to do some of my dirty work," I said to him. "What is it?" he chirped. "I want you to write a letter from the general that states that they need help up at the pass, you think you can handle that?" I asked him. "Yes sir," he said. I nodded approvingly and jumped onto his desk where I found his paper and ink. "Get going," I told Cri Kee. Cri Kee began to write the letter with his little feet while I sat nearby staring at a painting of Chi Fu and the Emperor. The Emperor looked a little annoyed by Chi Fu in the picture but who wouldn't, he wants everything perfect.
Cri Kee then chirped that he was done and I ran over to read the letter. "Okay let me see what you got," I said and began to read it out loud. "From General Lee, dear son, we're waiting for the Huns at the pass and it would me a lot if you'd come and back us up," I said. Man that letter was pathetic and too polite like Cri Kee, I decided to be sarcastic at him so he could get my drift. "That's great except you forgot, and since we are out of potpourri perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing up some," I said to him. He even nodded at that statement. "Hello!" I yelled in his face. "This is the army, make it sound more urgent please, you know what I'm talking about?" I asked him as I threw the letter away. Cri Kee then began to write a new one and I liked how that one was going and when I felt that everything was alright, I grabbed it and ran out of the tent.
I now needed a disguise which was to dress as a soldier I did not have a problem trying to find that but I needed some form of transportation and Khan would be perfect. I found him drinking some water at a trough and jumped on his back. "Khan-y baby," I said. Khan turned and looked at me. "Hey we need a ride," I said to him. He gave me a very simple answer. He just spat water at me causing me to fall off his back and onto the hard earth. I got up and knew that I had to find someone else. I thought about Shang or Chi Fu's horses but they did not know me and I did not want to risk it.
I thought about this problem for a long time when I heard some leaves shake in a nearby patch of bamboo. Cri Kee and I ran over to see what it was and found a panda happily munching away at the stuff. "Hey there Teddy," I said to him politely. "My names Xsing Xsing," he growled. "Oh Xsing Xsing then, can you help us?" I asked him. He munched on a piece of bamboo which seemed like ages before he finally answered. "Depends, what do you want?" he asked. "Well I'm trying to get this kid I'm guarding to fight in the army but Chi Fu will not let the captain because he thinks that they are not ready yet, so I need to pretend that I am one of the general's men and I need to ride on someone," I said to him.
Xsing Xsing munched on his piece of bamboo for a few minutes again and I was getting agitated. "Do you want me to singe your butt?" I asked him. "I'm thinking," was his simple answer. "Well think harder, no wonder you guys are becoming extinct," I said to him. He stared at me for a moment like I had insulted him and then spoke up. "What's in it for me then?" he asked. "Umm..." I thought for a moment, how in the world do you make a panda happy? "How about this, when you die, say of old age, you can become a guardian of the Fa family, it's really fun," I said to him. He munched a few seconds and then spoke up again. "That sounds nice, what do guardians do all day?" he asked. "Well stand still as stone, and listen to the first ancestor when spoken too, that sounds fun to you right, since all you do is sit around and chew" I told him. "I like that, I think you have a deal," he said. "Alright, now stay there while I go get what I need," I told him. He just nodded and continued to chew on the bamboo.
I returned with some armor and hay which I stuffed into the armor and put on Xsing Xsing's back. I then told Cri Kee to go to the head and only show his stomach and antennae. I stayed in the back of the armor so I could move the arms. Once we were all situated we headed to the lake where Chi Fu was just coming out.
Chi Fu was quite mad at the fact that the soldiers had ruined his slippers and when Xsing Xsing grabbed his last slipper and ate it, Chi Fu screamed like a girl, something he said he could not do.
"Urgent news from the general," I said as the puppet held the note in his hand. Chi Fu just stared at Xsing Xsing dumbfounded. "What's the matter, you've never seen a black and white before?" I asked him as I shook the notice so he could take it. "Who are you?" he asked suspiciously. I never had time to think up a name so I decided to talk him angrily which I have so often wanted to do. "Excuse me, I believe the question is who are you, we're in a war man, there's not time for stupid questions. I should have your hat for that, snatch it right off your head, but I'm feeling gracious today so carry on before I report to you," I said as Xsing Xsing then began to climb up a tree almost causing the armor to fall down. I grabbed it just in time.
We then watched from the tree as Chi Fu began to read the message looking quite surprised. He turned around to talk to me but found that I was gone. "Alright I think he bought it," I said happily. "That slipper was good, I wonder if they have any more," said Xsing Xsing licking his lips. "Actually those are high in fiber and I don't think the soldiers would appreciate having cold feet at night," I told him. "Oh pooey, but I will still take you up on that guardian offer, but right now I need more bamboo, so I will see you later," said Xsing Xsing and climbed down the tree and back into the bamboo thicket.
Cri Kee and I then followed Chi Fu to Shang's tent where Chi Fu told Shang that they were needed at the front. I stared at Cri Kee and smiled from ear to ear. The plan worked. Mulan was finally going to fight. "Pack your bags Cri Kee, we're moving out," I told the lucky bug. Cri Kee hi fived me and we ran back to Mulan's tent to tell her the good news.
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Yay I'm done with that chapter. It took me a week and a half to write it but mostly because I had a few papers to write for some of my classes and one of them I found out is not due until March 3, oh well it's nice to start something early sometimes. I hope that that is the correct way to spell Xsing Xsing; I remember that the Washington D.C. Zoo had a panda with that name but it was a long time ago when I read it. That is all I have to say for now, please review and if you do I will read your story and review it. Have a nice day.