Unofficial and official disclaimers, intros and other stuff no one ever
reads:
My first. well, actually second. or more like third. attempt at humor.
Please R&R. Constructive criticism, unconstructive criticism, constructive
uncriticism and unconstructive uncriticism, everything appreciated.
I don't own the Matrix. And neither do you, unless you're. um, forgot their
names. But you aren't them, right? Good enough?
I don't even own the characters in this story, though they aren't from the
movies. They're pennames of people in my guild. So, much thankies to Genko
and Theta, whose nicknames I'm using without their permission :) A quick
note: Genko is an operator, Theta is a pilot.
Also much and many thankies to my sister who edited this story and saved it
from being any more horrible than it already is.
OK, on with the story.
-------------------------------
"As good as dead. There's nothing more we can do."
"But there has to be," shouted Genko, staring at his screen and punching buttons.
"We tried everything we could. We have to pull the plug."
"But-" He stopped arguing as his screen went black. Theta plugged the computer back in. The screen came back to life, showing a picture far too bright and colorful for the two humans' mood.
"I was sure I could get it to unfreeze," Genko grumbled.
Theta sighed. "I've read a lot about this sort of system before. Once Windows3000 freezes, it will never unfreeze."
The screen displayed a blue bar, its left edge slowly turning yellow. A window popped up.
"One percent loaded. Continue? (y/n)"
Genko banged the "y" button as if it was an agent's head. "Who programmed this thing?!"
A pleasant computer-generated voice replied, "Windows3000, the latest version, was developed by Pamela Carter and Stanley Roberts. It contains new superior options, including 3D Matrix code display, optimized ..."
Genko turned off the speakers. "Oh, so it listens in on conversations as well?"
Theta shook her head. "This is an auto-run introduction. It's played every time the system loads."
"Wonderful," Genko muttered, mentally cursing Pamela Carter and Stanley Roberts. His gaze fell on the screen, where a new pop-up was waiting. "Two percent loaded. Continue? (y/n)"
Genko punched "y" again, only to get the same message about three percent.
The operator rolled his eyes. "I don't believe this. Does it do that for every percent it loads?"
"Apparently," replied Theta. "However, there might be an antidote."
She took a small piece of metal from the table and put it on the keyboard, over the "y" button. The annoying window disappeared. As soon as the next one popped up, it was gone as well.
Genko looked at Theta with admiration. "You're a genius."
But at that exact moment the computer started beeping loudly.
"I thought I turned the speakers off," shouted Genko over the annoying alarm-clock sound.
Theta was already reading the manual that came with the new computer and installation disk. With a barely audible sigh she took the weight off the button. The beeping stopped.
"Version 3.2 has been equipped with an extra emergency speaker," Theta read aloud from the booklet. "If one or more buttons are held down for more than 4.5 seconds, it will ring to wake the operator up in case he fell asleep, fainted, or died on his keyboard."
"Cheerful," Genko muttered. "How do we turn it off?"
"We can't. As a security precaution, it was built into the CPU. Unless we dismantle it, which would require dismantling of the whole computer, it will remain intact for as long as the computer is powered. There might be a way to fool the software, but we can't do anything until the system is loaded."
"Eleven percent loaded. Continue? (y/n)"
"OK, we'll have to cope with it," Genko decided, restoring the piece on the button.
The Delphi once again became filled with ringing.
-------------------------------
In about an hour Genko looked up at the screen and saw that the computer finally loaded. With a happy yelp he took the piece of metal off the button and then took off his headset. It provided at least some protection against the ringing.
He looked at Theta triumphantly and announced "It loaded!" in a voice hoarse from shouting.
The pilot looked at the screen as well. "It seems something has been damaged during the rebooting process."
Looking at the monitor again, Genko had to agree that was true. The screen was filled with unfamiliar shortcuts, graphs, a few windows playing Windows3000 commercials, a background showing an agent about to shoot a human, and to top it all off it was all in black and white.
Genko sank into his chair. "I don't believe this..."
Theta flipped through the manual for a while, and then her agentish voice gave an explanation. "I believe that after it loaded it provided us with a choice of special options. Since we replied 'yes' to everything, all these features must now be active."
The operator groaned. "All of them? Then this is only the beginning! I bet when we try to view the Matrix coding it will show every symbol as a collection of butterflies!"
"No," replied Theta, reading the booklet. "However, it will be 3-D."
Genko sighed and pressed a few buttons. The computer didn't respond. He tried again, but nothing changed. "Frozen again," he complained to Theta.
She watched the screen where the commercials were still playing, then reached out and turned the speakers on. An explosion of sound followed. Theta quickly turned them off again. Then another window popped up. "You haven't been active for 1 minute. Do you wish to continue working?"
"It doesn't seem to be frozen," she commented. "Must be another feature."
She looked through the manual again until she found what she was looking for. "We are aware that core computers don't use joysticks, but for those who would like to change that tradition we created this choice."
Genko always thought of himself as a patient person, but now he was starting to doubt that assumption. "Do we even HAVE a joystick?"
Theta shook her head. "Not a computer one. It was assumed that core computers don't need one, so we weren't provided with it."
"What does that leave us with," the operator asked, dreading the answer.
"Rebooting."
-------------------------------
Again, please review. And tell me if I should continue it. (I already plan to continue, I just don't want to post it if it bores people to death.) Thanks for reading.
OK, on with the story.
-------------------------------
"As good as dead. There's nothing more we can do."
"But there has to be," shouted Genko, staring at his screen and punching buttons.
"We tried everything we could. We have to pull the plug."
"But-" He stopped arguing as his screen went black. Theta plugged the computer back in. The screen came back to life, showing a picture far too bright and colorful for the two humans' mood.
"I was sure I could get it to unfreeze," Genko grumbled.
Theta sighed. "I've read a lot about this sort of system before. Once Windows3000 freezes, it will never unfreeze."
The screen displayed a blue bar, its left edge slowly turning yellow. A window popped up.
"One percent loaded. Continue? (y/n)"
Genko banged the "y" button as if it was an agent's head. "Who programmed this thing?!"
A pleasant computer-generated voice replied, "Windows3000, the latest version, was developed by Pamela Carter and Stanley Roberts. It contains new superior options, including 3D Matrix code display, optimized ..."
Genko turned off the speakers. "Oh, so it listens in on conversations as well?"
Theta shook her head. "This is an auto-run introduction. It's played every time the system loads."
"Wonderful," Genko muttered, mentally cursing Pamela Carter and Stanley Roberts. His gaze fell on the screen, where a new pop-up was waiting. "Two percent loaded. Continue? (y/n)"
Genko punched "y" again, only to get the same message about three percent.
The operator rolled his eyes. "I don't believe this. Does it do that for every percent it loads?"
"Apparently," replied Theta. "However, there might be an antidote."
She took a small piece of metal from the table and put it on the keyboard, over the "y" button. The annoying window disappeared. As soon as the next one popped up, it was gone as well.
Genko looked at Theta with admiration. "You're a genius."
But at that exact moment the computer started beeping loudly.
"I thought I turned the speakers off," shouted Genko over the annoying alarm-clock sound.
Theta was already reading the manual that came with the new computer and installation disk. With a barely audible sigh she took the weight off the button. The beeping stopped.
"Version 3.2 has been equipped with an extra emergency speaker," Theta read aloud from the booklet. "If one or more buttons are held down for more than 4.5 seconds, it will ring to wake the operator up in case he fell asleep, fainted, or died on his keyboard."
"Cheerful," Genko muttered. "How do we turn it off?"
"We can't. As a security precaution, it was built into the CPU. Unless we dismantle it, which would require dismantling of the whole computer, it will remain intact for as long as the computer is powered. There might be a way to fool the software, but we can't do anything until the system is loaded."
"Eleven percent loaded. Continue? (y/n)"
"OK, we'll have to cope with it," Genko decided, restoring the piece on the button.
The Delphi once again became filled with ringing.
-------------------------------
In about an hour Genko looked up at the screen and saw that the computer finally loaded. With a happy yelp he took the piece of metal off the button and then took off his headset. It provided at least some protection against the ringing.
He looked at Theta triumphantly and announced "It loaded!" in a voice hoarse from shouting.
The pilot looked at the screen as well. "It seems something has been damaged during the rebooting process."
Looking at the monitor again, Genko had to agree that was true. The screen was filled with unfamiliar shortcuts, graphs, a few windows playing Windows3000 commercials, a background showing an agent about to shoot a human, and to top it all off it was all in black and white.
Genko sank into his chair. "I don't believe this..."
Theta flipped through the manual for a while, and then her agentish voice gave an explanation. "I believe that after it loaded it provided us with a choice of special options. Since we replied 'yes' to everything, all these features must now be active."
The operator groaned. "All of them? Then this is only the beginning! I bet when we try to view the Matrix coding it will show every symbol as a collection of butterflies!"
"No," replied Theta, reading the booklet. "However, it will be 3-D."
Genko sighed and pressed a few buttons. The computer didn't respond. He tried again, but nothing changed. "Frozen again," he complained to Theta.
She watched the screen where the commercials were still playing, then reached out and turned the speakers on. An explosion of sound followed. Theta quickly turned them off again. Then another window popped up. "You haven't been active for 1 minute. Do you wish to continue working?"
"It doesn't seem to be frozen," she commented. "Must be another feature."
She looked through the manual again until she found what she was looking for. "We are aware that core computers don't use joysticks, but for those who would like to change that tradition we created this choice."
Genko always thought of himself as a patient person, but now he was starting to doubt that assumption. "Do we even HAVE a joystick?"
Theta shook her head. "Not a computer one. It was assumed that core computers don't need one, so we weren't provided with it."
"What does that leave us with," the operator asked, dreading the answer.
"Rebooting."
-------------------------------
Again, please review. And tell me if I should continue it. (I already plan to continue, I just don't want to post it if it bores people to death.) Thanks for reading.