.:.Chapter Seven.:.
Thank you to all of our wonderful reviewers! We hope you enjoy!
.:.:.:Jealousy.:.:.:.
Remus looked tiredly down at the 'Dark Curses and Counter curses' book and rubbed his eyes tiredly. His seventh year class was extremely smart, and he was having a hard time finding them challenging things to do. Most of them had been in the DA so there was no point in going back over that stuff, the other half of them were children of Death Eater's so they knew more about dark curses than him!
He looked up at the wizard clock on the fireplace mantle and blearily read 12:00am. Remus closed the book and rested his head against the back of the squashy chair he was in, already feeling the effects of a long day and the coming again of the full moon.
Harry came through the slide wall with a heavy bag of books swinging from his shoulder. He heaved it down and fell unceremoniously at Remus's feet, resting his head back against the other man's knees.
"Trying to become an Auror is hard work man." He muttered and turned to crawl up the man a little and 'flumped' his head onto the other mans chest.
When Remus began to soothingly stroke his hair he let out a relaxed moan and then picked up the book Remus had been reading.
"I've already taught them this." He said with an apologetic wince.
Remus groaned and whacked the book gentle against his forehead, "I know, you have already taught them everything I am. I'm just reading this thing again in hopes that you missed something."
Harry smirked and skimmed the book quickly.
"Nope, me, the ever gorgeous and perfectionist Boy Who Lived," He stopped suddenly and thought for a second, "'Boy' Who Lived. Wonder if they'll still call me that when im 48? Anyways, me the ever brilliant Potter, miss something? I think not my most wonderful Mate."
Remus grinned, "No, when you get 48 they'll call you the Geezer Who Lived, and I'll be Wow What A Prehistoric Body Lupin." Chuckling at himself he turned his amber eyes back to the book and sighed throwing it down on the floor, "Oh well, guess this means more time to myself."
Harry laughed and toyed with Remus's fingers.
"I never taught them about Magical Beasts though," He turned his face to Remus's, "If that helps any." He added with a smile. He continued to idly slip his fingers in-between Remus's and pondered for a while.
"Do you think Dumbledore will let me continue the DA or is that a little redundant My Oh So Well Preserved Wolf."
Remus shrugged, "Why don't you just teach Defense Against the Dark Arts? That's practically what you are doing anyway." He said a little put out that he had nothing to teach, but happy that his mate was helping others in this great way.
"Hagrid's moving over the mountains coming Christmas and we'll be needing a Care of Magical Creatures professor, and you know that I know animals." He said with a grin.
Harry smiled and patted Remus's cheek lovingly.
"As fun as that would be I have to concentrate on my studies. Besides, I only taught about 25 or so people, there's still a lot that need educating. Talking of which, better start my homework." And so he reached for his bag and pulled out horribly long essays which he began with a grimace.
"Ah well, it'll be worth it in the end...If the ministry of course ever give up on their pride and hire the friggin boy who lived." He muttered a little angrily until he spotted the silver band gleaming on his ring finger. It never failed to make him smile.
Remus felt a warmth spread over his body when Harry looked down at the ring and smiled happily. With a happy sigh he moved down into the floor and stretched out close to the fireplace, absorbing the beautiful warmth that spread across his skin.
Harry watched him and felt like doing the same, it was in his cat nature. He let out a purr and muttering a "screw it" he threw his work over his shoulder and curled up against the warm body, pawing slightly and shutting his eyes blissfully, a continuous content purr tentavily leaving his throat as he settled.
The werewolf growled tenderly and wrapped an arm around his mate drawing him closer to his body. Pretty soon the warmth of the fire and the soft breaths of his mate lulled Remus to sleep, and for him there was nothing better than being able to simply enjoy the silence in peace with the man that he loved.
Harry felt Remus's breathing even out and he sat up and opened his slightly bleary eyes. With the firelight highlighting his hair and the relaxed look of sleep on his face Remus looked years younger and Harry stroked his cheek lightly as not to wake him.
Harry briefly remembered back to when he had seen a young Remus in Snape's pensive and the swooping feeling in his stomach when he had spotted him. He'd merely placed it as excitement at the time but he wondered now if some far off part of his brain was telling him of his attraction.
He really didn't want to wake the other man and so with a smile he turned back to his homework.
~~*~~
Remus yawned and shook his head, frowning at his surroundings. He was up in his bed instead of on the floor by the fire. With a faint smile he guessed that Harry had brought him up. ("Thank Merlin he did or my bones would really be cracking this morning!")
The werewolf slipped from his Harry-less bed and put on a pair of frayed but clean robes and set off for the Great Hall, ravenous for some breakfast.
~*~
Harry was already in the Great Hall upon his arrival and was currently sitting talking to a solemn looking Hermione and Ron who seemed to add something every now and again.
"I know it's weird for you Hermione but please, I'm so happy with him but I really don't want to lose you as a friend." Harry said whilst Hermione looked sincerely into his eyes.
"Plus no one will be able to say your a couple all the time now, your love life will flourish now they know for sure your single." Ron added light heartedly and both Harry and Hermione chuckled slightly.
"I know, I'm not breaking up as a friend over this Harry but...I'll get used to it. Maybe it's the whole He's Remus thing. He's like me, a bookworm, and I guess in a way it shocked me that someone who basically follows the same principles would end up doing such a...what's the word, rebellious? Extraordinary? thing." He said and Harry nodded understandably. He kinda could get why that would wig her out.
"Ugh stopping with the depressing talk." She said suddenly with a wave of her hand and smiled at the laughing boys. "Can I see your ring?" She said timidly.
Harry smiled and held out his hand for her and she gasped happily when she saw it. "Oh it's wonderful....What does he mean by 'Shadow' though?" Even Ron looked curiously at him and Harry mock cringed and went into the story of becoming an Animagi for Remus with impressed looks from his two friends.
~*~
Remus watched the Gryffindor trio from the Staff's table and smiled to see the three of them laughing. It had saddened him that Hermione wasn't taking to the relationship well, but he knew that she had a good heart and over time she would come to accept it.
"I trust your rooms are fine?" came the age old voice of Dumbledore.
Lupin looked to the man and smiled, "They're perfect. Took Harry a few minutes to figure out how to get in, but other than that there hasn't been a problem."
Dumbledore smiled with that twinkle alive in his eyes, "I have informed the other teachers of your situation so now they know not to break out into hysterics when they see Harry coming from your quarters."
Remus smiled, "Great, wouldn't want to cause a seen now would we?"
Dumbledore shook his head, "Definitely not!"
"Remus!"
The werewolf's head snapped around to see the smiling face of Vector, the Arithmacy Professor. "Oh, hi Vector."
The man smiled and scooted his chair closer, "So how is my favorite werewolf doing?" the man said elbowing Remus' in the ribs with a laugh causing the man to smile.
~*~
As Harry was talking he could feel eyes burning into the back of his head and so he turned around and saw half of the Staff turn their heads quickly, trying to look innocent. Ron too noticed this as he began cracking up and even Hermione was grinning a little.
"Um, ahe I reckon they know about you mate." Ron managed to chuckle out and Harry smirked widely before turning and waving slyly at them all. Hermione, hiding a smile slapped his hand down.
~*~
Remus about broke out into hysterical laughter when he saw Harry wave at the 'innocent' staff members.
Vector looked at the man, "Ah yes, I heard about you and Mr.. Potter. Quite extraordinary if you ask me."
The werewolf nodded and then tinkling bell sounded, signaling that breakfast was over. There was a rush of students towards the dorr and the Professor walked calmly behind them, shoo-ing the straggliers on ahead.
Harry, Ron and Hermione were all walking to the Gryffindor sixth years first class of Defense against the dark arts. All the students were positively buzzing as they hadn't had a decent class all year bar Harry's defense league.
The loud hum of students piled into the room and as the trio entered Ron winked at Lupin whilst Harry blew him a small kiss accompanied by a wink. Hermione merely rolled her eyes.
The three sat in the middle row and Harry couldn't help but smile when he heard Parvarti whisper to Lavender "Professor Lupin's so cute, do you think he's single?" They giggled and Harry had to kick Ron under the table to stop him laughing. Smirking he leant over to the red head.
"Should I tell them he's an animal in the sack?" He whispered and this time Ron did laugh.
Remus looked around the classroom a little nervously, but cleared his throat, "Good morning class. I would suppose that you all remember me from your third year. Well this year we will be learning how to defend ourselves against even more disgusting beasts." He smiled as though it would be extremely fun, "Since Mr.. Potter has shown all of you a great deal about defending yourselves we will also be trying wandless magic."
Harry waved quite happily as Ron snorted along with the classes chuckles.
"This should be good." Hermione whispered to them as Remus prepared the classroom for practicing, "I hear the power of a wandless spell intensifies with your emotion."
"Is that why I blew up my aunt." Harry said with a smile, "'Cause she was a cow and pissed me off, Call my mum a bitch." He muttered angrily.
While the Gryffindors all looked around in excitement the Slytherins rolled their eyes and Draco Malfoy spoke up, "Professor, I thought that wandless magic is a myth. A wizard's wand is there to help him control the energy flow and to direct the spell/charm."
Remus smiled at Draco, "That's correct, but remember before you received your Hogwarts letter how strange things would happen." The werewolf spared a glance in Harry's direction, "Well that was wandless magic. Now all we are going to do is bring back that magic, those emotions, and help you control them."
"I think it's a great idea," Harry said whilst glaring at the now sneering Malfoy."After all, there maybe times when we are caught un-armed. At least you'd be able to defend yourself."
A murmur of agreement grew around the room and Harry gave Remus a small wink and smile.
"Anyway, you were telling us what we are going to do before Mr. Ego-Trip over here squeaked his dis-pleasure." The Gryffindor's laughed heartily and Harry felt sure he even spotted a few Slytherins hiding their giggles too.
Remus had to fight a laugh, but he gave Harry a stern look, "That'll be five points from Gryffindor Mr.. Potter. Running down a classmate is not an option in this classroom. In the years to come you will all need each other, and creating disunity will not help."
He looked around at the students, "Is that clear?"
Harry rolled his eyes and waved his hand in a very regal manner causing a few more titters. "As crystal Professor." He said with a boyish smirk and Ron was coughing into his hand although it sounded remarkably like a laugh.
Remus seemed to scowl a little and Harry suddenly seemed a little cheeky so he mouthed "Sorry, I love you" behind his hand at Remus and the scowl seemed to disappear.
Harry leant back into his chair and whapped Ron's arm to stop him chuckling with a smile.
The scowl on Remus' face may have disappeared but the anger that welled up inside did not. Mate or no mate, he was going to be respected in the classroom and Harry was going to have to deal with it. "Five more points from Gryffindor for your cheek Mr.. Potter."
The room went silent. The only Gryffindor teacher that actually took points away was McGonagall. A few of the Slytherins sniggered at this and Remus kept his stern look up. He was going to let Harry know that he would not be favored because he shared his bed.
A faint crease formed between Harry's eyebrows. He knew he had done wrong and he'd apologized, so it was unfortunate that the anger he seemed to have developed in fifth year began to surface a little. He removed the frown from his face and in it's place a cold look that was harsh. He mouthed what seemed to be an equally cold "Fine."
"I'm sorry Professor _Lupin_." He said, ice practically dripping from the words, " I'll try to learn my place." It seemed that Shadow within him began to growl at being embarrassed in front of the Slytherins and he could feel the vibrations of it against his chest.
Remus could feel the rise in Harry's emotions and the wolf within him wanted to growl, but he had a class to teach.
The rest of the class period went by in total silence. Remus had given everyone two chapters to read about wandless magic and then an essay about it for homework. When the tinkling bell sounded that class was over Remus spoke, "Mr.. Potter stay after."
Harry really did let out a growl this time and slammed his stuff into his bag, causing Ron and Hermione to wince. They had been on the end of his temper once and muttered that they'd tell McGonagall he'd be late. He nodded savagely and swung his bag over his shoulders.
"Yes Professor? Don't mean to rush you but McGonagall can get rather testy when students walk in late." He said as he reached the teaches desk and kept the coldness in his voice to a maximum.
Remus shook his head, "Harry I can't believe how you acted today! Just because you are my mate doens't mean that I am going to give you special treatment in the classroom! You totally disrespected me today!"
"And I apologized for it, It's not like I was doing it to spite you! I cheek you punish me, give me detention, but don't blame Gryffindor for it!" He said his voice losing the icy quality and now simply sounding angry.
"In the future I'll just keep my mouth shut, How's that? Suit you?" He added and a hard glint came into his viridian gaze.
"Now, Harry, don't get mad at me for doing my job! You know that when you apologized you didn't mean it one wee bit! You were just seeing how many people you could make laugh!" The werewolf growled and crossed his arms over his chest, "I never said I wanted you to keep your mouth shut I just want to be treated like a Professor while we are in the classroom!"
"Apologize to make people laugh?! I apologized behind my hand when no one was looking, oh yes caused a bleeding riot didn't it. I'm sorry but I thought I was just bantering with you, I shan't bother in future. And as for me making people laugh at other's dispense I don't do that, I'm not my father or Sirius!"
He swung the bag over his arm violently and marched out of the room, the crowd waiting to get in jumping out of his way as he marched fuming to Transfigurations. He halted at the door and turned to face the now fiercely scowling man.
"No matter how much you may want me to be!" He added angrily before leaving again.
~*~
Remus sat in the Great Hall chewing his food as normally as he could, but he just couldn't get Harry's words out of his head. He didn't taste what he ate, all he could think about was keeping his tears in his eyes. Was he really trying to make Harry like James .. like Sirius?
Meanwhile Harry had his hands weaved into his hair as he sat at the Gryffindor table. He regretted what he said but knew that it had cut Remus deep. Ron was patting his back sympathetically and Hermione was giving him a tentive look.
"Can't you just apologize to him, say you didn't mean it?" She asked and Harry silently shook his head.
"Why not?" Ron asked as he rubbed the other boys back reassuringly.
"'Cause I hurt him worse than words can fix," He croaked out and slid his hands to rest around his neck, "Why do I always do this?" He muttered angrily and had to fight tears as a glint of silver on his finger caught his eye.
Dumbledore frowned as he looked from Remus to Harry. Definitely something wrong there! He nudged Remus lightly and said, "Is there a rift between you and Harry?"
Remus nodded, "He thinks I am trying to make him be like James and Sirius."
The older man nodded, "Are you?"
The werewolf simply whispered, "I don't know, but if I am how can I ask forgiveness for something I didn't even know that I was doing?"
Dumbledore patted the man on his back, "Just talk to Harry. I'm sure you to can work it out."
Remus sniffled and gritted his teeth to hide his tears as he forced down another bite of meat.
~*~
People were filing out of the Hall but Harry stopped abruptly as he stepped outside the doors. He was shaking slightly with all the emotion but he had to fix this. He knew he'd been cheeky and that he could apologize for but he wasn't quite sure what he was going to do about the Sirius comment.
Right now he didn't care and he stood waiting despite the stares he was getting and waited for his mate to exit the main hall. He whipped furiously at any tears that were building up and stood straight backed ready to face what was to come.
Remus walked slowly from the staff table and made sure that the lagging students were making it out of the Great Hall. He was the last of the Professor's to make it to the doors. He sniffled and wiped a tear as he walked through the doors, Hoping to find Harry at the Lair when he got there.
Harry felt the chivalry wash out of him at the sight of Remus crying and felt a powerful ball of guilt rise in his chest.
("I caused that") He thought and felt the ball move to his throat. He couldn't do this, It wasn't enough to just simply say I'm sorry and so with glassy eyes he made his way to Gryffindor tower rather than the Lair. Ron seemed unperturbed to see a tearful Harry walk into the boys dorm 10 minutes later and simply held out his arms to comfort his mournful best friend.
"Why can't I do anything right?" He sobbed into his shoulder and Ron shushed him whilst rocking him gently.
~*~
When Remus returned to the Lair he found it empty and he felt his heart hit the floor and shatter. He dropped to his knees in front of the fire and simply stared as the tears ran down his cheeks. He had done it again. He had hurt his mate. What kind of man was he? He had vowed to never hurt him, but every time he turned around he was doing it again.
The werewolf lay down in front of the fire and balled up into a fetal position whispering pitifully, "I'm sorry."
~*~
Harry was curled up in the bed that would've been his and sobbed quietly as he stroked the ring on his finger. He heard someone coming towards the bed and curled up even tighter.
"Harry?" An irish voice called and Harry cringed. It was Seamus.
"Harry! Bloody hell why are you crying." He said and Harry felt the bed dip as the other boy sit down.
"Not now Seamus please," He chocked out and pulled the covers over his head but Seamus merely pulled them back down.
"I don't like seeing you like this Harry." He said tentavily and he stroked a hand through Harry's black hair which caused him to sit bolt up right and jerk his head back.
"What are you doing?" He asked frantically and Seamus continued to watch him. Then he looked down.
"Harry....Over the summer I did a lot of thinking and......I'm truly sorry about everything I said last year. But I realized too that....You mean more to me then I thought." He looked up at the wide eyed Harry and whispered, "I really like you, And seeing you like this is killing me." He leant forwards but Harry leant further back and shook his head, causing a few tears to drop.
"I'm sorry Seamus, Your really nice and I know it took a lot for you to tell me that but I'm.....I love somebody else but you made me realize something. If something's worth saying then you've just gotta do it." Seamus looked shattered but Harry took his hand and wiping his tears he smiled at the other boy.
"Don't think I'm not flattered though." He said and even Seamus smiled a little, "I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you want."
Seamus breathed in deeply but smiled despite anything in his heart. "Yeah, me too. She's lucky you know that." He said and Harry smiled. With a squeeze Harry stood from the bed and with a final nod to Seamus he made his way to the Lair.
~*~
"Remus?" He called into the dark room and looked around.
Remus immediately jumped up from the couch where he had finally dragged himself, "Harry." He said and rushed over to his mate, wrapping his arms around him while he whispered that he was sorry and that he never wanted Harry to be like Sirius.
But he stopped suddenly, and stepped back from Harry. Harry didn't smell like his usual apple self, he smelled .. different. "Who have you been with Harry?" Remus asked in a calmly angered voice while Moony growled low within him with protectiveness.
Harry frowned. "With? What do you mean with? I've spoken to Ron and Seamus if that's what you mean?" He berated himself from getting angry or upset. He was here to apologize after all.
"Remus are you ok? Is this about today?" He asked quietly and looked into the darkened Amber gaze.
Remus dismissed Harry's last question and instead thought about Seamus. Of course he had seen the way the boy looked at his mate, everybody could look but he didn't want his smell on _his_ mate. "Where were you with Seamus?" questioned the werewolf.
"Up in the dorms. I was upset so he came over." Harry said slowly and backed away slightly from the werewolf. He hadn't expected this. "Remus are you...Jealous?" He asked and desperately wanted to turn this back to what he had originally come up here to do.
Some part of Remus cringed that his mate was backing away from him but the protective/jealous wolf within would not let it go. What was in the dorms? Beds! Where was Harry and Seamus? In the dorm with the beds! "No I am not jealous." he spat his amber eyes darkening to a rich shade of burgundy.
Harry jumped and turned away from the look in Remus's eyes. He backed himself against the door and prepared himself to turn into Shadow if things got....out of hand.
"Remus, Please," He whispered looking back up, "Nothing happened, I love you, And I'm sorry for today, that's why I came here, It was my fault I shouldn't of said that, Please." He felt tears springing to his eyes and was disgusted with himself for fearing his mate.
Seeing his mate backed-up, cornered, and frightened seemed to bring Remus back to his senses. His eyes cleared to their normal color and he dropped to his knees his face buried in his hands, "I'm sorry, Harry, I have scared you and I promise I would never hurt you it's just ..." and here he quit talking while sobs claimed his tired body.
Harry felt his heart wrench and he reached out his hand slowly to touch the bowed head. He felt the tears slip down his cheeks and he moved forward slowly until he knelt before the weeping man.
He put his arms slowly around Remus and pulled him to him tentavily, crying silently as he rocked back and forth with his sobbing mate.
"You didn't hurt me, you didn't, you're good and kind." He croaked and stroked the velvet hair. "I didn't mean what I said earlier, I just wanted to hurt you. You're the good one Remus, You didn't hurt me, it's the other way around."
Remus put his arms around Harry's waist and clung to his mate while he sobbed. The man's words came out in-between the body-wracking sobs, "I don't care how you act in class, Harry, just as long as you don't leave me." The man sounded as a child who was afraid of losing their best friend.
Harry felt fresh tears fall from his eyes and he closed his eyes tightly to stop them. He rocked them both again and made hushing noises tot he other man.
"I won't, I can't. If I did I'd be missing half my soul...I love you Remus John Lupin, more then I thought was physically possible. I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, my temper is my flaw. I was a dick, and I'm sorry. Please don't do this, don't blame yourself. You're a better person then I am and I'm sorry. You didn't hurt me." He whispered and continued to make soothing noises.
After a while the sobs stopped and Remus sat up wiping his eyes one last time, "All this crying has really worn me out." He said between yawns, "Let's go to bed." He said and stood shakily extending his hand for Harry. When the Gryffindor took it he helped him up and the two walked hand in hand up the stairs and into their bedroom.
Harry stopped at the foot of the bed as Remus continued to prepare the covers.
"Do you really want me with you?" He asked and wiped the drying tear tracks from his face. It had been one hell of a day and he still felt guilt eating away at him. He wasn't even sure if the other man forgave him.
He turned green eyes to amber and after everything he came to appreciate their color even more so.
Remus shook his head and went over to capture Harry's lips in a passionate kiss, "Harry I always want you with me, and if I could I would have you locked in a room and naked all of the time, but alas we can't live in a dream world can we?"
Harry smiled a small tentive lop sided kind and felt a little better. It seemed Remus was willing to try and make amends and Harry felt his heart lighten.
"You're really ok?" He asked in a small voice and Remus walked over to him and cupped his face in his hands.
"We're ok." He said quietly and Harry stepped into his embrace, wrapping his arms around him tightly and burying his face into the neck.
"I really am sorry, I didn't realize I was being a dick. I thought you would just banter with me like back at Grimmauld Place. Guess I kinda need to catch up back to School huh." He said and squeezed tightly again.
Remus sighed, he didn't want to blame his mate but then again he couldn't lie so he just placed a kiss on the man's ear and yawned rather loudly, "Yeah, that's the signal for bed." He mumbled into Harry's ear.
Harry nodded and let himself be undressed to his trousers and pulled under the covers. He allowed Remus to pull him to his chest and curled up there quietly.
"I love you Moonchild." He whispered into his chest and snuggled in further.
"I love you, Shadow, always."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Written by: Heather Ayers and Callie Mowatt
Thank you to all of our wonderful reviewers! We hope you enjoy!
.:.:.:Jealousy.:.:.:.
Remus looked tiredly down at the 'Dark Curses and Counter curses' book and rubbed his eyes tiredly. His seventh year class was extremely smart, and he was having a hard time finding them challenging things to do. Most of them had been in the DA so there was no point in going back over that stuff, the other half of them were children of Death Eater's so they knew more about dark curses than him!
He looked up at the wizard clock on the fireplace mantle and blearily read 12:00am. Remus closed the book and rested his head against the back of the squashy chair he was in, already feeling the effects of a long day and the coming again of the full moon.
Harry came through the slide wall with a heavy bag of books swinging from his shoulder. He heaved it down and fell unceremoniously at Remus's feet, resting his head back against the other man's knees.
"Trying to become an Auror is hard work man." He muttered and turned to crawl up the man a little and 'flumped' his head onto the other mans chest.
When Remus began to soothingly stroke his hair he let out a relaxed moan and then picked up the book Remus had been reading.
"I've already taught them this." He said with an apologetic wince.
Remus groaned and whacked the book gentle against his forehead, "I know, you have already taught them everything I am. I'm just reading this thing again in hopes that you missed something."
Harry smirked and skimmed the book quickly.
"Nope, me, the ever gorgeous and perfectionist Boy Who Lived," He stopped suddenly and thought for a second, "'Boy' Who Lived. Wonder if they'll still call me that when im 48? Anyways, me the ever brilliant Potter, miss something? I think not my most wonderful Mate."
Remus grinned, "No, when you get 48 they'll call you the Geezer Who Lived, and I'll be Wow What A Prehistoric Body Lupin." Chuckling at himself he turned his amber eyes back to the book and sighed throwing it down on the floor, "Oh well, guess this means more time to myself."
Harry laughed and toyed with Remus's fingers.
"I never taught them about Magical Beasts though," He turned his face to Remus's, "If that helps any." He added with a smile. He continued to idly slip his fingers in-between Remus's and pondered for a while.
"Do you think Dumbledore will let me continue the DA or is that a little redundant My Oh So Well Preserved Wolf."
Remus shrugged, "Why don't you just teach Defense Against the Dark Arts? That's practically what you are doing anyway." He said a little put out that he had nothing to teach, but happy that his mate was helping others in this great way.
"Hagrid's moving over the mountains coming Christmas and we'll be needing a Care of Magical Creatures professor, and you know that I know animals." He said with a grin.
Harry smiled and patted Remus's cheek lovingly.
"As fun as that would be I have to concentrate on my studies. Besides, I only taught about 25 or so people, there's still a lot that need educating. Talking of which, better start my homework." And so he reached for his bag and pulled out horribly long essays which he began with a grimace.
"Ah well, it'll be worth it in the end...If the ministry of course ever give up on their pride and hire the friggin boy who lived." He muttered a little angrily until he spotted the silver band gleaming on his ring finger. It never failed to make him smile.
Remus felt a warmth spread over his body when Harry looked down at the ring and smiled happily. With a happy sigh he moved down into the floor and stretched out close to the fireplace, absorbing the beautiful warmth that spread across his skin.
Harry watched him and felt like doing the same, it was in his cat nature. He let out a purr and muttering a "screw it" he threw his work over his shoulder and curled up against the warm body, pawing slightly and shutting his eyes blissfully, a continuous content purr tentavily leaving his throat as he settled.
The werewolf growled tenderly and wrapped an arm around his mate drawing him closer to his body. Pretty soon the warmth of the fire and the soft breaths of his mate lulled Remus to sleep, and for him there was nothing better than being able to simply enjoy the silence in peace with the man that he loved.
Harry felt Remus's breathing even out and he sat up and opened his slightly bleary eyes. With the firelight highlighting his hair and the relaxed look of sleep on his face Remus looked years younger and Harry stroked his cheek lightly as not to wake him.
Harry briefly remembered back to when he had seen a young Remus in Snape's pensive and the swooping feeling in his stomach when he had spotted him. He'd merely placed it as excitement at the time but he wondered now if some far off part of his brain was telling him of his attraction.
He really didn't want to wake the other man and so with a smile he turned back to his homework.
~~*~~
Remus yawned and shook his head, frowning at his surroundings. He was up in his bed instead of on the floor by the fire. With a faint smile he guessed that Harry had brought him up. ("Thank Merlin he did or my bones would really be cracking this morning!")
The werewolf slipped from his Harry-less bed and put on a pair of frayed but clean robes and set off for the Great Hall, ravenous for some breakfast.
~*~
Harry was already in the Great Hall upon his arrival and was currently sitting talking to a solemn looking Hermione and Ron who seemed to add something every now and again.
"I know it's weird for you Hermione but please, I'm so happy with him but I really don't want to lose you as a friend." Harry said whilst Hermione looked sincerely into his eyes.
"Plus no one will be able to say your a couple all the time now, your love life will flourish now they know for sure your single." Ron added light heartedly and both Harry and Hermione chuckled slightly.
"I know, I'm not breaking up as a friend over this Harry but...I'll get used to it. Maybe it's the whole He's Remus thing. He's like me, a bookworm, and I guess in a way it shocked me that someone who basically follows the same principles would end up doing such a...what's the word, rebellious? Extraordinary? thing." He said and Harry nodded understandably. He kinda could get why that would wig her out.
"Ugh stopping with the depressing talk." She said suddenly with a wave of her hand and smiled at the laughing boys. "Can I see your ring?" She said timidly.
Harry smiled and held out his hand for her and she gasped happily when she saw it. "Oh it's wonderful....What does he mean by 'Shadow' though?" Even Ron looked curiously at him and Harry mock cringed and went into the story of becoming an Animagi for Remus with impressed looks from his two friends.
~*~
Remus watched the Gryffindor trio from the Staff's table and smiled to see the three of them laughing. It had saddened him that Hermione wasn't taking to the relationship well, but he knew that she had a good heart and over time she would come to accept it.
"I trust your rooms are fine?" came the age old voice of Dumbledore.
Lupin looked to the man and smiled, "They're perfect. Took Harry a few minutes to figure out how to get in, but other than that there hasn't been a problem."
Dumbledore smiled with that twinkle alive in his eyes, "I have informed the other teachers of your situation so now they know not to break out into hysterics when they see Harry coming from your quarters."
Remus smiled, "Great, wouldn't want to cause a seen now would we?"
Dumbledore shook his head, "Definitely not!"
"Remus!"
The werewolf's head snapped around to see the smiling face of Vector, the Arithmacy Professor. "Oh, hi Vector."
The man smiled and scooted his chair closer, "So how is my favorite werewolf doing?" the man said elbowing Remus' in the ribs with a laugh causing the man to smile.
~*~
As Harry was talking he could feel eyes burning into the back of his head and so he turned around and saw half of the Staff turn their heads quickly, trying to look innocent. Ron too noticed this as he began cracking up and even Hermione was grinning a little.
"Um, ahe I reckon they know about you mate." Ron managed to chuckle out and Harry smirked widely before turning and waving slyly at them all. Hermione, hiding a smile slapped his hand down.
~*~
Remus about broke out into hysterical laughter when he saw Harry wave at the 'innocent' staff members.
Vector looked at the man, "Ah yes, I heard about you and Mr.. Potter. Quite extraordinary if you ask me."
The werewolf nodded and then tinkling bell sounded, signaling that breakfast was over. There was a rush of students towards the dorr and the Professor walked calmly behind them, shoo-ing the straggliers on ahead.
Harry, Ron and Hermione were all walking to the Gryffindor sixth years first class of Defense against the dark arts. All the students were positively buzzing as they hadn't had a decent class all year bar Harry's defense league.
The loud hum of students piled into the room and as the trio entered Ron winked at Lupin whilst Harry blew him a small kiss accompanied by a wink. Hermione merely rolled her eyes.
The three sat in the middle row and Harry couldn't help but smile when he heard Parvarti whisper to Lavender "Professor Lupin's so cute, do you think he's single?" They giggled and Harry had to kick Ron under the table to stop him laughing. Smirking he leant over to the red head.
"Should I tell them he's an animal in the sack?" He whispered and this time Ron did laugh.
Remus looked around the classroom a little nervously, but cleared his throat, "Good morning class. I would suppose that you all remember me from your third year. Well this year we will be learning how to defend ourselves against even more disgusting beasts." He smiled as though it would be extremely fun, "Since Mr.. Potter has shown all of you a great deal about defending yourselves we will also be trying wandless magic."
Harry waved quite happily as Ron snorted along with the classes chuckles.
"This should be good." Hermione whispered to them as Remus prepared the classroom for practicing, "I hear the power of a wandless spell intensifies with your emotion."
"Is that why I blew up my aunt." Harry said with a smile, "'Cause she was a cow and pissed me off, Call my mum a bitch." He muttered angrily.
While the Gryffindors all looked around in excitement the Slytherins rolled their eyes and Draco Malfoy spoke up, "Professor, I thought that wandless magic is a myth. A wizard's wand is there to help him control the energy flow and to direct the spell/charm."
Remus smiled at Draco, "That's correct, but remember before you received your Hogwarts letter how strange things would happen." The werewolf spared a glance in Harry's direction, "Well that was wandless magic. Now all we are going to do is bring back that magic, those emotions, and help you control them."
"I think it's a great idea," Harry said whilst glaring at the now sneering Malfoy."After all, there maybe times when we are caught un-armed. At least you'd be able to defend yourself."
A murmur of agreement grew around the room and Harry gave Remus a small wink and smile.
"Anyway, you were telling us what we are going to do before Mr. Ego-Trip over here squeaked his dis-pleasure." The Gryffindor's laughed heartily and Harry felt sure he even spotted a few Slytherins hiding their giggles too.
Remus had to fight a laugh, but he gave Harry a stern look, "That'll be five points from Gryffindor Mr.. Potter. Running down a classmate is not an option in this classroom. In the years to come you will all need each other, and creating disunity will not help."
He looked around at the students, "Is that clear?"
Harry rolled his eyes and waved his hand in a very regal manner causing a few more titters. "As crystal Professor." He said with a boyish smirk and Ron was coughing into his hand although it sounded remarkably like a laugh.
Remus seemed to scowl a little and Harry suddenly seemed a little cheeky so he mouthed "Sorry, I love you" behind his hand at Remus and the scowl seemed to disappear.
Harry leant back into his chair and whapped Ron's arm to stop him chuckling with a smile.
The scowl on Remus' face may have disappeared but the anger that welled up inside did not. Mate or no mate, he was going to be respected in the classroom and Harry was going to have to deal with it. "Five more points from Gryffindor for your cheek Mr.. Potter."
The room went silent. The only Gryffindor teacher that actually took points away was McGonagall. A few of the Slytherins sniggered at this and Remus kept his stern look up. He was going to let Harry know that he would not be favored because he shared his bed.
A faint crease formed between Harry's eyebrows. He knew he had done wrong and he'd apologized, so it was unfortunate that the anger he seemed to have developed in fifth year began to surface a little. He removed the frown from his face and in it's place a cold look that was harsh. He mouthed what seemed to be an equally cold "Fine."
"I'm sorry Professor _Lupin_." He said, ice practically dripping from the words, " I'll try to learn my place." It seemed that Shadow within him began to growl at being embarrassed in front of the Slytherins and he could feel the vibrations of it against his chest.
Remus could feel the rise in Harry's emotions and the wolf within him wanted to growl, but he had a class to teach.
The rest of the class period went by in total silence. Remus had given everyone two chapters to read about wandless magic and then an essay about it for homework. When the tinkling bell sounded that class was over Remus spoke, "Mr.. Potter stay after."
Harry really did let out a growl this time and slammed his stuff into his bag, causing Ron and Hermione to wince. They had been on the end of his temper once and muttered that they'd tell McGonagall he'd be late. He nodded savagely and swung his bag over his shoulders.
"Yes Professor? Don't mean to rush you but McGonagall can get rather testy when students walk in late." He said as he reached the teaches desk and kept the coldness in his voice to a maximum.
Remus shook his head, "Harry I can't believe how you acted today! Just because you are my mate doens't mean that I am going to give you special treatment in the classroom! You totally disrespected me today!"
"And I apologized for it, It's not like I was doing it to spite you! I cheek you punish me, give me detention, but don't blame Gryffindor for it!" He said his voice losing the icy quality and now simply sounding angry.
"In the future I'll just keep my mouth shut, How's that? Suit you?" He added and a hard glint came into his viridian gaze.
"Now, Harry, don't get mad at me for doing my job! You know that when you apologized you didn't mean it one wee bit! You were just seeing how many people you could make laugh!" The werewolf growled and crossed his arms over his chest, "I never said I wanted you to keep your mouth shut I just want to be treated like a Professor while we are in the classroom!"
"Apologize to make people laugh?! I apologized behind my hand when no one was looking, oh yes caused a bleeding riot didn't it. I'm sorry but I thought I was just bantering with you, I shan't bother in future. And as for me making people laugh at other's dispense I don't do that, I'm not my father or Sirius!"
He swung the bag over his arm violently and marched out of the room, the crowd waiting to get in jumping out of his way as he marched fuming to Transfigurations. He halted at the door and turned to face the now fiercely scowling man.
"No matter how much you may want me to be!" He added angrily before leaving again.
~*~
Remus sat in the Great Hall chewing his food as normally as he could, but he just couldn't get Harry's words out of his head. He didn't taste what he ate, all he could think about was keeping his tears in his eyes. Was he really trying to make Harry like James .. like Sirius?
Meanwhile Harry had his hands weaved into his hair as he sat at the Gryffindor table. He regretted what he said but knew that it had cut Remus deep. Ron was patting his back sympathetically and Hermione was giving him a tentive look.
"Can't you just apologize to him, say you didn't mean it?" She asked and Harry silently shook his head.
"Why not?" Ron asked as he rubbed the other boys back reassuringly.
"'Cause I hurt him worse than words can fix," He croaked out and slid his hands to rest around his neck, "Why do I always do this?" He muttered angrily and had to fight tears as a glint of silver on his finger caught his eye.
Dumbledore frowned as he looked from Remus to Harry. Definitely something wrong there! He nudged Remus lightly and said, "Is there a rift between you and Harry?"
Remus nodded, "He thinks I am trying to make him be like James and Sirius."
The older man nodded, "Are you?"
The werewolf simply whispered, "I don't know, but if I am how can I ask forgiveness for something I didn't even know that I was doing?"
Dumbledore patted the man on his back, "Just talk to Harry. I'm sure you to can work it out."
Remus sniffled and gritted his teeth to hide his tears as he forced down another bite of meat.
~*~
People were filing out of the Hall but Harry stopped abruptly as he stepped outside the doors. He was shaking slightly with all the emotion but he had to fix this. He knew he'd been cheeky and that he could apologize for but he wasn't quite sure what he was going to do about the Sirius comment.
Right now he didn't care and he stood waiting despite the stares he was getting and waited for his mate to exit the main hall. He whipped furiously at any tears that were building up and stood straight backed ready to face what was to come.
Remus walked slowly from the staff table and made sure that the lagging students were making it out of the Great Hall. He was the last of the Professor's to make it to the doors. He sniffled and wiped a tear as he walked through the doors, Hoping to find Harry at the Lair when he got there.
Harry felt the chivalry wash out of him at the sight of Remus crying and felt a powerful ball of guilt rise in his chest.
("I caused that") He thought and felt the ball move to his throat. He couldn't do this, It wasn't enough to just simply say I'm sorry and so with glassy eyes he made his way to Gryffindor tower rather than the Lair. Ron seemed unperturbed to see a tearful Harry walk into the boys dorm 10 minutes later and simply held out his arms to comfort his mournful best friend.
"Why can't I do anything right?" He sobbed into his shoulder and Ron shushed him whilst rocking him gently.
~*~
When Remus returned to the Lair he found it empty and he felt his heart hit the floor and shatter. He dropped to his knees in front of the fire and simply stared as the tears ran down his cheeks. He had done it again. He had hurt his mate. What kind of man was he? He had vowed to never hurt him, but every time he turned around he was doing it again.
The werewolf lay down in front of the fire and balled up into a fetal position whispering pitifully, "I'm sorry."
~*~
Harry was curled up in the bed that would've been his and sobbed quietly as he stroked the ring on his finger. He heard someone coming towards the bed and curled up even tighter.
"Harry?" An irish voice called and Harry cringed. It was Seamus.
"Harry! Bloody hell why are you crying." He said and Harry felt the bed dip as the other boy sit down.
"Not now Seamus please," He chocked out and pulled the covers over his head but Seamus merely pulled them back down.
"I don't like seeing you like this Harry." He said tentavily and he stroked a hand through Harry's black hair which caused him to sit bolt up right and jerk his head back.
"What are you doing?" He asked frantically and Seamus continued to watch him. Then he looked down.
"Harry....Over the summer I did a lot of thinking and......I'm truly sorry about everything I said last year. But I realized too that....You mean more to me then I thought." He looked up at the wide eyed Harry and whispered, "I really like you, And seeing you like this is killing me." He leant forwards but Harry leant further back and shook his head, causing a few tears to drop.
"I'm sorry Seamus, Your really nice and I know it took a lot for you to tell me that but I'm.....I love somebody else but you made me realize something. If something's worth saying then you've just gotta do it." Seamus looked shattered but Harry took his hand and wiping his tears he smiled at the other boy.
"Don't think I'm not flattered though." He said and even Seamus smiled a little, "I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you want."
Seamus breathed in deeply but smiled despite anything in his heart. "Yeah, me too. She's lucky you know that." He said and Harry smiled. With a squeeze Harry stood from the bed and with a final nod to Seamus he made his way to the Lair.
~*~
"Remus?" He called into the dark room and looked around.
Remus immediately jumped up from the couch where he had finally dragged himself, "Harry." He said and rushed over to his mate, wrapping his arms around him while he whispered that he was sorry and that he never wanted Harry to be like Sirius.
But he stopped suddenly, and stepped back from Harry. Harry didn't smell like his usual apple self, he smelled .. different. "Who have you been with Harry?" Remus asked in a calmly angered voice while Moony growled low within him with protectiveness.
Harry frowned. "With? What do you mean with? I've spoken to Ron and Seamus if that's what you mean?" He berated himself from getting angry or upset. He was here to apologize after all.
"Remus are you ok? Is this about today?" He asked quietly and looked into the darkened Amber gaze.
Remus dismissed Harry's last question and instead thought about Seamus. Of course he had seen the way the boy looked at his mate, everybody could look but he didn't want his smell on _his_ mate. "Where were you with Seamus?" questioned the werewolf.
"Up in the dorms. I was upset so he came over." Harry said slowly and backed away slightly from the werewolf. He hadn't expected this. "Remus are you...Jealous?" He asked and desperately wanted to turn this back to what he had originally come up here to do.
Some part of Remus cringed that his mate was backing away from him but the protective/jealous wolf within would not let it go. What was in the dorms? Beds! Where was Harry and Seamus? In the dorm with the beds! "No I am not jealous." he spat his amber eyes darkening to a rich shade of burgundy.
Harry jumped and turned away from the look in Remus's eyes. He backed himself against the door and prepared himself to turn into Shadow if things got....out of hand.
"Remus, Please," He whispered looking back up, "Nothing happened, I love you, And I'm sorry for today, that's why I came here, It was my fault I shouldn't of said that, Please." He felt tears springing to his eyes and was disgusted with himself for fearing his mate.
Seeing his mate backed-up, cornered, and frightened seemed to bring Remus back to his senses. His eyes cleared to their normal color and he dropped to his knees his face buried in his hands, "I'm sorry, Harry, I have scared you and I promise I would never hurt you it's just ..." and here he quit talking while sobs claimed his tired body.
Harry felt his heart wrench and he reached out his hand slowly to touch the bowed head. He felt the tears slip down his cheeks and he moved forward slowly until he knelt before the weeping man.
He put his arms slowly around Remus and pulled him to him tentavily, crying silently as he rocked back and forth with his sobbing mate.
"You didn't hurt me, you didn't, you're good and kind." He croaked and stroked the velvet hair. "I didn't mean what I said earlier, I just wanted to hurt you. You're the good one Remus, You didn't hurt me, it's the other way around."
Remus put his arms around Harry's waist and clung to his mate while he sobbed. The man's words came out in-between the body-wracking sobs, "I don't care how you act in class, Harry, just as long as you don't leave me." The man sounded as a child who was afraid of losing their best friend.
Harry felt fresh tears fall from his eyes and he closed his eyes tightly to stop them. He rocked them both again and made hushing noises tot he other man.
"I won't, I can't. If I did I'd be missing half my soul...I love you Remus John Lupin, more then I thought was physically possible. I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, my temper is my flaw. I was a dick, and I'm sorry. Please don't do this, don't blame yourself. You're a better person then I am and I'm sorry. You didn't hurt me." He whispered and continued to make soothing noises.
After a while the sobs stopped and Remus sat up wiping his eyes one last time, "All this crying has really worn me out." He said between yawns, "Let's go to bed." He said and stood shakily extending his hand for Harry. When the Gryffindor took it he helped him up and the two walked hand in hand up the stairs and into their bedroom.
Harry stopped at the foot of the bed as Remus continued to prepare the covers.
"Do you really want me with you?" He asked and wiped the drying tear tracks from his face. It had been one hell of a day and he still felt guilt eating away at him. He wasn't even sure if the other man forgave him.
He turned green eyes to amber and after everything he came to appreciate their color even more so.
Remus shook his head and went over to capture Harry's lips in a passionate kiss, "Harry I always want you with me, and if I could I would have you locked in a room and naked all of the time, but alas we can't live in a dream world can we?"
Harry smiled a small tentive lop sided kind and felt a little better. It seemed Remus was willing to try and make amends and Harry felt his heart lighten.
"You're really ok?" He asked in a small voice and Remus walked over to him and cupped his face in his hands.
"We're ok." He said quietly and Harry stepped into his embrace, wrapping his arms around him tightly and burying his face into the neck.
"I really am sorry, I didn't realize I was being a dick. I thought you would just banter with me like back at Grimmauld Place. Guess I kinda need to catch up back to School huh." He said and squeezed tightly again.
Remus sighed, he didn't want to blame his mate but then again he couldn't lie so he just placed a kiss on the man's ear and yawned rather loudly, "Yeah, that's the signal for bed." He mumbled into Harry's ear.
Harry nodded and let himself be undressed to his trousers and pulled under the covers. He allowed Remus to pull him to his chest and curled up there quietly.
"I love you Moonchild." He whispered into his chest and snuggled in further.
"I love you, Shadow, always."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Written by: Heather Ayers and Callie Mowatt