Author's Notes: Ok, well I do not own Rugrats, only Nick does. (A Guy Named Nick: Woo hoo! I do? Me: No, not you, idiot. The television channel!) This story is about what happens when the group enters high school and they've had to grow apart. In Lil's case, she's turned into another Angelica! Ok, now please read and review!
Splintered Reflections
By Heather [TinySweetHeart]
--
Chapter Four: This Bitter Pill"This medicine is just what you
deserve.
Swallow, choke, and die.
And this bitter pill is leaving you
with such an angry mouth."
-- "This Bitter Pill" -- Dashboard Confessional
--
Chuckie and Tommy sat in the cafeteria, eating their sandwiches as other students swirled around them. Chuckie looked over at Tommy and smiled, revealing his metallic brackets. "Hey, guess what? I'm getting my braces off in a month! Isn't that awesome? I finally talked my dad into getting me those clear ones you can't even tell someone's wearing. So yea, the ladies should be lining up any day now," he said excitedly. He was wearing a dark green shirt and khakis.
Tommy glanced over at him and grinned. "You're starting to sound like Phil," he replied. Tommy was dressed in jeans and a gray hoodie sweatshirt, having not felt like really dressing up that much this morning.
Chuckie blanched and his eyebrows rose nervously. "Don't say that, that's scary. Besides I was joking. With or without my braces, I'm still Freckles Finister," he resigned with a sigh.
His friend shot him a weary glance and responded, "That's not true, man. You try what I told you to do? You know, tell Angelica off?"
Chuckie shook his chaotic scarlet hair and admitted, "Haven't had a chance yet. Well that's not true, in the hallway she yelled out, "Red headed freak". But I uh, just walked away."
Tommy met his stare and instructed, "Chuck, pal, you have to listen to me, ok. Girls like Angelica only know one way of communicating – insults. You really need to just start sticking up for yourself; I think she'd notice you then. In a good way."
Chuckie shrugged and sighed, "Ok, well, I'll try. But she's scary."
Tommy cracked a lopsided smile and agreed, "You're telling me."
Just then Phil plopped his tray down next to Chuckie and slid into his seat. "I'm starving, I think I'm gonna have to go up for seconds," he said as a way of greetings.
Tommy laughed and shook his head. "You always do anyway, Phil. The lunch ladies hate you," he replied.
Phil started digging into his food and commenting through mouthfuls, "That's just because they aren't use to someone telling them their hairnets are sexy. But hey, I like what I like ok. Don't judge me."
Tommy suppressed another laugh and tried to sound serious when he said, "Man, you are gonna get in trouble for harassing people all the time."
The dark hair boy wearing khakis and a black shirt rolled his eyes. "You sound just like Kimmi. Speaking of the feisty midget, where is she? She wasn't in homeroom or anything. She sick?" he questioned, trying not to sound too interested.
Chuckie blinked at him and said, "You didn't hear?"
Phil knitted his eyebrows together and responded, "No. What?"
The boy told him, "Kimmi was suspended for the day."
Phil's eyes swelled wide with shock. "What! Why!" he cried.
Chuckie shrugged and replied, "For beating the crap outta some guy yesterday, Izaac Pomelin. He was bruised up pretty bad. The only reason they didn't suspend her for longer was because I guess she had a good explanation."
Phil's face darkened in anger and he narrowed his eyes, thumping a fist against the table. "That punk! I know him from the basketball team, he deserves everything he gets. Did she say what happened?" he went on to ask.
Chuckie shook his head and said, "No, she wouldn't tell me. She locked herself in her room; my parents are grounding her anyway. Put it this way, if she ever sees the light of day again that will be too soon for them. They really flipped out on her."
Tommy cringed and sighed, "That's tough. Poor Kimmi."
Phil nodded his head feverishly and was still clenching his jaw. "I know. I'm gonna make Izaac pay even more during basketball practice. He'll come to hate me," he sneered.
Tommy was looking at his two friends when he saw between their heads, the door to the cafeteria swing open and a trickle of girls pour in, all giggling. A little to the back walked in Lillian, sauntering beside Angelica and smiling. She had the most beautiful smile. O God, stop it. Stop it! Because you're supposed to be worried about Kimmi, not some girl who won't even give you the time of day. Still, he couldn't stop himself from watching her, he felt like the seconds were dragging by in slow slipping moments. Lillian breezed in, light brown hair collapsing down her shoulders, dressed in a black skirt and a white long sleeved shirt. There was that smile and then, it happened. She looked at him and her warm moss eyes clashed into his and they just stared. She was moving and all the girls were not noticing, but she was staring at him and the white petal smile wavered slightly and faltered breathlessly. Then she blinked, once, twice, and turned her head to say something to Angelica and the moment was gone.
"What the Hell was that, man!"
Tommy darted his gaze back to his friends, catching his breath. "Huh? Wha?" he questioned, winded.
Phil was staring at him with hard, inquiring eyes and replied, "You got all like quiet and weird..." He turned his head to look behind him and see the gaggle of girls trailing in. Phil turned back to look at Tommy and smirk. "O well, figures. It's my sister. If I didn't know any better I'd think you had the hots for her," he said knowingly.
Tommy swiped away the dazed glass from his eyes with his eyelids and hurriedly retorted, "Are you joking? You saw what she did to me! Like I'd actually like her anyway, she's just as bad as my cousin."
Phil shook his head dejectedly and snorted, "Say what you want but you and Chuck-a-roo over here are pathetic. Turning to mush over girls who aren't even worth it."
Chuckie glanced over at him and smiled slightly. "As opposed to what? My sister who is totally worth it?" he scoffed in return.
Phil glowered at him and exclaimed huffily, "Shut it, Finister! I don't like your sister. Get it? N-O."
Chuckie just laughed and then looked to Tommy, raising his eyebrows. "Riiight. The young man doth protest too much, I think," he replied teasingly.
The brown haired boy glared at both of them in turn before snapping, "Ok, what does that mean? I don't care. Let's talk about something else already besides girls. Sports. Yea, sports." They each began an empty forced conversation about football, basketball, and in Chuckie's case, golf. All the while each pretending they would never think about her.
--
Lillian felt like she couldn't breath. What had just happened? She'd been walking into the cafeteria, talking amongst her friends. And then she saw him and the whole world seemed to pause on its axis. Him, with his mused black hair and dark onyx eyes and warm adorable smile. God, why did he have to be so cute? Why did she even care! He was just there and she should be able to ignore him. Only when her eyes were flickering to his, it felt impossible. Because when he stared at her and she saw flecks of wanting and happiness in his eyes and the torn air rose in her throat, it all just felt right.
"Ew! What was that?"
Lillian blinked and turned her head around, dazed. Angelica was glaring at her and crinkling her nose. "Huh? What was what?" Lillian answered innocently. Just deny it, deny how good that felt and no one will have to know but you.
Angelica was digging her eyes into her as she snipped, "You know! That totally lovesick gaze you just gave him. O my God, you like him! You like..." She grabbed her lower arm and made her pause behind so the others would walk off and not hear. "My cousin," she finished in a whisper, her eyes wide with horror. She was dressed in a dark jean skirt and a jean jacket over a blue tank top, her flaxen hair straightened now and tumbling down her back.
Lillian's eyebrows shot up and she shook her head hastily. "What! You're crazy, Angelica. We're not even friends, the only reason we were even talking yesterday was because I was stuck in the backseat with him," she responded coldly.
Angelica seemed a little satisfied by that but still crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her hard. "And you're going over his house today after school. Sounds like a date to me," she replied, tapping her foot.
Lillian just rolled her eyes and sighed, smiling slightly. "Shut up, it is not! Its called studying, Angelica. I'm just going to help him out. We owe them that much after they drove us home and basically rescued us when we were stranded," she reasoned.
"Yea, so, I'll buy them a fruit basket or something," Angelica snorted back. Then she pursed her lips and added, "I still don't see why we have to let them drive us home again today when we have so many of our less socially challenged friends who are able to drive us. Not to mention Brett..."
Lillian gave her a pleading look and replied, "I know but please, Angelica. I have to go to Tommy's house so we might as well. Just don't tell Brett."
Angelica sighed and unfolded her arms, huffing, "Fine, I won't. Just don't make it a habit. We wouldn't want this getting out in the open now would we?" She was staring at her with calculating tidal eyes and Lillian knew what that meant, if Angelica ever found out she was hanging with Tommy or the others again she'd spread it around to all their friends.
Lillian nodded and responded softly, "No, you're right. This will be the last time."
Angelica smiled and said, "Good. Now come on, our seats are waiting." Then she swiveled around on her heels and waltzed over to their table, Lillian following.
As they took their seats, Lillian slid down near a blonde haired boy. He was tall and lanky, pretty built. He wasn't a Senior, he was just a Junior, but he was such a good football player and almost every girl thought he was gorgeous so he already was pretty much the most popular guy in school. He glanced over to her as she sat down and smiled. "Hey, babe. How was your day?" he questioned.
Lillian shrugged and crossed her legs. "Ok. Boring, I guess. Yours?" she responded.
He replied, "Fine." Then he grinned at her again before turning his head and continuing to talk with his buddy about football.
Lillian sat there, running a hand through her hair and staring off. Angelica was busy chatting up a boy near her and giggling at every stupid thing he said. Lillian wondered how much fun she could be having right now, if she was back with her old friends, if she was sitting at that table and across from Tommy and he was smiling at her. Instead of sitting here with Brett's arm over her chair and feeling so... alone, like none of these people even really knew her.
--
After Chuckie dropped Lillian and Tommy off at Tommy's house, he started towards Angelica's house. The afternoon was skimming with white sunlight and the streets stretched out in front of them. Chuckie was in a good mood and he smiled as he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel to some radio beat. Looking over at Angelica, sitting stiffly by him, he began to ask, "So how was school -"
The blonde stared ahead, glaring, and cut coldly, "Look, I thought we already established this. You, don't talk to me. Like, ever."
Chuckie felt his good mood shrinking and the smile flatten into a line. What was her problem anyway?
Angelica looked out ahead for another few minutes before leaning over to grab the dial and switch it from this God-awful rock music.
"Don't touch that," Chuckie suddenly said and Angelica paused to look up at him, her eyebrow raised.
Still frowning at him, she questioned, "What?"
Chuckie took in a deep breath and steeled himself. Do what Tommy said, grow a backbone. "I said, don't touch that. Do you suddenly have a problem hearing?" he snapped. Wow, did that feel good! A little too good, he felt a tinge of satisfaction leaking in him.
The scowl increased and she crossed her arms over her cheerleading uniform. "Excuse me, Finister!" she spat, fully looking at him now with a death glare.
He didn't know what was coming over him but it was a rush. Suddenly he'd let some of his anger out and it was flooding now, too overwhelming to even filter what he was saying. "Again, did I mispronounce anything? Because I'm pretty sure I didn't. And another thing, besides what you might think, I was only trying to be polite and start a conversation with you while you were in my car, getting a ride from me. I am not trying to talk to you because I worship you or think you're the most beautiful creature on the face of the planet. If you want to know the truth, I think you're the most self-absorbed, stuck up, whiny, bitchy girl I've known. Ever," Chuckie shot back. Holy God, did he just say all that?
Angelica apparently was having the same thought because she pressed her back into the chair, blinking dumbly. Her lips parted open to gasp and she said in shock, "O. My. God. That did not just happen."
Chuckie smiled thinly at her and responded, "I believe it did. You might want to close your mouth; you look like a real idiot. Wouldn't want any of your friends seeing you like that now would we?" Wow, once he started he just couldn't stop. It was just such a relief to finally let her know what he really thought about her.
She was staring at him, bewildered, when he drove up her driveway. Chuckie parked and watched her as she opened her door numbly and stepped out on the asphalt. Holding the door open, she narrowed her eyes at him and tried to retort something back, "You... You... You..." Ok, so she wasn't that use to people actually talking back to her and it had knocked her for a loop.
Chuckie grinned and replied, "Close the door, I'm feeling a draft." She scowled then at this and growled before slamming the door hard. He watched her stomp up to her door, grumbling under her breath. Chuckie just chuckled to himself and wondered why he'd never tried that before.
Angelica climbed her stairs to her fuchsia bedroom and tossed down her pom poms, toppling onto her canopy bed. Lying on her stomach, she gripped the pillow in a rage and strangled it. Now if only this was Chuckie's head. Ok, wait, why was she getting all upset over him? He was a loser, a nobody, a Sophmore! Turning over and smoothing out her pin straight hair, she stared up at her canopy top pattern. What was the matter with her? Who cared what a silly nerd thought about her? She knew the answer – she did. Because as hard as she tried to pretend, there was a reason she had slipped into that passenger's seat the other day and practically forced Tommy out, and it wasn't just the extra legroom. She'd always known Chuckie could have some guts, if he just tried. And then, BAM, he just had and completely torn her a new one. And now she was reeling and collapsing, as much as she tried to act like she wasn't. Because there was something about Chuckie Finister that just got under her skin, where no other boy had.
--
Kimmi swung the door open, stepping onto her porch. The afternoon was melted with a setting sun like puddles of crayons, oranges and reds all smeared on the horizon. She was wearing longer jean shorts and a white tee shirt, her hair down. When she saw Phil there she smiled awkwardly and said, "Hey."
Phil looked down, feeling nervous. Nervous? He was Phil DeVille, he had never been nervous in his life! Still the reason he had run over here after supper slipped his mind and he responded simply, "Hey." Again, a one-word reply? Ok, he wasn't like himself for some reason.
Kimmi ran her hand up her arm and smiled slightly. "So what you do so my parents would let me out of the house? Beg? Bribe?" she laughed.
Phil glanced over, resuming his cockiness, and arced an eyebrow. "Told them if you tried to attack me I could defend myself better then Isaac did," he replied.
The girl rolled her eyes and said flatly, "Funny. Hilarious even."
Phil smiled back now and shrugged. "No, really, I just said I needed to talk to you. Your parents love me," he responded.
Kimmi shot him a look and snorted, "I know, they're insane."
Phil just chuckled and said back, "Now I am happy you were only suspended for a day or else I'd have to go without that sparkling wit. So what happen? For you to practically kill Izaac, I mean?"
God, this was so embarrassing! She really wished their school wasn't so small so that gossip wouldn't carry quite as fast. She darted her eyes around to not meet his. "Look, I don't really wanna talk about it. Let's play basketball alright," she offered. Then she headed over to the court by her driveway, snatching up a ball.
Phil followed, calling, "Fine but if I win you gotta tell me what happened."
Kimmi dribbled the ball a few times in place. "And if I win?" she questioned.
Phil grinned and replied, "I'll make out with you."
Kimmi laughed and then shook her head. "How about I just don't have to tell you?" she countered.
The boy nodded and said, "That works too."
Then they started to play, pretty much an even match. Even if Kimmi was a girl, and therefore in Phil's mind less athletic, she was the best on her all girl's team. Phil was pretty much the best on his team as well, so when they played they usually ended up tied to the last basket, with Tommy left somewhere behind in the dust, because Tommy was a football guy and not very good at basketball. Soon the light was dying against the skyline, outlining them in blue and black.
Kimmi shot and scored the final and winning basket. She leapt in the air and swung a fist up. "I won, I won! I am the queen of the world!" she whooped.
Phil was panting, his arms bent at his sides. "I let you win," he retorted.
Kimmi rolled her eyes and quipped, "You always say that." She was trying to catch her breath too and sat down on the basketball, keeping it in place with her feet.
"And it's always true," he shot back with a smirk.
Kimmi grinned up at him smugly and scoffed, "Shut up and admit a girl can wipe the floor with you already."
Phil slid down onto his butt; his legs sprawled out and bent in front of him, his hands resting on his knees. "Fine, you win. You are the queen of the world. You happy now?" he sighed, rolling his eyes.
Kimmi smiled and responded, "Very. You hungry or something? My parents could order us pizza."
The boy just shook his head and replied, "No I'm fine. Besides, you think that's wise asking for food after the stunt you pulled in school? Only bread and water for you, missy. And it's dirty water, and its all crusts."
Kimmi stifled a laugh and raised her hand exaggeratingly into the air. "You creeps!" she joked. Then the smile slid from her face, as she looked off, at the darkening sky heavy with the vague shape of a yellow moon. There was a fluid silence surrounding them before Kimmi started, her voice soft, "You know what happened? I saw Izaac in the hall and I went up and told him I'm no Mary and he can go shove it. Well he said, "You are. All you do is play sports and hang with guys all day, I'm pretty sure you're just a boy with longer hair. You get straight A's so I'm pretty sure you don't have a life either. And then there's the way you act like you're so pure when you're just a prude. I mean, you've probably never even kissed a boy before. Have you? Have you?" And then he said something about wanting to show me how it was done or something, but I had it by then and I just... I just punched him so hard in the face his nose starting bleeding and he started crying."
Phil could feel the anger in him surfacing and he grinned spitefully. "You made him cry? That's my girl," he replied.
Then she was looking up at him with her wide chocolate eyes and her face looked regretful and sad. "But, its true isn't it, Phil? I am. I mean, look at me. All I ever do is play sports or work on my homework. It's like, I'm a boy! I mean, I never go to the mall or paint my nails or do anything girly," she admitted.
Phil didn't know what was going on, this wasn't like the Kimmi he knew. The Kimmi he knew was quietly self-assured and always right and never let what others' thought affect her. For some reason, he could tell this was different; this was something she'd been thinking about for a while, even before stupid Izaac had made his dumb comment. "Hey, I like you the way you are! At least you're no airhead," he responded protectively, his eyebrows knitted.
She smiled bitterly and breathed, "Nope, not that. Never. I'm the tough firecracker with the funny comments and always up for a game of b-ball. I'm the girl every boy wants for a friend and just a friend."
Phil was searching her face now, looking confused. "What's so bad about that?" he questioned in his raspy voice.
When Kimmi gazed over at him he couldn't believe he saw her tearing up, her eyes flickering like glass. When she spoke again, she didn't think she should be saying it, she was letting out too much, but she just couldn't make herself care anymore. Kimmi shouted, "Because I want it! I want what the airheads have, what every other girl except me has! I want the longing glances and the walking on the beach and the holding hands and the kisses! I've never even been kissed, Phil! Ever. I've never been kissed -"
And then, just like that, Phil kissed her. Before she even realized it or had a chance to react, his lips were pressed to hers and the air was incited with little electric currents like hot wires. Kimmi stared ahead, surprised, and then her eyelashes slid closed and she just kissed back. He was leaning over now and his hands rested on her bare knees and her arms ran nervously up to his shoulders. She didn't know what to do and then, it didn't matter, because everything just felt natural. Like his nose and his lips were made to fit hers, and her thoughts and doubts all stopped slurring in her brain.
Phil's lips parted from hers and he sat back, staring ahead. He was breathing heavy and his eyes were wide now. "I uh, gotta go," he spluttered quickly and then shot up, taking off in a run towards his house down the block.
Kimmi sat on the basketball, staring ahead, pressing her lips together. There was everything swimming in her dazed head, shock and wonderment and... a warmness she'd never felt before. Phil was Phil, yes, and they were just friends. But she knew after today, she'd never be able to believe that again.
--
The light in Tommy's room was still glowing, the night sky collapsing outside. Lillian was sitting at a chair by his desk, looking over a textbook and facing him. She was still dressed in a black skirt and a long sleeved white shirt, her hair falling over her shoulders. "Ok, we just have one more group of formulas to go over so I'll write you up some flash cards ok," she said business-like and then looked up from the book at him.
Tommy was sitting on the edge of his bed, crumpling paper into balls to shoot at his wastebasket. He was wearing jeans and a dark blue shirt. "We've been studying for hours! Isn't it time for you to leave yet?" he said sarcastically and missed a shot. It wasn't like he didn't want to spend time with Lillian, of course he did and honestly probably more then he should have. It was just that they'd been at this for a long time now and really had only been talking about Chemistry until his brain felt like mush in his head.
Lillian rolled her eyes and smiled slightly. "Well, gee, thanks for enjoying my company. And studying for hours is a good thing, at least we'll be sure you get a good grade on this test," she retorted.
Tommy gave up trying to sink paper baskets and lay back on his bed, his hands under his head. He sighed grudgingly, "Good grades are overrated."
The girl gave him an understanding but stern stare and responded sharply, "Tommy."
Tommy nodded his dark hair, admitting, "Ok, you're right. And while you're doing that I'll just rest a little bit." Then he closed his eyes, football practice always made him feel tired. He usually went to bed at 8:00 during game season, which was embarrassing to admit, and it was already 8:15.
Lillian still stared at him and couldn't help but grin. Her lips parted when she exclaimed, "You're going to sleep!"
With his eyes still closed and a smile spreading on his face, he remarked, "No I'm not."
The girl laughed and shouted, "Your eyes are closed!"
Tommy remained with his eyes pressed shut. "I study better that way," he responded, knowing he was mocking her now. And so what? Maybe he wanted Ms. Perfect to drop the Chemistry for a while and act human, like she had those days ago at Phil's house. Even if it was just in private and tomorrow he'd be invisible to her again, when she sauntered around with her airhead friends.
While he was waiting for a reaction, a pillow suddenly collided with a thud against his head. Tommy's eyes snapped open now with shock and he looked over at Lillian, who was smiling innocently. "Uh oh. You sure you wanna do that? Because then I won't be responsible for my actions -" he began to warn, propped half up on his elbow.
Lillian merely smirked deviously and throttled another pillow from the chair at him, hard. He managed to catch it and raise an eyebrow, grinning. "You did it now! It's on!" he exclaimed and tossed it back at her. It pegged her in the chest gently and she gasped with laughter before snatching up another pillow and hurling it at him. Tommy shifted his head and dodged the flying pillow. Wow, he'd never even realized he had this many pillows in his room before.
Then when he looked over again, she was approaching, the last pillow held in her grasp, brandishing it like a weapon. "Ha! You should be afraid now!" she chortled with a wicked smile.
Tommy snickered teasingly, "O no, it's a twenty pound stick with arms. I'm so scared."
Her face flashed with mock indignant and she cried, "You're so dead, mister!" Raising the pillow over her head, she was laughing when his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her down on him. Lillian fell on him with a gasp of laughter and he used his other hand to hold her wrists over her head, the pillow slipping from her grip. Her bare legs tangled up in his and he could feel her breathing.
"Unfair! Illegal move!" she proclaimed, her face just inches from his now, her eyelashes almost brushing his skin.
Tommy was smiling up at her now and he responded, "We'll have to consult the rulebooks on that one. Oh look, its allowed and I win. Woo."
Lillian just rolled her eyes and huffed jokingly, "Man, if you play on the field the same way you fight then you really are right, you must suck."
The boy smirked and retorted, "Funny, funny lady."
Lillian's eyes dragged over his face and suddenly the air caught around them with silence. The smiles grew fuzzy and vague until they couldn't even pretend everything was normal. It was like they were both realizing the closeness of each other's skin, the shared breathes between them. Her sandy brown hair spilled over his chest and he was unable to stop staring, letting her wrists slip from his grasp. The girl flushed slightly and pulled her hands down to rest on either side of his head. For some reason, she couldn't bring herself to move. There was something in his eyes, frayed ends of something she could connect with. And his lips, they were so close now she could almost feel them already, glossing over hers. She wanted to so bad, just feel him under her and a sensation of warmth that she knew would creep under her skin. She blinked and then her rational thoughts were too throbbing in her skull and she rolled off him.
Sitting up, Lillian began frantically tucking hair behind her ears and forcing on a strained smile. "Ok, so no flash cards then. Let's just study from the book, ok," she rasped.
Tommy's eyes followed hers and he rose up to sit by her. He dropped his gaze from her, replying, "Ok." Then she got up to grab the textbook and he suddenly thought of something. "Do your friends know you're here?" he questioned abruptly.
Lillian walked back over with the book and laughed a little to avoid the question. "That has nothing to do with Chemistry," she objected.
Tommy was now staring at her intently, knowingly, and replied, "Ok. Then according to the nuclear formula for a compound, do your friends know you're here?"
She sat by him and started flipping through the pages absently. "No. Its not like this is any of their business -" she tried to reason, even when she knew he knew the real reason just as well as she did.
She could still feel his eyes on her, pained and regretful. "Oh. I see," he said as evenly as he could. Then he looked to the book and continued, "Well let's study."
Lillian stared at him and finally sighed, "Tommy, please, stop looking at me like I ran over your puppy ok." God, why'd he have to do that? Always try to make her feel bad for who she was and what she did? It wasn't her fault, ok, it wasn't!
His eyes flared up at her and he responded, a little too quickly and harsh, "I'm sorry but I wasn't looking at you in any other way then normal. Maybe it's your guilty conscious, telling you how much you screwed me over. Us over. Because we all use to be friends and now you're too good to hang out with us." He didn't think he'd say any of this; he just wanted to study and then get her out of his house. Well, that wasn't true, but still, he thought he could try and not care anymore. It wasn't like he was crushed or anything because she didn't want to be his friend... No, if he really wanted to be honest, he was crushed because she didn't feel for him the way he felt for her.
Lillian looked adamant as she denied, "That's not true! I never said that -"
Tommy responded, "You don't need to, Lil." Then he shook his head, throwing his hands up. "I mean Lillian! God! Because ignoring us is enough, we get the hint ok! You have new better friends now; you don't need to hang with us. Just stop trying to act like nothings changed when everything has," he scoffed angrily.
Lillian could feel the need to defend herself and her voice rose when she snapped, "Well what about you guys huh? Did any of you call me over the summer, just to ask what was going on? No! And I'm not the bad guy here! I'm not. Just because I want to make new friends and expand socially. Maybe you all should too and stop trying to act like you're so superior to me because you don't care about the same things I do. Because fine, I care about popularity and pleasing people and how I look and what I wear and every other thing you think is so stupid! But that doesn't make me a bad person! And I..." Her voice trailed off under a deep breath and she closed her eyes, trying to gather herself. "This was a bad idea. I need to go," she finished, regaining the Ms. Perfect veneer she always wore so well.
Tommy glared at her and responded coldly, "Yea, I think you do too."
Lillian scowled and stood, tossing the book on his bed. "Fine, bye. Good luck on your test," she replied equally as detached. Then she strode out the door and he could hear her making her way along the hall and out of his house.
The sky was too dark now, too floating and isolating. The moon was a thread of silver splitting the black open. As Lillian stormed down the road, briskly walking home, she couldn't help but typhoon with thoughts. Who did he think he was? Who did they think they were? She didn't need a guilt trip, everyone else could become popular so why was it not ok for her? Because she didn't want to be held up to their high standards anymore, like they expected better of her or something. Because maybe she was just one of those girls they hated and maybe they needed to get over it already. So what if all she cared about was stupid stuff they thought was trivial, then maybe they should stop giving her their looks of betrayal and just move on already. But as she sucked in the cool fingers of frost, there was something lurching in her. A dull pain that told her what she knew, that maybe she really didn't care about that stuff and she was just going along with it to please her new crowd. That maybe no one would ever know her better then her old friends and she had betrayed them. That maybe she was the one who just couldn't move on because there was a part of her that didn't want to.
When she brushed up her fingers to push away her hair, she could feel a slick wet on her fingertips and didn't understand why.
--
Closing Notes: Ok well, new changes a plenty! Chuckie finally stood up to Angelica. Wee, go you! Let's see if that has any affect on how she treats him from now on. Phil kissed Kimmi and then ran away. Will this mess with their friendship? Will they just deny it? And Tommy told Lillian off and visa versa. There is something clearly going on between them but they just can't admit it because of their current situation and hostility towards one another. What's going on with Lillian? Its like she has one foot in with Angelica and those friends and another foot with her old friends, like she's trying to be popular but still can't let her old friends go. What will happen next? Only time will tell! Please review, you make my day!