.:.Chapter Nine.:.
Thank you to all of our wondeful reviewers! This story would be here without you! Also note that we also writer under the penname 'Cardinal' so please find more of our writings there!
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Prince of Cats
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Shadow curled up tighter as mournful keening sounds came from his throat. He pawed in distress at the ground and let out a pained growl that echoed off the walls.
Harry felt like he was dying inside and he scrunched up his cat features as though wounded. He felt all energy leave him and he collapsed just outside Dumbledore's office and wept the best a cat could.
Dumbledore roused from his sleep, his long night cap partly twisted around his neck. Something wasn't right. He put on a pair of long blue robes and left the office gasping when he found Shadow lying on the floor. He knew Harry's animagus form and it stunned him to see him like this.
The old man picked up the pitiful creature and carried him up into his round office, Lying him gently by the roaring fire. Dumbledore muttered a spell and the black panther morphed into the teenager that Dumbledore knew so well. "Enervate."
When Harry's eyes opened Dumbledore smiled slightly, "Harry what is wrong? Why were you outside my office in your animagus form?"
Harry looked up at the kindly old man and found tears made their way down his cheeks again. "He wouldn't listen." He sobbed and clutched at the man when Dumbledore took him into his arms.
Harry then went into a tearful explanation about Seamus kissing him and Remus turning away, not believing his love anymore.
"I don't know how to show him, I tried but I don't think it was enough." Sobbing harder and a painful mewl escaped with it, "I don't want to lose him, I don't I don't..." He began to mutter it over and clenched his eyes shut.
Dumbledore didn't know when he had felt so much sadness fill his heart. The time he ran out of lemon drops or now at the sobbing Harry. He was pretty sure the latter won out, and he calmly stroked the sobbing teen's back, "Shhh .. Harry. Remus told you before the two of you made the mate thing official that he would at times be extremely protective, and at times he wouldn't want to leave your side. This is one of those times. The protective part of him came out and was hurt, and then he did what he does best .. he hid."
The man sighed, "When Sirius died Remus withdrew into himself, as it was his only defense from the pain of loss. Inside this oblivion he knows no pain, and he can't be hurt .. he's just alone. That is when I arranged for you to be taken to Grimmauld Place .. he needed someone to share the pain with, and he did. Now he is re-burying himself, so to speak."
"But he hasn't lost me, I don't know what to do..." Harry said panic stricken, "How do I prove to him I love him? I'll do anything, die if I have to. I can't live without him Dumbledore I just can't. Even if they reversed the mating bond I'd still only be half of who I was. I love him." He felt himself begin to shake but this time he fought off any tears.
"How do I bring him back?"
"Truthfully, Harry, I don't know, and he may never come out of the oblivion." The ancient wizard sighed, frustrated that he had a problem he couldn't solve, "The only thing that I think could bring him back is true love, my boy, and I believe yours is that. Give him time and I think he will return."
Harry looked at the man pitifully and then just gazed blankly in front of him. "It's almost Full Moon." He said quietly, a solitary tear slipping out off his eye, "I feel like where my heart should be theres just a black space."
He growled suddenly and pulled back to wipe harshly at his face. "Why did Seamus do that! I told him I loved someone else." The anger died again just as quickly as it had come and he pulled his knees to his chest and curled his arms around them.
"I want to return to the Lair because I don't feel safe anywhere else." He said quietly.
Dumbledore's blue eyes were filled with agony as he looked at at the boy that was so like a grandchild to him. "A werewolf can never physically harm their mate on purpose, so you would technically be safe in the Lair, but I don't know how Remus is doing." he sighed, "I think that you should go to the Gryffindor Tower .. Ron and Hermione will take care of you for the night, and I will go talk to Remus."
The old man patted Harry softly on the back, "I'm sorry."
Harry nodded solemnly and on a spur of the moment hugged the old man. "Thank you anyway." He said equally as quiet and stood on shaky legs before deciding it would be easier on four. He looked at Dumbledore as though to ask permission and when the man nodded he changed back into Shadow and ran to Gryffindor Tower.
Once inside he looked briefly up at the boys dorm but couldn't bear being in the same room as Seamus and so he looked at the girls. Males couldn't get up there.....But then again Crookshanks was a male _cat_ so.......
Harry placed one paw upon the stairs and when he got halfway without the stairs changing he sprinted the rest, tears coming back to him now and nudged open the girls dorm door, finding Hermione's bed. Nudging his nose against her hand she woke up with a start and before she yelled Harry changed back into his normal body, tears streaming down his face. She looked at him briefly before pulling him onto the bed and held him as he wept, no words exchanged.
Hermione pulled her best friend up onto her bed and drew the hangings around them, casting a silence spell to keep away anybody that was lying awake. "What is it Harry? What's happened, and why aren't you at the Lair?" she said while trying to wipe her friend's tears.
Harry took a few moments to compose himself before recalling the tale for her. He sighed shakily after he had and leant his head against her shoulder.
"You didn't see the hurt in his eyes Hermione.....I could've killed Seamus right there but.....Oh god I want to be in his arms, have today be just another day. Why does it always go wrong?"
Hermione kissed her friend's forehead in a motherly way, "When Remus cools off I'm sure he'll come talk to you." she said soothingly, "When I found out that you were his mate I grabbed some books from the library about it and really Remus can't help his protectiveness. The part of Remus that made you leave tonight was that protectiveness, and the other part of him was hurt and did nothing to stop it."
She smiled, "Don't worry he'll be alright in a while, you just sleep."
Harry nodded and offered her a small grateful smile. At least that explained things a little but it still hurt inside. "Ok." He said quietly and deciding that he didn't want rumors flying around about him in the girls dorms he turned back into Shadow who then curled up at the foot of Hermione's bed.
He felt the girl nod back off a little while later but he himself settled for resting his head on his front paws and gazed longingly at the moon outside, not quite full but brighter then any star.
("Love you Moony, I'm just another animal without you here.") Shadow purred and wished upon hope that in some form or other his wolf mate would hear his silent pledge.
~*~
Remus woke from his place on the floor when he felt a gut wrenching tug in his stomach. His eyes widened as he frantically crawled to the bathroom and deposited his stomach to the merciless white toilet. He sighed running a hand through his hair. The Full Moon would be this night .. thankfully he wouldn't have to teach classes, but he would miss Shadow ... ("No better not to think about that.") he said, trying to bury the image of the beautiful black panther from his mind.
With a blank expression in his large amber eyes he dressed in comfortable robes and took a seat by the fireplace, loving the feeling of warmth that washed over his slightly trembling body.
"Ah Remus, I thought that I would find you here." said a wizened voice, causing the werewolf to jump from his chair, "Oh, Albus, I didn't hear you come in."
Dumbledore smiled at his former student and took a seat on the couch looking at him with concern in his old blue eyes. "Remus what are you doing to yourself?"
Remus frowned, "I don't know what you mean."
"I think you do. When Sirius -"
"Don't talk about him!" the werewolf snapped, immediately apologizing to the Headmaster after a few moments of silence.
"It's alright, Remus, but you are burying yourself, and you are burying Moony.. You are killing Shadow this way and you know it."
Remus' jaw clenched and he gritted his teeth, "I can't help it that the boy wasn't ready for true commitment."
Dumbledore sighed, and for the first time that Remus could ever remember he seemed angry, "Remus somewhere in your mind you know that Harry was ready for this and that he truly loves you for you and only you. You know that he is a true Gryffindor and loyal in every way, and he would never be unfaithful to you. Harry is like a grandson to me and it hurts to see you kill him like this."
The werewolf growled, "Would you stop talking about him like he's dying, he'll live."
The old man sighed once again, "Maybe so, but as his mate you are hurting him and you and I both know that a mate just can't handle that kind of hurt from someone who practically shares their soul."
When the silence grew long Dumbledore rose, "I know you want to stay angry and bitter but the sooner you forgive Harry for something he didn't do .. the sooner you can have your mate back."
Somewhere inside of Remus Moony howled at the loss of his mate's touch, smell, and appearance, but Remus pushed him back into oblivion.
~*~
Shadow gave a growl of surprise when a dressing gown was chucked over him and he was about to peer out when he heard Hermione whisper "They're almost dressed, you can leave when they're gone."
So he waited and 5 minutes later the cover was pulled off of him where he stretched and whimpered a little as he felt the aches leave his body but not his heart. He clicked suddenly as he spotted Hermione's books what lesson they had first....Defense against the Dark Arts.
"Are you going to go?" Hermione asked tentavily and scratched behind his ears at the silky fur.
He curled his tail around himself and tucked his legs underneath himself as though to appear very small and let out a keening noise.After a few minutes battle with his mind he decided that he did _need_ this class for his future dreams, although right now they seemed lifeless and Hollow like how he felt. So he jumped from the bed and changed until he was standing before Hermione and nodded.
"Merlin Harry, did you sleep at all? You look incredibly pale." She lifted a hand to his forehead until she caught the pained look in his eyes. She reached around and hugged him tightly and after a few silent minutes he returned it.
"Shadow is going to have to walk down stairs though otherwise you'll just slip." He nodded again and changing back he led the way downstairs and seeing the common room empty he reverted back to Harry.
"Help me?" He asked Hermione quietly and she knew he meant to survive the next lesson. He sounded so lost, like the child he had once been, alone and frightened, that she bit back tears and nodded, leading him to his next lesson and estranged mate.
However the Gryffindor Trio didn't meet their usually cheery Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Sitting at his desk wearing a smug smile was Severus Snape. When the Gryffindors entered he sneered and smiled at the way the Slytherins hissed at them.
Harry sighed, this was going to be absolute torment.
~*~
Remus sat balled up in the same chair he had been in hours before when Dumbledore had come to speak with him. He could feel his strength really beginning to wan and knew that it was time for him to start packing or he never would, and he didn't think trying to sneak through the school naked was going to help his attitude very much.
The werewolf sighed and rose looking incredibly pale in the sunlight. After tossing a pair of jeans, a sweater, and another patchy robe in a bag he went back to his place by the fire. Dreading the night .. he would be alone again .. more so than every before because now he didn't even have his Shadow.
~*~
Harry watched from the Common Room window hours later as the sun began to set casting an ocean of a powerful red across the ground. ("Like blood.") Harry thought as he felt his heart sinking slowly into a dark pain he'd only felt after Sirius had died.
He didn't get up, not even flinched when hours later he still hadn't moved and his skin glowed a ethereal blue under the light of the full moon. In the far distance he could hear a pained howl and even then he didn't feel the tear slip down his cheek.
He wanted so much to run to his mate but knew that Remus still controlled his thoughts, no matter what the form. So opening the latch of the window he shifted into Shadow and climbed so he was sat on a high window sill where he answered the howl with a mournful roar.
~*~
Remus woke with a shudder and looked about it, wincing at the cuts and bruises that appeared over his slim body. It was worse without Shadow. The werewolf sighed and pulled on the jeans, sweater, and robe that he had brought in the bag. With a tired sigh he began walking through the Forbidden Forest back towards Hogwarts. Birds chattered in the early morning light, and the not yet risen sun was casting rays over the trees, causing the forest to appear a nice shade of light orange.
'I can't believe you!' came the sudden sound of That Voice.
The werewolf winced and sighed ("Why?")
'First you are tearing your mate's heart out, and second you didn't trust in Harry! Remus, you know better!' That Voice piped out angrily.
The man shrugged ("There is nothing I can do about it now .. what's done is done.")
'And why can't you do something about it?'
("I have hurt my mate greatly and there is no way I can make up for that. Words cannot apologize for what I have done in the past few days.")
That Voice sighed loudly, 'You are the biggest buffoon in the world! Harry is in there probably still crying because he thinks that he has lost you! If you don't go to him then you'll end up killing the boy!'
Remus thought about this and suddenly Remus and Moony appeared from the black oblivion. They were ready to go and get their mate back!
~*~
Harry woke when a cold shiver ran up his spine. He opened one tear scratched eye blearily and then the other as he realized he was sat a top one of the lower roofs. He was still in Shadow form and so stretching his aching limbs he stood and began to walk around until Hogwarts's small courtyard was below him. He watched the sun rise briefly on top of the roof in an attempt to ease any pain in his heart but when even that failed he jumped down and prowled across the yard slowly.
Halfway across he shifted back into Harry and stopped, just staring at the floor. He'd lost Remus. He'd lost the one thing that gave him a reason to fight and he lost the one thing that made him understand why so many people would willingly give their lives for...He'd lost love.
This realization seemed to remove any energy he had left and he just collapsed onto his knees. His arms folded across his middle and he leant forward, not even aware when the tears trickled down his cheeks this time. He was numb and all he wanted to do was curl up and live in memories of a love that had fulfilled him for a while.
He felt himself draining considerably but found himself not caring.
This is the scene in which Remus found his mate. It broke his heart all over again, and he wanted to hit himself for being such a jerk. Harry didn't see Remus approaching, and so the man dropped down to his knees and wrapped his arms around Harry's body whispering frantically, "I'm sorry."
Harry slowly turned his head to the other man before shaking his head slightly and facing quickly back in front of him.
"No, no I've finally cracked. You're not real just a memory." He clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth to hold back the tears. He wanted so _much_ to lean into the arms, to _kiss_ the lips in front of him but this couldn't be real, the real Remus had made it clear last night where they stood.
Remus shook his head and began showering Harry's face with kisses, "It's me, my love, and I'm sorry!" he cried softly, wrapping his arms tighter around Harry's slim body. ("What have I done?") That Voice was eager to speak up 'Hurt Harry badly, but you are definitely on the right track for making up!'.
Harry blinked up at the panic in Remus's voice and shook his head as though to clear it. It felt like a fog was parting before him and he was waking up from a long and distressing sleep.
"R..Remus?" He asked, his voice breaking slightly and he reached a trembling hand to the beautiful face in front of him and gave a cry of sobbing relief.
"Remus, You're really here....Oh God I'm so sorry, I didn't know what he was going to do and I really wanted you to believe me and I'm sorry, so sorry that it happened I'm sorry sorry..." He repeated it over and cried freely into the body against his, relief flooding through him like new life at the warmth of his mate beside him.
Remus gentle rocked his mate, "No, it's not your fault, I'm sorry! I let myself get carried away in throwing a pity-party for myself and I lashed out at you. Come on." he stood taking Harry in his arms and headed for the Lair. Strangely enough they met no one on the way there, and once there Remus sat down in his chair, placing Harry gently on his lap. "I love you, Harry." he said looking his mate in the eye to let him know that he meant it. "I'm sorry I did not listen to you." he placed a soft kiss on Harry's lips to seal the apology.
"I'm sorry you were put into a situation where you had every right to doubt me." He said quietly and curled up into Remus's arms. "I love you so much Remus, if all this has shown me it is that I'm nothing without you."
He placed another kiss on Remus's lips and electricity coursed through him. He was alive again.
"Help me find my ring?" He asked timidly when they pulled back.
Remus smiled and pulled his wand out from his robe pocket, "Accio Ring." he held his hand out and within seconds the ring was being warmed by Harry's finger. The werewolf took Harry's hand and placed kisses on his ring finger, never wanting to see the ring anywhere else.
Harry looked adoringly at Remus as he placed kisses on his hand. He let him a little while longer before finally stepping up and smiling at Remus.
"Wait here." he said before running upstairs quickly. He returned a few minutes later and in his hands was a small purple velvet box.
"I ordered this a while ago, no one knew and I was going to give it to you the other day after we made love but....well you know what happened." He finished quietly and bending down onto one knee he opened the box.
Nestled inside was a white gold ring and in tiny ruby crystals was the word "Moony." Just like Harry's own ring there was a message engraved inside.
"Predestined in past lives, reunited in this life."
Remus felt tears prickle his eyes and he sniffled as Harry put the ring on his fingers. The werewolf slid from the chair and onto his knees, his arms around Harry's neck and his lips against his mate's.
Harry slipped his arms around Remus's waist and kneeling up slightly higher he returned the kiss. He would never now how any one could doubt this love as he felt like he had died and gone to heaven. He couldn't, no _wouldn't_, move his lips from Remus's but oxygen was needed and he pulled away reluctantly.
"Let me love you, let me show you again that I share my soul with you." He pleaded against Remus's ear as he had his cheek placed against Remus's heated one.
The werewolf nodded not trusting his voice to come out right from the heat that had pooled below his waist. Again he had to think of how stupid he was to not believe Harry in the first place.
Harry stood and led Remus to the bedroom. He gently sat Remus onto the bed and stroked his face. He stripped himself of his shirt and did the same to Remus as he kissed him gently.
He pushed him slowly to lie down on the bed and sat straddled on his hips as he looked lovingly down at him. He was savoring every moment with his lover now and briefly looked at the ring around Remus's finger.
"Love you and I'm sorry I couldn't be at your transformation. I heard you though." He whispered.
Remus looked down at the fresh cuts and bruises on his chest, "I missed you." he said softly, "Moony missed Shadow." He touched his finger lightly to Harry's cheek, "I'm sorry I pushed you away."
Harry shook his head and spread himself out over the top of Remus and kissed him gently. "We're just going to keep apologizing to each other over and over. I'm going to prove it to you."
Harry continued to strip the pair of them, letting Remus remain on the bed until finally skin touched skin. After everything this feel of their bodies together sent blinding electricity coursing through his body and he felt his body heat rise.
They made love over and over until finally the midday bell rang far off in the distance. Harry had collapsed on top of Remus panting, his body damp with sweat and he rested his head on Remus's forehead as his body heaved and shook pleasantly.
Remus' breath was coming in short gasps and his skin was covered in sweat, and other things needless to say. Again he was amazed at his young lover and the way in which he put passion into every single movement of his body. "I love you." he said bringing his arm around Harry's waist to draw him closer.
"Love you." Harry breathed back and pulled back to smile down at the tawny haired man. He stroked the damp hair back from Remus's face with loving movements.
He took the Werewolf's left hand in his and intertwined it with his own. He observed their hands and rings together and smiled again as he felt his heart still attempting to return to a normal pace.
Remus smiled and he also looked at the intertwined hands and the beautiful rings that glinted in the scarcely lit room.
"Remus?" Harry asked and was answered with an attentive 'hmm.'
"After like school and everything do you think maybe one day we could....you know, adopt a baby?"
Remus looked up at him in a thoughtful manner as Harry continued "Well it's just, I've always wanted children and um...well when I was small I always wished that someone would come and adopt me away from the Dursleys so I want to do that. I want to give another orphan what I couldn't have.....a family." He finished and tucked his head under the older man's chin.
Remus smiled tenderly at his mate, "We can always adopt a child if that's what you want, but werewolf's mates have the ability to become pregnant." he said softly, not wanting to freak his mate out, but wanting him to know his options.
Harry shifted so he was hovering above Remus slightly and looked at him through his black fringe. He just gazed at the man quizzically until finally something coherent left his mouth.
"Eh?" He squeaked confused and cocked his head. He, a man wit no womb or female reproductive organs whatsoever, could carry a child. He could become pregnant....To say he was shocked would be an understatement.
He sat up further, the sheets slipping off his still rather heated body and the shock was still apparent in his gaze. He kept himself straddled on the elder though.
"Clearly I missed something In DADA or at least basic wizarding culture because last I checked men were enable to have babies." He said still in that vague confused manner.
Remus smiled softly, "You haven't missed anything because Werewolves and their mates aren't taught in school." he stoked Harry's thigh lovingly, "You see when a Werewolf chooses his mate and they have sex a magical womb is created inside of the mate. You see it's not that you have female organs because obviously you don't, but when the magical womb is created it allows you to carry a child as a woman would."
Harry stared at a point just left of Remus's ear blankly with his mouth open a little.
"Huh." He finally managed out and then turned back to Remus. "But it's cut out right? I've seen women on birth videos in primary school and it looks....painful." He whispered and then looked at the hand on his thigh. He placed his own hand on top of it and turned back to Remus.
The werewolf looked at his mate for a moment before busting out in laughter. When he was able to calm himself he spoke, "No no, a werewolf's mate doesn't have a baby like a woman. A magical nurse/doctor has to split the stomach and magically take the womb apart very slowly so as not to damage the child in anyway. Once the wombs magical strands have been taken away the nurse/doctor can then extract the baby."
Harry had felt a reluctant grin come to his face at his mates laughter. "Sounds messy." He said quietly and grinned again when Remus started laughing again. He looked down at their two bodies together and stretched out over Remus again.
"So we can have our own family....will the child be Lycanthrope like you?" He asked and found even if the answer was yes he didn't really care.
Remus shook his head, "Luckily no. He will have the ability to transform into a wolf without learning the animagus ways, it will be natural to simply transform into a wolf, but the child won't have to fear the moon as I do."
The werewolf said but his mind was more on the lithe body that was stretched over him. Remus flipped Harry over and straddled his mate, "Would it matter?"
"Honestly, no. I mean if the child had to endure the pain you do then I would do anything within my power to lessen it but I wouldn't care what other people said. They try to do anything to them then I would just let them meet my alter ego on a bad day." He said seriously and rested his graceful hands on Remus's hips, curling is fingers around his form.
Remus growled happily and lowered his lips to Harry's chest placing soft kisses on his mate's chest while his tawny hair brushed softly over Harry's skin. Remus brought his lips up to Harry's jaw line and then whispered in his ear, "I love you, 'Prince of Cats.'"
Harry purred and his eyes took on a more feline look. "The Moonchild and the Prince of Cats.....Care to worship me?" He asked in a regal voice and decided to live up to his newly given title.
~*~
"I'm guessing from the fat smile on your face that things are sorted out." Hermione said as a tired looking but happy Harry sat between herself and a chuckling Ron.
"I don't think I'm going to walk straight for a week." He said in a serious voice causing Ron to laugh uproar-isly and Hermione to give him a disapproving look. He didn't care though as he looked over at his mate who had never looked so young and healthy.
"He's radiant isn't he." He said in a wistful voice, " Like an alpha wolf baying to the moon....And I've just become a lovesick loon." He said snapping out of it and looking back at his chuckling friends.
"We'll grant you this one Harry, you did have a hard time so loon away." Hermione said and cocked her head. "He is looking better though, what exactly did you do to him last night?"
"I loved him." Harry returned.
~*~
It had been almost four weeks since Harry and Remus' reunion and Remus wouldn't give anything in the world for those four weeks. He and Harry had grown so close since then that they were practically inseparable, and Remus hardly had time to feel insecure about himself, but Harry was acting strange and the werewolf couldn't quite comprehend what it was.
When Remus entered the Lair to find Harry just staring into the fire he sat down beside of his mate and wrapped an arm around his waist, "What's wrong, you've been acting strange?" he said, "Have I done something?"
Harry looked away from the fire and into the worried eyes of his mate. He shook his head.
"I think I'm pregnant."
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Written by: Heather (Remus) and Callie (Harry)
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Thank you to all of our wondeful reviewers! This story would be here without you! Also note that we also writer under the penname 'Cardinal' so please find more of our writings there!
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Prince of Cats
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Shadow curled up tighter as mournful keening sounds came from his throat. He pawed in distress at the ground and let out a pained growl that echoed off the walls.
Harry felt like he was dying inside and he scrunched up his cat features as though wounded. He felt all energy leave him and he collapsed just outside Dumbledore's office and wept the best a cat could.
Dumbledore roused from his sleep, his long night cap partly twisted around his neck. Something wasn't right. He put on a pair of long blue robes and left the office gasping when he found Shadow lying on the floor. He knew Harry's animagus form and it stunned him to see him like this.
The old man picked up the pitiful creature and carried him up into his round office, Lying him gently by the roaring fire. Dumbledore muttered a spell and the black panther morphed into the teenager that Dumbledore knew so well. "Enervate."
When Harry's eyes opened Dumbledore smiled slightly, "Harry what is wrong? Why were you outside my office in your animagus form?"
Harry looked up at the kindly old man and found tears made their way down his cheeks again. "He wouldn't listen." He sobbed and clutched at the man when Dumbledore took him into his arms.
Harry then went into a tearful explanation about Seamus kissing him and Remus turning away, not believing his love anymore.
"I don't know how to show him, I tried but I don't think it was enough." Sobbing harder and a painful mewl escaped with it, "I don't want to lose him, I don't I don't..." He began to mutter it over and clenched his eyes shut.
Dumbledore didn't know when he had felt so much sadness fill his heart. The time he ran out of lemon drops or now at the sobbing Harry. He was pretty sure the latter won out, and he calmly stroked the sobbing teen's back, "Shhh .. Harry. Remus told you before the two of you made the mate thing official that he would at times be extremely protective, and at times he wouldn't want to leave your side. This is one of those times. The protective part of him came out and was hurt, and then he did what he does best .. he hid."
The man sighed, "When Sirius died Remus withdrew into himself, as it was his only defense from the pain of loss. Inside this oblivion he knows no pain, and he can't be hurt .. he's just alone. That is when I arranged for you to be taken to Grimmauld Place .. he needed someone to share the pain with, and he did. Now he is re-burying himself, so to speak."
"But he hasn't lost me, I don't know what to do..." Harry said panic stricken, "How do I prove to him I love him? I'll do anything, die if I have to. I can't live without him Dumbledore I just can't. Even if they reversed the mating bond I'd still only be half of who I was. I love him." He felt himself begin to shake but this time he fought off any tears.
"How do I bring him back?"
"Truthfully, Harry, I don't know, and he may never come out of the oblivion." The ancient wizard sighed, frustrated that he had a problem he couldn't solve, "The only thing that I think could bring him back is true love, my boy, and I believe yours is that. Give him time and I think he will return."
Harry looked at the man pitifully and then just gazed blankly in front of him. "It's almost Full Moon." He said quietly, a solitary tear slipping out off his eye, "I feel like where my heart should be theres just a black space."
He growled suddenly and pulled back to wipe harshly at his face. "Why did Seamus do that! I told him I loved someone else." The anger died again just as quickly as it had come and he pulled his knees to his chest and curled his arms around them.
"I want to return to the Lair because I don't feel safe anywhere else." He said quietly.
Dumbledore's blue eyes were filled with agony as he looked at at the boy that was so like a grandchild to him. "A werewolf can never physically harm their mate on purpose, so you would technically be safe in the Lair, but I don't know how Remus is doing." he sighed, "I think that you should go to the Gryffindor Tower .. Ron and Hermione will take care of you for the night, and I will go talk to Remus."
The old man patted Harry softly on the back, "I'm sorry."
Harry nodded solemnly and on a spur of the moment hugged the old man. "Thank you anyway." He said equally as quiet and stood on shaky legs before deciding it would be easier on four. He looked at Dumbledore as though to ask permission and when the man nodded he changed back into Shadow and ran to Gryffindor Tower.
Once inside he looked briefly up at the boys dorm but couldn't bear being in the same room as Seamus and so he looked at the girls. Males couldn't get up there.....But then again Crookshanks was a male _cat_ so.......
Harry placed one paw upon the stairs and when he got halfway without the stairs changing he sprinted the rest, tears coming back to him now and nudged open the girls dorm door, finding Hermione's bed. Nudging his nose against her hand she woke up with a start and before she yelled Harry changed back into his normal body, tears streaming down his face. She looked at him briefly before pulling him onto the bed and held him as he wept, no words exchanged.
Hermione pulled her best friend up onto her bed and drew the hangings around them, casting a silence spell to keep away anybody that was lying awake. "What is it Harry? What's happened, and why aren't you at the Lair?" she said while trying to wipe her friend's tears.
Harry took a few moments to compose himself before recalling the tale for her. He sighed shakily after he had and leant his head against her shoulder.
"You didn't see the hurt in his eyes Hermione.....I could've killed Seamus right there but.....Oh god I want to be in his arms, have today be just another day. Why does it always go wrong?"
Hermione kissed her friend's forehead in a motherly way, "When Remus cools off I'm sure he'll come talk to you." she said soothingly, "When I found out that you were his mate I grabbed some books from the library about it and really Remus can't help his protectiveness. The part of Remus that made you leave tonight was that protectiveness, and the other part of him was hurt and did nothing to stop it."
She smiled, "Don't worry he'll be alright in a while, you just sleep."
Harry nodded and offered her a small grateful smile. At least that explained things a little but it still hurt inside. "Ok." He said quietly and deciding that he didn't want rumors flying around about him in the girls dorms he turned back into Shadow who then curled up at the foot of Hermione's bed.
He felt the girl nod back off a little while later but he himself settled for resting his head on his front paws and gazed longingly at the moon outside, not quite full but brighter then any star.
("Love you Moony, I'm just another animal without you here.") Shadow purred and wished upon hope that in some form or other his wolf mate would hear his silent pledge.
~*~
Remus woke from his place on the floor when he felt a gut wrenching tug in his stomach. His eyes widened as he frantically crawled to the bathroom and deposited his stomach to the merciless white toilet. He sighed running a hand through his hair. The Full Moon would be this night .. thankfully he wouldn't have to teach classes, but he would miss Shadow ... ("No better not to think about that.") he said, trying to bury the image of the beautiful black panther from his mind.
With a blank expression in his large amber eyes he dressed in comfortable robes and took a seat by the fireplace, loving the feeling of warmth that washed over his slightly trembling body.
"Ah Remus, I thought that I would find you here." said a wizened voice, causing the werewolf to jump from his chair, "Oh, Albus, I didn't hear you come in."
Dumbledore smiled at his former student and took a seat on the couch looking at him with concern in his old blue eyes. "Remus what are you doing to yourself?"
Remus frowned, "I don't know what you mean."
"I think you do. When Sirius -"
"Don't talk about him!" the werewolf snapped, immediately apologizing to the Headmaster after a few moments of silence.
"It's alright, Remus, but you are burying yourself, and you are burying Moony.. You are killing Shadow this way and you know it."
Remus' jaw clenched and he gritted his teeth, "I can't help it that the boy wasn't ready for true commitment."
Dumbledore sighed, and for the first time that Remus could ever remember he seemed angry, "Remus somewhere in your mind you know that Harry was ready for this and that he truly loves you for you and only you. You know that he is a true Gryffindor and loyal in every way, and he would never be unfaithful to you. Harry is like a grandson to me and it hurts to see you kill him like this."
The werewolf growled, "Would you stop talking about him like he's dying, he'll live."
The old man sighed once again, "Maybe so, but as his mate you are hurting him and you and I both know that a mate just can't handle that kind of hurt from someone who practically shares their soul."
When the silence grew long Dumbledore rose, "I know you want to stay angry and bitter but the sooner you forgive Harry for something he didn't do .. the sooner you can have your mate back."
Somewhere inside of Remus Moony howled at the loss of his mate's touch, smell, and appearance, but Remus pushed him back into oblivion.
~*~
Shadow gave a growl of surprise when a dressing gown was chucked over him and he was about to peer out when he heard Hermione whisper "They're almost dressed, you can leave when they're gone."
So he waited and 5 minutes later the cover was pulled off of him where he stretched and whimpered a little as he felt the aches leave his body but not his heart. He clicked suddenly as he spotted Hermione's books what lesson they had first....Defense against the Dark Arts.
"Are you going to go?" Hermione asked tentavily and scratched behind his ears at the silky fur.
He curled his tail around himself and tucked his legs underneath himself as though to appear very small and let out a keening noise.After a few minutes battle with his mind he decided that he did _need_ this class for his future dreams, although right now they seemed lifeless and Hollow like how he felt. So he jumped from the bed and changed until he was standing before Hermione and nodded.
"Merlin Harry, did you sleep at all? You look incredibly pale." She lifted a hand to his forehead until she caught the pained look in his eyes. She reached around and hugged him tightly and after a few silent minutes he returned it.
"Shadow is going to have to walk down stairs though otherwise you'll just slip." He nodded again and changing back he led the way downstairs and seeing the common room empty he reverted back to Harry.
"Help me?" He asked Hermione quietly and she knew he meant to survive the next lesson. He sounded so lost, like the child he had once been, alone and frightened, that she bit back tears and nodded, leading him to his next lesson and estranged mate.
However the Gryffindor Trio didn't meet their usually cheery Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Sitting at his desk wearing a smug smile was Severus Snape. When the Gryffindors entered he sneered and smiled at the way the Slytherins hissed at them.
Harry sighed, this was going to be absolute torment.
~*~
Remus sat balled up in the same chair he had been in hours before when Dumbledore had come to speak with him. He could feel his strength really beginning to wan and knew that it was time for him to start packing or he never would, and he didn't think trying to sneak through the school naked was going to help his attitude very much.
The werewolf sighed and rose looking incredibly pale in the sunlight. After tossing a pair of jeans, a sweater, and another patchy robe in a bag he went back to his place by the fire. Dreading the night .. he would be alone again .. more so than every before because now he didn't even have his Shadow.
~*~
Harry watched from the Common Room window hours later as the sun began to set casting an ocean of a powerful red across the ground. ("Like blood.") Harry thought as he felt his heart sinking slowly into a dark pain he'd only felt after Sirius had died.
He didn't get up, not even flinched when hours later he still hadn't moved and his skin glowed a ethereal blue under the light of the full moon. In the far distance he could hear a pained howl and even then he didn't feel the tear slip down his cheek.
He wanted so much to run to his mate but knew that Remus still controlled his thoughts, no matter what the form. So opening the latch of the window he shifted into Shadow and climbed so he was sat on a high window sill where he answered the howl with a mournful roar.
~*~
Remus woke with a shudder and looked about it, wincing at the cuts and bruises that appeared over his slim body. It was worse without Shadow. The werewolf sighed and pulled on the jeans, sweater, and robe that he had brought in the bag. With a tired sigh he began walking through the Forbidden Forest back towards Hogwarts. Birds chattered in the early morning light, and the not yet risen sun was casting rays over the trees, causing the forest to appear a nice shade of light orange.
'I can't believe you!' came the sudden sound of That Voice.
The werewolf winced and sighed ("Why?")
'First you are tearing your mate's heart out, and second you didn't trust in Harry! Remus, you know better!' That Voice piped out angrily.
The man shrugged ("There is nothing I can do about it now .. what's done is done.")
'And why can't you do something about it?'
("I have hurt my mate greatly and there is no way I can make up for that. Words cannot apologize for what I have done in the past few days.")
That Voice sighed loudly, 'You are the biggest buffoon in the world! Harry is in there probably still crying because he thinks that he has lost you! If you don't go to him then you'll end up killing the boy!'
Remus thought about this and suddenly Remus and Moony appeared from the black oblivion. They were ready to go and get their mate back!
~*~
Harry woke when a cold shiver ran up his spine. He opened one tear scratched eye blearily and then the other as he realized he was sat a top one of the lower roofs. He was still in Shadow form and so stretching his aching limbs he stood and began to walk around until Hogwarts's small courtyard was below him. He watched the sun rise briefly on top of the roof in an attempt to ease any pain in his heart but when even that failed he jumped down and prowled across the yard slowly.
Halfway across he shifted back into Harry and stopped, just staring at the floor. He'd lost Remus. He'd lost the one thing that gave him a reason to fight and he lost the one thing that made him understand why so many people would willingly give their lives for...He'd lost love.
This realization seemed to remove any energy he had left and he just collapsed onto his knees. His arms folded across his middle and he leant forward, not even aware when the tears trickled down his cheeks this time. He was numb and all he wanted to do was curl up and live in memories of a love that had fulfilled him for a while.
He felt himself draining considerably but found himself not caring.
This is the scene in which Remus found his mate. It broke his heart all over again, and he wanted to hit himself for being such a jerk. Harry didn't see Remus approaching, and so the man dropped down to his knees and wrapped his arms around Harry's body whispering frantically, "I'm sorry."
Harry slowly turned his head to the other man before shaking his head slightly and facing quickly back in front of him.
"No, no I've finally cracked. You're not real just a memory." He clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth to hold back the tears. He wanted so _much_ to lean into the arms, to _kiss_ the lips in front of him but this couldn't be real, the real Remus had made it clear last night where they stood.
Remus shook his head and began showering Harry's face with kisses, "It's me, my love, and I'm sorry!" he cried softly, wrapping his arms tighter around Harry's slim body. ("What have I done?") That Voice was eager to speak up 'Hurt Harry badly, but you are definitely on the right track for making up!'.
Harry blinked up at the panic in Remus's voice and shook his head as though to clear it. It felt like a fog was parting before him and he was waking up from a long and distressing sleep.
"R..Remus?" He asked, his voice breaking slightly and he reached a trembling hand to the beautiful face in front of him and gave a cry of sobbing relief.
"Remus, You're really here....Oh God I'm so sorry, I didn't know what he was going to do and I really wanted you to believe me and I'm sorry, so sorry that it happened I'm sorry sorry..." He repeated it over and cried freely into the body against his, relief flooding through him like new life at the warmth of his mate beside him.
Remus gentle rocked his mate, "No, it's not your fault, I'm sorry! I let myself get carried away in throwing a pity-party for myself and I lashed out at you. Come on." he stood taking Harry in his arms and headed for the Lair. Strangely enough they met no one on the way there, and once there Remus sat down in his chair, placing Harry gently on his lap. "I love you, Harry." he said looking his mate in the eye to let him know that he meant it. "I'm sorry I did not listen to you." he placed a soft kiss on Harry's lips to seal the apology.
"I'm sorry you were put into a situation where you had every right to doubt me." He said quietly and curled up into Remus's arms. "I love you so much Remus, if all this has shown me it is that I'm nothing without you."
He placed another kiss on Remus's lips and electricity coursed through him. He was alive again.
"Help me find my ring?" He asked timidly when they pulled back.
Remus smiled and pulled his wand out from his robe pocket, "Accio Ring." he held his hand out and within seconds the ring was being warmed by Harry's finger. The werewolf took Harry's hand and placed kisses on his ring finger, never wanting to see the ring anywhere else.
Harry looked adoringly at Remus as he placed kisses on his hand. He let him a little while longer before finally stepping up and smiling at Remus.
"Wait here." he said before running upstairs quickly. He returned a few minutes later and in his hands was a small purple velvet box.
"I ordered this a while ago, no one knew and I was going to give it to you the other day after we made love but....well you know what happened." He finished quietly and bending down onto one knee he opened the box.
Nestled inside was a white gold ring and in tiny ruby crystals was the word "Moony." Just like Harry's own ring there was a message engraved inside.
"Predestined in past lives, reunited in this life."
Remus felt tears prickle his eyes and he sniffled as Harry put the ring on his fingers. The werewolf slid from the chair and onto his knees, his arms around Harry's neck and his lips against his mate's.
Harry slipped his arms around Remus's waist and kneeling up slightly higher he returned the kiss. He would never now how any one could doubt this love as he felt like he had died and gone to heaven. He couldn't, no _wouldn't_, move his lips from Remus's but oxygen was needed and he pulled away reluctantly.
"Let me love you, let me show you again that I share my soul with you." He pleaded against Remus's ear as he had his cheek placed against Remus's heated one.
The werewolf nodded not trusting his voice to come out right from the heat that had pooled below his waist. Again he had to think of how stupid he was to not believe Harry in the first place.
Harry stood and led Remus to the bedroom. He gently sat Remus onto the bed and stroked his face. He stripped himself of his shirt and did the same to Remus as he kissed him gently.
He pushed him slowly to lie down on the bed and sat straddled on his hips as he looked lovingly down at him. He was savoring every moment with his lover now and briefly looked at the ring around Remus's finger.
"Love you and I'm sorry I couldn't be at your transformation. I heard you though." He whispered.
Remus looked down at the fresh cuts and bruises on his chest, "I missed you." he said softly, "Moony missed Shadow." He touched his finger lightly to Harry's cheek, "I'm sorry I pushed you away."
Harry shook his head and spread himself out over the top of Remus and kissed him gently. "We're just going to keep apologizing to each other over and over. I'm going to prove it to you."
Harry continued to strip the pair of them, letting Remus remain on the bed until finally skin touched skin. After everything this feel of their bodies together sent blinding electricity coursing through his body and he felt his body heat rise.
They made love over and over until finally the midday bell rang far off in the distance. Harry had collapsed on top of Remus panting, his body damp with sweat and he rested his head on Remus's forehead as his body heaved and shook pleasantly.
Remus' breath was coming in short gasps and his skin was covered in sweat, and other things needless to say. Again he was amazed at his young lover and the way in which he put passion into every single movement of his body. "I love you." he said bringing his arm around Harry's waist to draw him closer.
"Love you." Harry breathed back and pulled back to smile down at the tawny haired man. He stroked the damp hair back from Remus's face with loving movements.
He took the Werewolf's left hand in his and intertwined it with his own. He observed their hands and rings together and smiled again as he felt his heart still attempting to return to a normal pace.
Remus smiled and he also looked at the intertwined hands and the beautiful rings that glinted in the scarcely lit room.
"Remus?" Harry asked and was answered with an attentive 'hmm.'
"After like school and everything do you think maybe one day we could....you know, adopt a baby?"
Remus looked up at him in a thoughtful manner as Harry continued "Well it's just, I've always wanted children and um...well when I was small I always wished that someone would come and adopt me away from the Dursleys so I want to do that. I want to give another orphan what I couldn't have.....a family." He finished and tucked his head under the older man's chin.
Remus smiled tenderly at his mate, "We can always adopt a child if that's what you want, but werewolf's mates have the ability to become pregnant." he said softly, not wanting to freak his mate out, but wanting him to know his options.
Harry shifted so he was hovering above Remus slightly and looked at him through his black fringe. He just gazed at the man quizzically until finally something coherent left his mouth.
"Eh?" He squeaked confused and cocked his head. He, a man wit no womb or female reproductive organs whatsoever, could carry a child. He could become pregnant....To say he was shocked would be an understatement.
He sat up further, the sheets slipping off his still rather heated body and the shock was still apparent in his gaze. He kept himself straddled on the elder though.
"Clearly I missed something In DADA or at least basic wizarding culture because last I checked men were enable to have babies." He said still in that vague confused manner.
Remus smiled softly, "You haven't missed anything because Werewolves and their mates aren't taught in school." he stoked Harry's thigh lovingly, "You see when a Werewolf chooses his mate and they have sex a magical womb is created inside of the mate. You see it's not that you have female organs because obviously you don't, but when the magical womb is created it allows you to carry a child as a woman would."
Harry stared at a point just left of Remus's ear blankly with his mouth open a little.
"Huh." He finally managed out and then turned back to Remus. "But it's cut out right? I've seen women on birth videos in primary school and it looks....painful." He whispered and then looked at the hand on his thigh. He placed his own hand on top of it and turned back to Remus.
The werewolf looked at his mate for a moment before busting out in laughter. When he was able to calm himself he spoke, "No no, a werewolf's mate doesn't have a baby like a woman. A magical nurse/doctor has to split the stomach and magically take the womb apart very slowly so as not to damage the child in anyway. Once the wombs magical strands have been taken away the nurse/doctor can then extract the baby."
Harry had felt a reluctant grin come to his face at his mates laughter. "Sounds messy." He said quietly and grinned again when Remus started laughing again. He looked down at their two bodies together and stretched out over Remus again.
"So we can have our own family....will the child be Lycanthrope like you?" He asked and found even if the answer was yes he didn't really care.
Remus shook his head, "Luckily no. He will have the ability to transform into a wolf without learning the animagus ways, it will be natural to simply transform into a wolf, but the child won't have to fear the moon as I do."
The werewolf said but his mind was more on the lithe body that was stretched over him. Remus flipped Harry over and straddled his mate, "Would it matter?"
"Honestly, no. I mean if the child had to endure the pain you do then I would do anything within my power to lessen it but I wouldn't care what other people said. They try to do anything to them then I would just let them meet my alter ego on a bad day." He said seriously and rested his graceful hands on Remus's hips, curling is fingers around his form.
Remus growled happily and lowered his lips to Harry's chest placing soft kisses on his mate's chest while his tawny hair brushed softly over Harry's skin. Remus brought his lips up to Harry's jaw line and then whispered in his ear, "I love you, 'Prince of Cats.'"
Harry purred and his eyes took on a more feline look. "The Moonchild and the Prince of Cats.....Care to worship me?" He asked in a regal voice and decided to live up to his newly given title.
~*~
"I'm guessing from the fat smile on your face that things are sorted out." Hermione said as a tired looking but happy Harry sat between herself and a chuckling Ron.
"I don't think I'm going to walk straight for a week." He said in a serious voice causing Ron to laugh uproar-isly and Hermione to give him a disapproving look. He didn't care though as he looked over at his mate who had never looked so young and healthy.
"He's radiant isn't he." He said in a wistful voice, " Like an alpha wolf baying to the moon....And I've just become a lovesick loon." He said snapping out of it and looking back at his chuckling friends.
"We'll grant you this one Harry, you did have a hard time so loon away." Hermione said and cocked her head. "He is looking better though, what exactly did you do to him last night?"
"I loved him." Harry returned.
~*~
It had been almost four weeks since Harry and Remus' reunion and Remus wouldn't give anything in the world for those four weeks. He and Harry had grown so close since then that they were practically inseparable, and Remus hardly had time to feel insecure about himself, but Harry was acting strange and the werewolf couldn't quite comprehend what it was.
When Remus entered the Lair to find Harry just staring into the fire he sat down beside of his mate and wrapped an arm around his waist, "What's wrong, you've been acting strange?" he said, "Have I done something?"
Harry looked away from the fire and into the worried eyes of his mate. He shook his head.
"I think I'm pregnant."
................................................
Written by: Heather (Remus) and Callie (Harry)
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