Disclaimer: If you're reading this, you need mental help. As anyone with
half a brain can tell, I am not J. K. Rowling. If you think I am, go get
help. Please, save the world the agony of having another criminally insane
person. Though, if you want to put your insanity to good use, run for
government.
A/N: Hi! Welcome to another installment of A Series of Coincidences That Just Happen to Look Like a Plot! Try saying THAT five times fast! Anyway. You came here to read the insane antics of Harry Potter characters, not the author, so, I guess, on with the show.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Series of Coincidences That Just Happen to Look Like a Plot (if you use a powerful microscope, squint, and look at it from a 60 degree north angle)
by: Queen of Zan aka Crazy girl who wanders the halls
Coincidence Seven
The blue crayon sat in the drawer. It was mighty boring, being a crayon at Hogwarts in the library. No one used you. You just sat until some idiotic Slytherin came along and ate you. And, even worse, none of the other blue crayons had an awareness. Very boring, being a crayon with no one to talk to. It almost wished it had someone to just absolutely loathe him, for no reason at all. After all, it'd give him something to do.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
KNOCK KNOCK!
Sirius Black rolled over on his couch. He was very tired. Being dead did that to you. Of course, I don't have personal experience in that area, but still.
BANG BANG!
The knocking on his door got louder. Sirius groaned and got up. His black robes were very wrinkled. After all, he'd been wearing them for more than a year. Being dead did that to you.
Sirius Black walked over to his door and opened it. "Yes?" he asked sleepily.
"Sirius Black? Sirius Orion Black?"
"Er, yeah," Sirius murmured, groggy. Being dead can do that to you.
"You are a cad. An absolutely horrible person, you know that? A foul, disgusting person."
"Whatever. Can I go back to sleep now? It's only one 'o' clock. I normally don't get up 'til six, so I can eat dinner."
"Yes, go ahead. I just needed to tell you that."
Sirius Orion Black closed his front door. "I hate door-to-door salesmen," he muttered, collapsing onto his couch.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry Potter was crying. "Why did it get worse?" he asked the sky.
"I dunno," Ronald Weasley responded. "Chocolate?" he said, offering some to Harry.
"Sure," Harry said absently, accepting.
Suddenly, he gasped. "Chocolate! That's it! Ron, give me that!" he said, snatching it away.
"Geez, Harry, if you had wanted some more, all you had to do was ask," Ron told him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Blaise Zabini floated through a gigantic void. "Nice going, Draco."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco Malfoy floated through a gigantic void. From far off, he seemed to hear, "Nice going, Draco."
Draco sighed. He was not having a good day.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione Jane Granger was pacing the train. She glanced out a window, then resumed her pacing.
All of a sudden, she stopped short. "Wait a second!" she exclaimed, and whirled around. Yes, out of the window on her right, the sun was setting. She ran back down the train. Out of the window on her left, the sun was high. She checked her watch. It read two 'o' clock.
"What the—" she said, but was interrupted as a something hit her over the head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Severus!" Albus Percival Wulfric Brain Dumbledore called warningly, once more. He couldn't believe that Severus would go against his word.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Severus Snape was in a rather dire situation. He had gone against his word, been discovered, and he hadn't even gotten his reward. He was having a rather crappy day.
"Wait a second!" Dumbledore said. "What's that?" he said, pointing. Then he gasped. "Severus, you could have at least told Madam Pomfrey."
"Yes, but no one cares about Muggles who drop out of the sky," Snape said, exasperated.
"Maybe," Dumbledore said, "but she is one of Harry's only protection against Voldemort. Technically, she's his only adult blood relative."
"Yes, but no one cares about Potter. At least, I don't."
Dumbledore sighed. "Yes, but if Harry dies, the world is doomed."
"Good point."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Buh-duh?" Brian Zeogul asked again.
"What the heck is wrong with you, boy?" a loud voice said to him.
"Buh-duh?" BZ asked again.
The loud voice coming from the darkness (it was very dark in the rainforest where Brian Zeogul lived) sighed. "I give up," it said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Well? Good? Bad? Funny? Am I nuts? I AM NOT A NUT I AM A CASHEW! ...which, coincidentally, is not a nut. It has no shell. I'm just a fountain of useless information, huh?
Anyway. Just so you know, I write this fanfic without a rough draft, so most of this stuff is completely random and spur of the moment. And, miracle of miracles, the plot seems to be picking up.
So. Who likes coffee? IlikecoffeecoffeeisgooditgivesyouenergyandwakesyouupandIloveit.
Heh. I really did want to say that. It's funny.
Oh, if you've never read Cassandra Claire's Draco Trilogy, you should. I was finally convinced by my "friend" Sophie's sister, Nora, to read it, it really is great.
Acknowledgements and/or Thank You's:
Goddessgaia: Thank you! It was meant to be funny. Like I said in chapter 1, I was bored, so I started typing random things. And now look where it is!
Queen of Zan: Thank you for the feedback, there was a large lack of that this chapter, but then again, FF.net has been all, like, screwy and junk this week. And you're welcome for the extra effort. I love you too.
Cajun Rogue: Of course it made sense, everything makes sense when you're just barely not criminally insane. And thank you so much! And I really would miss you if you stopped reviewing, so please keep on!
tor-and-fenris: Yeah, Snape having a swearing problem is kinda distubing, but very effective! I dunno why...it just is. Oh, and, I mention all of my reviewers. But then, I have so few...it's not that difficult...But that doesn't mean I love you any less! Yay custard!
Sophie: Why are you not Mousiebead there, and why are you reviewing of chapter 5? I'm so confused. But, no, I was just kidding, review my stories all you want, it makes them look better. Repeat reviewers, UNITE!!
Mousiebead: Now, if I'm in love with a guy, do you REALLY think I'm gay? By the way, IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots.
So.
"That's magic. What you've got is heartbreak. Magic won't fix that." ...Yeah, I know, but I wish it could. *sigh*
A/N: Hi! Welcome to another installment of A Series of Coincidences That Just Happen to Look Like a Plot! Try saying THAT five times fast! Anyway. You came here to read the insane antics of Harry Potter characters, not the author, so, I guess, on with the show.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Series of Coincidences That Just Happen to Look Like a Plot (if you use a powerful microscope, squint, and look at it from a 60 degree north angle)
by: Queen of Zan aka Crazy girl who wanders the halls
Coincidence Seven
The blue crayon sat in the drawer. It was mighty boring, being a crayon at Hogwarts in the library. No one used you. You just sat until some idiotic Slytherin came along and ate you. And, even worse, none of the other blue crayons had an awareness. Very boring, being a crayon with no one to talk to. It almost wished it had someone to just absolutely loathe him, for no reason at all. After all, it'd give him something to do.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
KNOCK KNOCK!
Sirius Black rolled over on his couch. He was very tired. Being dead did that to you. Of course, I don't have personal experience in that area, but still.
BANG BANG!
The knocking on his door got louder. Sirius groaned and got up. His black robes were very wrinkled. After all, he'd been wearing them for more than a year. Being dead did that to you.
Sirius Black walked over to his door and opened it. "Yes?" he asked sleepily.
"Sirius Black? Sirius Orion Black?"
"Er, yeah," Sirius murmured, groggy. Being dead can do that to you.
"You are a cad. An absolutely horrible person, you know that? A foul, disgusting person."
"Whatever. Can I go back to sleep now? It's only one 'o' clock. I normally don't get up 'til six, so I can eat dinner."
"Yes, go ahead. I just needed to tell you that."
Sirius Orion Black closed his front door. "I hate door-to-door salesmen," he muttered, collapsing onto his couch.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry Potter was crying. "Why did it get worse?" he asked the sky.
"I dunno," Ronald Weasley responded. "Chocolate?" he said, offering some to Harry.
"Sure," Harry said absently, accepting.
Suddenly, he gasped. "Chocolate! That's it! Ron, give me that!" he said, snatching it away.
"Geez, Harry, if you had wanted some more, all you had to do was ask," Ron told him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Blaise Zabini floated through a gigantic void. "Nice going, Draco."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco Malfoy floated through a gigantic void. From far off, he seemed to hear, "Nice going, Draco."
Draco sighed. He was not having a good day.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione Jane Granger was pacing the train. She glanced out a window, then resumed her pacing.
All of a sudden, she stopped short. "Wait a second!" she exclaimed, and whirled around. Yes, out of the window on her right, the sun was setting. She ran back down the train. Out of the window on her left, the sun was high. She checked her watch. It read two 'o' clock.
"What the—" she said, but was interrupted as a something hit her over the head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Severus!" Albus Percival Wulfric Brain Dumbledore called warningly, once more. He couldn't believe that Severus would go against his word.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Severus Snape was in a rather dire situation. He had gone against his word, been discovered, and he hadn't even gotten his reward. He was having a rather crappy day.
"Wait a second!" Dumbledore said. "What's that?" he said, pointing. Then he gasped. "Severus, you could have at least told Madam Pomfrey."
"Yes, but no one cares about Muggles who drop out of the sky," Snape said, exasperated.
"Maybe," Dumbledore said, "but she is one of Harry's only protection against Voldemort. Technically, she's his only adult blood relative."
"Yes, but no one cares about Potter. At least, I don't."
Dumbledore sighed. "Yes, but if Harry dies, the world is doomed."
"Good point."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Buh-duh?" Brian Zeogul asked again.
"What the heck is wrong with you, boy?" a loud voice said to him.
"Buh-duh?" BZ asked again.
The loud voice coming from the darkness (it was very dark in the rainforest where Brian Zeogul lived) sighed. "I give up," it said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Well? Good? Bad? Funny? Am I nuts? I AM NOT A NUT I AM A CASHEW! ...which, coincidentally, is not a nut. It has no shell. I'm just a fountain of useless information, huh?
Anyway. Just so you know, I write this fanfic without a rough draft, so most of this stuff is completely random and spur of the moment. And, miracle of miracles, the plot seems to be picking up.
So. Who likes coffee? IlikecoffeecoffeeisgooditgivesyouenergyandwakesyouupandIloveit.
Heh. I really did want to say that. It's funny.
Oh, if you've never read Cassandra Claire's Draco Trilogy, you should. I was finally convinced by my "friend" Sophie's sister, Nora, to read it, it really is great.
Acknowledgements and/or Thank You's:
Goddessgaia: Thank you! It was meant to be funny. Like I said in chapter 1, I was bored, so I started typing random things. And now look where it is!
Queen of Zan: Thank you for the feedback, there was a large lack of that this chapter, but then again, FF.net has been all, like, screwy and junk this week. And you're welcome for the extra effort. I love you too.
Cajun Rogue: Of course it made sense, everything makes sense when you're just barely not criminally insane. And thank you so much! And I really would miss you if you stopped reviewing, so please keep on!
tor-and-fenris: Yeah, Snape having a swearing problem is kinda distubing, but very effective! I dunno why...it just is. Oh, and, I mention all of my reviewers. But then, I have so few...it's not that difficult...But that doesn't mean I love you any less! Yay custard!
Sophie: Why are you not Mousiebead there, and why are you reviewing of chapter 5? I'm so confused. But, no, I was just kidding, review my stories all you want, it makes them look better. Repeat reviewers, UNITE!!
Mousiebead: Now, if I'm in love with a guy, do you REALLY think I'm gay? By the way, IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots.
So.
"That's magic. What you've got is heartbreak. Magic won't fix that." ...Yeah, I know, but I wish it could. *sigh*