Author's Notes: Ok, well I do not own Rugrats, only Nick does. This story is about what happens with the group enters high school and they've had to grow apart. In Lil's case, she's turned into another Angelica! Ok, now please read and review!
Extra Note: Hey! Guess what? I have a wallpaper for you, lucky people you! Since I have been going crazy because every time I start to write this story I immediately think of the characters on "Everwood", I figured I'd annoy you guys with it too! Haa. Really, if they were real people and in high school, this is how I'd see the Rats. It's like them in living color! This is a wallpaper I made because I was just playing around with Photoshop and yea, its set up like scenes from this chapter. So take a look please! Since they don't allow websites to be listed in fanfics, please go over to my profile and I have my fanfics/graphics site on there. Not a plug, I swear! Well, it is, but for a good reason. ^-^ Tell me that's not freaky? The similarities are crazy! Maybe that's why I instantly liked "Everwood" because it's a teenage "Rugrats"! Except the characters act well, exactly the opposite but well, you know.
Splintered Reflections
By Heather [TinySweetHeart]
--
Chapter Six: A Cold GrayOh there's a loneliness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
And though its red blood bleeding from her now
Felt like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mixed together to gray
-- "Gray Street" -- Dave Matthews Band --
--
The sun was still a vague gray object in the sky as they waited outside in the early morning. Kids were lined up down the block, maybe they should have come a little earlier but then again, waking up any time before eight on a Sunday was crazy talk. Wind laced with a chill scattered over the streets, bringing in a strange icy front. Kimmi was wearing a thin purple sweater and fitted dark jeans, her hair held back in a small headband. "Ok, how can it be this cold? Because it's still the end of August and last I checked that was the hottest month of the year," she complained and crossed her arms together.
Chuckie was staring ahead, at the dark ticket windows that hopefully would light up any minute now. Chuckie was dressed in a gray sweatshirt and jeans. "On the news it said it's going to be a bogus year for weather, like freak cold and hot days and stuff. Plus, its early morning. So yea, that does happen, Kim," he replied. Chuckie had thought about becoming a weatherman a few times actually and kept up on the news unlike his friends who could care less.
Kimmi just sighed and shrugged. "I don't even care really. It's keeping me awake... because my eyelids are frozen open," she retorted.
Phil stood in front of them, crossing his arms as well to keep warm in just a tee shirt layered over a long sleeved shirt and jeans. He turned to face them and smiled cheesily. "You're so hot you can't be cold," he said jokingly. Kimmi shot him a dismayed look and he added, "What? Didn't work?"
The girl laughed and said, "Nope."
Phil furrowed his brow like he was thinking before trying again, "Are those pants made of mirrors?"
Kimmi smiled and rolled her eyes. "Nope, not that either," she chimed.
Phil shook his head and mumbled, "Damn it. I really need to work on some new pick up lines."
Chuckie was standing behind them, towering above them slightly. He chuckled and remarked, "Yea, you do, dude. I don't know how you nabbed Abbey, unless she's big on clichés."
Kimmi's dark eyes reeled and she swallowed air. Abbey? "Abbey? Abbey... Keller? The girl who told Chuckie she liked you?" she questioned as unreadable as she could.
Phil looked a little regretful and he nodded, squinting into the pale gray of the sky. "Yea. I was going to tell you..." he began.
She tried to pretend she didn't just taste a flavor of shock and grief, that her eyes weren't glassing over. "You're dating her," she stated.
Chuckie gave her a little nudge in her back and exclaimed, "Isn't that great, sis? Abbey's so awesome and so pretty. Score for our buddy, Romeo!"
Kimmi was silent in return; she couldn't say anything without showing too much. Phil was looking at her when he said, "We just went out on one date Saturday. I don't even know if I'll go out with her again -"
She could hear Chuckie laugh behind her and snort, "What! You said you had a great time! You just had to call me and tell me all about it, Phil. Really trying to make me jealous huh?"
Phil glared over at him and responded flatly, "It wasn't that great. It was ok. I don't even know if I like her." She knew what he was doing, trying to soften the blow on her, and it made her feel even worse. Because she didn't want his... pity. God, really, she was fine. She was fine, and maybe if she kept repeating that in her head this stupid woozy feeling would go away.
Chuckie just smirked and rolled his eyes. "Whatever. If you don't, I know plenty of guys waiting in line, me included," he said.
Phil's eyes were on Kimmi though when she forced on a smile and commented in a taut voice, "Yea. That's so great, Phil. I'm sure you'll make such a cute couple."
Phil's gaze flickered over her face before he turned around again, not able to look at the hurt and anger floating in her eyes anymore. Kimmi just stared off into the slate horizon, glaring, her arms still crossed. She was angry; angry at Phil for leaning over that night and kissing her and filling her head with thoughts that he might actually like her when now she realized he never would. Chuckie stood behind them, completely clueless.
Finally the ticket booth flickered with light and then the line began to move. It was another fifteen minutes before they reached the front and Phil handed the woman his money. "Four tickets please," he said.
Chuckie stood near Phil and added to the woman, "Make that five."
Phil shot him a questioning look and asked, "Wha? Who else is going?"
Chuckie fought to not flush pink and he stared at his friend. "Angelica," he stated.
The boy's eyes swelled wide and he threw his hands up in repulsion. "What! No way do I want to spend time with that snob, Chuckie! Come on!" he shouted.
Chuckie gave him an exasperated look and actually didn't back down. He sighed, "Look, Phil, you don't have to spend time with her ok, we'll just stay to ourselves. But don't go around bashing her around me anymore."
Phil was a little taken aback. Had... Chuckie actually said that to him? There were too many things wrong with this situation right now. Phil just scowled and responded, "Well fine."
The woman behind the counter by now was giving them glares of annoyance. She began to rip out tickets when Kimmi said, "Make that six tickets." She was standing far back behind the boys, frowning and not even motioning to stand closer to them.
Phil swung around to look at her and cry sarcastically, "Great! Who else we inviting? Why not the whole school?"
Kimmi met his eyes with a hard stare and then pushed past him, dumping her money on the counter. "It's none of your business," she said icily and then turned and walked back towards the car, leaving the two boys to grab the tickets.
--
The gray morning turned into a gray day, seeming to cover the whole town in a haze of discolor. Bleak Sundays were the worst because there was nothing to do on them but stand around and think. Lillian was at her part time job, wiping down the counter of Café Le France and getting lost in her own thoughts while they had barely any customers. She was still too young to legally get a job but her mother was related to the owners, a second cousin or something, and they were happy to let her work here on the weekends. Lillian only wanted it to be able to afford all the expensive clothing her friends wore because unlike them, her parents didn't just hand her a credit card and tell her to go on shopping sprees. She was dressed in a long sleeved gray shirt and black pants, her longish chestnut hair collapsing over her shoulders.
When she looked up, she noticed someone sitting in a booth in the corner who she must have not seen come in. Quickly she wiped her hands on her apron and walked over. "Can I help you?" she greeted.
The dark haired girl looked up and smiled awkwardly. "Hey, Lillian. It's me, Kimmi Finister," she said.
Lillian grinned back a little surprised and responded with a laugh, "Hey. I think I'd remember you, Kimmi. So what's up?" She slid into the booth by Kimmi, there wasn't very many people in there anyway except for the old man who always came in every morning.
Kimmi shrugged and fingered the edge of the menu. "Nothing. Just hanging out. How's work?" she replied.
Lillian shrugged in return and said, "You know, the usual. Boring and mindless but oh well, all I care about is the paycheck." Lillian's eyes drifted to the tabletop and Kimmi's did as well, an uncomfortable silence falling over them. It felt like they hadn't spoken in years. God, they really hadn't talked in a long time, they had no idea what was going on in each other's lives any more and that felt strange and sad.
Lillian finally coughed and began, "So, uh, if you need more time to decide I can be right back -"
Kimmi shook her head and started to say hurriedly, "No, I know what I want. No, I mean, I came here to ask you something. We just got those Boxcar Racer tickets this morning and I know you wanted to go because Phil told me. I grabbed an extra one for you so you can just pay me back, or not, I don't care. But it would be awesome if you'd go with us to like hang out."
Lillian's hazel eyes were wide, she didn't expect Kimmi to ever want to talk to her again after... after she'd just up and ditched them. "Do the rest of the guys know too?" she breathed.
Kimmi shook her head and replied, "Not really, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind."
Lillian felt a tinge of regret and stood up, turning to begin to wipe off another table nearby, to not have to look at Kimmi and met her hopeful stare. "I don't know if Tommy told you but we got into a pretty huge fight the night I went over to help him study. So I don't think it's a good idea for me to go, we might kill each other," she said as an excuse and added a laugh.
"He did tell me. He also told me what it was about. And that's..." Kimmi began to say and then went on, slowly, "That's part of the reason I'm here. Because I've been thinking and you're right, Lil. We didn't try that hard to keep in touch with you, I didn't. I stopped calling and then when you never called back and hung out with us less and less, I just didn't try hard enough to stay friends with you. And I should have and I'm sorry."
Lillian could fill the guilt welling up in her eyes now and she couldn't believe it. Why did they always have to be so nice? This would be so much easier if they weren't, because Lillian had already decided what friends she'd have and those friends wouldn't like her old friends very much. And she, she needed to be able to act like she didn't even remember the old gang and she couldn't do that when they were always acting so kind to her. She stood and looked over, gripping her cloth. "Kimmi, Tommy was right. Way too much has changed already, I've changed too much. So for me to stand here and act like everything is the same isn't fair, to you guys. So I'm sorry, ok, Kimmi. I really am, but we... I just grew apart and it's too late," she replied.
Kimmi's face looked shocked and fallen, when the café manager came walking in through the back door. "Lillian! What's taking you so long?" she called, motioning to a gentleman waiting impatiently by the counter.
"Sorry, be right there!" Lillian responded and then glanced back at Kimmi with an apologetic stare before walking towards the counter.
--
The hallway was littered with kids but they all seemed to part when Angelica strode by. They better, at least they knew their place. She was dressed in a dark blue shirt and jeans with silver hoop earrings, her blonde hair down and straight. She had to smile to herself, life was great. People were in awe and fear of her and she ruled this school. What could be better?
"Angelica! Angelica, slow down!" she heard a familiar voice call and her smile melted from her face. She whirled around to see Chuckie weaving through people after her, grinning. Lowering her gaze, she stormed towards him and grabbed his arm, pulling him under the staircase where no one usually passed by.
Now in the dim shade, she hushed, "Shhh, not so loud."
Chuckie looked a little hurt when he replied, "What? Are you afraid someone will hear or something?" He was dressed in a yellow and brown tee shirt and jeans. Angelica noted he didn't look too bad today, actually pretty... ok.
Angelica softened slightly and rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid. Now get on with it already, Finister, I don't have all day," she sighed.
Chuckie retorted, "Forgot. People to insult, cheers to create." Her edged stare however stopped any further sarcasm and he went on to say, "Ok, well, guess what I got you?"
She made a slight irritated sound and responded, "Oh I don't know. A gun to shoot myself with?"
His grin faltered for a second as he shot jokingly, "Don't tempt me." Then there was that goofy smile again as he added excitedly, "A ticket to see Boxcar Racer!"
Why? Why did this boy think they could be friends, or more then friends? Why didn't he realize there was just no possible way? Why couldn't he figure out that kiss a few days ago, it was just... a slip up, a slight stagger in her act as perfect social butterfly? Why... Why did she have to get a strange breathless warm feeling whenever he was around, whenever they would trade their insults? "You're kidding," she said flatly.
The grin was still there as he replied, nervously, "Try not to get too excited. Come on, Angelica, it's only one of the best bands ever. I thought you'd wanna go. I mean, with me."
Angelica flinched slightly at his words, at how much he meant them. She reached over to touch his arm. "Chuckie, I just think -" she began to say.
"Angelica, there you are! We've been looking all over for you," they heard a girl's voice and their eyes both switched over to a few girls walking over towards them, members of the cheerleading squad. The one who had spoken, Niki, noticed Chuckie for the first time and gawked, "Oh. My God. What are you doing with this social reject?"
Chuckie glared at Niki before Angelica yanked away her arm quickly. "Ew! I so would never go on a date with you, like ever, Finister! Not even if you were the last boy on the planet! You're such a freckled face... loser!" she blurted to cover up.
Chuckie's dark eyes racked over Angelica painfully, she could see the hurt shining in them. He could have been sarcastic or witty back; he could have even been the new Chuckie and said something cruel. But he just couldn't find it in him and he responded softly, "I thought you changed, Angelica."
Her vivid ocean eyes met his and she spat, "Why would I! I like my life, thank you. After all, who would rule this school and you geeks beside me?" But she knew it all sounded forced and her stare was saying something else. It was saying, "I want to."
Niki and the others were giggling. "Come on, Angelica. He looks like he's about to cry," she said with a smile.
Angelica let her gaze linger on him for a moment longer before she turned and followed her friends towards the bright hallway. "Whatever. That'll teach him to try and talk to superior life forms. Like I would actually date him, puh-leaze! Barf to the extreme," he could hear her say as they drifted away. He stared ahead and wondered why he had to be such a fool all the time. Why did he even like her? Because from now on, it would be different, he'd have to make himself not care. Because she'd never change and he needed to stop thinking she ever would.
--
Phil stood in the lunch line, sandwiched in by some kid and Kimmi to his left. He leaned over to hand his lunch tray to a woman with peppered hair and a mustache. "Kathy, you're looking hotter then ever today. Your mole is working for you, like Cindy Crawford," he said with a wink referring to her hairy mole on her cheek and every student within earshot cracked with laughter. The lunch lady just glared in response, use to Phil already, and plopped a burger down on his tray before shoving it back at him.
Kimmi tried to hide her giggles but smiled and retorted, "You better watch out. I bet that burger has a nice helping of spit to go along with it." She was dressed in faded jeans with rips at the knees and a white long sleeved top, her hair down.
Phil crinkled his nose and opened up the bun to peer at his food. "Jeesh, try to brighten a few ladies' lives and suddenly you're a creep," he sighed. He was wearing a gray long sleeved shirt with a red stripe and jeans.
Kimmi smirked and responded matter-of-factly, "I never said you were a creep, just a complete jerk wad."
They walked over to the condiments table and Phil responded with a grin, "You're a true friend, Kimmi Finister." Then looking down, he started nonchalantly, "Uh about this morning, Kimmi. I was going to tell you, honest. I mean we're best friends so of course I would, right."
She tried not to think about how the 'best friend' word stung. Instead she focused her eyes at the ketchup and forced with fake happiness, "You going out with her again?"
Phil glanced over at her, suddenly he wasn't sure if he wanted her to be ok with this or tell him she wasn't. He shrugged then and said, "I told her I would, yea. I don't know, she's ok. I mean she's smart and cute but she's not really really funny. You know."
There he went again, trying to make her feel better, like this girl wasn't as great as he'd told Chuckie she was and Kimmi just wanted to scream. She didn't need this, she didn't need him to feel sorry for her. She turned to meet his eyes and snap coldly, "I get it, Phil. Just, stop. Ok. You don't need to try to make me feel better or explain anything. Because I get it, and I'm ok with it. You just didn't want to be with me because you couldn't see me that way. That's fine."
Phil searched her face with surprise and replied, "No. I mean, yea. Right? Isn't that what we said?"
Kimmi could feel the hurt and anger building up in her eyes and started to walk away, towards their table. Phil followed and she said without looking at him, "Yea, it is. Because I'm just a friend. Don't worry, Phil. I'm just regular, sporty, funny Kimmi. I'm not surprised ok, it's just like Izaac said. It's ok."
The boy's voice rose with protective temper as he countered, "No, it's not ok! Izaac's an idiot and a punk and..." Breathing in, he stopped and grabbed the petite girl's arm gently, making her stop. She turned to face him, her eyes haunting with hard sadness, and he questioned, "Look, Kimmi. Are you mad or something? Because if you are I don't have to go out with Abbey -"
She blinked at her feelings to press them down and reply in a strained voice, "No. I'm fine, Phil. Go out with, Abbey. I don't care."
He stared at her, not knowing what to say, his hand still holding onto her. "Hey, Philly! Over here, saved you a seat!" they heard a girl's voice and Phil let go of Kimmi and turned. A slender girl with medium length brown hair and tan skin was smiling at him and gesturing to a seat by her.
"In a minute, Abs," Phil called in response. Then he looked back towards Kimmi and his eyes were filled with concern. "I don't have to sit with her," he said.
Kimmi tried to close her eyes against a hot swell of dampness and she responded quietly, "Yes you do. You're dating her and you're sitting with her and I don't care." Then she walked away from him, towards their table with Chuckie and Tommy and didn't look back. If she would have, she would have seen Phil watching after her with confusion and regret.
--
Tommy and Phil hung out at the DeVille's house after their practices. Well really just sat around, being bored and saying close to nothing, distracted by their own thoughts. Tommy was sitting on Phil's computer desk chair, twirling around slowly in it. He was dressed in darker jeans and a black long sleeved shirt. "What do you think they're doing in there?" he questioned, which if Phil wasn't wondering the same exact thing he probably would have noticed how much Tommy cared.
Phil lay on his plaid bed, leaning back against a pillow and tossing up a mini basketball. "Not studying that's for sure. Probably making out like horny rabbits. On the blanket my nana gave us. O God, I think I'm going to be sick. Don't say stuff like that," he cringed, referring to Brett and Lillian who had headed to her room hand in hand when they came back from their practices as well.
Tommy looked equally as concerned but he continued circling, noting for the record, "I wasn't, you were."
Phil rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Well whatever. Really, Brett? He's all hair, no brains, you know."
Tommy nodded in agreement and commented, "And, I mean, what kind of name is Brett? Brett?" Ok that was stupid, but so what? He could make fun of this guy's name because he was a loser and just not good enough for Lillian. And a part of him told him he was jealous but he tried to ignore it.
Phil shook his head of light brown hair and said, "Ok, we need to stop talking about whether or not my sister may or may not be going all the way in the other room."
Tommy raised his eyebrows and exclaimed, "She's not! Phil, they're not even steady." He wanted to believe it too because anything else made him feel sick to his stomach.
Phil shrugged his shoulders and retorted, "Hey, for all I know, my sister could be a slut." Tommy paused from swiveling around in the chair to glare at Phil. His friend just nodded and sighed, "Ok, dropping it."
Tommy rested his feet on the table and raised his hands for Phil to toss him the ball. "Hey, nice way to ditch us during lunch, dude," he stated abruptly.
Phil groaned and leaned his head back to stare up at his ceiling. "That's not my fault, its Abbey's. Great girl, hot as anything, sweet. But she's so clingy and likes to use stupid nicknames like "sugar lips" and "Philly". It's embarrassing to me as a man, Tommy. Why... Was, uh, Kimmi mad about that?" he said and tried to sound casual.
Tommy just shrugged and threw the ball back at him. "A little. But we all were. That was pretty cold, ditching us for a girl," he responded. He could have suggested next time Phil invite Abbey to sit with the group but well, he really didn't want her sitting with them. Because he knew Abbey and while she was nice, she was also annoying and she was so smart in the condescending way that she always had to make you feel stupid when you talked to her.
"I know, won't happen again," Phil replied. Still looking up, he questioned, "So she... Really wasn't mad huh?"
Tommy cocked an eyebrow and replied knowingly, "Ok, what's going on with you two? Did something happen I don't know about?"
Phil looked back at Tommy and chucked the ball at him for him to catch. "What! No. Nothing at all, I was just wondering because she was acting really weird about the whole thing," he hurriedly explained.
Tommy nodded and then remembered something. He slid a hand in his pocket and stood up. "O yea, she gave me this to give to you. Said its an extra one encase you wanna bring along "Abs". Her words, not mine," he said and handed Phil a ticket to the concert.
Phil stared down at the paper and wondered aloud, "Really? You think I should?"
Tommy shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Dunno, its up to you. If I had a girlfriend I'd invite her," he responded.
Phil put the ticket on his nightstand and responded, "Right. I dunno. Abbey probably doesn't even know who they are; she's into Britney Spears. Yup, I know, like I said, its embarrassing to my manhood." He couldn't say the real reason, that maybe he was worried Kimmi was putting on an act and this really was affecting her... And why did he feel like he was hoping it was?
Tommy laughed, "Yea, I wouldn't spread that around if I were you." Then he added, "You think I could get a drink or something?"
Phil nodded and sat up, his hair in messy disarray. "Yea, me too. I'm feeling parched myself," he replied.
Tommy followed Phil out the bedroom door, arcing an eyebrow. ""Parched"? Ok, since when do you use big words, Phil?" he joked.
"Hey, it's a word in the English language I just decided I needed to use more often ok," Phil remarked before sighing and admitting, "Abbey's so smart I feel stupid in comparison so I've been trying to bulk up, you know, play smart."
Tommy winced and said wisely, "Uh oh, already changing for her. That doesn't look good, dude."
Phil shook his head and exclaimed, "Not change! Just... broaden my horizons."
They walked into the kitchen, hearing a set of laughter echoing along the peach tiles. Lillian was leaning against the sink, a glass of water in her hand. She was wearing a black tank top and dark fitted jeans with a little silver heart necklace, her hair all down. Brett was standing in front of her and he looked over towards Phil with a nod and an expression that said he could understand why Phil might hate him, like he would towards any guy who was dating his sister.
The smile slipped from her lips as Lillian greeted, "Hey, loser."
Phil just nodded in their direction and continued towards the cupboards. "Ladies," he responded.
Brett raised his eyebrows and exchanged a faint smile with Lillian. "I think I'm gonna head back to your room," the blonde boy said and left the kitchen.
Lillian remarked after him, mainly for her brother to hear, "I think you should. We just got a downpour of jerk in here."
Phil just tilted his head back to call after Brett, "Don't forget to bag it!"
Lillian's lips parted and she wrinkled her nose at him. "Gross, Phil. Do you always have to be so disgusting? O wait, forgot its your one and only talent," she retorted.
Phil placed two glasses on the counter and then started filling them up with tap water. "Do you always have to be whoring it up? And in our own house, ma would be proud," he shot back.
Lillian didn't think she should tell her brother there was none of that going on in her room, that they were really only hanging out and a little kissing here and there but that was it. It felt better to make him feel sick with doubt about it. "Well someone has to. I mean, you're still interested in the opposite sex right, Phillip? Haven't switched teams yet?" she questioned with a laugh over the lip of her glass.
Phil shut off the faucet and glared at her. "Hilarious. I'll have you know, I have a girlfriend," he replied.
Lillian raised her eyebrows and asked with a smile, "Really? Who's the lucky fella? Will I get to meet him?" Tommy had to stifle his laughter at this, Lillian and Phil were always so funny together, even now when they acted like they really did hate each other but of course they didn't.
Phil glowered and deadpanned, "Har har har. Stick to waving around pom poms and spelling, ok." He handed Tommy his water and then leaned against the counter near his sister.
She smiled at him smugly and blinked her eyelashes. "I got an A on my English paper. Get ready for mom and dad to be completely gushing over me," she said.
Phil just
shrugged unimpressed and replied, "Yea well, I got a C on my history test so at
least that's not failing."
Lillian elbowed him for his bad grade and then added, "I wouldn't tell them about that. Then again, you are close to retarded so they might let it slide." Tommy really did laugh at that and Phil shot him a scowl.
"Yea, well we all know the only way you get the grades you do is because you're going for "extra credit" with half your teachers," Phil retorted.
The girl gasped in disgust and shouted, "Phil, sick!" She raised her glass and threw the remaining water at him; it splashed in a wet patch on his shirt, whatever missed spilling on the floor. She knew how meticulous he was about his clothing, he took as long as she did to get ready in the morning usually.
Phil looked down and his mouth fell open. "Hey! I'm soaked!" he exclaimed huffily.
Lillian and Tommy were both fighting laughter as Lillian responded, "That was sorta the idea, genius. Help me clean this up now." She pointed to the puddle of water that had landed on the tiles.
Phil pulled his damp shirt away from his skin and snorted, "Yea right, dearest sister of mine. You're on your own, I'm gonna go change." Then he stomped off to his room and the two burst into loud laughter after him. Lillian clutched her slender middle and held onto the counter. "Hey, I hear you guys!" Phil shouted muffled and they quieted immediately, stifling their chuckles.
Lillian then grabbed a few sheets of paper towels and kneeled down to start sopping up the mess. Tommy went over to place his glass in the sink and offered, "Here, I'll help." He grabbed some paper towel and kneeled down too.
Lillian looked down at the floor, smiling slightly. "No, Tommy. That's fine, really. It's not your fault, it's my idiot brothers. Seriously, you don't have to," she replied.
Tommy just grinned back and shrugged. "It's ok. I'm use to covering for him anyway," he said and Lillian laughed softly.
As they continued to soak up the water, Lillian stopped, resting on her hands and staring down at the tiles. "Tommy, really... Why?" she suddenly questioned.
Tommy stopped too and looked over at her. "Why what?" he asked curiously.
She still couldn't meet his eyes as she went on, "Why are you so nice all the time? You're so nice. And I... I hate being mean to you."
Tommy's eyes flickered over the kitchen when he replied, a little confused and harsh, "Then don't."
Lillian sat back now on her knees, staring at him, her moss eyes matching his and looking so guilty. Tommy sat up too on his knees, looking straight across at her. "So what then, just be nice to you in private and ignore you in public? But if I'm friends with you and the others in school, Angelica and her friends will avoid me. I just want to keep my old friends and my new friends, I just wish I could. I just wish I didn't feel torn in two all the time, like I'm not even sure who I am. I just..." she trailed off and her eyes reflected wet in the light scattering from the window. She bit her bottom lip before continuing, "All I ever am is a witch to you now, in school and around everyone. And you're still always there for me. First in Phil's room and at your house and now... You're always there, and I don't deserve having such a nice guy like you in my life."
Tommy would have agreed with her, would have told her everything she said was true and she treated them, him, like they didn't even matter anymore. Only he couldn't stop himself from feeling like he just wanted her to feel ok and not have all this guilt and sadness welling up in her. He replied, "Lillian. It's ok, really. I know, I know none of this is your fault, ok." A tear made a track down the map of her skin and reflexively he reached out and pulled her close to him. Both kneeling, his arms around her, she leaned her cheek into his shoulder. "It's my fault too. I should have tried talking to you or, I don't know, noticed," he went on.
She shook her head slightly against him and squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears burn holes into her eyelids. "No, its not. Its all my fault and I'm sorry, Tommy. I really am," she responded softly.
Tommy held her and she fit so perfectly near him, her hands resting at his sides and his around her waist. He breathed in her vanilla and flowers perfume, feeling each other's warmth. He leaned his cheek against her head, her hair stirring his skin, and tried not to let this feel too good or he'd never want to let go. They sat like this for long moments before finally Tommy said into her hair to fill the silence, "Kimmi told me, about how she got that ticket for you. I think you should go." (Even if now that ticket is necessarily meant for Abbey, Phil already said he probably wouldn't bring her. Then there's the one for Angelica who we now know isn't going. Just wanted to clear that up!)
Lillian held onto him and could feel the cooling spot of tears in his shirt. "You do?" she questioned quietly.
Tommy nodded near her and replied, "Yea. Just... Just think about it ok."
Lillian didn't want to let go; there was something about this that just felt right. She clutched onto his sides and pressed her cheek into the side of his head. "Ok," she said into his ear.
"Lillian? Babe, something wrong?"
Brett's voice broke through the comforting quiet and Lillian pulled away from Tommy slowly, looking down. "No," she called towards the hallway. She grabbed at a paper towel on the floor to continue mopping up the water.
Tommy looked down and started to help clean as well. "I'll finish up," he said.
Lillian gazed over at him and looked hesitant. She smiled slightly and responded, "Really? Ok, thanks, Tommy." Then she wiped at her cheeks with a hand and got up. He heard her walk down the hall and her muffled voice as she started to speak with Brett and the door closed behind her. And as he kneeled there, cleaning up the mess alone, he distantly knew that nice guys finished last, but with her, he couldn't help it.
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Author's Notes: First off, I have nothing against Britney Spears at all! I actually like her and have been to her concert. That said, come on, everyone jokes about artists, so yea, I'm sure Phil even likes her, he's just being sarcastic. Also, if you remember, chapter two I said Phil had space ship blankets. Now either his mother changes them from summer to winter like my mom does or he got embarrassed by having them. Lol. Really, I just wanted to use that "Everwood" picture in the wallpaper.
Ahh, the old cliché of nice guys finish last! But seriously, that just fit perfectly with the story because Tommy is always there for Lillian, he even invited her to the concert again after she ignored him with her friends the first time. This could be a little bit of a continuous theme. Just expect not to like Lillian so much next chapter. =/ Of course, I'd never make Lillian a real jerk because she's one of my favorite characters! And who exactly is this Abbey girl except a huge roadblock in the way of P/K? Hee. I know she came out of nowhere, that was sorta the point, but she doesn't play a big part in this story and she's not in this for long. (Big hint, haha) Kimmi seems like the only one getting the short end of the stick but believe me, its not like other boys don't like her. Its just that maybe she won't give them the chance for unknown reasons... Angelica is right back in her old form, maybe because she knew Chuckie was getting through that hard shell of hers. Chuckie's finally given up, but we've already seen he's starting to change from awkward to more mature, it's only a matter of time before Angelica and other girls realizes how cool he is right?
Ok well I made a full plot list of what's going to happen in this story and yea, there will be a lot. Expect parties and twists and ice-skating and more angsty love!