Disclaimer: I'm poor. Do you really think I've ever written and published
ANY books?
Author's Note: Nothing to say. Sorry for the lack of updating, but I'm posting two more chapters tomorrow, so stop complaining.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Series of Coincidences That Just Happen to Look Like a Plot (finally!)
by: Queen of Zan
Coinkydink Eight (wow, for something with no plot, this is amazingly long)
Hermione Jane Granger awoke with a headache. After all, she had been knocked out for two days.
"WHAT?!?" she shouted in response to the above line.
She checked her watch. 2:45.
"What the—?" she said, but, once again, was interrupted.
"Dang!" a loud, somehow unfamiliar voice said. "She wasn't supposed to wake up for another two days!"
"And how do you figure that?" Hermione said, rubbing her head as she got up. She turned around and was faced by—someone completely unremarkable.
The someone completely unremarkable was a teenage girl with chin-length, wavy, dark brown hair, wearing a tropical print blue and white tube top under a long sleeved black button-up blouse, a worn pair of jeans, and black boots. Coincidentally, she was wearing mismatched cartoon character socks under those boots, but you couldn't see them. I just wanted to waste time describing stuff so that this chapter seems longer.
"Because it said so a few lines back. Or something like it," the someone completely unremarkable replied.
"Wait—how did you get on the train? I didn't see you on the platform," Hermione asked, rightfully suspicious.
"The author magicked me here," the completely unremarkable someone responded.
"But why did you knock me out?" Hermione asked.
"I didn't. The author did."
"But why?"
"Suspense. Besides, it helps create the illusion of a plot."
"Oh."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Ron!" Harry shouted into Ron's ear.
"What?" Ron replied, bewildered.
"I dunno, Sophie writing."
"Wait a second," I said. "Sophie isn't writing this, I am! And that line is in one of HER fics! Sophie has corrupted my mind!"
"Er—" Ron and Harry both said.
"Okay," I continued, "Harry, read the lines as written. Action!"
"Um," Harry said, brow knotted (or knitted. I can't decide which.), "Miss Author Person, this isn't a movie. Or TV show. Or music video. There aren't any cameras for miles around."
"Whoops. Um, still, read the line as written. That was NOT what you were supposed to say. In fact, YOU don't even say it in Sophie's fic."
"Whatever," Harry said, exasperated. "Can we please get back to our crisis?"
"Wha? OH! Sure, go ahead," I said, disappearing in a puff of smoke.
"Ron, I—crap, I forgot what I was going to say," Harry said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco floated through a gigantic void.
"I have the strangest feeling of deja vu," he commented.
Suddenly, he realized that he was thoroughly sick of the gigantic void.
"Hey!" he shouted. "Hey!" More demandingly this time. "Miss Author Person, Muggle, get your ass over here and talk to me!"
"Tut-tut, Draco, language," I said, poofing into existence in front of him, upside down. Or so he thought. In reality, it was him who was upside down, but he didn't need to know that.
"Shut up! Just—" He suddenly realized that if he wasn't polite to me, I just might keep him in that void. And I would've! I think. Maybe. Well, no, I wouldn't've, but he thought I would, so, he got all nice. In truth, he was scary when he was nice. He sighed. "Miss Author Person—"
"Call me Zany," I interrupted him.
He rolled his eyes. "Zany, could you please get re-involved in this? I really am not fond of this void."
"Neither am I. In fact, I think I'll leave."
"WAIT!" Draco called, but alas, to no avail. I was already gone.
"Fuck."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Blaise Zabini floated through a gigantic void.
"I have the strangest feeling of deja vu," he commented.
"So do we!" several readers chorused from the audience.
"Shut up!" Blaise shouted. They did so.
Suddenly, he realized that he was thoroughly sick of the gigantic void. Actually, he had known it all along, but it's more fun to say it as if he hadn't, it creates a sense of familiarity.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Brian Zeogul decided that the voice was scary. "Buh-duh!" he screamed. But no one came.
"Oh, shut up boy, I'm trying to think," the voice said, lighting a cigar.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: So. That's it. I know I didn't do much plot advancement, but for Pete's sake, people, I'm doing two more chapters tomorrow! Cut me some slack!
Thank you's:
Cajun Rogue: I really am sorry about the cheesecake. And I just made a really embarrassing mistake...Hey, that rhymed!
Calico-tabby: Yay! Id-gits of the world, UNITE!!!
tor-and-fenris: Yay! JIM-MY! JIM-MY! ...Oops...I mean, YAY, CUSTARD!
So, bye! See you, uh, tomorrow then! (JIM-MY! JIM-MY! JIM-MY!)
Author's Note: Nothing to say. Sorry for the lack of updating, but I'm posting two more chapters tomorrow, so stop complaining.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A Series of Coincidences That Just Happen to Look Like a Plot (finally!)
by: Queen of Zan
Coinkydink Eight (wow, for something with no plot, this is amazingly long)
Hermione Jane Granger awoke with a headache. After all, she had been knocked out for two days.
"WHAT?!?" she shouted in response to the above line.
She checked her watch. 2:45.
"What the—?" she said, but, once again, was interrupted.
"Dang!" a loud, somehow unfamiliar voice said. "She wasn't supposed to wake up for another two days!"
"And how do you figure that?" Hermione said, rubbing her head as she got up. She turned around and was faced by—someone completely unremarkable.
The someone completely unremarkable was a teenage girl with chin-length, wavy, dark brown hair, wearing a tropical print blue and white tube top under a long sleeved black button-up blouse, a worn pair of jeans, and black boots. Coincidentally, she was wearing mismatched cartoon character socks under those boots, but you couldn't see them. I just wanted to waste time describing stuff so that this chapter seems longer.
"Because it said so a few lines back. Or something like it," the someone completely unremarkable replied.
"Wait—how did you get on the train? I didn't see you on the platform," Hermione asked, rightfully suspicious.
"The author magicked me here," the completely unremarkable someone responded.
"But why did you knock me out?" Hermione asked.
"I didn't. The author did."
"But why?"
"Suspense. Besides, it helps create the illusion of a plot."
"Oh."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Ron!" Harry shouted into Ron's ear.
"What?" Ron replied, bewildered.
"I dunno, Sophie writing."
"Wait a second," I said. "Sophie isn't writing this, I am! And that line is in one of HER fics! Sophie has corrupted my mind!"
"Er—" Ron and Harry both said.
"Okay," I continued, "Harry, read the lines as written. Action!"
"Um," Harry said, brow knotted (or knitted. I can't decide which.), "Miss Author Person, this isn't a movie. Or TV show. Or music video. There aren't any cameras for miles around."
"Whoops. Um, still, read the line as written. That was NOT what you were supposed to say. In fact, YOU don't even say it in Sophie's fic."
"Whatever," Harry said, exasperated. "Can we please get back to our crisis?"
"Wha? OH! Sure, go ahead," I said, disappearing in a puff of smoke.
"Ron, I—crap, I forgot what I was going to say," Harry said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Draco floated through a gigantic void.
"I have the strangest feeling of deja vu," he commented.
Suddenly, he realized that he was thoroughly sick of the gigantic void.
"Hey!" he shouted. "Hey!" More demandingly this time. "Miss Author Person, Muggle, get your ass over here and talk to me!"
"Tut-tut, Draco, language," I said, poofing into existence in front of him, upside down. Or so he thought. In reality, it was him who was upside down, but he didn't need to know that.
"Shut up! Just—" He suddenly realized that if he wasn't polite to me, I just might keep him in that void. And I would've! I think. Maybe. Well, no, I wouldn't've, but he thought I would, so, he got all nice. In truth, he was scary when he was nice. He sighed. "Miss Author Person—"
"Call me Zany," I interrupted him.
He rolled his eyes. "Zany, could you please get re-involved in this? I really am not fond of this void."
"Neither am I. In fact, I think I'll leave."
"WAIT!" Draco called, but alas, to no avail. I was already gone.
"Fuck."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Blaise Zabini floated through a gigantic void.
"I have the strangest feeling of deja vu," he commented.
"So do we!" several readers chorused from the audience.
"Shut up!" Blaise shouted. They did so.
Suddenly, he realized that he was thoroughly sick of the gigantic void. Actually, he had known it all along, but it's more fun to say it as if he hadn't, it creates a sense of familiarity.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Brian Zeogul decided that the voice was scary. "Buh-duh!" he screamed. But no one came.
"Oh, shut up boy, I'm trying to think," the voice said, lighting a cigar.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: So. That's it. I know I didn't do much plot advancement, but for Pete's sake, people, I'm doing two more chapters tomorrow! Cut me some slack!
Thank you's:
Cajun Rogue: I really am sorry about the cheesecake. And I just made a really embarrassing mistake...Hey, that rhymed!
Calico-tabby: Yay! Id-gits of the world, UNITE!!!
tor-and-fenris: Yay! JIM-MY! JIM-MY! ...Oops...I mean, YAY, CUSTARD!
So, bye! See you, uh, tomorrow then! (JIM-MY! JIM-MY! JIM-MY!)