Chapter Five: Strange Days Have Found Us
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I would be richer than god. As I am still sitting here, that doesn't appear to be the case.
A/N: Okay, huge apologies over the lack of updates for ::checks:: nine or so months. I had a ton of computer troubles, the whole story got deleted, the hard drive crashed, said hard drive had to be replaced, I got stuck with way too much work and not enough time…you get the picture. Giara Gryffindor left me a review that said, and I quote: 'Ahem, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, UPDATE!' So, I finally got around to setting aside the time to write this chapter. I know it's short, but I'm trying my hardest to get this story back from wherever it is it meandered off to.
And, in better news, I think I've figured out the formatting finally.
And on with the chapter!
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Harry lay awake for a long time that night, first because of what had somehow become labelled in his mind: The Kiss, and then because his headache came back with all of hell's vengeance. He wanted to get up and get something for it, but somehow couldn't bring himself to move.
Potion, pain killer potion, come over here without me having to move to get you…he thought, not even lifting his head.
The painkiller potion, of course, didn't move, but he hadn't exactly been expecting it to, he was powerful, but not quite that powerful. Or at least, not yet.
Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. I need to do something about the headache, pain thing. It's not Tom, he fixed that, it shouldn't be this place, I've never known places to set off pain reactions – besides, isn't the place linked to Tom, so if he doesn't effect me, neither would the place? – and I can't think of anything else it could be. Am I sick? Do I have some sort of disease that is making itself apparent? Dear gods, why me?
Even as he mentally complained to himself, part of him, the newer part that was cold and detached, chided him for weakness. He wondered if perhaps he might have been going mad? Did madness start with a split of your mind? Or was this, possibly, how Tom Riddle had become Lord Voldemort initially, a split of his personality, not too bad, but just enough to have part of him think poorly of some quality he possessed? Did the old Harry Potter, the gullible one who had believed the lies still exist beneath the collected exterior?
That's it; I've finally gone mad.
This wasn't normally a comforting thought, however, in that case it did help lull him off to sleep. It was a certainty, a constant, something that he could hold onto as literal fact. And that in and of itself was immensely comforting. Concrete facts seemed to be in short supply right about then, anything he could grasp, could cling to, was helpful.
Unfortunately, any comfort gained was lost almost immediately due to the nightmares that plagued him once he did find sleep.
They were nightmares of the worst kind, the ones that were all sensation, all feeling, nothing tangible that you could see or hear or touch. It was the kind of nightmare from which he felt absolute terror and loss, feelings without reason or, really, cause; the loss was the worst of all, because with it came pain, horrible pain. Terror and loss and devastating pain, and nothing to see or hear, no noticeable cause, the worst nightmare he could ever remember having because there was no way to rationalize it, no way to push it away, no way to claw your way out by pulling towards reality. Reality was just too far away, a faint light gleaming somewhere just beyond your line of sight, and every time you turned your head, it seemed to dance away, to linger again out the corner of your eye, where you could sense it, but never really catch a glimpse.
Harry woke up sobbing less than an hour after falling asleep, dry, heaving sobs followed by tears that burned his eyes like acid and made his cheeks feel raw. That part of him that had kept him together by chiding him for weakness was conspicuously silent.
He didn't sleep again that night; the headache had just become the least of his problems.
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As I said, sorry for the shortness, I'm trying to collect my thoughts to work on this again; this was what I could come up with right now.
Please be kind and leave a review, reviews do motivate me.