Okies. Don't own these peeps, yadda yadda. And yes I know this is a blatent Monty Python rip off. I don't care. I was in a silly mood.
(The Raouls and Phantom rejects are sitting around)
Anatole: Can we build the giant wooden badger now?
D'aubert: No, that's stupid. We're going to build a giant wooden rabbit.
Anatole: And this is better how?
DA: Question.
D'aubert: What?
DA: What exactly does this rabbit DO?
D'aubert: You'll see when we've finished.
POTA: What do we have to lose?
(A while later. After much cursing, splinters, and table saw injuries)
Swan: Ok, so the rabbit's done. Now what?
D'aubert: To the lair!!
(They all wheel the thing down to the lair, running over the POM twice, although sadly he was not seriously injured. They float it across the underground lake and go into hiding. a few of the Phantoms emerge and bring the rabbit inside)
DA: Now what?
D'aubert: We wait until they're all asleep...then Swan, Anatole, POTA, and I will leap out of the rabbit. Thus taking them by surprise and completely unarmed.
POM: Who leaps out of the rabbit?
D'aubert: Swan, Anatole...oh...ummm.
Anatole: I told you we should have built a giant wooden badger!
(a noise startles them. They look up and see the rabbit, now on fire, careening towards them)
All: AAAGGGHHHH! Run away! Run away!!
(inside the lair)
LC: I think we should just put them out of our misery.
ALW: Did you see who was with the Raouls?? Betrayed by some of our own!
Phan: I wouldn't worry TOO much. They aren't that smart.
O: Obviously. Who builds a giant wooden rabbit?
DB: Badgers are much better!
O: Shut up.
CT: (mumbling and flailing about)
Phan: I told you guys not to hide his mask!
SK: But we didn't hide it!
A: We lost it!
Phan: You what?!
A: It was an accident. It was all Eric's fault!!!!
POTM: It was not!
LC: Oh really? Who was playing frisbee with it by the lake? Hm?
POTM: Winslow threw it too hard!
POTP: Not my fault you've got a sissy catching arm.
POTM: I do not!!!
Phan: Well, no sense arguing. But he does need another mask. He's driving me up the wall.
RE: Want me to just kill him? Save us all a lot of trouble.
YK: That's your answer to EVERYTHING isn't it? just kill it.
Phan: Well he needs a mask. Now let me see....Who has tons of extra masks that they don't hardly ever use.....(gaze drifting to CD)
CD: No! No, no, NO!
Phan: Why not?? You have a TON! You can't possibly wear them all at once.
CD: Watch me! (starts putting on masks one on top of the other)
Phan: You're being childish.
CD: But he'll get them all funky!
Phan: (rolling her eyes) UGH! Fine, be that way! (turning to YK with puppy dog eyes) Pleeeese can he use one of your masks? He's driving me up the wall!
YK: Well let's see. (rummaging through his masks) Not my formal one. He'll smudge it. I need my demon one in case I need to take some drastic action.... Then there's my...
Phan: Never mind. I have one in my carry on at my hotel... I'll be right back. Please don't kill each other.
W: Why can't one of you two just lend the silent wonder a mask?
HL: Should she really be going out alone?
CR: What are they going to do? Throw a badger on her?
Phan: I'm not exactly helpless you know.
LC: Obviously, but some of us do feel a little responsible for you.
RE: We do?
LC: Those of us with morals anyhow.
RE: Hey! I may not be as classy as YOU but don't treat me like scum.
DS: We wouldn't accord you the honor of scum.
RE: Well la-te-da! At least I'M not a turn coat like the jerks with the Raouls. You'd be DEAD if I were!
SK: You wanna bet?
A:I could take you down!
DB: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
RE: You stay out of this, ADD boy!
HL: Someone hasn't been going to his anger management class.
POTM: He went until he killed the instructor.
Phan: I'll be back in a little while. Settle this. (Walks off)
O: Well you have to admit. The instructor was a little too...sickeningly sweet.
ALW: Why they let Barney teach it in the first place is beyond me....
CD: (still shoving masks on his face while taking inventory) 26, 27, 28...
A: You know you don't have to do that. She went to get a mask.
CD: I just wanted to see if I could do it.
W: You lead a sad sad life....
(meanwhile back at the fop house)
DA: All right, so Plan B failed too.
Anatole: So now what?
D'aubert: I'm calling my roommie again.
POTA: He didn't help last time. What makes you think he'll help this time?
Anatole: Inspecteur D'aubert is out of ideas!
D'aubert: Shut up. (dials Inspector Javert)
Javert's voice: What do you want? I'm busy? (sounds of running)
D'aubert: Ah! Still chasing your con, eh? That's the spirit!
Javert's voice: No...(more running) One of those Les Mis fans found me. I'm running for my life!
Fan's voice: Come back Snookums! I want to give you a makeover!
Javert's voice: Noooooo! (click)
Anatole: What'd he say?
D'aubert: When I figure it out myself, I'll tell you.
Swan: We can't just sit around here. We have to do SOMETHING.
Fop: I know!
POM: This oughtta be good.
Fop: Let's play Twister!
Anatole: Somehow, that's not what we had in mind.
DA: Why don't you sit down before you hurt yourself?
(Fop crawls off dejected)
(The Phan, having gotten her collection of masks from her hotel [a collection that would have rivaled CD's], is picking her way back to the lair. On her way she decides it might be fruitive to eavesdrop on the fops, and possibly take them down for the fun of it)
POTA: Why don't we just make a full frontal assault and call it good?
Anatole: They'd shred us!
Swan: I don't care what we do. As long as we do something. And I call killing the Phan. I have a score to settle with her.
POM: Not on your life! I'm taking her down! (grumbles) Lousy little Phan anyhow....Not being nice to me....
DA: Oh cry me a river!
Fop: No! She made me use my brain!
D'aubert: ...I think we all know who wins the Pathetic Contest....
(the Phan walks back to the lair feeling incredibly intellegent compaired to the morons in the fop house. Her good mood disintegrates when she finds the Phantoms once again fighting.)
Phan: (sighs) Can't leave them alone for a second....
(The Raouls and Phantom rejects are sitting around)
Anatole: Can we build the giant wooden badger now?
D'aubert: No, that's stupid. We're going to build a giant wooden rabbit.
Anatole: And this is better how?
DA: Question.
D'aubert: What?
DA: What exactly does this rabbit DO?
D'aubert: You'll see when we've finished.
POTA: What do we have to lose?
(A while later. After much cursing, splinters, and table saw injuries)
Swan: Ok, so the rabbit's done. Now what?
D'aubert: To the lair!!
(They all wheel the thing down to the lair, running over the POM twice, although sadly he was not seriously injured. They float it across the underground lake and go into hiding. a few of the Phantoms emerge and bring the rabbit inside)
DA: Now what?
D'aubert: We wait until they're all asleep...then Swan, Anatole, POTA, and I will leap out of the rabbit. Thus taking them by surprise and completely unarmed.
POM: Who leaps out of the rabbit?
D'aubert: Swan, Anatole...oh...ummm.
Anatole: I told you we should have built a giant wooden badger!
(a noise startles them. They look up and see the rabbit, now on fire, careening towards them)
All: AAAGGGHHHH! Run away! Run away!!
(inside the lair)
LC: I think we should just put them out of our misery.
ALW: Did you see who was with the Raouls?? Betrayed by some of our own!
Phan: I wouldn't worry TOO much. They aren't that smart.
O: Obviously. Who builds a giant wooden rabbit?
DB: Badgers are much better!
O: Shut up.
CT: (mumbling and flailing about)
Phan: I told you guys not to hide his mask!
SK: But we didn't hide it!
A: We lost it!
Phan: You what?!
A: It was an accident. It was all Eric's fault!!!!
POTM: It was not!
LC: Oh really? Who was playing frisbee with it by the lake? Hm?
POTM: Winslow threw it too hard!
POTP: Not my fault you've got a sissy catching arm.
POTM: I do not!!!
Phan: Well, no sense arguing. But he does need another mask. He's driving me up the wall.
RE: Want me to just kill him? Save us all a lot of trouble.
YK: That's your answer to EVERYTHING isn't it? just kill it.
Phan: Well he needs a mask. Now let me see....Who has tons of extra masks that they don't hardly ever use.....(gaze drifting to CD)
CD: No! No, no, NO!
Phan: Why not?? You have a TON! You can't possibly wear them all at once.
CD: Watch me! (starts putting on masks one on top of the other)
Phan: You're being childish.
CD: But he'll get them all funky!
Phan: (rolling her eyes) UGH! Fine, be that way! (turning to YK with puppy dog eyes) Pleeeese can he use one of your masks? He's driving me up the wall!
YK: Well let's see. (rummaging through his masks) Not my formal one. He'll smudge it. I need my demon one in case I need to take some drastic action.... Then there's my...
Phan: Never mind. I have one in my carry on at my hotel... I'll be right back. Please don't kill each other.
W: Why can't one of you two just lend the silent wonder a mask?
HL: Should she really be going out alone?
CR: What are they going to do? Throw a badger on her?
Phan: I'm not exactly helpless you know.
LC: Obviously, but some of us do feel a little responsible for you.
RE: We do?
LC: Those of us with morals anyhow.
RE: Hey! I may not be as classy as YOU but don't treat me like scum.
DS: We wouldn't accord you the honor of scum.
RE: Well la-te-da! At least I'M not a turn coat like the jerks with the Raouls. You'd be DEAD if I were!
SK: You wanna bet?
A:I could take you down!
DB: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
RE: You stay out of this, ADD boy!
HL: Someone hasn't been going to his anger management class.
POTM: He went until he killed the instructor.
Phan: I'll be back in a little while. Settle this. (Walks off)
O: Well you have to admit. The instructor was a little too...sickeningly sweet.
ALW: Why they let Barney teach it in the first place is beyond me....
CD: (still shoving masks on his face while taking inventory) 26, 27, 28...
A: You know you don't have to do that. She went to get a mask.
CD: I just wanted to see if I could do it.
W: You lead a sad sad life....
(meanwhile back at the fop house)
DA: All right, so Plan B failed too.
Anatole: So now what?
D'aubert: I'm calling my roommie again.
POTA: He didn't help last time. What makes you think he'll help this time?
Anatole: Inspecteur D'aubert is out of ideas!
D'aubert: Shut up. (dials Inspector Javert)
Javert's voice: What do you want? I'm busy? (sounds of running)
D'aubert: Ah! Still chasing your con, eh? That's the spirit!
Javert's voice: No...(more running) One of those Les Mis fans found me. I'm running for my life!
Fan's voice: Come back Snookums! I want to give you a makeover!
Javert's voice: Noooooo! (click)
Anatole: What'd he say?
D'aubert: When I figure it out myself, I'll tell you.
Swan: We can't just sit around here. We have to do SOMETHING.
Fop: I know!
POM: This oughtta be good.
Fop: Let's play Twister!
Anatole: Somehow, that's not what we had in mind.
DA: Why don't you sit down before you hurt yourself?
(Fop crawls off dejected)
(The Phan, having gotten her collection of masks from her hotel [a collection that would have rivaled CD's], is picking her way back to the lair. On her way she decides it might be fruitive to eavesdrop on the fops, and possibly take them down for the fun of it)
POTA: Why don't we just make a full frontal assault and call it good?
Anatole: They'd shred us!
Swan: I don't care what we do. As long as we do something. And I call killing the Phan. I have a score to settle with her.
POM: Not on your life! I'm taking her down! (grumbles) Lousy little Phan anyhow....Not being nice to me....
DA: Oh cry me a river!
Fop: No! She made me use my brain!
D'aubert: ...I think we all know who wins the Pathetic Contest....
(the Phan walks back to the lair feeling incredibly intellegent compaired to the morons in the fop house. Her good mood disintegrates when she finds the Phantoms once again fighting.)
Phan: (sighs) Can't leave them alone for a second....