Finally, the much awaited conclusion. Still don't own these people, but after this chapter that won't particularly matter because I won't get to play with this set anymore *sniff* oh well. I also must explain the Theory of the Lawnchair. Everyone's brain sits on a lawnchair in the gutter. When the lawnchair breaks the brain falls into the gutter. Thank you
(in the lair, God has taken over ALW's lap and is singing a bawdy chorus of Bring on the Men much to the discomfort of ALW and any other Phantom within earshot. She stops as the Phan wanders into the room.)
God: Hiya Duckie!
Phan: (raises an eyebrow) Hi.
ALW: (looking pitiably at the Phan) Help.
God: Hush. You're here to look sexy and be comfy, not to talk. Although singing would be ok.
Phan: You're enjoying yourself aren't you?
God: Immensely.
Phan: Let him up.
God: I dun wanna!
Phan: Why don't you go sit on the cheap knockoff (indicates DS who is trying to preen without a mirror) He's been struting around for days trying to get your attention. If you don't throw him a bone soon he's going to pull a muscle.
God: But I'm having such a good time watching him bust his ass to get my attention.
Phan: It is pretty funny.
God: Besides, I'm rather enjoying this one at the moment (snuggles ALW)
Phan: I thought you had hot pants for Carrier?
God: Charlie's hiding. (scowls) Oh, yeah. I got a bone to pick with you! (reluctantly lets ALW up and he immediately scurries away)
Phan: What'd I do?
God: You gave the Phantoms a heads up on my invisibility trick. Now they wear swim trunks in the shower. Ruined my fun....Now that I peeked in the first place, mind you.
Phan: Uh-huh. And that's how you know they now wear swim trunks.
God: I'm omniscent.
Phan: Uh-huh.
God: And omnipotent.
Phan: And still you can't fix your lawnchair.
God: Oh, shut up. You're no better. I know you'd jump them if you thought they'd let you.
Phan: (shrug) I'm a phan. It's what I do. And at least I don't peep at them in the shower.
God: Only 'cause you don't know how to do it without getting caught.
Phan: The point is I dont' do it.
(There is a beeping sound)
God: That's my pager! (pulls pager from somewhere within the fluffy skirts of her ball gown) I gotta run. Crazy suicidal Palastinian/Israelies. Me dammit! Give my best to the Phantoms, Duckie. (vanishes in a pink bubble a la Glinda the Good Witch)
Phan: All right fellas, you can come out now.
SK: Honestly, I don't know where you'd pick up someone like that.
(Meanwhile at the Fop House)
POM: This is pathetic. We're getting killed off, and it's not even those other jackasses that are doing it.
Swan: My friends, I smell a rat.
DA: Um....one second. (quickly shoos all the rats out of his room and looks embarrassed)
POTM: What was that all about?
Swan: You REALLY don't want to know, but that's not what I'm talking about.
POM: Yeah, we weren't having these problems until YOU showed up (turns on POTM)
POTM: Hey, what are you saying?
DA: I think he's saying that you don't belong here, punk.
POTM: WAIT! I CAN EXPLAIN!
(POTM is attacked by the remainder of the fops and wanna-bes.)
(back in the lair)
O: Eric's been gone a while. Perhaps someone should check on him.
LC: I'm sure the boy is fine. It's not a difficult mission, and he doesn't need us looking over his shoulder.
(the electric bell sounds)
ALW: Someone's on the lake!
Phan: May I answer?
CD: No, Destler needs to vent some steam.
RE: (grins wickedly) Fresh meat. (flips out his knife and walks out the door.) God damn it! Someone beat me to him.
(ALL rush out to see what's going on, a dead body with a knife in it's back and a note pinned to it's shirt floats towards the landing)
W: Not ANOTHER one. Does this lake look like a morgue?
SK: Hold on a minute.....Isn't that our mall crawler?
HL: My God, you're right.
A: Let's go fish the poor sot out.
O: He's fine, eh? (glares at LC)
CR: Leave him be. No one expected this.
(a couple of the Phantoms bring the body in. DS grabs the note)
DS: Dear God! This penmanship is atrocious!
Phan: Give me that you twit! (snatches the note)
DB: (hops around the Phan) What's it say?
Phan: "Your turn."
POTP: This doesn't bode well.
YK: Let's take the body inside. We can bury him in the wine cellar.
W: What are we going to do now? Our plan failed.
Phan: I'll see if I can contact God and have her smite them. (takes out her cell phone and tries God)
RE: Screw God! I say we go there ourselves and take them apart!
LC: We are NOT storming in there without a plan. For all we know they have their place boobytrapped.
CT: He's right! They'll have the whole place trapped! They know us too well! They may be watching us as we speak!
CD: Calm down. You make him look comatose. (indicates DB)
Phan: I got her voicemail. OK, so God's busy and the initial plan failed. I'm out of ideas. Anyone else?
ALW: What if we killed off one of them and took their place?
Phan: Oh, yeah. We all know how well THAT works, Don Juan.
O: No, wait. He might have something there.
DS: My guess would be fleas.
SK: That's IT! I'm revoking your speaking privalages!
DS: Screw you.
A: Ew.
Phan: Shut up, the lot of you. I want to hear what Erik has to say. Go on. (looks expectantly at O)
O: Thank you my dear. As I was saying, he may have something in that they didn't trust Eric. He wasn't know of them, not familiar. However, if we enlist the aid of someone they trust....
Phan: (beaming) Oh, you're so clever and devious! I could kiss you! (Gives O a peck on the cheek)
DB: Hey, I'm devious too! (pouts)
(a lot of the Phantoms look jelous. Not that they find the Phan to be a particularly interesting specimen of femininity. Especially since she isn't overly feminine anyhow. It's just the fact that O got a smooch from something that closely resembled a girl and they didn't.)
Phan: (grins) Aw, if you guys want a kiss or....anything else....(truly pathetic attempt to look seductive, complete with wink and shoulder roll) All you have to do is say.
POTP: (pretending that little move from the Phan never happened) ....We were coming up with a plan?
A: But this is far more amusing. Females don't flirt with me much, or any of us for that matter.
CD: Personally, I've had enough female attention to last me a good long while. (everyone kinda looks at him funny) I was molested by God (looks embarrassed)
(ALL gape at CD.)
DS: You luck son of a bitch!
SK: I thought I told you to be quiet!
RE: I know a way to shut him up. (holds up surgical thread and hooked needle for skin sewing)
HL: Nobody is sewing anyone's mouth shut.
YK: Can't we just lock him in a closet or something?
T: (dryly) Or chuck him in the lake?
CR: Forget all that. Let the little weasel alone for the moment. We need all the brainpower we can get right now, even if he is a nitwit.
LC: So....so far the only thing we have for a plan is that we need someone they trust to send in that will also serve our interests. That's a bit of an oxymoron.
DB: Who are you calling a moron??
DS: OXYmoron you moron.
DB: Oh. OK.
O: Might I suggest the good Daroga?
SK: He's too good. He'd never go in for something like this. He's a complete stick in the mud.
Phan: (pointing to the still unconcious Christine on the couch) What about Sleeping Bimbo?
YK: Absolutely not!
CT: (narrowing his eyes at the Phan) Send her inot the Fop House? A highly suspicious tactic.
RE: I'm with him. We want to keep Christine away from them.
O: On top of that, she'd never agree to it.
CD: Her nature is far too delicate to permit killing or injuring them.
POTP: (catching on a bit faster than the rest since he doesn't have any borderline obsessive tendancies toward Christine) She doesn't have to. They'll do it themselves. She only has to be an instigator.
LC: I tell you, she doesn't know how.
Phan: She did a good enough job with all of you.
W: What do you mean?
Phan: The second she shows up you all go nuts. I'm amazed you didn't shred one another.
ALW: Then all she has to do is show up and be herself. Maybe flirt a bit, they'll do the rest?
RE: That's fiendish.
Phan: (grins) I do try.
CR: But what about the danger?
POTP: What danger?
A: If they should suspect the intent...
CD: She may be accused of being a knowing party in all this.
SK: They may hurt her.
T: If she thinks she's being used she'll be upset.
DS: (mockingly) And that could seriously compromise your engagement.
RE: (snarls) She might even break it off.
T: (noncommitally) She may.
A: You're only looking out for your own interests. I don't know if your point of view is relevant.
CR: Lay off the lad.
CT: No! They're right!
O: You're mad! He's only trying to protect her from emotional trauma.
SK: The engagement is irrelevant, is somewhat annoying to the rest of us.
YK: This is a bad idea. We can't just send her in like this. It's wrong.
T: I suppose the bottom line is that it's her choice. If she agrees than I suppose I'm for it.
HL: I can't imagine why she would agree.
LC: Well it doesn't hurt much to ask.
Phan: I'm on it! (shakes Christine) Wake up!
Christine: Huh?
Phan: You wanna get punched in the jaw again, princess?
Christine: No!
Phan: Good. (turns back to the Phantoms) She's agreed to help.
W: Somehow I don't think that was exactly fair.
ALW: Do YOU want to argue the point with her?
W: Erm....no.
ALW: I didn't think so.
(The Fop House)
Swan: Got any threes?
DA: Go fish!
POM: Arg. This is boring. When are we going to get them?
Swan: Patience, my friend. Knowing them they'll hatch another scheme and send some other pathetic loser to finish the job the other pathetic loser started.
DA: I hope they send that snot nosed Phan. I'll kill her myself.
POM: (snarls) Not if I get my hands on her first.
(Knock at the door)
Swan: Gentleman, let the games begin (Opens the door fully prepared to pound the daylights out of whoever walks through, except that the whoever is Christine)
POM: Christine?! What are you doing here?
DA: I thought you were marrying one of those other jerks.
Christine: He's having second thoughts. (pouts prettily and lays on the innocent routine thick)
DA: (shoves POM out of his chair) Have a seat.
POM: (trips DA and schmoozes with Christine) Can I get you something?
(Swan hangs back and watches, suspicious)
Christine: (smiles, ignoring Swan) No thank you. (bats her eyelashes)
DA: (hits POM in the back of the head) How have you been?
POM: (gets up and elbows DA in the gut, hard) What do you mean your fiancee is having second thoughts. Any man would be lucky to have you (smiles sexily)
DA: (stomps on POM's foot) Indeed.
Christine: I don't know. He spends all his time with the other Phantoms...and he pays more attention to that Phan than me...(pouts)
POM: That's terrible. (punches DA in the face)
DA: Awful. (knees POM in the groin)
Christine: I just don't know what to do.
(By this point the two wanna-bes are in a knock down drag out fight over who gets to talk to Christine. Fortunately they end up killing one another)
Christine: Oh my...........I didn't think they'd actually do it.
Swan: Do what, Christine?
Christine: Ummmm....(searching her ditzy little brain for something to say)
Swan: This was a setup wasn't it?
Christine: No! of course not!
Swan: (snarls) Oh, but I think it was! (tries to grab Christine but she's too quick and takes off running towards the lair screaming bloody murder)
(The lair)
(a furious pounding is heard on the door)
SK: Who on Earth--? (opens the door and Christine rushes in and slams smack into him) Christine? Are you all right?
Phan: Did it work?
Christine: (glares at the Phan) I hate you! You ane your bloody horrible plans! You're as bad as them! (points at the Phantoms) I don't know how I let you talk me into all this! I'm not a murderer like you are and now Swan's trying to kill me! I hope you're happy! I hate you all! (the bell sounds, indicating someone on the lake) EEEP! Hide me!
LC: In here (quickly usher's Christine into a back room where she'll be reasonably safe)
Phan: What a two-faced little bitch!
Swan: (storming in and looking mad as hell) Where are you hiding that little tramp?
RE: (glowers) Swan, for your last meal, I'm going to make you eat those words!
O: We've had just about enough of you, Swan. And I don't believe you're in any position to be threatening us.
DS: As I see it there's one of you and 16 of us.
Swan: (spots the Phan) Fine, hide the blonde bitch. But I'm getting you at least little missy. (runs at the Phan. it takes a second for the Phantoms to figure out what's going on before they pull him off of her, although there wasn't much need because the Phan apparently had a pocket knife which she put to good use in Swan's chest)
Phan: (smiles viciously) Never underestimate a phan.
ALW: (checking Swan) He's dead.
RE: (pulls the Swiss army knife out and looks it over.) Hey, I could use something like this (wipes off the blade and pockets it)
Phan: I believe that handles your pest control problem.
O: Thank you for the assistance.
A: I had no idea phans were so useful.
Phan: We do it out of love. (smiles sweetly)
SK: Well....I guess that's that.
CR: You will stay in touch won't you?
Phan: In touch. With what?
LC: Us of course. Write when you get home and all that.
W: Or visit when you're in town.
Phan: Oh....but....I was kind of thinking that this could be home. I like it here, and I don't want to go anywhere else.
YK: You don't?
Phan: Hell no!
POTP: So you're staying?
Phan: Yeah. I guess I am. Besides, someone should look after you all. And I can be useful, run errands and spy and stuff. If you'll let me stay.....
O: Well....what do all of you think (looks at the other Phantoms)
CD: At least she's useful.
RE: And she sure as hell isn't dull.
HL: And she can help me keep some of you ruffians in line.
POTP: Great.....Now we have a whole slew of Phantoms plus a Phantomess!
Phan: Phantomess....hmm....I like it. (grins)
(A lovely FIN comes up and God comes flying in looking a lot like Tinkerbell and waves her magic wand.)
THE END
(in the lair, God has taken over ALW's lap and is singing a bawdy chorus of Bring on the Men much to the discomfort of ALW and any other Phantom within earshot. She stops as the Phan wanders into the room.)
God: Hiya Duckie!
Phan: (raises an eyebrow) Hi.
ALW: (looking pitiably at the Phan) Help.
God: Hush. You're here to look sexy and be comfy, not to talk. Although singing would be ok.
Phan: You're enjoying yourself aren't you?
God: Immensely.
Phan: Let him up.
God: I dun wanna!
Phan: Why don't you go sit on the cheap knockoff (indicates DS who is trying to preen without a mirror) He's been struting around for days trying to get your attention. If you don't throw him a bone soon he's going to pull a muscle.
God: But I'm having such a good time watching him bust his ass to get my attention.
Phan: It is pretty funny.
God: Besides, I'm rather enjoying this one at the moment (snuggles ALW)
Phan: I thought you had hot pants for Carrier?
God: Charlie's hiding. (scowls) Oh, yeah. I got a bone to pick with you! (reluctantly lets ALW up and he immediately scurries away)
Phan: What'd I do?
God: You gave the Phantoms a heads up on my invisibility trick. Now they wear swim trunks in the shower. Ruined my fun....Now that I peeked in the first place, mind you.
Phan: Uh-huh. And that's how you know they now wear swim trunks.
God: I'm omniscent.
Phan: Uh-huh.
God: And omnipotent.
Phan: And still you can't fix your lawnchair.
God: Oh, shut up. You're no better. I know you'd jump them if you thought they'd let you.
Phan: (shrug) I'm a phan. It's what I do. And at least I don't peep at them in the shower.
God: Only 'cause you don't know how to do it without getting caught.
Phan: The point is I dont' do it.
(There is a beeping sound)
God: That's my pager! (pulls pager from somewhere within the fluffy skirts of her ball gown) I gotta run. Crazy suicidal Palastinian/Israelies. Me dammit! Give my best to the Phantoms, Duckie. (vanishes in a pink bubble a la Glinda the Good Witch)
Phan: All right fellas, you can come out now.
SK: Honestly, I don't know where you'd pick up someone like that.
(Meanwhile at the Fop House)
POM: This is pathetic. We're getting killed off, and it's not even those other jackasses that are doing it.
Swan: My friends, I smell a rat.
DA: Um....one second. (quickly shoos all the rats out of his room and looks embarrassed)
POTM: What was that all about?
Swan: You REALLY don't want to know, but that's not what I'm talking about.
POM: Yeah, we weren't having these problems until YOU showed up (turns on POTM)
POTM: Hey, what are you saying?
DA: I think he's saying that you don't belong here, punk.
POTM: WAIT! I CAN EXPLAIN!
(POTM is attacked by the remainder of the fops and wanna-bes.)
(back in the lair)
O: Eric's been gone a while. Perhaps someone should check on him.
LC: I'm sure the boy is fine. It's not a difficult mission, and he doesn't need us looking over his shoulder.
(the electric bell sounds)
ALW: Someone's on the lake!
Phan: May I answer?
CD: No, Destler needs to vent some steam.
RE: (grins wickedly) Fresh meat. (flips out his knife and walks out the door.) God damn it! Someone beat me to him.
(ALL rush out to see what's going on, a dead body with a knife in it's back and a note pinned to it's shirt floats towards the landing)
W: Not ANOTHER one. Does this lake look like a morgue?
SK: Hold on a minute.....Isn't that our mall crawler?
HL: My God, you're right.
A: Let's go fish the poor sot out.
O: He's fine, eh? (glares at LC)
CR: Leave him be. No one expected this.
(a couple of the Phantoms bring the body in. DS grabs the note)
DS: Dear God! This penmanship is atrocious!
Phan: Give me that you twit! (snatches the note)
DB: (hops around the Phan) What's it say?
Phan: "Your turn."
POTP: This doesn't bode well.
YK: Let's take the body inside. We can bury him in the wine cellar.
W: What are we going to do now? Our plan failed.
Phan: I'll see if I can contact God and have her smite them. (takes out her cell phone and tries God)
RE: Screw God! I say we go there ourselves and take them apart!
LC: We are NOT storming in there without a plan. For all we know they have their place boobytrapped.
CT: He's right! They'll have the whole place trapped! They know us too well! They may be watching us as we speak!
CD: Calm down. You make him look comatose. (indicates DB)
Phan: I got her voicemail. OK, so God's busy and the initial plan failed. I'm out of ideas. Anyone else?
ALW: What if we killed off one of them and took their place?
Phan: Oh, yeah. We all know how well THAT works, Don Juan.
O: No, wait. He might have something there.
DS: My guess would be fleas.
SK: That's IT! I'm revoking your speaking privalages!
DS: Screw you.
A: Ew.
Phan: Shut up, the lot of you. I want to hear what Erik has to say. Go on. (looks expectantly at O)
O: Thank you my dear. As I was saying, he may have something in that they didn't trust Eric. He wasn't know of them, not familiar. However, if we enlist the aid of someone they trust....
Phan: (beaming) Oh, you're so clever and devious! I could kiss you! (Gives O a peck on the cheek)
DB: Hey, I'm devious too! (pouts)
(a lot of the Phantoms look jelous. Not that they find the Phan to be a particularly interesting specimen of femininity. Especially since she isn't overly feminine anyhow. It's just the fact that O got a smooch from something that closely resembled a girl and they didn't.)
Phan: (grins) Aw, if you guys want a kiss or....anything else....(truly pathetic attempt to look seductive, complete with wink and shoulder roll) All you have to do is say.
POTP: (pretending that little move from the Phan never happened) ....We were coming up with a plan?
A: But this is far more amusing. Females don't flirt with me much, or any of us for that matter.
CD: Personally, I've had enough female attention to last me a good long while. (everyone kinda looks at him funny) I was molested by God (looks embarrassed)
(ALL gape at CD.)
DS: You luck son of a bitch!
SK: I thought I told you to be quiet!
RE: I know a way to shut him up. (holds up surgical thread and hooked needle for skin sewing)
HL: Nobody is sewing anyone's mouth shut.
YK: Can't we just lock him in a closet or something?
T: (dryly) Or chuck him in the lake?
CR: Forget all that. Let the little weasel alone for the moment. We need all the brainpower we can get right now, even if he is a nitwit.
LC: So....so far the only thing we have for a plan is that we need someone they trust to send in that will also serve our interests. That's a bit of an oxymoron.
DB: Who are you calling a moron??
DS: OXYmoron you moron.
DB: Oh. OK.
O: Might I suggest the good Daroga?
SK: He's too good. He'd never go in for something like this. He's a complete stick in the mud.
Phan: (pointing to the still unconcious Christine on the couch) What about Sleeping Bimbo?
YK: Absolutely not!
CT: (narrowing his eyes at the Phan) Send her inot the Fop House? A highly suspicious tactic.
RE: I'm with him. We want to keep Christine away from them.
O: On top of that, she'd never agree to it.
CD: Her nature is far too delicate to permit killing or injuring them.
POTP: (catching on a bit faster than the rest since he doesn't have any borderline obsessive tendancies toward Christine) She doesn't have to. They'll do it themselves. She only has to be an instigator.
LC: I tell you, she doesn't know how.
Phan: She did a good enough job with all of you.
W: What do you mean?
Phan: The second she shows up you all go nuts. I'm amazed you didn't shred one another.
ALW: Then all she has to do is show up and be herself. Maybe flirt a bit, they'll do the rest?
RE: That's fiendish.
Phan: (grins) I do try.
CR: But what about the danger?
POTP: What danger?
A: If they should suspect the intent...
CD: She may be accused of being a knowing party in all this.
SK: They may hurt her.
T: If she thinks she's being used she'll be upset.
DS: (mockingly) And that could seriously compromise your engagement.
RE: (snarls) She might even break it off.
T: (noncommitally) She may.
A: You're only looking out for your own interests. I don't know if your point of view is relevant.
CR: Lay off the lad.
CT: No! They're right!
O: You're mad! He's only trying to protect her from emotional trauma.
SK: The engagement is irrelevant, is somewhat annoying to the rest of us.
YK: This is a bad idea. We can't just send her in like this. It's wrong.
T: I suppose the bottom line is that it's her choice. If she agrees than I suppose I'm for it.
HL: I can't imagine why she would agree.
LC: Well it doesn't hurt much to ask.
Phan: I'm on it! (shakes Christine) Wake up!
Christine: Huh?
Phan: You wanna get punched in the jaw again, princess?
Christine: No!
Phan: Good. (turns back to the Phantoms) She's agreed to help.
W: Somehow I don't think that was exactly fair.
ALW: Do YOU want to argue the point with her?
W: Erm....no.
ALW: I didn't think so.
(The Fop House)
Swan: Got any threes?
DA: Go fish!
POM: Arg. This is boring. When are we going to get them?
Swan: Patience, my friend. Knowing them they'll hatch another scheme and send some other pathetic loser to finish the job the other pathetic loser started.
DA: I hope they send that snot nosed Phan. I'll kill her myself.
POM: (snarls) Not if I get my hands on her first.
(Knock at the door)
Swan: Gentleman, let the games begin (Opens the door fully prepared to pound the daylights out of whoever walks through, except that the whoever is Christine)
POM: Christine?! What are you doing here?
DA: I thought you were marrying one of those other jerks.
Christine: He's having second thoughts. (pouts prettily and lays on the innocent routine thick)
DA: (shoves POM out of his chair) Have a seat.
POM: (trips DA and schmoozes with Christine) Can I get you something?
(Swan hangs back and watches, suspicious)
Christine: (smiles, ignoring Swan) No thank you. (bats her eyelashes)
DA: (hits POM in the back of the head) How have you been?
POM: (gets up and elbows DA in the gut, hard) What do you mean your fiancee is having second thoughts. Any man would be lucky to have you (smiles sexily)
DA: (stomps on POM's foot) Indeed.
Christine: I don't know. He spends all his time with the other Phantoms...and he pays more attention to that Phan than me...(pouts)
POM: That's terrible. (punches DA in the face)
DA: Awful. (knees POM in the groin)
Christine: I just don't know what to do.
(By this point the two wanna-bes are in a knock down drag out fight over who gets to talk to Christine. Fortunately they end up killing one another)
Christine: Oh my...........I didn't think they'd actually do it.
Swan: Do what, Christine?
Christine: Ummmm....(searching her ditzy little brain for something to say)
Swan: This was a setup wasn't it?
Christine: No! of course not!
Swan: (snarls) Oh, but I think it was! (tries to grab Christine but she's too quick and takes off running towards the lair screaming bloody murder)
(The lair)
(a furious pounding is heard on the door)
SK: Who on Earth--? (opens the door and Christine rushes in and slams smack into him) Christine? Are you all right?
Phan: Did it work?
Christine: (glares at the Phan) I hate you! You ane your bloody horrible plans! You're as bad as them! (points at the Phantoms) I don't know how I let you talk me into all this! I'm not a murderer like you are and now Swan's trying to kill me! I hope you're happy! I hate you all! (the bell sounds, indicating someone on the lake) EEEP! Hide me!
LC: In here (quickly usher's Christine into a back room where she'll be reasonably safe)
Phan: What a two-faced little bitch!
Swan: (storming in and looking mad as hell) Where are you hiding that little tramp?
RE: (glowers) Swan, for your last meal, I'm going to make you eat those words!
O: We've had just about enough of you, Swan. And I don't believe you're in any position to be threatening us.
DS: As I see it there's one of you and 16 of us.
Swan: (spots the Phan) Fine, hide the blonde bitch. But I'm getting you at least little missy. (runs at the Phan. it takes a second for the Phantoms to figure out what's going on before they pull him off of her, although there wasn't much need because the Phan apparently had a pocket knife which she put to good use in Swan's chest)
Phan: (smiles viciously) Never underestimate a phan.
ALW: (checking Swan) He's dead.
RE: (pulls the Swiss army knife out and looks it over.) Hey, I could use something like this (wipes off the blade and pockets it)
Phan: I believe that handles your pest control problem.
O: Thank you for the assistance.
A: I had no idea phans were so useful.
Phan: We do it out of love. (smiles sweetly)
SK: Well....I guess that's that.
CR: You will stay in touch won't you?
Phan: In touch. With what?
LC: Us of course. Write when you get home and all that.
W: Or visit when you're in town.
Phan: Oh....but....I was kind of thinking that this could be home. I like it here, and I don't want to go anywhere else.
YK: You don't?
Phan: Hell no!
POTP: So you're staying?
Phan: Yeah. I guess I am. Besides, someone should look after you all. And I can be useful, run errands and spy and stuff. If you'll let me stay.....
O: Well....what do all of you think (looks at the other Phantoms)
CD: At least she's useful.
RE: And she sure as hell isn't dull.
HL: And she can help me keep some of you ruffians in line.
POTP: Great.....Now we have a whole slew of Phantoms plus a Phantomess!
Phan: Phantomess....hmm....I like it. (grins)
(A lovely FIN comes up and God comes flying in looking a lot like Tinkerbell and waves her magic wand.)
THE END