Relick: Hello everyone! I'm Relick!
Artemis: I'm Artemis!
Relick: And this is our muse, Serendipity.
Serendipity: *banging her head against the wall*
Relick: ^_^U She's having a case of writer's block…
Artemis: Well, I hope she comes up with an idea soon, or else this fic's going nowhere!
Serendipity: *light bulb* I'VE GOT IT!!!
Relick &Artemis: What?! What?!
To the Makai: A Yu Yu Hakusho Musical
By Relick and Artemis Wasabi
Disclaimer: We no own Yu Yu Hakusho or Into the Woods. Just each other and Serendipity
*There are three houses on stage, belonging to Botan, Kuwabara, and Yusuke*
*Relick, in a cute outfit, steps forward*
Relick: Once upon a time—
* Music. Light shines on Botan*
Botan: *singing* I wish…
Relick: -- in a far-off kingdom in the Ningenkai—
Botan: More than anything…
Relick: --lived a young maiden—
Botan: More than life…
Relick: --a sad young lad—
*Light shines on Kuwabara and a pathetic looking cow*
Botan: More than jewels…
Kuwabara: I wish…
Relick: --and a childless baker—
*Light shines on Yusuke and Keiko*
Kuwabara: More than life…
Botan, Yusuke: I wish…
Relick: --with his wife. *singsong* Yusuke and Keiko got married!
Artemis: *policeman-on-the-job music starts* *walks in wearing a suit and sunglasses, and holding a script* *to Relick* The script. *leaves*
Relick: *resuming* --with his wife.
Kuwabara: More than anything…
Botan, Yusuke, Kuwa: More than the moon…
Keiko: I wish…
Botan: The King is giving a festival—
Yusuke, Keiko: More than life…
Kuwa: I wish…
Botan: I wish to go to the festival—
Yusuke, Keiko: More than riches…
Botan: --and the Ball…
Kuwa: I wish my cow would give us some milk…
Botan, Keiko: More than anything…
Yusuke: I wish we had a child…
Kuwa: *to the cow* Please, pal…
(A/N: He talks to the cow…)
Keiko: I want a child…
Botan: I wish to go to the festival.
All: I wish…
*Miyuki, Inmaki, and Gokumonki, dressed in poofy dresses, enter*
Miyuki: You wish to go to the festival?
Relick: The poor girl's mother had died—
Miyuki: You, Botan?
Inmaki: What, you, Botan?
Gokumonki: What, you wish to go to the festival?
All: The festival? The King's festival!!!???
Relick: --and her father had taken for his new wife—
Miyuki: The festival!!!???
Relick: --a woman with two daughters *double take* of her own…?
Inmaki: Look at your nails!
Gokumonki: Look at your dress!
Miyuki: People would laugh at you—
Botan: Nevertheless—
All: She(I) still wants to go to the festival—
All(except Botan) --and dance before the Prince?! *laugh hysterically*
Relick: All three were beaut…*looks at script, pulls out pencil o' doom, and writes something in the script* All three were UGLY of face, with the exception of Miyuki, and vile and blacker of heart.
Artemis: *Artemis music* The script.
Relick: But it is in the script Ary-chan.
Artemis: *looks, and gives a thumbs-up* Ok. *leaves*
Relick: Kuwabara, on the other hand, had no parents, and his sister—
Shizuru: I wish…
Relick: Well, she was quite cute—
Shizuru: I wish my bro were not a fool.
I wish my house was not a mess.
I wish the cow was full of milk.
I wish the walls were full of gold—
I wish a lot of things…
You foolish kid! What in heavens name are you doing with a cow inside the house?
Kuwa: A warm environment might be just be what Milky White needs to produce his milk.
Shizuru: *flabbergasted* It's a SHE!!! How many times must I tell you? Only "SHE"s can give milk.
*Two knocks on Yusuke's door. Hiei enters wearing a red cloak with a hood.*
Keiko: Why, come in, little guy.
Hiei: I wish…
It's not for me,
It's for Aunt Rui in Makai.
A loaf of…*rummages through pockets and pulls out a quarter* bread, please—
To bring my poor sweet Auntie Rui in Makai…
*insistant* Just a loaf of bread, please…
*Yusuke gives him a loaf of bread*
Relick: Botan's stepmother had a surprise for her.
Miyuki: *empties pot of lentils into the fireplace* I have emptied a pot of lentils into the ashes for you. If you have picked them out again in two hours' time, then you shall go to the Ball with us.
*they leave, leaving Botan*
Hiei: And perhaps a sticky bun…?
Or four…?
Botan: Birds in the sky,
Birds in the eaves,
In the leaves,
In the fields
In of castles and ponds…
Hiei: …and a few of those pies…
Botan: Come, little birds
Down from the eaves,
And the leaves,
Over the fields,
Out of castles and ponds…
Kuwa: No, squeeze, pal…
Botan: *falls into a trance*
Quick little birds,
Flick through the ashes,
Pick and peck, but swiftly,
Sift through the ashes,
Into the pot…
Shizuru: Listen well, kid. Milky White must be brought to market.
Kuwa: Shizuru, NO!! he's the best cow—
Shizuru: Was. Was! She's been dry for a week. We've no food nor money, and no choice but to sell her, while she can still command a price.
Kuwa: But Milky White is my best friend in the whole world!
Shizuru: *stares at her brother in disbelief* Look at her!
There are bugs on her dugs.
There are flies in her eyes.
There's a lump on her rump big enough to be a hump!
Kuwa: But—
Shizuru: We've no time to sit and dither,
While her withers wither with her—
And no one keeps a cow for a friend!
Sometimes I fear you're touched.
*Hiei has been compulsively snacking on cookies and cakes. (KAWAII!!) He swallows, wiping his hands on his cape.*
Hiei: Into Makai,
It's time to go,
I hate to leave,
I have to, though.
Into Makai,
It's time, and so,
I must begin my journey.
Into Makai,
And through the trees
To where I am
Expected, ma'am *does a little bow to Keiko ^__^*
Into Makai
to Aunt Rui's house-- *grabs a cookie and pops it in his mouth*
*mouth full* Into Makai To Aunt Rui's house—
Keiko: You're certain of your way?
Hiei: *grabbing cookies at each line* The way is clear,
the light is good,
I have no fear,
nor no one should.
*death glares Yusuke, who just pulled the basket of cookies away from him*
The woods are just trees,
the trees are just wood,
I sorta hate to ask it,
But do you have a basket?
Yusuke: Don't stray and be late.
Keiko: And save some of those sweets for Rui!
Hiei: *rolling eyes* Into Makai
And down the dell,
The path is straight,
I know it well.
Into Makai,
And who can tell,
What's waiting on the journey?
Into Makai,
To bring some bread,
To Rui who
Is sick in bed,
Never can tell,
What lies ahead,
For all that I know,
She's already dead.
But, into Makai,
Into Makai,
Into Makai,
To Aunt Rui's house,
And home before dark.
*grabs another cookie and rushes off. Has he had enough to eat? I think not.*
Relick: We will end the scene right here. It seems Hiei-kun had a little too much sugar.
Artemis: There's nothing worse than a sugar-high fire youkai.
Relick: Yeah. They start to think they're a kitsune with red hair, green eyes, and uses a Rose Whip. Leave a review on your way out that's not a flame and we'll give you…*rummages through pockets* *to Artemis* I only have 62 cents.
Artemis: I only have three…
Relick: Umm…we'll give you 65 cents…and a piece of string!!
Artemis: Oooh…good deal.
Hiei: *bouncing off the walls…literally*
Serendipity: *dodging Hiei, pinball demon* Ouch! Hiei, that's my only head!