YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho

Meowiegirl: Well, I'm back!

Audience: *unenthusiastically* Yaaay.

Pegasus: I'm back too!

Audience: *really happy, dementedly so* WOOOOHOOOOOO! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

Meowiegirl: Meanies.

Pegasus: And heeeeeeeeeere's Funny Bunny! *takes out Funny Bunny plushie and makes it "dance" around in the air*

Meowiegirl: Have you been smoking anything odd while this story was on hold?

Pegasus: *to audience* She just doesn't understand the complex relationship between a man and his Funny Bunny plushie!

Meowiegirl: I don't think I want to. Anyway, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yami no Matsuei, or Rurouni Kenshin. Kenshin and Sano are guest-hosting at the end, and look out for Tatsumi and Watari. They're in the story.

Kenshin: That we are!

Pegasus: My apologies to all of you that wanted a Suzuka and Shishi chapter, but the author didn't feel like she could write them yet because she hasn't seen the episodes with them in it in almost a year.

Meowiegirl: It will be the chapter after next. So, this chapter, we're going back in time to a few decades ago in the Makai to follow our favorite thievin' demons, Kuronue and Youko Kurama!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kuronue: Kitsune-chan, I'm going to get us some food. *moves to leave their cave*

Youko: Okay...?

Kuronue: This time, I don't want to come home to you making out with another demon.

Youko: *whining* Ne, Kuronue, it was only once!

Kuronue: That's what you said last week, and two weeks ago, and before that... *leaves*

~One hour later~

Youko: I'm BORED, Kuronue. Want to go steal something later?

Kuronue: Kitsune-chan, that's like asking me if I want to breathe.

Youko: Where should we go?

Kuronue: I don't know, you pick.

Youko: And that, my dear, is what I love about having you for a date. You always let me choose where we're going.

Kuronue: So where are we going?

Youko: I know of this really great jewelry store in the Ningenkai...

Kuronue: What are we waiting for?

Youko: Me. I want to wash my hair. Always look good before a big heist.

Kuronue: Then go! And don't forget to bring a towel! *chucks rag at Youko*

Youko: *catches rag, goes over to stream, and bathes*

Kuronue: *ogling Youko*

Youko: *finally gets out of bath with a towel wrapped around his waist*

Kuronue: *nearly drooling*

Youko: *s-l-o-w-l-y letting the towel fall off* Dammit! I stood on a burr! *towel falls down*

Kuronue: *not blinking at all*

Youko: You know what? Forget this whole seduction thing. Let's just go have sex in that nearby cave.

Kuronue: Sounds good to me! *picks up Youko and carries him off towards the cave cave*

Meowiegirl: *sits down under a tree facing AWAY from the cave; she doesn't want two angry demons on her tail, and starts falling asleep*

Camera: *still on*

Kuronue: *yelling from in the cave* Youko! Your tail's in the way!

Youko: *also from the cave* Hey, watch it! You just slapped me in the face with your wings!

Kuronue: *more quietly and dejectedly, from the cave* Not on purpose.

Meowiegirl: *woke up when Youko's tail was in the way and now has a nosebleed*

Youko and Kuronue: *continue their activities for a while*

Youko: *walks out of the cave, turns around to look at his back* Oh, man, gross! I have dirt all over my back!

Kuronue: *standing a few yards in front of Youko* Well at least your hat didn't get squashed.

Youko: I thought you always wore that thing.

Meowiegirl: I don't even wanna know. *shakes head*

Youko: That has got to be the weirdest looking tree I've ever seen. *points at Meowiegirl*

Kuronue: ...Yeah.

Youko: Anyway, now that we've gotten that out of the way, what do you say we go have some fun?

Kuronue: Finally! Okay, where's this jewelry store?

Youko: *bats eyes and starts purring* No, honey, the -other- kind of fun...

Kuronue: Oh, come on! Kitsune-chan, you have such a one-track mind.

Youko: I do not!

Kuronue: You do!

Youko: *pouts*

Kuronue: Oh, fine. You think about other things than sex...*under his breath*...once a year.

Youko: I love you, Kuronue. *hugs Kuronue* So, now that we know that I -don't- have a one-track mind... *gives Kuronue "bedroom eyes"*

Kuronue: You know, Kitsune-chan, we're both standing here naked.

Youko: I know. ^-^

Kuronue: Why is there a puddle of blood around that tree?

Meowiegirl: *still has a bit of a nosebleed*

Youko: *pouting* Fine. If you don't -want- to have fun, why don't we go steal something.

Kuronue: *kisses Youko on the lips* Thank you! I knew you'd come around!

Youko: Well, let's go find a portal to the Ningenkai.

Meowiegirl: *takes out the Handy-Dandy Makai to Ningenkai (and back) Portal (tm), opens it up*

Kuronue: Right. Well, we found our portal. Now let's go get dressed.

Kuronue and Youko: *walk back in to the cave, managing to keep their hands off of each other*

Kuronue: *walks out wearing pretty much the same thing he always does, but he folded his wings down really close to his back and covered them with a cape*

Youko: *walks out in the white tunic he always wears, high heels, and a curly blonde wig that covers his ears; his tail is covered by a coat* (1)

Kuronue: I...won't ask.

Youko: We're two humans shopping for engagement rings.

Kuronue: *gives Youko a really weird look* Alright... Now, let's go!

Youko: *jumps into Kuronue's arms*

Kuronue: Oof! Youko, you're almost as tall as I am.

Youko: But what if my shoes fall off, or my hair gets messed up or...? *goes on for another five minutes*

Kuronue: Hn. Alright.

Kuronue, Youko, and Meowiegirl: *jump into portal, come out in Tokyo*

Youko: *pokes Kuronue and whispers* That tree is following us.

Kuronue: Are you sure you're not high on... What do those humans call it?

Youko: Soda?

Meowiegirl: LSD?

Kuronue: Right, thank y- Gaaah!

Youko: See? I was right!

Kuronue: Hey, now I'm paranoid. I think someone's taping us.

Youko: And would that have to do with the human video camera or the human recording device that the tree's holding?

Kuronue: Be quiet and let's go rob the store.

Other pedestrians: *staring at the goth-looking inhumanly tall man and the Marilyn Monroe look-alike of a similar height*

Youko: *glares at the pedestrians evilly and they all scatter*

Kuronue: *follows Youko to the store, walks in*

Youko: Can we see all of your biggest, prettiest, shiniest, most expensive-

Kuronue: *pokes Youko in the ribs, says under breath* Stop rambling, kitsune-chan!

Youko: *pouts* -pieces of jewelry?

Jeweler: *lifts an eyebrow, but complies*

Youko: *grabs most of the jewelry and runs off*

Kuronue: *grabs the rest and runs off*

~Fifteen minutes later~

Youko: Mmm, that was fun.

Kuronue: Yeah. Want to knock over a telephone booth?

Youko: Do I want to have sex with you right now?

Kuronue: I'll take that as a yes.

Kuronue and Youko: *walk over to a telephone booth and knock it over*



Telephone booth: *shaking and moving around* THUMP thump thump thump THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Youko: Yaaah! What in the three worlds...?

Kuronue: *puts his arms around Youko* Be careful, kitsune-chan. I think it's in its death throes. Stay here, it's likely to attack now that it's wounded and angry.

Youko: Ah.

Telephone booth: *opens up, and two people sit up; they're both guys and both shirtless- one of them is wearing only little owl-print boxers*

Kuronue: Good lord! It was a man-eater!

Brunette guy in slacks: *puts glasses back into their original position and raises eyebrow at the demons* Do you mind? We're trying to have sex here.

Blonde guy in boxers: *sits up and drapes his arms over the brunette guy's shoulder* Come on, Seii! This is boring. *pouts*

Youko: And why did you have to get eaten by one of these...monsters...to do that?!

Tatsumi (Seiichirou): We couldn't do it in Yutaka's lab because his owl kept flying around and distracting him, and we couldn't do it in my office because our boss might walk in.

Watari (Yutaka): Whatever! I'm booooored... *pulls Tatsumi down and shuts door*

Kuronue: *shakes head and starts walking away* Humans these days!

Youko: Kuronue, look out for the- *Kuronue trips over a child's model car* -model car.

Kuronue: *curses nonstop for about five minutes*

Mother: Excuse me, sir! My child just heard you do that!

Kuronue: Oh! Holy shit, I'm so fucking sorry!

Youko: Yeah, Kuronue! You shouldn't fucking curse around the fucking little kids!

Everyone in the park: *stares at the really tall Marilyn Monroe lookalike with the deep voice*

Mother: They cursed around my kid!



Kid: *running around cursing his little head off*

Group of mothers: *chase Kuronue and Youko around wielding machine guns* Let's draw and quarter them, or roast them over a spit, or chop off their fingers and toes one by one...

Meowiegirl: *opens up portal again, muttering* Isn't it ironic how they don't want their kids to hear cursing, but they have no qualms about letting their kids see violence? *jumps into portal*

Kuronue and Youko: *jump into portal, come out in Makai*

Kuronue: Well, kitsune, we should go to bed now, I'm tired. *yawns*

Youko: How can you do *whispers in Kuronue's ear* if you're tired, hmmm?

Kuronue: You know, beds serve other purposes than a place to have sex. You know, like sleeping?

Youko: *whistles* Weee-ird. You should patent that idea or something. It's so original!

Kuronue: *sweatdrops*

Meowiegirl: *sweatdrops*

Kuronue and Youko: *walk into their cave together*

Meowiegirl: *sighs* Oh well. I guess our fun's over, until next time on YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho.

______________________________________________________________________________

NewsCam! Yu Yu Hakusho:

Meowiegirl: Jin and Touya's wedding was postponed this week due to an argument over an argument over fishnet stockings. Apparently, Jin stole the fishnets that Touya wears on his arms constantly and put them on his ears. Their wedding may take place next episode or the one after that, depending on when the author wants to interview (read: stalk) Shishi and Suzuka.

______________________________________________________________________________

Meowiegirl: That's all for today. Now, for our special guest-hosts, Sanosuke and Kenshin!

Sanosuke: *walks out carrying a sleeping Kenshin*

Pegasus: *pokes Kenshin*

Sanosuke: *smirking* I tired him out last night. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.



Kenshin: *wakes up* That he did.

Pegasus: Hey, we forgot to torture Kuwa-baka again.

Meowiegirl: *smacks her forehead ala Homer Simpson* D'oh! Sano, there's this ugly fool with a stupid voice, and he's trying to kill Kenshin. *points at Kuwa-baka*

Sanosuke: *walks over to Kuwa-baka angrily* Hey, keep away from my Kenshin!

Kuwabara: *composing a love poem for Yukina* Uhh...let's see...duhhh... I know! "Your eyes are like a work of art, your hair is like..." Uh, what rhymes with art? Oh, wait never mind. "...your hair is like a light green fart."

Sanosuke: *punches Kuwa-baka* This one's for trying to kill my koi! *punches Kuwa-baka again* And this one's for writing horrible poems!

Pegasus: *sweatdrops* Funny Bunny says, thanks for reading! Bye!

(As the camera fades out, Sanosuke is still punching Kuwa-baka in the background, and Kenshin is laughing hysterically, while Meowiegirl makes a peace sign and Pegasus talks animatedly to his Funny Bunny plush.)