YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho

Meowiegirl: I'm back, and today is a special edition of YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho. It's Jin and Touya's wedding!

Pegasus: *walks in with all of these flowers in his hair and around his neck; Funny Bunny is similarly decorated*

Meowiegirl: Should I ask?

Pegasus: I love weddings! *hugs Meowiegirl*

Meowiegirl: Whoa, man. I'm checking you into a drug rehab center when this story's done.

Pegasus: I don't take drugs! *pouts*

Meowiegirl: Sure. All you do is drink wine and eat cheese.

Pegasus: Yep! *genki grin* Actually, it's fruit juice.

Meowiegirl: *waves her hand like Queen Elizabeth*

Pegasus: What are you doing?

Meowiegirl: If it's fruit juice, then I'm the Queen of England.

Pegasus: Fine, fine. Oh, here's the disclaimer! Meowiegirl doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Yu Yu Hakusho.

Meowiegirl: And now, the story! (Finally...)

______________________________________________________________________________

Jin: *standing in a dressing room* Touya, darling, I'm so happy we got here before Botan and the other girls.

Touya: Remember what happened at the last wedding? *winces*

Jin: Yep! We got lucky behind a couch. *ears wiggle happily*

Touya: No, I mean to Kurama. He was dragged off by the girls and stuffed into this hideous dress.

Jin: Oooh. Wow.

Yusuke: *from outside* C'mon, Jin, we're all going to get a beer before the wedding.

Jin: *perks up and flies really fast out the door*

Touya: Oh, the disadvantages of not liking beer.

Kurama: *runs in and hides behind a couch*

Touya: Kurama! What's wrong?

Kurama: *panting* Botan...Yukina...Shizuru...Keiko...ugly dresses... They got Shishi!

Touya: So what? They're wearing ugly dresses.

Kurama: No, no! They're not wearing the ugly dresses!

Touya: They're running around naked?!

Kurama: No. They're wearing nice dresses. The ugly dresses are for-

Botan, Shizuru, Keiko, and Yukina: *charge in carrying Shishi bound hand and foot and three very ugly dresses*

Yukina: *drill sergeant voice* HUP two three four! HUP two three four! Now, go get those demons! Move, move, move!

Keiko: *nabs Touya*

Shizuru: *holding on to Shishi*

Botan: *catches Kurama*

Shishi (wailing): I thought this was the guy's dressing room!

Yukina: We seized it.

Touya: *poking something squishy on a dress* What is that?

Keiko: Bosom padding, of course.

Shishi: ARGH! What the hell?!

Shizuru: Don't ask. Just put on the dresses and it will go easier.

The three bishies: *huddle together in the middle of the room*


Yukina: Back off, girls. They're scared. *winks*

Other girls: *back off*

Touya: That was possibly one of the most frightening things that ever happened to me. *stands up*

Keiko: *grabs Touya and stuffs him into an ugly layered dress that is covered in bows and lace and drags on the floor* Over to you, Botan! *pushes Touya towards Botan*

Botan: Bingo! *puts some bows in Touya's hair and a veil over his face* You make a great bride, Touya! *pushes him towards Shizuru*

Shizuru: *puts lipstick, eyeshadow, blush, and eyeliner on poor Touya*

Yukina: *brings over a mirror* How do you like it, Touya?

Touya: *bursts out sobbing* I look like a prostitute!

Yukina: *smacks Touya over the head with the mirror* You'll wear that and LIKE it, soldier!

Touya: *runs out of the room*

(The same thing is done to Shishi and Kurama)

~The guy's dressing room~

Kuwabara: *hands Hiei a child's green and shiny purple tuxedo* Here you go. It was all I could find in your size, shrimp.

Hiei: *glares at Kuwabara* Didn't we go over this at the last wedding? I'm one of the Best Men, not a child or a ringbearer, you oaf.

Kuwabara: Bite my ankles, if you can reach that high.

Hiei: I'll bite your goddamn head off if you don't shut up.

Yusuke: Relax, all of you! We have to find Touya and the other guys that got abducted.

Jin: I'm so scared, my ears are wigglin'! *points at ears*

Meowiegirl: *gasps in reverence* The Ears of Aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww!

Suzuka: Yeah, Shishi will be so upset without his hair glitter.



Jin: *points* Look! There's Touya!

Touya: *runs in* Jin, hide me. Please!

Jin: *hugs Touya* It's okay, Touya. *looks at Touya* You are Touya, right? Ya kinda look like a prostitute.

Touya: The girls still have Kurama and Shishi!

Kuwabara: My God. Look at Touya. He looks just like my great-aunt!

Jin and Touya: *walk away*

Kurama: *runs in* It's worse than my wedding! I was forced into a bridesmaid's dress! *twirls around so that everyone can see the dress- it's pink, with a huge bow on the butt, giant sleeves, and huge fake flowers everywhere*

Yusuke: *shields his eyes* Shit, man, that's ugly!

Hiei: *grimaces* Fox, you know I love you to death, right?

Kurama: Yeah, and...?

Hiei: So excuse me when I say that your dress is the most hideous thing I've ever seen.

Kurama: Uglier than Kuwabara's face?

Hiei: *pauses to think* Except for that. Yes, Kuwabara's face would have to be the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

Kuwabara: Yukina doesn't think so!

Hiei: *frowns* Hn.

Kuwabara: Hey Yukina! Baby! Come here!

Yukina: *walks in* Yes, Kazuma?

Kuwabara: Gimme a kiss, baby! *makes a kissy face*

Yukina: One minute, Kazuma. *takes out her hair ribbon and ties it around her eyes so she can't see Kuwabara* Okay. *kisses Kuwabara*

Yusuke: *laughing* Kuwabara's so ugly, his own girlfriend doesn't even want to look at him!


Hiei: Ch, I have better things to do than sit here and watch you idiots. *walks out*

Kurama: Namely, me! *follows Hiei*

~Meanwhile in the bathroom~

Jin and Touya: *having sex*

Touya: *blanches* Jin, I just realized something.

Jin: *Ears of Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwww! wiggle* Can't we discuss this later?

Touya: No! The clothes I wanted to wear are back in the dressing room!

Jin: *eyes get big* Ah. Shit.

Touya: I'll have to wear that stupid dress!

Jin: *runs a hand through his hair* Touya, I pity you an' all, but could we -please- get back to the matter at hand?!

Touya: *smiles* Mmmm... Of course!

Jin and Touya: *resume their activities*

~The room where the wedding's taking place~

Kurama: Doesn't this building have any good places to have sex?

Hiei: *thinking very hard* Hnnn... The chairs are uncomfortable, the bathroom's occupied already, there are people in the dressing rooms, but-

Kurama: *sighs* Oh, forget it. Let's just do it right here.

Hiei and Kurama: *have sex on the floor*

-Ten minutes later-

Hiei: *hears footsteps* HN! Fox, someone's going to walk in here -very- soon!

Kurama: That would not be good. *looks around* Behind the altar!

Hiei and Kurama: *move behind the altar*

Kuwabara: *walks in looking very shaken and muttering to himself* Suzuka... Shishi... Waiting room bench... *shudders* The horror...

Hiei: Hn. Should've known it would be that moron.

Kurama: Oh, it's KuwabaraaaaAAAAHHHHHhhh!

Kuwabara: *hears Kurama* Oh my God! A ghost! *runs out*

Hiei: Hn. Nice one, fox.

Kurama: Hey, you helped. *hentai grin*

Koenma: *walks into the room in teenage form and stands behind the altar*

Hiei: *muffled* Shit! *he and Kurama quickly move under the altar*

Koenma: *calling to the guests and the demons getting married* You can come in now!

Everyone except Jin, Touya, Hiei, and Kurama: *comes in*

Kuwabara: I dunno, Urameshi, I don't wanna be in here. I think it's -haunted-!

Yusuke: *smacks Kuwabara upside the head* Dumbass. Go flirt with Yukina or something.

Kuwabara: *grinning like a moron- no, wait, he IS a moron, sorry* Hey, Yukina, baby!

Koenma: Baby?! I'm not a baby!

Yusuke: Not you, pacifier breath. Let's start the wedding already!

Koenma: In case you haven't noticed, Jin and Touya aren't here.

Jin and Touya: *run in, their clothes are seriously rumpled, their hair is messed up, and Touya's makeup is smudged*

Yusuke: Touya, Why are you wearing a bow-tie and shirt over your dress?

Jin: *flying around* I'm so happy an' excited an' WHOOSH! Y'know? Come on, let's start the weddin' already, the cake's gettin' stale! *ears wiggle*

Touya: *pokes Jin* I shouldn't have listened to you! Now we're late for our own wedding!

Jin: *grins* You weren't wishin' you ignored me earlier now, were ya? 'Cause if ya were, you did a good noisy job of hidin' it!



Kuwabara: *gets a nosebleed*

Shizuru: Jin, it's bad luck to even look at the "bride" before a wedding.

Jin: But we did a lot more than just lookin'!

Yusuke: Oh, just start the ceremony, alright?

Koenma: *starts*

(Midway through the ceremony)

Altar: *thumping up and down while emitting moany noises*

Koenma: Waaah! Daddy! Help, it's possessed!

Yusuke: Hey, did I just hear a "Hhhnnnnn...!" coming from there?!

Shizuru: *pushes altar aside* Oh, whoa... I didn't think that was humanly possible...

Kuwabara: *looks* Ugh! Shrimp and Kurama! Gross, man!

Touya: Before this wedding gets any more uncontrollable, let's just say our vows, Jin.

Jin: I do!

Touya: I do!

Koenma: Wait! You just said "I do!" You didn't actually say "I do!" to anything!

Jin and Touya: *already out the door*

Chuu: 'Ey! The ceremony's over! Bing out the sheilas and beer!

~Later, in Jin and Touya's hotel room~

Jin: *cuddling in the bed with Touya* Touya, did you notice the paper tree following us?

Touya: *doesn't say anything*

Jin: Touya? Touya?! Wake up! For the love of... Of... Uh... *thinks* For the love of that tea that you like! Wake up!

Touya: *still doesn't say anything*



Jin (yelling): NO! The love of my life is dead on our wedding night! *shakes Touya*

Touya: *opens his eyes a little bit* Uhnnnn?

Jin: *eyes widen* He lives!

Touya: *yawns* You did tire me out quite a bit today. Can't I get any sleep? *snuggles up to Jin and goes back to sleep*

Jin: *blanches* Ice...c-c-cold... *pulls blankets over him and Touya* Hey tree, turn out the lights, will ya?

Meowiegirl: *turns out the lights*

______________________________________________________________________________

Meowiegirl: Awwww!

Pegasus: *crying* I love weddings! Especially ones that end in utter chaos!

Meowiegirl: We have a special guest today!

Pegasus: Everyone's favorite cute little Koorime, Yukina!

Yukina: *walks in* Hello, everyone.

Meowiegirl: Yukina, you are one of my favorite characters. So, I'll do you a little favor.

Yukina: Hm?

Meowiegirl: I'll tell you who your brother is! It's Hiei!

Yukina: Oh! The one who was having sex with Kurama underneath the altar?

Pegasus: *sweatdrops* On second thought, forget it.

Meowiegirl: How can you think for me? Huh? *poking Pegasus repeatedly*

Puu: *whizzes by* PUUUUUUUUUU!

Yusuke: *walks after Puu* Sorry about that. Little bugger annoyed me, so I threw it.

Pegasus: *giggling* Yusuke with Puu-flinging action!

Yukina: Yusuke with purple Puu!

Puu: *finally lands, in Kuwabara's clothes hamper in his dressing room, and comes out smelling seriously nasty and looking ill*

Meowiegirl: *pointing and laughing* Yusuke with radioactive Puu!

(Seriously, my mom and I did this when we saw the Yusuke action figure. The description was "Yusuke with realistic Puu". We came up with some more, too.)

Pegasus: Well, until next time, thanks for reading!

(By the way, I'm REALLY, REALLY sorry if I offended anybody with the sex under an altar thing. I didn't mean to, and I'm not really sure about what would offend people, because I'm not a member of any organized religion.)