Summary: Xander's pops flogs him off at a young age.
Crossover: Ranma 1/2
Disclaimer: I own nothing! You can prove nothing!
Feedback: Rein of the Coalm
Pre-fic Comments:
As before, "* blah *" indicates foreign speech. Translations get put in curly braces after foreign speech if it's in the original foreign speech.
* * *
"*WHERE AM I NOW?!?!"
Xander sighed. "*Hear the call of the lonely Ryouga.*"
"*Cool!,*" Ranma said, getting up and leaving Buffy on the Library floor. "*We haven't seen him since... uh...*"
"Uh, guys?," Willow asked. "English?"
"Sorry, Will," Xander apologised. "That's a friend of ours that shouted just before."
"Yeah," the Japanese boy added. "Haven't seen 'im since we last went ta school."
"Lovely," Giles dryly said. "Could someone go and get him before the Principal does?"
"Sure," Ranma said. "Hold on a sec while I go look."
"How long until, uh, Buffy wakes up?," the Watcher asked Willow's old friend.
"Normal people, five minutes or so," Xander mused out loud. "But magical girl there might wake up faster."
The Slayer woke up about then. She groaned, picking herself up off the floor slowly. Her head, arms, and legs all hurt.
"What hit me?," she asked. "Cos I'm thinking we've got a new Big Bad."
"That was Ranma," Ranma's friend cheerily replied. "He's gone off to get Ryouga, before he gets lost again."
"Lost?"
"He got lost trying to get from his house to the lot right by it."
* * *
Ryouga thought he was in America. Sure, the people spoke english, but the clincher was the cars.
He couldn't be sure, though. A rising wisp of suspicion in his mind whispered that he was, in fact, in Paris.
"*Hey, Ryouga!,*" a familiar, hated voice said. "*How ya goin'? Haven't seen ya since school!*"
His head shot up. "RAAAAAANMAAAA!"
He would die for humiliating Ryouga! And his little friend, too!
* * *
"Er, should they be making all that noise?," Willow asked. "Because that doesn't really sound like they're old friends, it sounds like they're mortal enemies, which is of the bad, because--"
"Okay, Will," Xander grumbled. "We might not have been /best/ friends with Ryouga. But I always thought we were kinda friends. Friendly rivals, at least."
The double doors to the Library were ripped off their hinges after Ranma darted through them, a stocky Japanese boy with a huge backpack and a yellow bandanna on his head stormed right after Ranma.
"*I'm gonna crush your head like a walnut! How dare you run away from our fight!,*" the Japanese boy shouted.
"I wish you'd all speak English," Buffy complained. "Because I know no Japanese."
The two boys fighting paused, apologised to Buffy, then continued right on fighting.
"It's your fault!," Ranma shot back. "I waited three days for you to turn up to your own challenge!"
"And it was on the fourth day that I arrived!"
"Uh, was this to the lot behind your house that Xander mentioned?," Willow asked.
Xander nodded.
"Are you special needs?," Buffy asked.
"HEY!"
"It ain't my fault if ya get lost so damn easily!," Ranma complained. "If this is over the bread, I can give you some more now!"
"This isn't about the bread anymore!," Ryouga bellowed, smashing a table that Ranma was crouching on with a red umbrella weighing about a metric ton.
"You didn't follow us to China, did you?," Xander asked, a horrible suspicion creeping up on him.
"SHUT UP!," the Lost Boy yelled.
"You cursed too?," Ranma asked.
"Curse?," Giles asked. "Uh, what is the curse? I could look up a cure."
Ryouga and Ranma immediately stopped fighting, and Giles found himself besieged by two Japanese boys and one American boy.
"Can you really find a cure?," Ranma asked, eyes shining.
"I deserve to be cured first!," complained the Lost Boy.
"Jusenkyo," explained Xander. "We've been cursed at Jusenkyo."
"I see," Giles said, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Uh, hold on while I look up the curse."
"What's this curse?," the Slayer asked.
"There ain't no curse!," Ranma said. "It's a lie!"
"Sure it is, /Ranko/," Xander said.
Ranma threw a glass of water that had been sitting on the counter in Xander's face. "Shaddup!"
All present, minus the Japanese boys, blinked as a huge, five hundred pound tiger appeared where once a human being had been.
"X-X-Xander?," Willow stuttered. Sure, she'd seen bug ladies and all kinds of things over the last year, but /this/???
The tiger growled slightly, giving Ranma an evil look. Ryouga looked distinctly nervous, for some reason.
"Is, is that, uh, Xander?," Buffy asked. "Because this is not of the good."
The tiger growled at length. "*This sure is of the good! I can do all kindsa things like this, and I can smell all kinds of things like this!*"
Unfortunately, none of the humans understood Tiger, so Xander was only speaking to himself.
"Well, that's Xander," Ryouga said. "What're you, Ranma?"
Willow threw the next glass of water.
Everyone blinked as a short, busty redhead appeared where Ranma had been standing. Her shirt was wet, showing off her... assets... rather well.
Ryouga tried manfully to restrain his laughter, failing miserably.
"SHADDUP! SHADDUP!," Ranma-chan yelled. "THIS IS A CURSE, DAMMIT! I'M A GUY!"
Ryouga pointed at Ranma's chest. "Those say otherwise!"
"You pig!," Buffy yelled, throwing another glass of water in Ryouga's face.
The two girls blinked. A little piglet was trying to get out of Ryouga's clothes.
"Uh, did I do that?," Buffy asked.
"I don't think so," Willow said. "That curse?"
The little piglet bwee'd at them with all it's piggy might.
* * *
Post-Fic Comments:
I hope you enjoyed this :) I'm not sure at all what to do with Abyss or MI, so you'l have to settle for funnyfics.