Summary: Xander's pops flogs him off at a young age.

Crossover: Ranma 1/2

Disclaimer: I own nothing! You can prove nothing!

Feedback: Rein of the Coalm

Pre-fic Comments:

As before, "* blah *" indicates foreign speech. Translations get put in curly braces after foreign speech if it's in the original foreign speech.

I'm forcing myself to write *something*, so please say if this was bad!

* * *

Xander groaned noisily and settled down on the floor for a long wait, orange and black striped tiger tail lashing furiously. The little black piglet looked distinctly nervous, hooves edging nervously to the side until Buffy picked it up and put it on the table.

"Don't pick on him!," Buffy scolded. That Xander boy was with that Ranma, so he was probably no good too. Honestly, claiming she was a cheat for being a Slayer!

Giles wandered out of his office, book open. His left hand was supporting the book, while his right was trailing down the page. "I've found a detailed entry on the Chinese Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo, everyone, and--"

His voice cut off abruptly, as the horrified Brit spotted the pig on the table. "WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT SWINE DOING ON *MY* TABLE?!?!"

Buffy picked Ryouga up, and hid him behind her back. "That what?"

Giles put the book down on the table, hiding the blemishes created by the pig underneath it. He gave the porcine fighter a dark look before turning back to the pages, absently scratching Xander's tigerish head after he took a seat.

Xander sighed, resigning himself to being decorative until he managed to get some hot water.

"Can I get some hot water here?," Ranma asked grumpily.

"Er, quite," Giles said. He was rapidly becoming inured to young woman hanging around him (Buffy and Willow), but female Ranma was in a different class of beauty. He passed his freshly made teapot to her.

"*Finally,*" Ranma muttered in Japanese, pouring some of the water over his head, then the other two boys.

"Chikuso!," Xander swore as he dove for his clothes. While his body changed shape with cold and hot water, his clothes did not and quite often fell off Xander-tiger.

Ranma quietly sniggered to himself, while the two girls laughed quietly and took a good look at the two naked boys.

Ryouga yanked on a pair of pants, then picked up his umbrella and pointed it at Ranma like a fencing foil, all the while still shirtless. "*For all you have made me suffer, I WILL have justice! I will crush your skull like an eggshell!*"

"Excuse me!," Giles said sternly. "While I can understand your quandry with regards to keeping clothes on, you /will/ maintain a certain level of decency in this school!"

The fanged Lost Boy, always polite, blushed and lowered the umbrella.

"That's okay, we don't mind," Buffy said, staring at Ryouga.

A jet of brilliant red blood spurted out of Ryouga's nose as a dopey grin grew on his face. He then fainted.

"Stupid pervert," Xander muttered, tucking in his shirt and then knocking Ryouga out with a boot to the head.

"What?," Willow asked. "How was that perverted, mister?"

The two conscious boys exchanged a glance. A silent contest took place, which Xander lost.

"Ah... you see," he stumbled. "He got a bloodrush to the head... it's just that his brain had directed it to the wrong head. Ryouga's got a few mental problems."

"That's quite enough," Giles commanded peremptorily. "Do you wish to know about Jusenkyo or not?"

"Sure," Xander said. "Do we havta do anything for you first?"

Giles was sorely tempted to have them clean up the split hot water, and mop up the nasal blood. So he said that.

"*Stupid pig-boy,*" Ranma muttered, taking the rag that Buffy handed him with a smirk.

"I'm on that like white on hell," Xander said under his breath.

* * *

The two martial artists had decided to get out of school before that librarian had decided that they should have that meeting with the teachers they had been meant to speak with today about their classes.

"*Hahaha! Did you see that cheater's face?,*" Ranma laughed.

"*Yeah,*" Xander grinned. "*Funnier than sensei trying to do the 'wise old man' routine.*"

"What have we here?," a voice asked from behind them. "Are you boys lost?"

They turned around, to find a portly American man looking intently at them. After a moment of reflection, they remembered.

He was the Principal. Crap.

"Ano, we lost looking for crass," Ranma said, English skill degrading in a moment of utter panic. His pops got /real/ mad when the boys disobeyed him.

"That's okay, son," Principal Flutie beamed. "I found it hard to get anywhere on my first day here, too! Where are you trying to go? I'll see you there."

"Bio.. lo... gy," Xander read out. "We're kinda behind the eightball on the learning box."

"Oh, yes," Flutie said. "You two are the exchange students. Well, I understand that your records aren't the best, but you'll find that here at Sunnydale High, we believe in fresh starts!"

"Really?," Ranma asked.

* * *

Post-fic Comments:

Xander and Ranma's English has a few holes in it. Genma has been raising them for the last decade. Spot the anime reference (somewhat subtle), and figure out where the heck this is continuity wise :D