Summary: Xander's pops flogs him off at a young age.
Crossover: Ranma 1/2
Disclaimer: I own nothing! You can prove nothing!
Feedback: Rein of the Coalm
Pre-fic Comments:
As before, "* blah *" indicates foreign speech. Translations get put in curly braces after foreign speech if it's in the original foreign speech.
Go forth, my adoring hordes, and help me slay chromatic dragons who DARE to cast a halo of fear, scaring my level sixteen fighters! Stupid dragons. Except metallic dragons, they're cool. (Especially since they never notice me the Chaotic Evil character looting their hoards. The only problem then is selling to shopkeepers who don't /like/ evil characters.)
* * *
Ranma yawned. He had been bored stiff going to school when he was eight or so, and it was still boring as hell eight years later.
"Mr Sa... o... tomy," the teacher yelled, "wake up! What is the answer?"
"*Aaaaa!,*" Ranma yelled. "*Sixteen! Yamamoto! Sulphur!*"
"Detention, Mr Saotome," the teacher said nastily. "The /answer/ is forty two."
Ranma gave Xander a nasty look, and poked him in the side to wake him up. "Oi!"
"Nani o?," Xander said muzzily.
"*If I have to suffer through this, so do you!,*" Ranma hissed.
"Suffer schmuffer, I'm sleepin'," Xander said, then went right back to sleep.
A mournful hangdog expression set itself on Ranma's face as he noticed the teacher keeping an eye on him, meaning that he couldn't go back to sleep either.
Pops was right, he decided. School was for the weak.
Heck, he could be checking out American food if he wasn't stuck here! They didn't make Ryouga stay, did they? (Granted, they'd have to nail the Lost Boy's feet to the floor to make certain he didn't find himself in Sweden while trying to find the toilet.)
* * *
Willow's mouth opened and closed. She'd amiably let the two boys sit at the back of the room while she sat near the front, but here she came at the end of the day and what had happened?!
Xander was snoring away, a little snotbubble growing and shrinking on one of his nostrils, while Ranma sat there like a little black stormcloud, resentful at the fact that /he/ couldn't go to sleep too.
She sighed. "Who wants an icecream? My shout."
She needed it, having to play peacekeeper for Buffy.
"Yaaay!," Xander cheered, waking up seemingly by magic at the mention of icecream.
"I could be interested," Ranma-kun hedged.
Stoic, manly Japanese men do /not/ go nuts over icecream. No matter if it is sweet... and delicious... and wonderful... and... and...
Ranma picked up a handy glass of water, pouring it over his head.
"Yaaaay!," the short, buxom redhead cheered, now all in favour of icecream. Kawaii lil' Ranma-chan could go for icecream, on the other hand.
Willow got the feeling that she had made a grave mistake just now. But she couldn't put her finger on what it was...
* * *
"Hello dear," Willow's Mum said as she walked in the door, the two boys right behind her.
Willow's eyes lit up. She could hand over the problems! Her Mum would be able to deal with those two delinquents!
"Xander and Ranma kept trying to sleep through class, Mum," Willow frowned.
"/Really?/," the psychologist said disapprovingly. The two martial artists winced. "You'll be doing /all/ your homework tonight, boys. I won't have stupid people living under /my/ roof."
"Okay," Ranma grumped. No matter if he had to do stupid work, it beat having to get a job to pay for food. "But first we got stuff to do."
"Oh?," Sheila asked.
The two ran outside, and began their kata, throwing punches and kicks at an invisible opponent.
"Martial arts," Willow groaned. "I'm going upstairs, Mum."
* * *
The next day found a frazzled Willow being woken up early by the two newly resident martial artists. Again. She was getting sick of this.
The redhead didn't bother brushing her hair or getting changed this morning. She shuffled downstairs in her pajamas and sat at the breakfast table morosely.
"Awww, come on Willow-tree," her dad coaxed her. "It isn't all that bad... you just need to get to bed earlier, that's all."
Willow exploded at this. "Those two sleep in class, they don't do their homework, they eat like starving horses, and they keep waking me up at oh dark hundred in the morning! I can't take much more of this!"
The two parents exchanged a Look.
"I'll have a talk with them," her father promised. "Okay, baby?"
He gave her a hug.
"Okay, daddy," Willow sniffled, over her tantrum.
Ira walked outside to find the two fighting over his new pond. They kept jumping thirty feet in the air, exchanging blows and attempting throws, then landing and jumping at the other all over again.
"Excuse me," he started.
"Yeah, Mr Rosenberg?," Xander said politely, while hitting Ranma in the head.
"Did you two do your homework last night?," he asked.
"Sure we did!," Ranma said, kicking Xander in the ribs. "Uh, we did, right Xan?"
The response from his training partner was lost as the American boy hit the surface of the pond, getting soaking wet. Ranma landed on the edge of the pond, balanced on one foot.
Ira Rosenberg was lost for words as the former human changed into a two hundred pound tiger... right in front of his eyes... that wasn't possible...
"Uh, did we forget to mention our curses?," Ranma laughed nervously.
"But... but... but...," Ira repeated, like a broken lawnmower.
Willow stomped out, still irate at the two lazy boys. "Did you break my dad, Ranma?"
* * *
Post-fic Comments:
If Willow seems OOC,remember that she's known Buffy for awhile now, and hasn't seem Xander for a decade or so.