Thanks for the reviews, I had a great April Fools Day – I pranked all my
friends, so I'm in a happy mood, which hopefully means the next chapter
won't be so depressing. Please R n R!
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"Yes Major, I think that will be all" She gives me a look of such hate, and runs out of the room. I can't stand it any longer. I want so badly to run to her, and put my arms around her, and tell her how sorry I am.
But I can't. I made this bed, and now I have to lie in it.
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Chapter 4 – Taking Over
It hurts so much inside. I can't believe he doesn't care about me at all. And what hurts the most is that that reaction was because of either too things: he wanted to hurt me, or, he cares so little, he didn't even realize he was hurting me. I don't know which one feels worse.
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I felt like such a bastard. I was so horrible to her. I hate myself. I try telling myself that is was for the best, and that she would forgive me, in time, but knowing I had hurt her so badly made me feel sick inside.
I run to the gate room, knocking a few SFs out of the way, but I'm past caring. I have to tell her, before it's too late. I have to tell her that I'm sorry, and I never, ever wanted to hurt her.
I get to the gate room, but the gate is just powering down. General Hammond walks up beside me, and puts his hand on my shoulder.
"They left a few minutes ago, Colonel, I'm sorry".
I'm too late. She's gone, and she might never know that I was sorry.
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I'm at the Tok'ra base now. The fear is getting incontrollable. I watch them all looking at me, getting excited because I'm going to be one of them. I'm not going to be one of you, I cry inwardly. I'll never be one of you.
We're reaching the infirmary now. I hug Daniel and Teal'c, and tell them both I love them, just incase it something goes wrong. Daniel insists nothing will go wrong, more trying to convince himself rather than me. Teal'c merely bows his head.
My dad follows me in. I sit on the bed, the same one my dad lay on when he became a Tok'ra, and my whole body is now shaking. I insist to my dad it's just nerves, and he seems satisfied with this answer.
I lie next to the host, and chat to her. I don't hear a word she says; my mind is now too foggy. The symbiote now talks to me, and I just nod when she pauses, like I'm concentrating, not hearing a word.
She asks me if I'm sure, and I give her the same automated response I give my dad: that I'm fine, just nervous.
She closes her eyes, and I close mine. I can barely breathe now. I feel the symbiote enter my body, and feel so sick, I want to throw up.
"Jack" I whisper, feeling like I need him now more than I ever have. But he's not here. The tears fall slowly down my cheeks, my arms feeling too heavy to wipe them away.
I lie, thinking about him, as the whole world fades to grey. Just before I fall asleep, I hear Daniel whisper to my father "What now?" I want to know the same thing, but it's getting harder to concentrate on the words.
"Now we wait" He says.
TBC
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Sorry if it got a bit too graphic there, but what did you think? You know the drill, please R n R!
*********************************
"Yes Major, I think that will be all" She gives me a look of such hate, and runs out of the room. I can't stand it any longer. I want so badly to run to her, and put my arms around her, and tell her how sorry I am.
But I can't. I made this bed, and now I have to lie in it.
**********************************
Chapter 4 – Taking Over
It hurts so much inside. I can't believe he doesn't care about me at all. And what hurts the most is that that reaction was because of either too things: he wanted to hurt me, or, he cares so little, he didn't even realize he was hurting me. I don't know which one feels worse.
*******************************************************************
I felt like such a bastard. I was so horrible to her. I hate myself. I try telling myself that is was for the best, and that she would forgive me, in time, but knowing I had hurt her so badly made me feel sick inside.
I run to the gate room, knocking a few SFs out of the way, but I'm past caring. I have to tell her, before it's too late. I have to tell her that I'm sorry, and I never, ever wanted to hurt her.
I get to the gate room, but the gate is just powering down. General Hammond walks up beside me, and puts his hand on my shoulder.
"They left a few minutes ago, Colonel, I'm sorry".
I'm too late. She's gone, and she might never know that I was sorry.
*******************************************************************
I'm at the Tok'ra base now. The fear is getting incontrollable. I watch them all looking at me, getting excited because I'm going to be one of them. I'm not going to be one of you, I cry inwardly. I'll never be one of you.
We're reaching the infirmary now. I hug Daniel and Teal'c, and tell them both I love them, just incase it something goes wrong. Daniel insists nothing will go wrong, more trying to convince himself rather than me. Teal'c merely bows his head.
My dad follows me in. I sit on the bed, the same one my dad lay on when he became a Tok'ra, and my whole body is now shaking. I insist to my dad it's just nerves, and he seems satisfied with this answer.
I lie next to the host, and chat to her. I don't hear a word she says; my mind is now too foggy. The symbiote now talks to me, and I just nod when she pauses, like I'm concentrating, not hearing a word.
She asks me if I'm sure, and I give her the same automated response I give my dad: that I'm fine, just nervous.
She closes her eyes, and I close mine. I can barely breathe now. I feel the symbiote enter my body, and feel so sick, I want to throw up.
"Jack" I whisper, feeling like I need him now more than I ever have. But he's not here. The tears fall slowly down my cheeks, my arms feeling too heavy to wipe them away.
I lie, thinking about him, as the whole world fades to grey. Just before I fall asleep, I hear Daniel whisper to my father "What now?" I want to know the same thing, but it's getting harder to concentrate on the words.
"Now we wait" He says.
TBC
*******************************************************************
Sorry if it got a bit too graphic there, but what did you think? You know the drill, please R n R!