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Secret, Part 7

Prussian blue eyes remained wide with shock as he looked down at her bent head. It wasn't what he expected her to say at all. He had kept the feelings he had felt when they broke up, locked away. He had loved her and it had ripped something inside of him when she broke it off. He blinked several times before lifting his hand and catching her chin, forcing her to look at him. There was absolute misery shining in her eyes, as well as shame and guilt. He didn't know what to say. There was no response for what she had just revealed to him. He looked up and down the hall before pushing her gently back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. His throat and chest felt tight.

When he didn't say anything, but continued to hold her chin up so she couldn't avoid his gaze. Her eyes closed again as more tears spilled down her cheeks. "That's why. That's why I broke up with you…I couldn't do it…I was hurting you every time I pulled away. I couldn't stand it so I…"

"When?"

"What?"

"When did this happen, Kit?"

Her eyes opened in surprise at the underlying anger in his voice. Quatrina could see him keeping it under control, but just barely. He always grew cold when he was angry. Icy. Hard. It was frightening to see him like this, when he was normally the complete opposite. More like his mother in terms of personality then his father. Only like this, could she see the Heero in him. "That summer before we turned seventeen."

"When that summer?"

The razor edge to his voice made her flinch. "Late June."

He noted her reaction and his face softened. He stroked her cheek with his fingers. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to come out like that." The muscles in her face relaxed, but her eyes still remained wary. "What happened, Kit? How?" he asked softly.

Pulling away, she went and sat down on the edge of the bed. She waited until he sat down beside her. She stared at her folded hands and gasped in surprise when his hand covered hers. Her eyes rose to meet his. The cold look in his eyes was gone. This was the Dominic everyone knew. The one that she had cared so much about, the one that had loved her so much even though he never said it.  "I was out, running. Alone. Something I shouldn't have done. I didn't want to wake Damien, so I went alone…and I was kidnapped…"

Dominic could tell she was having a hard time saying this. Deep down, he was sure she hadn't told anyone about this. There was a fury boiling inside of him. Someone had hurt her. Someone he loved. He forced himself to rein it in, but it was so hard. All he wanted to do now was find the person that did this to her and kill them. "By who?" he asked, keeping his voice controlled and quiet.

"A desert prince…he had asked my father for my hand in marriage, but my dad refused him. I was fifteen when that happened…he bided his time and…he took me…He told me he wasn't going to ask again…so he took me, but it wasn't for marriage…I was to be one of the…girls…in his harem…"

"Harem?" he bit out this time, not able to keep the fury from shooting to the surface.

"…Yes…" she replied, taking notice of the rage burning in his eyes like blue flames. "…I was "trained" and then…he…he…" The memories flashed like a kaleidoscope in her mind. The pain. The anger. The fear. "I can't," she whispered, bringing her hands up to her face.

His mouth was twitching. He longed to punch something. Demolish it and preferably the man that did it to her. His hand reached up and pulled her hands away from her face. Her face was red and wet with tears. "He hurt you really bad."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Quatrina nodded her head. "I tried to fight, but…"

Images of his own making swirled through his mind. "Damn him. That bastard. That fucking bastard." The image of her fear, of her trying to fight back, made him want to explode. "How did you get away?" His voice was shaking, trying to control what was rolling around inside of him.

"Our fathers. They came and rescued me. Your father and my uncle found me."

"My father knows?"

"Yes. All of them know. All of the mothers know too."

"Anyone else?"

"The Lady. Marimaia."

"Any of us?"

"My brothers. That's all."

"Why? Why didn't you tell me, Kit? Why?"

"I was ashamed. It was my fault!"

"How was it your fault?"

"Look at me! Look at what I look like! Because of my looks, because of my own foolishness of thinking I could be alone, I got taken, and I got hurt!"

"It's not your fault! Don't you dare say something like that again!"

Her shoulders jerked upright and her head snapped around to look at him. There was a look in his eyes that she couldn't describe. "Dominic?"

"Just because you're a beautiful desirable woman, doesn't mean that you can be hurt like that. You should never blame yourself because of them. HE was the one who is to blame, thinking that a fifteen-year-old girl on the verge of sixteen is old enough to be married. He would've had me to go through besides," finished Dominic with a growl. "HE had no right to touch you. To cause you pain like that. You shouldn't feel guilt or shame for what happened to you. It's not your fault."

Bowing her head again, she looked down at the material of her dress. "I tried." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I went for counseling from one of my aunts on L4 after the incident. I tried and I slowly stared not flinching when some guy came near me. I was also in an environment, in which I couldn't avoid the contact with many male cousins. I got used to it and I stopped jumping…but then I returned here. All my fears…everything came back. And as much as I hid it, I jumped every time a guy came near me. Even you," she finished softly.

He remembered too. When he kissed her, she would automatically pull away or keep her hands on his arms to keep him at a distance. Or when he had managed to get full physical contact with her, he could feel the rapid pounding of her heart, her breath becoming quick and short, and the ridged way she held herself in his arms. He had been perceptive enough to know that something was bothering her, but he hadn't wanted to pry, so he patiently waited for her to tell him whenever she was ready. It hadn't. She broke up with him instead and she had been in tears. The huge amethyst eyes pooling with tears that were being held back and her teeth making imprints in her lower lip as she tried not to cry. She was the first girl to break HIS heart. "Kit…"

"I didn't want to. I didn't want to hurt anyone and I felt that if I continued to stay with you, I would hurt you. I didn't want to do that. I was too scared to tell you…I didn't want anyone to know."

With a sigh, he pulled her into his arms. "It did hurt me, but I did get over it. I sometimes used to think that it was something that I did to make you pull away, but now this…I understand why. Kit, I understand. You don't have to be sorry. You don't have to feel guilt."

The familiar feel of his arms around her made her crack a tremulous smile against his shoulder. Her tears still trickled down her cheeks to soak the soft material of his shirt. "It made me feel like such a coward. I knew…I knew that by lying to you, I was running away."

Dominic didn't say anything, but rested his cheek against her hair. His fingers moved up and down her back, comforting her in the only way he knew how. "I don't think you're a coward. You're probably one of the bravest women I know. You got through it and now, you're going to be married to Zach."

She shook her head against his shoulder and a frown creased her lips. "He…he doesn't know."

Shocked, he leaned away from her and looked into her face. "You haven't told him?"

"No."

"Have you tried?"

"Yes! I've tried, but I…I don't know how. I don't want him to know, but I know I should tell him. I tried telling him not to long ago, but Damien and Thad got into a fight about Penny…and the opportunity passed."

There was that look of misery again. "Don't you think that you should?"

"Yes."

"But…"

"…But I can't…I mean…I feel like he would understand, but…then I would be shattering what he thinks of me, what he thinks me to be…"

"And what does he think of you?"

"That I'm still a virgin, which I made him believe, even though I'm not."

"You think he would really care considering the circumstances?"

"Would you?"

Taken aback by her question, he looked into violet eyes. There were no more tears to cloud them anymore. He looked away for a moment. "Zach…" he turned his eyes back towards hers again. "…Loves you and is marrying you… no…I don't think he would care if what you told him was a lie. He would love you no matter what."

"I wasn't asking about him, I was asking about you."

"I wouldn't care either. I…" he didn't meet her eyes as he ducked his head. "I mean…I felt the same way about you…" His eyes returned to hers. "You knew that, didn't you?"

She looked down at her hand and his resting over it. His fingers were loosely intertwined with hers. His messy bangs nearly hid his Prussian blue eyes from her, but the blue peeking through the brown held a wealth of emotion in them. "Yes, I knew," she replied quietly.

"Zach asked my permission, you know."

"About what?"

"When he asked you out. He asked me if I felt alright about it…and if it wasn't he wasn't going to ask you."

"Dominic…"

"I said yes because of how I felt about you. You being happy was important to me…and I thought if it couldn't be with me…maybe someone else could make you happy like I wanted to…I wanted to be the one to make you smile and hold onto you, but…I realized that sometimes, the greatest love has to be given up…I loved you enough to finally be ok with not having you. Your happiness was more important than mine. That's why I said yes when he asked if it was ok."

His voice was barely above a whisper. The roughness, the emotion in his voice made her throat tighten and her eyes feel hot.

"And he made you happy. He made you smile and laugh. And that was enough for me. Just seeing you like that was enough. That's what made me go on."

She didn't blink. Her lips remained parted in surprise. "Dominic, I…"

He looked up at her through his bangs. A rueful smile quirked his mouth. "Would you know me to be any other way?" he asked before looking down at their hands again. "Yes, I admit that seeing you two the first couple of times did bother me…hell, I was somewhat jealous, but I knew I did the right thing by saying yes. And I know you love him. You wouldn't be marrying him if you didn't."

"But…"

He pressed a finger against her lips. "Kit, no one is more deserving of you than he is. If I didn't think he could take care of you and make you happy, I wouldn't have said yes in the first place. I'm probably one of the most unselfish people that you know."

Both her hands rose and locked about his wrist, pulling his fingers away. "Dominic, I'm sorry I never told you…I'm sorry for a lot of things. I know I should say something to him, but I…can't. I just can't…I can barely tell you, how could I bear to tell him?"

The slightly younger man shook his head. "Because you're strong. You'll find a way to tell him. And you need to."

She shook her head, sending curls and waves over her shoulders. "No, I can't. I'm not as strong as you think I am. Its better he doesn't know. I don't want him to. Now, promise me."

"Kit…"

"Promise me, Dominic. If you loved me as much as you say you did. As much as you care about me now, please…just promise me that you'll never tell him."

"Kit…you…"

"Dominic…Please!"

Prussian blue met violet. They were brimming with tears again. Her hands were gripping his wrist tightly, nearly cutting off circulation. Those tears. The look on her face. He knew he couldn't say no. He shut his eyes. "I promise." He opened his again. "But promise me something too?"

"What?"

He gently pried her hands from his wrist and clasped them between his own. "Promise me, you'll try to tell him before you're married. You have to try to tell him. Promise me."

Relief coursed through her at his answer, but what he was asking of her. He was so serious about this, so dead set. "I…promise…I'll try," she replied, reluctant, but he had given his word that he wouldn't tell, so she had to give hers as well. "I don't make guarantees."

"Just as long as you try…I don't care. It's more for your own sake than for mine. I know you can do it."

"Do you?"

Startled by her question, he slowly nodded his head. A tender smile touched his lips before he cupped her cheeks between his hands and leaned down to look into her eyes. "I have faith in you. I believe that you can."

His face was close to hers that she could feel his breath brushing against every inch of her face. His eyes were intent on hers. Those eyes of his with those long thick lashes had always been the envy of a lot of girls, she included. They could make a woman forget everything. She could remember when he would just stare into her eyes. They certainly had an effect on her. They still did. A blush spread across her face.

"You're still pretty cute when you blush like that."

Her face turned even redder.

Dominic stroked her cheeks with his thumbs before tilting her head forwards. He pressed his lips against her forehead. And just for a moment, he let himself remember how smooth her skin was, how sweet she smelled, and how soft her lips were. But they were memories. He closed his eyes and brushed another kiss across her skin. "If you need to talk to me about anything…you know I'll be here for you. I promise." Opening his eyes again, he rested his forehead against hers and looked into her brimming eyes. All he could do was look at her. "Now, be a good girl and get changed. I'll take you out to lunch."

Quatrina watched him as he stood and walked back to the door. His heart had been his eyes just then. She knew that he meant what he said and she would always remember the look in his eyes in those few moments. A small smile touched her lips and she nodded her head. "Ok…And Dominic…"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

He bent his head down, his bangs coming to rest on his forehead as he looked at her over his shoulder. "Don't mention it, Kit," he said as he finally opened the door. Once he closed it behind him, he leaned against it. A wry smile touched his lips. "What a twist of fate. If I had only known…" he sighed, but he shook his head. "But she has Zach now. He'll take good care of her like I wanted to, but I have Morgan now…and that's how the fates go."

She sat on the bed a moment longer. The warmth of Dominic's fingers was still imprinted on her cheeks and the gentle touch of his lips on her forehead. He had always been like that. Sweet, gentle, somewhat of a flirt, but so boyish in the way he went about it. A slight frown then creased her lips. Zach. She would have to tell him. "I hope I can, I really hope I can keep your promise, Dominic. If not for you...for me."

A/N: How did you like that chapter? (Grins) Well, stay tuned for more! XOXO!!