AN: Er......hey everyone! *gets pelted with tomatoes*Ick......so mushy....

Lawyer 698745: WHERE DID YOU GO?!

Uh, well, you see......

Lawyer 456: You'd better have a really good excuse, orit's..... *makes cutting motion with finger against throat*

Heh....uh...whoever doesn't hurt me gets a cookie!*sees enraged readers and lawyers* Uh...two cookies?How about a disclaimer? I don't own Inuyasha! There! Happy? Please don't hurt me!

Lawyer 6: GET HER!! SHE'S KEPT US WAITING WAY TOO LONG!

Eep! HELP ME!


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All's Fair in Love and Reality Shows

Chapter Seven

Family Time

~~~~~~~


~*~ ^_^ ~*~

The group of angry game show participants were seated around a table, with Sesshomaru at the head. Any other person would have found the sight almost comical, for they gave off the impression that they were King Arthur's knights seated at the round table. But the contestants were far from laughing. For here they
were, in the midst of a heated debate over the gameshow's use of security tapes.

"It's against the law to tape someone without their consent and broadcast it!" Inuyasha said angrily, slamming his opened palm on the table.

"Calm yourself, Inuyasha. Apparently you did not read your contract well enough." Sesshomaru sat in his high-backed chair, fingertips together, as serene as a lake on a summer day.

"Contract? We ain't seen no stinkin' contract!" Kouga stood up and glared at the placid host.

"Of course you did. It arrived in the mail awhile ago. It did not say in bold print 'this is a contract for a reality show' on it, because you were supposed to be surprised when you were told you were going to be on television. It was made to look like a simple government survey. At the very bottom it says 'I agree to the use of any security tapes and/or recorded conversations on the show,'" Here Sesshomaru drew a piece of off-white paper out of a briefcase held by one of his associates, and pointed to the bottom.

"It then gives you a choice of yes or no," he continued, "Everyone except Nazuna checked the yes box, therefore Nazuna is not taking part in this show. She apparently read the question, instead of mindlessly checking the boxes like the lot of you clearly did. Now, if you will excuse me, I have other things to do." Standing up and ushering the fuming group out, he deftly snatched the tape out of Sango's hands and shut the door behind him.

"Wonderful," Sango spat bitterly.

"Look, all we can do right now is keep on going. You have to look on the bright side of things!" Kagome attempted a smile, but failed as she saw the dark looks her small sermon gained.

"There's a bright side to this?" Miroku asked, cocking his head to one side.

"Look guys, what do you want to do? Burn down the hotel and run around screaming how unjust a reality show is? Hello, they're called reality shows for a reason. Life isn't fair all of the time!" Shippou crossed his arms and looked expectantly at the group before him. "Now c'mon. Just keep your chins up and your eyes out for any security cameras we can "accidentally" punch out."

Inuyasha let out a low growl as he surveyed the hall for any spying cameras. "Feh. Whatever. Let's go and eat something. I need food to take my mind off of a certain reality show host." With that statement, the bunch trudged up to their rooms to enjoy the luxury of room service.

~*~ ^_^ ~*~

Night couldn't come soon enough for Kagome. Making sure no one was in the bathroom, a newly acquired habit after her run-in with a shirtless Inuyasha, she ducked in and began to change. Coming out in her pajamas, she yawned and flung herself on her bed. Just as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard a sound so deafening that she thought a gang of motorcycle-riders were outside her bedroom, revving up for a race. She looked over to her left side, and saw Inuyasha ears poking out from underneath the pillow smashed on his face. "Hey, Inuyasha, you awake?"

"Unfortunately," he groaned. "What the hell is that sound?"

"Sounds like motorcycles, or chainsaws taking down an
entire rainforest."

"How the hell can Kouga sleep through this racket? You know, I bet it's....him....snoring...." It finally dawned on them. Jumping right out of bed, the pair roughly shook Kouga awake.

"Whadaya want?"

"You make one more sound tonight and I will personally rip out your vocal cords. Got it?" Inuyasha growled to enforce his statement, then clambered back into bed.

Kagome yawned and shook her head at Inuyasha's back, then turned to Kouga. "You might want to see a doctor. Making sounds like a pack of ferocious junkyard dogs in your sleep cannot be healthy." She trotted back to her own bed, leaving Kouga to ponder his snoring problem.

~*~ ^_^ ~*~

Sunlight lit up the Cherry Blossom Suite as dawn finally came, arousing Kagome from her sleep. "Damn curtains," she muttered as she glanced at the clock next to her bed, which blinked 5:02 a.m. at her. "Stop mocking me, you horrible excuse for technology!" Mumbling a string of colorful curses and blinking, Kagome plodded into the bathroom, figuring there was no way she could get back to sleep, anyway.

Apparently, Kouga had started snoring again during the night, but luckily for him, she and Inuyasha had been too deep in dreamland to hear. Between Kouga and the curtains, she was never going to get a decent night's sleep.

~*~ ^_^ ~*~

"Hello dear Kagome, my dove, my ray of sunshine, center of my heart. How are you this lovely morning?" Miroku grinned widely and dropped his plate down across from said girl, joined shortly by Sango. They were at a small table in the middle of the hotel restaurant, taking advantage of the generous buffet.

"Shut up Miroku, you lech." She punched his arm, then turned to Kagome, leaving Miroku to rub his abused flesh in pain. "Man, you look awful Kag. Rough night?"

"Does Sesshomaru look homosexual?" she grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"I guess that means yes..." Kagome shot Sango an exasperated look.

"Between the stupid curtains being left open and the sounds emitting from Kouga that sound like a motorcycle race, I got about four hours of sleep."

"THAT'S what that sound was?" Shippou had joined them with Rin in tow. "I thought bombs were being dropped!"

"Har har, you guys are hilarious," Kouga had shown up at their table, crowding it even more.

"You had better not snore again, or I will be forced to follow through with my threat," Inuyasha arrived, laden down with two plates of food. Pulling up a chair to the tiny table, he began to dig in. After a few moments, he finally noticed his friends' stares. "Wha'?"

"Does Inuyasha have any manners at all, Shippou-kun?" Rin seemed repulsed and transfixed by Inuyasha's eating habits, as were everyone else.

"Nope. Not a single one." Shippou said with a smile, earning him a bop on the head from Inuyasha.

Their conversation on Inuyasha's manners, or lack there of, was cut short as the soft elevator music switched off, and a voice came on the loudspeaker. "All contestants for 'Hectic Hotel,' please report to the lobby. That is all." The music switched back on, and Kagome's crammed table sighed and reluctantly got up, the other diners' stares following them.

~*~ ^_^~ *~

As soon as the last contestants filed into the lobby, Sesshomaru began his speech. "I trust you all had a good night's sleep!" A few halfhearted moans were the reply. "Well, you'll need to stay awake for the next challenge! Since you all are going to be spending awhile with your partners, you should get to know their families. Here is your challenge: you will be spending one night with one of your partner's families. Each group will be assigned a hand-held camera to record their actions. At the end of the stay, families will be questioned by judges, and points will be rewarded according to their reports. Any questions?"

No hands were raised, so Sesshomaru continued on. "Drivers have been instructed of where each of you live. You need only to tell them which one of your families you will be going to, and they will take you. I will pass out cameras now, and as soon as I say go, it will begin." Video cameras were passed out to each pair of contestants. "Decide now whose family you will be going to. You have five minutes." He glanced at the hotel lobby's clock, then looked expectantly at the unmoving contestants. "Come on! Time is wasting!"

Shrugging, Inuyasha glanced at his partners. "No way we're going back to my place. My parent's are.....gone. And I've got a psycho half-brother who isn't there either." He looked over at Kouga. "How about you?"

"Nah. I've got one huge, extended family crammed into one house. You really, really don't want to step foot in there. You might step on a land mine or something."

Kagome didn't know whether to laugh at Kouga's remark, but after glancing at his solemn face, she decided against it. "Well, I guess that leaves my place. I'm sure my family won't mind." Ha, she thought. Mind? They'll probably go crazy over them, treating them like long-lost relatives.

~*~ ^_^ ~*~

"Look, we can't go back to my house. No one's there. All I've got is my adoptive father, Mushin, who'd spend the whole time either drinking or sleeping off the drink." He gave Sango a wry smile. "Wonderful family I've got, huh? Oh wait, then there's my dog, Kazaana, but he's never really around."

Sango chewed on her lower lip. Man, and she thought she had it bad. Poor Miroku, no real family left at all! "Well, I guess we can go to my place. I've got a cat and a teenage brother. That's about it. Oh, and whichever neighbor volunteered to make sure Kohaku doesn't burn down the house."

"So it's settled then. We go to your place. Where we can ship your brother to a friend's house while we have the house to ourselves..." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, before receiving a slap from a rather pissed-off Sango.

"Oh, this will be so much fun...."

~*~ ^_^ ~*~

"Does Shippou want to go to Rin's house or Shippou's?" Rin bounced up and down on the sofa next to Shippou.

"Er, Shippou-I mean I guess we can go to my house. The only problem is that no one's going to be there."

"Why not?"

"My parents both died."

"Oh," Rin stopped bouncing. "Rin's parents went away too. We can go to Rin's house, if Shippou-chan wants to..."

"Nah, we can go to mine. I'm sure some relative of mine is there. They like to switch out every so often, just to keep an eye on me," Shippou smiled as Rin nodded happily then began bouncing once more.

~*~ ^_^ ~*~

Kikyou yawned for what seemed the hundredth time. She'd lost count somewhere near sixty-seven. Looking up from her inspection of the lobby's walls, she stretched and asked, "So, whose house?"

"Mine. I've got a brother, Onigumo."

"'Kay." She yawned again, then went back to examining the walls, wondering why in the world she was stuck with such a boring idiot. Her bad luck never failed her, apparently.

~*~ ^_^ ~*~

"Time," Sesshomaru looked back to the contestants. Some were still squabbling over which partner's house to go to, but he was relieved no fist fights had broken out. Yet. "You may go upstairs to pack a few clothes, then report back here in twenty minutes."

He waved his hand to dismiss them, then sunk into an armchair. Why did he get stuck hosting the boring shows? He'd much rather be the host of a show where people were bumped off each week, and the contestants had to figure out the murderer. Now that was entertainment.

Finally the twenty minutes were up, rousing Sesshomaru from his extreme boredom. The contestants had begun to crowd back into the lobby, dragging duffel bags and, in Kagome's case, a big, bright yellow backpack.

"Is everyone here?" Sesshomaru surveyed the crowd. "Good. Now, the drivers are waiting outside. You may begin....ack!" A stampede had erupted in the hotel lobby, as all of the contestants rushed out of the doors, cameras in hand, rushing to get to the cars provided by the show. "Praise the lord! I don't have to deal with that lot for the next twenty-four hours!" Sesshomaru strode up the stairs for a long, quiet, well-deserved nap.

~*~ ^_^ ~*~

After what seemed like forever, the car carrying Kagome, Inuyasha, and Kouga finally chugged to a stop in front of Kagome's house. Or, shrine, actually.

"You live in a shrine?" Inuyasha looked over at Kagome, who gave him a shrug in return.

"Grandpa loves the place, and we don't have the heart to make him move.  Now, come on!" She grabbed her bag from the trunk and raced up the steps to her house, breathlessly searching through her pockets for her key.

"Uh, okay then. Don't wait for us!" Inuyasha looked on as Kagome sprinted to her house. He gave Kouga a shrug, before heaving his bag onto his shoulder and motioning for Kouga to follow.

 Finally, she had found the key. The stupid thing had burrowed into the far corners of the bottom of her bag. Shoving the small piece of metal into the lock, she burst in through the door shouting, "MOM! SOUTA! GRANDPA! I'M BACK!" She grinned as she saw the rather confused faces of her family members peer out through doors, before they rushed over to greet her.

"What are you doing back, honey? Is the show over? And who are these fine gentlemen?" Her mother stepped back from embracing her daughter to survey Kagome's entourage.

"Oh, right! No Mom, the show's not over, they're still taping it. But one of our challenges was to spend twenty-four hours at someone's house, and guess who was the lucky one?"

"You?" Her brother's eyes were still surveying a rather nervous Kouga and Inuyasha.

"Good job, squirt. Anyway, this is one of my partners, Inuyasha," she gestured towards Inuyasha's scowling form, "and this is my other partner, Kouga." She pointed to Kouga's overwhelmed figure. "Kouga, Inuyasha, this is my mom, Grandpa, and annoying little brother, Souta."

"Er, nice to, uh, meet you, Mrs. Higurashi. And, uh, Kagome's grandpa. And Souta." Inuyasha reluctantly shook Kagome's mother's hand, then Kouga followed suit.

"I can see where Kagome got her beautiful looks," Kouga said with a smile towards Mrs. Higurashi.

"Oh please! Come on, I wanna show you guys my bedroom!" As quick as a flash, Souta was dragging a bewildered Kouga and a befuddled Inuyasha to his quarters.

"Well, we're glad to have you and your friends here, Kagome. Now, where did they come from, again?" Her grandfather patted her back. "And what's this nonsense about a television show?"

Rolling her eyes, Kagome took her grandfather's arm and said, "I'm sure Mom will tell you all about it. Right now, all I want is a nice, hot shower and some food."

"I'm sure your friends want something to eat too. I'll go and get a little something together. How does ramen sound?" Her mother smiled again at her, while taking her grandfather's arm and leading him into the kitchen.

"It sounds wonderful! You have no idea how great it is to be home for a bit! Now, time for that shower..."

~*~ ^_^ ~*~

AN: There, a lot longer than my other chapters, as an apology from my sudden absence. Ew, but I thought the ending was rather cheesy. Ah, well. I'll fix it up a bit in the next chapter....

Lawyer 63214589678: Next chapter? When will that be?

Uh, soon?

Lawyer 32: Not good enough! If you don't update within the next week, we will....uh....we will....er....do something...bad!

Bad? How bad?

Lawyer #985: Horrible. Something so incredibly awful, we haven't even thought of it yet!

Oh, joy.

Oh, and although I'm sure all of you know by now, this little fic is dedicated to Aeja, or Aejavu. I am sad to report, however, that I haven't been in contact with her for awhile. I'm sorry Aeja!!!

Lawyer 20145: Remember: something bad!

Ooh, look at me, I'm shaking!