Disclaimer:The characters don`t belong to me!
Warnings:Character death,mild Evy/Ardeth
A.n. :English isn`t my mother tongue so there might be some mistakes.
I hope I`ve managed to write Evy`s conflicting emotions without making her seem fickle or worse,slutty.
They had received the letter this morning,the stamp showed it had been posted over a week ago.A telegram would have been faster of course but,looking back,Evy was glad that the horrible news hadn´t reached them in such a cold and impersonal way.And what difference did a few days make when what had happened couldn`t be undone anyway?
Alex had plunked the letter onto the breakfast table right under Evy`s nose.
"From uncle Jonathan,he`s probably in trouble…again."
Probably?Evy had thought.If Jonathan wrote more than once every two or three months he was most likely in trouble.He had been forced to give up his diamond to the authorities and,after idling about in their house in an insufferable mood for a few weeks,had received a letter from a somewhat questionable Egyptian acquaintance,promising the perfect investment.His mood considerably lightened,he`d immediately returned to Cairo.
"You know,the best thing about oil is,although it`s been in the ground for billions of years,it has absolutely no historical value whatsoever,"he´d told Evy upon his departure.
So Evy had opened the letter expecting a melodramatic plea to "please,bail your only brother out,"again or something similar.She hadn`t been prepared for what she was to read.Ardeth Bey,their loyal friend and ally was dead.He had been found with his throat cut near an excavation site in the desert.Some artefacts had been stolen from the site and Ardeth`s scimitar and the amulett he`d worn had been misssing.The magnificent warrior who had emerged virtually unscathed from seemingly hopeless battles,who had fearlessly faced an army of demons,had been killed by common thieves,Evy couldn´t believe it.
Dark blotches had suddenly bloomed on the letter in her hands,blurring single letters into inky flowers,and for a second,Evy had been confused until she`d realized she`d begun to cry without even noticing.
"Mum,is uncle Jonathan alright?"Alex had asked in a very small voice.
She`d wiped her eyes and nodded,"Uncle Jonathan´s fine,but could you…could you please fetch your father?"
The rest of the day had passed in a depressing blur,Alex had cried openly when he`d heard the news,something he,despite of his age,only very rarely did.Rick had been furious like Evy had never seen him before,cursing Ardeth`s killers and vowing to avenge him,but also wiping his eyes a couple of times when he thought she wasn`t looking.Evy had read the letter again and again,because maybe there was something she´d overlooked,maybe it was just some bizarre misunderstanding,maybe Ardeth wasn`t really dead.
It was night now,Evy,Rick and Alex had spent the evening sitting in their salon together, remembering the last time they´d seen Ardeth Bey when he`d bid them farewell before they´d returned to England.Rick hadn`t said much,most of the time staring gloomily ahead and Evy had often seen him clench his jaw in ill-disguised rage.She knew that in his head he was already planning going back to Egypt to hunt down Ardeth`s killers.
Evy had put Alex to bed and was now sitting at her dressing table,absentmindedly brushing her hair,staring at her reflection without really seeing herself.Her mind was racing with incoherent thoughts.She could faintly hear Rick downstairs in the salon,dictating a telegram through the phone in an irritated voice.
Somehow Evy felt grateful that she had a moment for herself now,because now she could allow herself to remember something more than the feelings of friendship that she`d had for Ardeth Bey,something she had kept locked in her heart,hidden even from Rick.She had loved Ardeth,loved him just as deeply as she loved Rick.
She wasn`t completely sure when exactly she had fallen for him,but she knew that after he had so suddenly turned up in their house to protect them from Meela and her fanatical henchmen,she had slowly begun to see more in him than just a friend.Of course the following days then had been so nerve-racking,she`d had not much time to dwell on this new emotion,but it had been there nonetheless.It had not been until after their ordeal was over that she had contemplated her feelings.She let her mind wander back to the last time she`d seen him.He knew,she thought,he knew but I didn`t understand.
Izzy`s blimp had apparently suffered more than they´d at first thought,the rudder repeatedly jamming,so that shortly after Izzy had rescued them from the desintegrating pyramid, they`d only been able to fly in circles and had been forced to land.On foot and without water they certainly wouldn`t have made it far,but fortunately a small group of Med-Jai,including Ardeth Bey,had still been near.Since there was no chance of them reaching the next settlement before dark,it was decided that they would pitch camp and continue early the following day.
Dusk had only just begun and although Evy usually loved watching the sun set over the desert,she had felt too tired to stay up any longer and had lain down in the tent that she,Rick and Alex would share.Evy had barely pulled the blanket up over her when sleep was already beginning to cloud her senses.She could faintly hear Alex and Jonathan outside,discussing which would be the best way to get the enormous diamond to England without the authorities finding out.
"If I just put it in my suitcase and they find it,they at least can`t arrest me cause I`m a child."
"Yes,but there are certainly not many children travelling with thirty-pound diamonds in their baggage,and they just might not believe that it`s yours and anyway,imagine you`d lose it,then I`d have to kill you or at least myself and then I`d be diamond-less and dead."
Somewhere further off,Evy thought she could hear Izzy,and although she couldn`t understand what he was saying,it most probably had something to do with the his damaged blimp.
Poor Rick,she thought,she probably should go and rescue him from his melodramatic buddy`s lamenting,but she was just too tired and her body still felt sore from her fight with Meela,so she simply snuggled deeper under her blanket and allowed herself to fall asleep.
It was still dark when she awoke and,for a moment,Evy was confused about where exactly she was before she remembered.She could hear Rick breathing right next to her and Alex snoring softly a bit further away.She stretched and turned around,hoping she would be able to go back to sleep again but found that the pleasant haze of sleep had left her and her thoughts were beginning to wander.
Evy couldn`t help but thinking that in spite of everything,she would miss Egypt.It was strange,home was supposed to be where the heart is,but often her heart seemed to be in Egypt and England at the same time.Your heart seems to be a lot of places lately,a voice in her head warned,places it doesn´t belong.
Evy sighed,that was only too true,and yet what could she do about it?Frustrated with herself,she tried to keep her mind from straying into that direction,to somehow stop herself from thinking of Him.Ardeth Bey.Evy ran her hand over her eyes as if to chase his image from her mind.She was glad they soon would be separated by thousands of miles,not because she saw him as a temptation she feared she might be in danger of giving in to,but because it made her feel a little less guilty about her feelings for him.
Maybe if she had fallen for him soon after she first met him,she might have been able to brush it of as some kind of silly schoolgirl crush,after all he was a handsome man,there was no denying that,but she hadn´t.Until his sudden reappearence in her life mere days ago,she had simply regarded him as a good friend.
But now,now she was as certain that she loved him as she was certain of her love for Rick.
You crazy,crazy girl,she almost said it out loud.
She still couldn´t explain how Ardeth had been able to so unwittingly win her heart since it completely belonged to Rick.That was true,after nine years she still loved Rick as deeply as on their wedding day.But if she did,then how could it be that she thought of another man with the same deep affection?Her idea of true love had always been that of the fairytale kind.At the end of the story the princess married the prince and they lived happily ever after.That was all,there never suddenly was another prince.But maybe her idea of true love had been somehow childish,life simply wasn`t a fairytale.Why would she love Rick less only because she now also loved another?She loved Rick for just being who he was,nothing could ever change that.Why would loving Ardeth Bey take away from that?Love wasn`t something that could somehow be devided,that had to be shared.It was either there or it wasn`t.
There was no decision,no choice she had to make between Rick,the father of her child,who loved her,who knew she loved him and Ardeth Bey,who would never learn of her feelings for him.It was simply something that would remain hidden within her heart.A feeling she would never act on,but that she couldn`t completely deny either.Almost as if in a field of wild poppies,stretching from horizon to horizon,she had suddenly discovered a single,black rose.
Unexpected and utterly different from the bright flowers surrounding it,but no less beautiful.
There was no betrayal in this,no shameful,secret desire for some forbidden thrill.Only love that would never hurt anyone.Something that she would remember with a smile someday.
It´s not like you can choose who you fall in love with,Evy thought almost a bit defiantly.And actually that was a good thing,because she doubted she would have chosen to fall for Rick when she first met him although she couldn`t imagine life without him now.I suppose I could consider myself quite a lucky woman,she mused,so many people never really love anyone in their entire life.
Smiling wryly to herself,Evy tried to fluff the folded blanket under her head up a bit.It was strange how some blankets on the ground could seem the hight of comfort if you were only tired enough,but reverted back to a somewhat less luxurious state once you were rested.
Deciding that trying to sleep some more was useless,Evy silently got up.Sunrise couldn`t be too far away and she had always loved watching the sun slowly melt out of the sand.Standing in the opening of the tent,she let the night chill raise goosebumps on her arms.That was also part of why she thought the sunrise over the desert so beautiful,you could not only see but feel it,within minutes cold turned into singeing heat.
Digging her hands into her pockets,Evy stepped outside the tent,the sand still a bit warm under her naked feet.Her boots were the only thing she`d bothered taking off for the night.
She had been right,there was a pencil thin streak of pale pink appearing on the horizon,the sun was already beginning to rise.
Wanting a good view,she was about to trudge up a small hill close to the tent,when suddenly she became aware of a tall,dark figure standing on the hilltop.
Of course,Evy reminded herself,the Med-Jai would not leave the camp unguarded.The man had turned his back to her and she was pretty sure he hadn`t noticed her yet,so since she wasn`t sure her company was cared for,she quietly turned round again.
"You won`t have a very good view from there,"the man,whom Evy now recognized to be Ardeth Bey,suddenly said.
Evy jumped,how could she have thought the Med-Jai had not noticed her.She turned round to him.
"View?"
"Yes,I had the impression you wanted to watch the sunrise."
"Oh,well yes,actually I did,but…but I didn´t recognize you and I didn`t want to impose myself,"she explained,quickly walking up to him,not wanting to seem as if she was trying to evade him.
Good gracious,for a second she had feared he thought she was sneaking around the camp in the dark,trying to get a good view of him.Evy had to suppress an embarrassed grin.
Ardeth didn`t turn round to her,almost as if his eyes were fixed on something on the horizon that might disappear if he averted his gaze ever so briefly.Evy was quite glad about that,at the moment she was uncomfortable enough just staring at his broad back.Get a grip on yourself,even Med-Jai can´t read minds,she admonished herself.
For a few moments neither of them spoke,simply watching the thin pink line on the horizon slowly turning a deep,glowing orange.
"It never fails to awe me with it`s beauty,"Ardeth broke the silence
Evy couldn´t remember him having ever given voice to how he thought or felt about something.He seemed to live entirely for his duties as the leader of his people and the fact that he admitted to being awed by the beauty of something surprised her somewhat,there seemed to be little room for beauty in the hard and often violent lives of the Med-Jai.
Evy nodded slowly in agreement,"It`s so different from the English sunrise,the sky seems to be nearer somehow.When I was little,Jonathan told me that if you only ran fast enough,you could reach the horizon and then at sunrise,you could look down and see the sun set on the other side of the world.I actually believed him and tried a couple of times…,"she trailed off,feeling she was rambling again.
Ardeth didn´t answer,but she could hear him chuckle softly.
Again there was a silence between them,as the sun now slowly turned into a ball of golden fire.Evy couldn´t help but smile as the warmth began to flood over her face.Part of the sky was already aflame with yellow and orange,while if she turned round,she could still see some stars,growing fainter and fainter.
"It might sound strange,considering what brought us here,but I am going to miss Egypt.Even if I leave her,she never really leaves me.I don`t know what I´d do if I knew I would never come back here again."
"Yes,"Ardeth simply said,and to Evy there seemed to be a strange sadness in this one word.
"I think none of us,well maybe apart from Jonathan,could imagine not coming back,"she quickly went on,"I`m afraid you won`t get rid of the O`Connells that fast,"she added,sounding a bit too cheerful.
Ardeth slowly shook his head,"I don`t think we`ll meet again."
There was a strange finality in his words,Evy frowned.She was about to ask him why he thought they wouldn`t meet again,when he suddenly turned round to her.
Evy felt her mouth open slightly in shock at the look in his eyes.
He knew!He knows I love him! was all she could think.Evy couldn`t explain why,but there was no doubt to her that he knew.Had it been so obvious?What had she said or done that had given her feelings for him away?Or could Med-Jai maybe read minds after all?There was so much hidden behind Ardeth`s dark eyes that nobody would ever know about.
Evy immediately lowered her gaze,hoping to hide what she knew he would see in it,hoping to somehow deny what they both knew was the truth.Ardeth remained silent,but she could still feel his steady gaze resting on her.She ran a hand over her eyes,exhaling sharply.I have nothing to feel guilty for,she told herself.
"I suppose I`ll just pretend you don`t know and so will you,"she began,"we`ll just stand here in silent unease and embarrasment and watch the sunrise and we´ll be glad when we`re finally parting again,and all because…,"she trailed off,shaking her head,smiling grimly to herself.
When Ardeth still didn`t speak she raised her head to look at him,was he ignoring her because he resented her for her feelings for him?Did he consider them a betrayal to Rick?
But what she saw in his eyes shocked her more than disgust or derision could ever have.Love.He loved her.She had seen that expression of tenderness and longing so often in Rick`s eyes when he looked at her.It seemed to completely transform him,make him younger,gentler.Instead of a fierce warrior he was now just a man in love.
If Evy had thought him handsome before,he seemed breathtakingly beautiful now.She felt her cheeks color at that realisation.The possibility of him returning her feelings had never occurred to her but then,she`d never expected him to find out about them.But now he did know and he loved her,and no matter what her conscience and the proprieties commanded,she just couldn`t take her eyes off of him.
For a moment they only looked at each other.Strangely,there didn`t seem to be any awkwardness in this situation to him.Evy could see neither shame nor guilt in his eyes and she felt herself grow calmer under his tender but unwavering gaze.He simply accepted it,she realized it,accepted that their friendship had turned into love,that they shared feelings none of them could ever,would ever act on.
The sun was now out completely,blazing down on them as they stood facing each other,two motionless,silent figures in the endless desert,unspoken words passing between them.
Evy would have been unable to tell just how long they`d gazed at each other,when Ardeth slowly held out his hands to her,simply offering them,waiting patiently if she would take them.She hesitated briefly,but then placed her hands in his.He looked down at her hands almost reverently for a moment and then bowed until his forehead was lightly touching the backs of her hands.Evy felt a lump form in her throat as this proud,beautiful man bowed to her like she was a queen.
After a few moments he straightened again and slowly let go of her hands.This was his goodbye to her,Evy realized.He´d said he believed they wouldn`t meet again,and for some reason,Evy felt he was right.
"Thank you,"she whispered,finding herself lacking any more eloquent words and,in the end,the was nothing else she could say,was there.
As a response he inclined his head,touching his chest above his heart and then his forehead in the traditional Arabic greeting.
"Assalam `alaikum."*
And with those words he turned and slowly walked back to the camp.
Evy stood staring at the sky for another few minutes,before she made her way back to her tent.Peace be with you wherever you may go,Ardeth Bey,she thought.
They had broken camp soon after and Evy had spent the rest of the day on the back of the Med-Jai horse Rick and she shared,contemplating everything that had happened in the past few days,from Alex` kidnapping,to their dangerous journey to Ahm-Sher,to her brush with death,to the unexpected revelations the last night had brought.
In the evening they had finaly reached a small town,from there a rather rickety looking bus would take them to the next city with a train station where they`d take the train to Cairo.They had bid the Med-Jai and Izzy goodbye,Alex promising to return and Izzy trying to get Rick to promise him not to.Evy would have liked to stay and watch the sillouettes of the departing Med-Jai disappear on the horizon,but there was no way she could tell Rick,Alex and Jonathan that for some reason she feared that at least their leader they wouldn´t see again.
Afterwards,when they`d returned to London,and everything had turned back to normal again,Evy had still found herself thinking of Ardeth Bey occasionally,there was something oddly comforting in the knowledge that he was still somewhere in this world,separated from,but not lost to her.She`d hoped he would soon find somebody he loved who was free to love him back.Although she`d not expected to see him again,the possibility of him dying had never crossed her mind.She`d always been sure he`d marry,have a family and live a long,fulfilled life as the leader of his people.
The thought that he´d never experience the kind of happiness that Rick,Alex and she shared every day,made her eyes tear up again.You`d have deserved so much better,she thought.
Her sad musings were interrupted by Rick briskly entering the room,the determined look in his eyes telling Evy all she needed to know.
"When are we leaving?"she just asked.
"Wednesday morning,"came the curt reply,followed by the muffled thud of Rick flinging himself onto the bed.
Evy nodded,she put down her brush and joined Rick on the bed,snuggling into his embrace.They just wordlessly lay together in the darkness,simply drawing comfort from each other`s presence.
Ardeth Bey`s death had reminded Evy once more how easy it was to take things for granted,to believe that simply loving somebody would somehow protect them from any possible harm and let them be around forever.
"Love you,"she murmured against Rick`s chest.
"Love you too."
END
*Peace be with you