Shampoo: Disclaimers on part one. You not like? It no hard backtrack yes?
Grimm: Shampoo! Let ME do that! You go do . . . something else.
Shampoo: Shampoo go do Ranma! (big smile)
Grimm: Uh . . . yeah, fine, go do Ranma you obsessive cute yet foolish thing. Go.
Ranma: Nnnoooo!
Ranma 1/2
Alligator Omelets with a side of Kasumi
Ryoga woke up on a log the next morning. There was an assortment of burnt sticks around him. Nabiki had gone to sleep in the girls tent, but Ryoga had simply conked out on the floor.
He woke up smelling something wonderful! "Whoa!" He yawned. "Is that breakfast?"
"It sure is." Akane said cheerfully. "One heaping order of Akane Tendo's Special Surprise Omelets on the way!"
"Great!" Ryoga said.
"Why isn't Kasumi cooking?" Ranma asked as he came out of the boy's tent.
"Oh, about that . . . she woke up this morning, started screaming things in gibberish, tore off all her cloths and rolled around in the mud, then ran off into the forest screaming "Weenie!" like a maniac." Akane said evenly.
"Wow . . . that's a first." Ryoga said, trying to envision Kasumi doing such a thing . . . it was a shockingly pleasant image . . . oh yes.
"Your kidding!" Ranma cried. "We have to find her!" He ran into the forest.
"He's right!" Ryoga said, standing up, but Akane shook her head.
"I was only joking." She said. "I woke up extra early so I could cook breakfast."
"Oh . . . oh . . . oh . . . eh . . . okay." Ryoga said, wondering if he should call out to Ranma, but in the end deciding that Ranma would figure it out sooner or later.
"Here Ryoga, you woke up first, have the first one!"
"Wow! Thanks!" Women kept feeding him on this trip, Ryoga decided he'd go camping more often. He ate the omelet before he remembered it was Akane's cooking. He choked it down and forced a smile. "It's great." He said. "Uh . . . Akane, where did you get the eggs?"
"Oh, I found them near a lake, I think their duck eggs, the shells are over there." Akane said.
Ryoga inspected the shells. They felt leathery and resembled . . . "Nah." He said to himself. "Alligators don't live in Japan."
Suddenly, Akane shuddered, and fell to the ground. She got up and laughed sinisterly. "Ryoga!" She cried. "How could you betray me? I shall cut your head off!"
Ryoga dropped the eggshell he was inspecting and his jaw as well.
Akane sighed and shook her head. "I was joking again, don't you remember the story my dad told us las night?" She asked.
Ryoga tried to regain his cool composure. "Of course I do Akane, I was merely playing along."
Suddenly there was a scream and female Ranma, dripping with swamp slime ran into the camp ground screaming "It's after me! I'm gonna die! Don't let it get me! I'm gonna die!"
Ryoga was on his feet and on his guard in an instant, preparing for whatever may come.
"Well Ranma? What is it? What's after you?"
"Ahh!" Ranma whimpered. "It must have eaten Kasumi!"
"It what!" Ryoga cried before he remembered that Kasumi running off had been a joke.
Suddenly the trees near them shook, and a huge alligator appeared. It reared up and roared.
"Whoa!" Ryoga gasped.
"Roaring!" Kuno cried as he came out of the tent. "At my pigtailed girl AND my dear Akane? You will suffer Alligator!" He lunged forward and made a thrust with his wooden sword, but the alligator was a fomridable foe, and with a sweep of it's tail it knocked him asside.
"Yay!" female Ranma cried, "Maybe it'll eat Kuno and be to full to eat me!"
"Eat? Did some one say eat? I better start making breakfast!" Kasumi said, coming out of the tent.
Ranma stared at her for a second, then looked at Akane with a hateful glare. "Ran off screaming "Weenie" huh?" Ranma scoffed.
"Have you all forgotten the gigantic alligator? Akane, how many of those eggs are left?"
"Well there were about fifty, but I only took ten."
"How many do you have?" Ryoga asked again.
"Five left."
"Hand em!" Ryoga cried, Akane threw the eggs at him, he caught four, the fifth one landed on his head.
Ryoga dashed off into the forest, following the tracks Akane had left, surely they would lead to the beast's nest. The alligator followed him, from back at camp he heard Kuno cry "Run foe-beast! Run for you have faced your most powerful foe! None can stand a blow from me!"
Ryoga followed the tracks successfully finding the nest, it was easy because he was running so fast, and the nest was so close he didn't have time to get lost-it was a miracle.
He threw the eggs into the nest, but stumbled and fell into the swamp, emerging as P-Chan.
'Interestingly enough, I don't remember there BEING a swamp.' Ryoga thought.
The gator splashed into the water, and P-Chan swam frantically, but unfortunately the gator was on him in a second.
"Ho there!" A voice said. "Jasper, let him go!"
The gator let Ryoga/P-Chan out of his mouth, and the little piggy swam to the nearest shore bank. He got lost along the way and ended up on the opposite side of the river the camp was on.
"Alright then?" A man asked. Ryoga/P-Chan looked at him, and nodded. The man was dressed in very old clothing of what seemed to be an even older fashion. His hair was tied back in an old-fashioned hair cut with the top of his head shaved completely. "Don't worry little pig, I know how to handle Jasper."
'And what is this Jasper doing here in the first place?' Ryoga wondered.
"I'll get you back to your friends." The man continued.
'You'll what?' Ryoga wondered again. He wished he could talk in pig form.
The man walked across key stones in the swamp, and then straight towards the Tendo camp. "Not to worry," He said to P-Chan. "Jasper is really an old teddy bear she is. There are far more dangerous things in this forest, you'd best leave as soon as possible."
'For the love of all things sacred were not IN a forest!' Ryoga thought.
Nabiki emerged from the girl's tent, and yawned. "What's the plan today?"
"Were packing up." Soun said. "Kasumi was eaten by a crocodile, and Ryoga was carried away by man eating walruses."
"I'm right here father." Kasumi said.
"Ryoga was eaten by the crocodile, and there are no walruses." Ranma said calmly.
"Then what ate my darling child Kasumi!" Soun cried.
"I'm right here father!" Kasumi repeated, a little louder this time.
Nabiki shook her head. "Ryoga was eaten by a crocodile? I knew I shouldn't have slept in, that must have been fun to watch."
"How can you say that!" Akane cried. "Poor poor Ryoga is probably lost in the forest! It's all Ranma's fault too!"
"My fault?" Ranma asked. "You were the one who took the crock's eggs, and you're the one who lied and told me that Kasumi had run off into the forest, even though now that I think about it there IS no forest! It's just a bunch of trees and a swamp!"
"You're serious?" Nabiki asked. "Ryoga really was eaten?" She had minimal concern for Ryoga's safety, but her own was a different story. The fact that there was a man-eating crocodile was rather important information.
"No, not eaten." Ranma said. "He just ran off to distract the croc, and got lost, that's Ryoga for you."
"But there IS a croc?" Nabiki demanded.
"Yep." Ranma sighed.
"Okay, I'm out of here." Nabiki scoffed.
"A wise choice." A man said. "You had all better leave soon, dire consiquences await those who say. Oh, who's piglet is this?" He added, holding up a black piglet.
"Oh P-Chan! What are you doing here?" Akane cried.
"Here you go." The man said, handing Akane the piglet. He gave her an odd look and shook his head. "You look familiar. No matter, I'm afraid I must be quite brief with you. These woods are not safe, you must all leave as soon as you can, there are worse things about than crocodiles and alligators."
"Uh, okay." Akane said.
"He's right you know." Nabiki said. "Now lets scram!"
"What about Ryoga?" Kasumi asked.
"Something tells me, if P-Chan is okay, Ryoga is fine too." Ranma said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Akane asked, P-Chan gave Ranma a deadly look. Nabiki noticed that P-Chan acted as if he could understand the conversation as it went, he'd even nodded when Nabiki had suggested leaving.
"Well if P-Chan can survive, Ryoga can too. We'll probably find him on our doorstep by tomorrow or something."
"I hope your right." Akane said.
"Your friend is in no danger." The man said. He gave P-Chan a strange look. "He's already safe, but you all would be safer if you left now."
"Okay!" Soun cried. "But first we need to find my daughter Kasumi!"
"I'm right HERE father!" Kasumi screamed.
Saizo watched the campers pack up and get ready to leave. "It's not that easy Sakon, I've set my sights on that group, I'll have my fun with them no matter where they go."
To Be Continued . . .
Grimm: Shampoo! Let ME do that! You go do . . . something else.
Shampoo: Shampoo go do Ranma! (big smile)
Grimm: Uh . . . yeah, fine, go do Ranma you obsessive cute yet foolish thing. Go.
Ranma: Nnnoooo!
Ranma 1/2
Alligator Omelets with a side of Kasumi
Ryoga woke up on a log the next morning. There was an assortment of burnt sticks around him. Nabiki had gone to sleep in the girls tent, but Ryoga had simply conked out on the floor.
He woke up smelling something wonderful! "Whoa!" He yawned. "Is that breakfast?"
"It sure is." Akane said cheerfully. "One heaping order of Akane Tendo's Special Surprise Omelets on the way!"
"Great!" Ryoga said.
"Why isn't Kasumi cooking?" Ranma asked as he came out of the boy's tent.
"Oh, about that . . . she woke up this morning, started screaming things in gibberish, tore off all her cloths and rolled around in the mud, then ran off into the forest screaming "Weenie!" like a maniac." Akane said evenly.
"Wow . . . that's a first." Ryoga said, trying to envision Kasumi doing such a thing . . . it was a shockingly pleasant image . . . oh yes.
"Your kidding!" Ranma cried. "We have to find her!" He ran into the forest.
"He's right!" Ryoga said, standing up, but Akane shook her head.
"I was only joking." She said. "I woke up extra early so I could cook breakfast."
"Oh . . . oh . . . oh . . . eh . . . okay." Ryoga said, wondering if he should call out to Ranma, but in the end deciding that Ranma would figure it out sooner or later.
"Here Ryoga, you woke up first, have the first one!"
"Wow! Thanks!" Women kept feeding him on this trip, Ryoga decided he'd go camping more often. He ate the omelet before he remembered it was Akane's cooking. He choked it down and forced a smile. "It's great." He said. "Uh . . . Akane, where did you get the eggs?"
"Oh, I found them near a lake, I think their duck eggs, the shells are over there." Akane said.
Ryoga inspected the shells. They felt leathery and resembled . . . "Nah." He said to himself. "Alligators don't live in Japan."
Suddenly, Akane shuddered, and fell to the ground. She got up and laughed sinisterly. "Ryoga!" She cried. "How could you betray me? I shall cut your head off!"
Ryoga dropped the eggshell he was inspecting and his jaw as well.
Akane sighed and shook her head. "I was joking again, don't you remember the story my dad told us las night?" She asked.
Ryoga tried to regain his cool composure. "Of course I do Akane, I was merely playing along."
Suddenly there was a scream and female Ranma, dripping with swamp slime ran into the camp ground screaming "It's after me! I'm gonna die! Don't let it get me! I'm gonna die!"
Ryoga was on his feet and on his guard in an instant, preparing for whatever may come.
"Well Ranma? What is it? What's after you?"
"Ahh!" Ranma whimpered. "It must have eaten Kasumi!"
"It what!" Ryoga cried before he remembered that Kasumi running off had been a joke.
Suddenly the trees near them shook, and a huge alligator appeared. It reared up and roared.
"Whoa!" Ryoga gasped.
"Roaring!" Kuno cried as he came out of the tent. "At my pigtailed girl AND my dear Akane? You will suffer Alligator!" He lunged forward and made a thrust with his wooden sword, but the alligator was a fomridable foe, and with a sweep of it's tail it knocked him asside.
"Yay!" female Ranma cried, "Maybe it'll eat Kuno and be to full to eat me!"
"Eat? Did some one say eat? I better start making breakfast!" Kasumi said, coming out of the tent.
Ranma stared at her for a second, then looked at Akane with a hateful glare. "Ran off screaming "Weenie" huh?" Ranma scoffed.
"Have you all forgotten the gigantic alligator? Akane, how many of those eggs are left?"
"Well there were about fifty, but I only took ten."
"How many do you have?" Ryoga asked again.
"Five left."
"Hand em!" Ryoga cried, Akane threw the eggs at him, he caught four, the fifth one landed on his head.
Ryoga dashed off into the forest, following the tracks Akane had left, surely they would lead to the beast's nest. The alligator followed him, from back at camp he heard Kuno cry "Run foe-beast! Run for you have faced your most powerful foe! None can stand a blow from me!"
Ryoga followed the tracks successfully finding the nest, it was easy because he was running so fast, and the nest was so close he didn't have time to get lost-it was a miracle.
He threw the eggs into the nest, but stumbled and fell into the swamp, emerging as P-Chan.
'Interestingly enough, I don't remember there BEING a swamp.' Ryoga thought.
The gator splashed into the water, and P-Chan swam frantically, but unfortunately the gator was on him in a second.
"Ho there!" A voice said. "Jasper, let him go!"
The gator let Ryoga/P-Chan out of his mouth, and the little piggy swam to the nearest shore bank. He got lost along the way and ended up on the opposite side of the river the camp was on.
"Alright then?" A man asked. Ryoga/P-Chan looked at him, and nodded. The man was dressed in very old clothing of what seemed to be an even older fashion. His hair was tied back in an old-fashioned hair cut with the top of his head shaved completely. "Don't worry little pig, I know how to handle Jasper."
'And what is this Jasper doing here in the first place?' Ryoga wondered.
"I'll get you back to your friends." The man continued.
'You'll what?' Ryoga wondered again. He wished he could talk in pig form.
The man walked across key stones in the swamp, and then straight towards the Tendo camp. "Not to worry," He said to P-Chan. "Jasper is really an old teddy bear she is. There are far more dangerous things in this forest, you'd best leave as soon as possible."
'For the love of all things sacred were not IN a forest!' Ryoga thought.
Nabiki emerged from the girl's tent, and yawned. "What's the plan today?"
"Were packing up." Soun said. "Kasumi was eaten by a crocodile, and Ryoga was carried away by man eating walruses."
"I'm right here father." Kasumi said.
"Ryoga was eaten by the crocodile, and there are no walruses." Ranma said calmly.
"Then what ate my darling child Kasumi!" Soun cried.
"I'm right here father!" Kasumi repeated, a little louder this time.
Nabiki shook her head. "Ryoga was eaten by a crocodile? I knew I shouldn't have slept in, that must have been fun to watch."
"How can you say that!" Akane cried. "Poor poor Ryoga is probably lost in the forest! It's all Ranma's fault too!"
"My fault?" Ranma asked. "You were the one who took the crock's eggs, and you're the one who lied and told me that Kasumi had run off into the forest, even though now that I think about it there IS no forest! It's just a bunch of trees and a swamp!"
"You're serious?" Nabiki asked. "Ryoga really was eaten?" She had minimal concern for Ryoga's safety, but her own was a different story. The fact that there was a man-eating crocodile was rather important information.
"No, not eaten." Ranma said. "He just ran off to distract the croc, and got lost, that's Ryoga for you."
"But there IS a croc?" Nabiki demanded.
"Yep." Ranma sighed.
"Okay, I'm out of here." Nabiki scoffed.
"A wise choice." A man said. "You had all better leave soon, dire consiquences await those who say. Oh, who's piglet is this?" He added, holding up a black piglet.
"Oh P-Chan! What are you doing here?" Akane cried.
"Here you go." The man said, handing Akane the piglet. He gave her an odd look and shook his head. "You look familiar. No matter, I'm afraid I must be quite brief with you. These woods are not safe, you must all leave as soon as you can, there are worse things about than crocodiles and alligators."
"Uh, okay." Akane said.
"He's right you know." Nabiki said. "Now lets scram!"
"What about Ryoga?" Kasumi asked.
"Something tells me, if P-Chan is okay, Ryoga is fine too." Ranma said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Akane asked, P-Chan gave Ranma a deadly look. Nabiki noticed that P-Chan acted as if he could understand the conversation as it went, he'd even nodded when Nabiki had suggested leaving.
"Well if P-Chan can survive, Ryoga can too. We'll probably find him on our doorstep by tomorrow or something."
"I hope your right." Akane said.
"Your friend is in no danger." The man said. He gave P-Chan a strange look. "He's already safe, but you all would be safer if you left now."
"Okay!" Soun cried. "But first we need to find my daughter Kasumi!"
"I'm right HERE father!" Kasumi screamed.
Saizo watched the campers pack up and get ready to leave. "It's not that easy Sakon, I've set my sights on that group, I'll have my fun with them no matter where they go."
To Be Continued . . .