Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z or Spaceballs, nor am I affiliated
with anyone involved. However, I would like to have a conversation with
Akira Toriyama and Mel Brooks.
By the way, much cursing. Much, much cursing. Perhaps every word considered
offensive to an American. Well, maybe not in this chapter, but I guarentee
that their will be atleast one f-bomb. Ha!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Space Dragon 1" moved ominously across the sky. If one were to be watching it from the outside, they can probably see the bumper-sticker reading "Worry about your own damn family".
Inside, the soldiers were all in position to greet the general with the traditional salute: showing the back of the hand while extending only the middle finger upwards from a fist. He trotted in with his helmeted head held high, sequencing his arms and shoulders with his stride for dramatic effect.
Upon reaching the main screen, he took off his helmet. "Damnit!" Dark Cell shouted, "I don't see why I have to wear this stupid latex outfit! Especially this helmet! I already have a natural one!"
"President Freeza! Salute!" he heard behind him. He twirled around with his (plastic) black cape and greeted his superior. "Hail, Freeza!"
Freeza waltzed in, wearing a grey suit and a fake mustache. "Dark Cell, have all the plans been reviewed and decided."
"Yes, President Freeza."
"How long until we reach Earth?"
"In about 5 hours, sir."
"Excellent. Review to me the strategy."
"We shall steal the prince, sir, when he runs from his wedding, then attempt to make his friends gather the Dragonballs for us so that we can make a wish."
"Brilliant! But how are you so sure that he will run, Dark Cell?"
"He hates the person that he's supposed to marry."
Vegita was running from the chapel as he spoke. His bride, who look more broad chested than buxom, and had a deep voice, was running after him.
"Damnit!" He was screaming, "I knew I shouldn't have let father talk me into an arranged marriage! It figures he'd screw up and try to marry me to a drag queen!"
"Wait, Vegita! I had no idea what was happening, either!" shouted Zarbon, holding up his skirt to keep from tripping over it, "Dark Cell just ordered me to put this on and..."
#18 shoved Zarbon out of her way, running to the side of her master. "Prince Vegita! You can't run out like this!"
"I can and I am!" he said, jumping into a large spherical ship. #18 lept in after him. The door shut in Zarbon's face.
"Ahh! So cruel..." he wined.
The ship blasted off immediately. Inside, #18 was reminding her prince of his responsibilities.
"Even if the princess was really a man," she started, "you really can't just sprint out like that! It's rude for one thing!"
"Rude?! RUDE?! What the hell, you expect me to be nice when I turn to my wife-to-be and find an ugly queer staring back at me!?"
"Really, you shouldn't use language like that. Have you no respect?" she complained, picking up a brush to buff her copper-plated dress. "Whether someone is gay or not, it shouldn't be used as an insult!"
"Whatever," he grunted, twisting the controls. "I'm going to look for a princess myself if need be. Hell, I suppose I can get a wife to shut father up, then a bunch of concubines to play around with."
#18 sighed. "Very well, sir. If that's the only way you'll comply, I suppose I can support you on it."
"You 'suppose'!? You have to support me anyway! I'm your master remem- -" he was interrupted by the ship's shaking. He looked up at the screen to see what was happening. A large beam shot out and crossed over the top of their ship.
"W-what's happening, Prince Vegita?!" she said, holding onto her seat to keep from being shaken off. "Who's attacking us?!"
He shook his head. "I don't know! Their just firing at us for some reason! Are their still space pirates like in the story books?!"
"How should I know!? Do you want me to try to hail them?!"
"Anything! Anything! If it will keep us from getting killed!"
She flipped switches and turned dials. "No good. They're not answering."
"Shit! What the hell do they want from us?!"
No sooner than he said this, a blue beam came from the front of the large battleship and started to slowly draw them in. The closer they got, the easier they could see the name on the vanity plate.
"'SPDRAG 1'?!"
****** How was that? My first AU fanfiction (at least that I've posted). Sorry for the yaoi bashing, it's just too easy! This is perhaps my most haphazard fanfic ever, too. Heh, oh well. I promise that I'll make the next chapter a little longer *assumes readers want another chapter*. Lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Space Dragon 1" moved ominously across the sky. If one were to be watching it from the outside, they can probably see the bumper-sticker reading "Worry about your own damn family".
Inside, the soldiers were all in position to greet the general with the traditional salute: showing the back of the hand while extending only the middle finger upwards from a fist. He trotted in with his helmeted head held high, sequencing his arms and shoulders with his stride for dramatic effect.
Upon reaching the main screen, he took off his helmet. "Damnit!" Dark Cell shouted, "I don't see why I have to wear this stupid latex outfit! Especially this helmet! I already have a natural one!"
"President Freeza! Salute!" he heard behind him. He twirled around with his (plastic) black cape and greeted his superior. "Hail, Freeza!"
Freeza waltzed in, wearing a grey suit and a fake mustache. "Dark Cell, have all the plans been reviewed and decided."
"Yes, President Freeza."
"How long until we reach Earth?"
"In about 5 hours, sir."
"Excellent. Review to me the strategy."
"We shall steal the prince, sir, when he runs from his wedding, then attempt to make his friends gather the Dragonballs for us so that we can make a wish."
"Brilliant! But how are you so sure that he will run, Dark Cell?"
"He hates the person that he's supposed to marry."
Vegita was running from the chapel as he spoke. His bride, who look more broad chested than buxom, and had a deep voice, was running after him.
"Damnit!" He was screaming, "I knew I shouldn't have let father talk me into an arranged marriage! It figures he'd screw up and try to marry me to a drag queen!"
"Wait, Vegita! I had no idea what was happening, either!" shouted Zarbon, holding up his skirt to keep from tripping over it, "Dark Cell just ordered me to put this on and..."
#18 shoved Zarbon out of her way, running to the side of her master. "Prince Vegita! You can't run out like this!"
"I can and I am!" he said, jumping into a large spherical ship. #18 lept in after him. The door shut in Zarbon's face.
"Ahh! So cruel..." he wined.
The ship blasted off immediately. Inside, #18 was reminding her prince of his responsibilities.
"Even if the princess was really a man," she started, "you really can't just sprint out like that! It's rude for one thing!"
"Rude?! RUDE?! What the hell, you expect me to be nice when I turn to my wife-to-be and find an ugly queer staring back at me!?"
"Really, you shouldn't use language like that. Have you no respect?" she complained, picking up a brush to buff her copper-plated dress. "Whether someone is gay or not, it shouldn't be used as an insult!"
"Whatever," he grunted, twisting the controls. "I'm going to look for a princess myself if need be. Hell, I suppose I can get a wife to shut father up, then a bunch of concubines to play around with."
#18 sighed. "Very well, sir. If that's the only way you'll comply, I suppose I can support you on it."
"You 'suppose'!? You have to support me anyway! I'm your master remem- -" he was interrupted by the ship's shaking. He looked up at the screen to see what was happening. A large beam shot out and crossed over the top of their ship.
"W-what's happening, Prince Vegita?!" she said, holding onto her seat to keep from being shaken off. "Who's attacking us?!"
He shook his head. "I don't know! Their just firing at us for some reason! Are their still space pirates like in the story books?!"
"How should I know!? Do you want me to try to hail them?!"
"Anything! Anything! If it will keep us from getting killed!"
She flipped switches and turned dials. "No good. They're not answering."
"Shit! What the hell do they want from us?!"
No sooner than he said this, a blue beam came from the front of the large battleship and started to slowly draw them in. The closer they got, the easier they could see the name on the vanity plate.
"'SPDRAG 1'?!"
****** How was that? My first AU fanfiction (at least that I've posted). Sorry for the yaoi bashing, it's just too easy! This is perhaps my most haphazard fanfic ever, too. Heh, oh well. I promise that I'll make the next chapter a little longer *assumes readers want another chapter*. Lol