A/N: Whoohoo! Good exam results YAAAY! So I'm in a happy mood and ready to write… which is always good – right? This chapter will deal with Hermione and Ron, and other such stuff…

Disclaimer: Moi? Moi? I do not own zis…zis abomination *screams the Author loudly in a weird accent*! Haha, only joking. No wait – I'm not! I don't own this! J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter stuff (and her respective publishers/moviemakers/copyright holders…). And J.R.R Tolkien owns all the Lord of the Ring's stuff – well his publishers/moviemakers/copyright holders do… I make no money from this. Sadly.

**

Hermione watched as the delectable Strider paced back and forth, his eyebrows moving up and down in thought. For a man of his stunning good looks and connections to Gondor, he certainly didn't have the brains Hermione had expected to see.

"If only we could figure out which way the orcs went!"

Strider said angrily. Hermione rolled her eyes and smiled, as she took Strider's hand and pointed to the path covered in retreating orc footprints. That was where Boromir had pointed to after all.

"They went that way."

Strider shook his hand free of Hermione. Oh! The cheek of that man! Well… I suppose I can forgive him this ONCE, thought Hermione as she stared at his lovely rear end. Strider was now shaking Boromir's body vigorously and yelling at it,

"How will we ever know where they went? Oh Boromir! If only you had lived to tell us!"

Hermione sighed and gave Strider a clip around the ear, saying,

"He DID! The orcs went *that* way!"

Hermione once again found herself pointing to the only road out of the clearing and being given dirty looks from the man that she loved. Or lusted after. It was becoming increasingly hard to distinguish between the two terms. But whatever it was she felt – she felt it strongly. Strider stood towered over her and glaring, hissed at her,

"Have you *never* heard of giving-the-strong-sexy-warrior-a-moment-of-drama-in-which-he-will-solve-the-mystery-and-so-be-loved-even-more!?"

Hermione looked up into Striders eyes and oooooed aloud. This is such a nice situation! He's so powerful and masculine… I think he wants me. Yeah, he definitely wants me. Look at that smouldering look he's giving me! Hermione stared at Strider for a couple of minutes, until he ARGH-ed very loudly in frustration and said,

"Look! Gimmie a break and let me be the hero I'm meant to be!"

Strider walked off in an upset huff at Hermione's know-it-all-ness. From behind her Hermione heard Gimli shout suddenly,

"My first line in the fic! Listen to me! I found Tolkiens! TOLKIENS! Tolkiens our young hobbit friends were given by the Lady Galadriel!"

Gimli held up a couple of sparkling items. Ron's face crumpled up in slight confusion,

"Don't you mean tokens?"

"That's what I said. Tolkiens."

Ron shrugged and ignored the Dwarf and the Authors very lame joke. Strider grabbed the broaches from Gimli's hand and exclaimed,

"AHA! This must be a clue! The orcs must have gone this way and the hobbits dropped their broaches for us to find!"

Strider pointed heroically (as that was his job) down the orc-footprint covered road that Hermione had been signalling to for the last few minutes. She sighed,

"I already *told* you they went that way!"

Strider ignored Hermione and ran ahead with Gimli. Ron came up behind Hermione and took her hand. Smiling in the sweetest, most romantic and fluff-filled way that he could possibly smile, he said softly,

"I believed you when you said they went *that* way…"

Ron grinned inside his mind. That line was a good line. It had to be, for he'd spent the last three minutes making it up. Hermione let out an exasperated sigh and threw Ron away from her. Narrowing her eyes she said in an annoyed manner,

"You were THERE when Boromir told me they'd gone that way Ron, of course you had to believe me! And you could've at least stood up for me in front of Strider about it!"

With a flick of her hair, Hermione turned on her heels and walked over to a happily waiting Legolas. Ron went bright red and watched as Hermione hugged Legolas.

"Oh! OHHHH!" shouted Ron in the general direction of Hermione, "And I suppose Legolas there *did* stand up for you, did he? EY?!"

Hermione keep walking.

"HAH! You know I could braid my hair like that too, if I wanted to!" Ron shook his fists angrily and his brain tried in desperation to scream to his facial muscles to tell them to stop working, so Ron would shut up. Pausing to think about what he had just said, Ron quickly added,

"Which for the record – I don't! Braids are for girls! And I'm a man! A M-A-N!"

Ron breathed for the first time in over two minutes. And realised that he was standing alone in the clearing with only a bemused looking squirrel listening to what he had to say. And what he was saying wasn't a lot, and wasn't very intelligible.

**

Dumbledore had wrestled The Book off Harry with considerable difficulty. This was understandable seeing as Harry was a crazed, rabid, insane 16 year old who played sports and Dumbledore was technically an old man with arthritis. The fact that Dumbledore was a powerful wizard was neither here nor there. Anyway, Dumbledore had finally got The Book back, and Harry was now glaring at Dumbledore, eyes twitching madly,

"It's mine! My book! It's… it's PRECIOUS to me!"

Dumbledore took a step back from Harry and nodded slightly,

"Um, Harry, it's not your book. It belongs to the school library…"

"My precious! It's mine! MINE!"

Harry made a grab for The Book, but Dumbledore jumped safely out of the way in time.

"Precious? It's a scruffy old book, Harry. There's nothing precious about it. Oh well… I suppose if you count the fact that the three lives currently trapped in The Book are precious (to someone somewhere) The Book itself *could* be called precious. But it's still just a book."

Dumbledore smiled, not really knowing why he just said what he said or if what he just said made any real sense. Harry scowled then ran to the door, but before leaving he turned and shouted,

"I've made a new friend! I'll have revenge! REVENGE! You'll all be sorry! Thieves! All thieves! Stealing my fame! Stealing my precioussss!"

Harry seemingly swatted away a fly from his face, and then sneaked out the office door. Dumbledore went to the door, peered out and called after the running Harry,

"Go see Madam Pomfrey! She can do wonders for that lisp you've picked up!"

Dumbledore opened The Book as he sat down and giggled over Harry. What a silly little attention seeker, thought Dumbledore, oh well, I'm sure he'll get used to being a nobody soon enough. He's going to have to.

**

A/N: The next chapter will be longer, I promise. And up quicker than this one was. My apologies for the lateness of this update, but I've been *really* busy the last couple of days! Anywayz, if any of you have any little ideas etc for either Middle-Earth (esp. Hermione/Ron) or back at Hogwarts let me know, my email is oogieboogiesboys@hotmail.com.

Mandy Snape – Thanks for the excellent review! ^_^ Aww, thank you! Ooooo, LOTR's in HP world? That would be a task, lol.

Zardiphillian Beryllix – Ooooo fav's list? Thanks teehee!!!!

Sasery – I love Nameless Orc number two too!

Dpocvyper – Hehe, this has me up late writing it when I have work in the morning!

Jencraw – I know, a lot of Gods aren't there? Hehehe. YES! Hobbits *ARE* the little green aliens dudes from Toy Story! YAAAAY! ^_^!

Silver*Chime – Oh gosh, il y a beacoup de Thank you's there! I will try to write you in ASAP… but I dunno if I can get that far by Friday! So you may have to wait a bit if you iz going on holiday…*sniffle* sorry :(!

Clare – Snape will have his wand back in the next chapter! He'll need it when he gets to Isengard…*dramatic chords of music play*

Bpiksi77 – Don't die! I like reviewers! Lol! Especially the nice ones ^_^!

The Author would like to give all reviewers a big hug and a smile and a thank you, and promises that next chapter will be longer, funnier and up faster!