Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either. Isn't that sad?

"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop

Chapter 3: Enter Thomas! The strongest man in the world wreaks havoc!

Notice: If you see *SHOWDOWN* then two or more characters will get into a martial arts battle, but it will be a humorous one I promise! It will end if you see *SHOWDOWN ENDS*.

The real EA: Yes!!!!! Thomas and I are gonna be in the fic! OOOhhh Yeahh!!!

The real Me: Uhh huhh..

The real Thomas: Hey! I thought of this cool idea that-

The real Me: On with chapter 3!

The real Thomas: Noooo!!! Not again!!!

When we last left me, I was still living with Shampoo and Mousse awaiting the arrival of my friends. One night, I decided to leave the Nekohaten coz' this was not getting me any closer to my friends. I felt really sorry for them especially Mousse whom I left the big pile of dishes that I did not wash on that particular day. Well, if I had to find a way back. well can I find a way back?

Shampoo: *yawn* Good morning!

Mousse: Yeeeeehaaa!!! Good riddance you inconsiderate fool!

Shampoo: Huh? Trevor gone? I know he come back. He never survive out in streets.

Mousse: Foooool!!! Haha!!! This place is all mine!! Mine!!! *cackle*

Shampoo: o_O

Mousse: Shampoo! I command you to clean the dishes the fool left!!

Shampoo: What? He no do his part? Ohhh. Me swear we get him! And I will KILL him!! Hahahahaha!!! *cackle*

Mousse: Now!! The dishes!!

Shampoo: Finding someone else, lazyass.

The real EA: Hey! Everyone here is so OOC, including us!!

The real Me: Shut the fuck up!! Or else I will make you die in this story!!

The real EA: Oh please don't.

The real Me: Smooth one, Trevor! I so rule!

(Someplace, that evening.)

Me: Why did I leave? I can never survive out here in the streets!

I went to a dark corner and got a very worn out blanket and wrapped myself in it. I look pathetic. I mean, I am in the middle class and I am here freezing out here in the cold. If only I can find the Tendo Dojo. Then when I was about to fall asleep, a figure suddenly came from the distance.

???: You there, wanderer.

Me: Huh?

???: Am I in Nerima?

Me: Yes.

???: You see I got lost.

Me: Ryoga?

Ryoga: How do you know me, stranger?

Me: Long story. Are you looking for Akane again?

Ryoga: Huh? Ranma! Why you dirty little fool! Show yourself! Take that blanket off!!

Me: Wait I'm not Ranma!

Ryoga: *examines my face* Oh. But do you know him, stranger?

Me: Know him? Know HIM???? Ha ha ha!!!!!! I mean. yes, I do.

Ryoga: If you can help me get to the Tendo Dojo, I'll lend you my second sleeping bag.

Me: Ok. Oh, and my name is Trevor.

Ryoga: I never knew anyone by that name. How did you get to know me?

Me: Heck! I know more than the color of the clothes you wear!

Ryoga: No way. do you know the-

Me: Yes! You are P-Chan.

Ryoga: Noooo!!!! Publicity has finally found out!

Me: Not only that, every otaku in the world knows you and your little secret.

Ryoga: Ok, Trevor, you are freaking me out!!! I don't think I can trust you.

Me: Trust me! I know everything!

Ryoga: Well, I am gonna keep a close eye on you, buddy. Good night!

Me: Riiiiighhht. of course you will. Heh heh. ZzzzzZzzzZzzZZZzZz.

(That morning.)

Me: Ryoga.

Me: Ryoga!

Me: Wake up, bitch!!! Its fuckin noon!!!

Ryoga: Huh? What?

Me: Lets get going.

Ryoga: This is going to be a long journey. We should save our rations if we have to keep both of us alive.

So we started on our little "trek" across Nerima looking desperately for the Tendo Dojo when suddenly.

???: You there! Don't move!!

Me: Who's there?

???: It is I. The most powerful person in the world!

Me: Ryoga! He's there hiding on top of that tree!!

???: *slips* Shit!!

???: *hits every branch on the way down* Ow! Ow! OOOWW!! Ay sarap!!!

???: *!!!THUD!!* Ooof.. Thank you very much I'll be here all week.

Me: No way! Its you!

???: Hey! Its Trevor!!!

Me: Thomas!! I finally found you! Where were you?

Thomas: Up on this tree feasting on the birds and the bees.

Me: Ewww.

Ryoga: Who is this fellow?

Me: This is my friend, Thomas.

Me: Thomas, since you don't watch the anime, I'll introduce you to him.

Me: This is Ryoga. He's Ranma's greatest rival and he's the guy who turns into a pig.

Ryoga: How did you know about my identity and my curse? How???

Me: Shut the fuck up! I said I'll explain later!

Ryoga: I swear you both are demons from hell.

Thomas: Hey! You have no right to day that!

Me: Huh?

Thomas: Do you not know where we are??

Ryoga: Hey Turbo, what is your weird friend saying?

Me: No idea. And its Trevor!! Not Turbo!!

Ryoga: Right. Turbo.

Thomas: Shhhh!!!! We are in the serenity of.

Ryoga: o_O

Thomas: The HOBBY SHOP!!!

Me: Thomas? Is it just me or do we seem more stupid than when we left home?

Ryoga: You guys are weird. You belong with Ranma. You will fit right in!

Me: We aren't aquatransexuals like him but we aren't aquatranspecies like the rest!

Ryoga: Ohhh. I am gonna get you for this!!!

*SHOWDOWN*

*Insert exciting battle music here*

Ryoga: Breaking Point!!!!

Me: I doesn't work on humans, remember?

Ryoga: Shit. Why do I even bother? *punch*

Me: Well, until now I still don't feel pain!

Ryoga: *two punches*

Me: Useless! *punch*

Ryoga: Useless! You may be invincible but you are not strong!

Me: Shit!!!

Ryoga: Let me ask you. tease me!!!!

Me: OH Nooo. That aint gonna work! I know your style!

Ryoga: You are making me angry. And sad too!!

Me: Noooo!!!! *ducks*

Ryoga: Tiger roar blast!!!

*Booooooooooooomm!!!*

Me: *gets blown away* AAAAAAAA!!!!

Thomas: Trevor!!!! Grrr!!! You bastard!!

Ryoga: Ha ha ha!!!

Thomas: I challenge you!

Ryoga: Now I know you both are invincible!

Ryoga: I know you're weakness! You both have weak power and you are so light that I can just blow you away, even though you're still alive!!!

Thomas: Yaaaaaa *punch*

The punch actually hits Ryoga and sends him flying in the air.

Ryoga: Noooo!!!!! How???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Thomas: Wow! I never knew I could do that!

*SHOWDOWN ENDS*

Shampoo happens to be riding by the same street Thomas was in and Thomas wanted to dare himself something.

Thomas: Well, if Trevor's indestructible, maybe I am! Heck, I have super strength too!! Take a whiff, woman!!

Shampoo: WATCHING OUT, MISTER!!

*CRASH*

Shampoo: Ogg.. Idiot!!! Why you in middle of road!

Thomas: *in extreme pain* Ow.. pain.. spine.. broken.. extreme.. pain!!

Shampoo: Mister very stupid *punch*!

Thomas: OWWW!! I am suffering enough pain already!

Shampoo: Being careful next time, sir. BYE!!

Thomas: Wait!!! Cant you at least, tell me your name? I don't watch Ranma! Or.. could you bring me to the hospital? My spine is in pieces and my hipbone is crushed!

The real EA: Wait! What happened to you?

The real Me: Don't worry. I am invincible you know?

The real Thomas: What about me?

The real Me: You have super strength.

The real Thomas: Oohhh yeah!! *punch*

The real Me: This is real life, dumbass.

The real Thomas: Dick!!

(LATER.)

Thomas: Ow.. I cant move. Darn that woman!

Car: *beep* *beep*

Thomas: Shit!! Oh why? Why? WHY????

Car: BEEEEEEEPPPP!!!

Thomas: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The real Thomas: Whoah!! I don't wanna die!!

The real Me: Don't worry! The chapter is over!

The real EA: Hey! Here's a sneak peak for our audience!

_______________________________________________

Me: Hello!! Anyone there?

???: WHAT??? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??

Me: We're friends. We come in peace.

???: PERVERTS! PERVERTS EVERYWHERE!!!

Me: Shut up, woman. We know about your little "secret".

???: What secret?

Me: You happen to like someone named Ra-

???: WHAT?? NONSENSE!!!

???: GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!

*SLAM*

Thomas: Nice going, smartass. Where are gonna stay now??

???: Guys! I cant believe I finally saw you!

Thomas & Me: Whoah! Its. its. ___________________________________________________

The real Me: Yahh hah!! What is gonna happen to us?

The real EA: STAY CONNECTED!!!

The real Thomas: Until then, ja!