A/N: Erm, so sorry about lateness of update all my faithful reviewing persons of loveliness! I started sixth form a couple days ago, and I'm all eek-some and things, so I haven't had the time to write! I should have the next chappy up before the end of this weekend, and that'll hopefully tide you over for a few days lol ^_^
Disclaimer: Please refer to previous chapters…No? Fine *rolls eyes*! Harry Potter stuff = J.K.Rowling's + her respective publishers/moviemakers/copyright holders. Lord of the Rings stuff = J.R.R. Tolkien's + his respective publishers/moviemakers/copyright holders.
**
Hermione pointed through the trees.
"Did anyone else see that? I think I just saw a flash of white."
Strider squinted beside Hermione and shrugged,
"I didn't see anything."
Hermione sighed, grabbed Legolas and dragged him over to her. He can use his damn Elf senses and back me up, thought Hermione. Legolas smiled,
"Using my amazing heightened Elf senses…" Legolas began. Hermione rolled her eyes as he continued,
"I can see a figure in white. On a horse. Quite a nice looking horse."
Ron thought for a moment. White? Now why did that sound bad? Where had he heard about a figure in white that rode around on a horse before? He was sure it was here in Middle-Earth that he'd heard about it… Hermione nudged him as the figure approached.
"Ron!"
"What?" Ron said slightly annoyed. He was still trying to figure out this puzzle on his own. White…white…white… The rider in white drew up beside the five.
After several minutes of confused word throwing and blaming and cursing and lots of other things that occur in comic misunderstandings, Gandalf began to explain that he was now Gandalf the White. Saruman, he told them, had jacked himself up to Saruman of many colours and now took a fancy to wearing a multicoloured coat. Which, in conclusion, meant he had gone mad. Gandalf also explained that he had fallen lots and lots, his fall being broken by landing on the body of the (dead) Balrog. Which Gandalf had found very disorientating, seeing as he had assumed that the Balrog would still be alive. At this point in Gandalf's tale, Hermione butted in, and said dismissively,
"Oh yes, Snape killed the Balrog."
Gandalf blinked. He blinked again.
"Snape? That…that cretin of a man KILLED the Balrog?"
"Yes."
Gandalf growled angrily,
"Speaking of Snape…"
The five looked at him expectantly. Gandalf then began explaining, using lots of colourful words innocent children should never be exposed to, what had really happened in Moria. He told them about Snape bruising his fingers and forcing him to let go of the ledge he was holding onto – in essence, Snape would have been done for attempted murder in any decent law courts. But seeing as Middle-Earth lacked these, Snape was now walking around freely, happily believing Gandalf was dead and gone. Gandalf concluded his enthralling tales with the line,
"In summary, I'm alive, I'm angry and I'm back."
Oh, and then he added one last line,
"And Snape is a total dickhead."
**
Fred and George grabbed each other roughly and hugged. Professor McGonagall looked down at The Book and let her lips form the shape of a dog's ass-hole. Fred and George laughed loudly and hysterically,
"Bwahahahahaaaa! Gandalf is alive! Gandalf is alive!"
Professor McGonagall's eyes narrowed,
"I believe I bet that Snape would lose his mind. Which he did, boys, when he began to crave the ring in Moria."
"Ah, YES, right you are Professor," George grinned, "But that bet also stated that Snape would then go on a killing spree."
Fred nodded vigorously,
"Yes, and we accepted that the murder of Gandalf and the several orcs he shot on the way out of Moria *could* be considered a killing spree…"
"…But, seeing as the orcs were rather insignificant and everybody else was killing them anyway," George looked to Fred, who continued,
"And now, of course, in light of this new astounding,"
"…And life-saving…" George added.
"Yes, and quite frankly LIFE-SAVING evidence of Gandalf's alive-and-breathing-ness,"
"We declare…"
"Your bet…"
"Lost."
Professor McGonagall glared at the twins, who were now jumping around excitedly exclaiming that they didn't have to pay anybody's sorry asses, and were now, therefore, not in anybody's debt.
**
Hermione shook her head in disbelief; Snape couldn't have tried to murder Gandalf! I mean she knew he was always perceived as a bad guy, but he would never…would he? Did he? If he did she would have to give him a very big piece of her mind when she next saw him. If he hadn't gotten on the nerves of whomever he had come across with Merry and Pippin and been torn apart by them in frustration at his snide remarks first.
But as Hermione thought about Gandalf's claim of being murdered (yet surviving) in more detail, she remembered the crazed look in Snape's eye when she had told him that his wand worked. It all began to make a little bit of sense in her mind. Snape held to a grudge tighter than anything else, and Hermione figured that Snape would have gathered a pretty hefty grudge from living as a cute little bunny rabbit as often as he did.
Ron, who had been in awe of Gandalf for the last few minutes, dragged Hermione out of her thoughts suddenly.
"WOW! Gandalf, you are so cool! I wish I was as powerful as you!"
Ron said eagerly, as Gandalf shrugged off the comments modestly. Hermione give Ron a quick cuff around the ear. Ron turned to her,
"Ow! What did you go and do that for?"
"I did it because you're being such a sad brown-noser!"
Ron glared at Hermione, who glared back. I suppose I needn't tell you that the vibes in the air at this moment in time were negative, to say the least. There was also a hint of violence looming above the two of them. Ron took a step closer to Hermione. Everyone but Hermione took five steps back from Ron.
"Just where do you get off talking down to me like that all the time? Why do you always treat me like I'm some sort of fool?"
Hermione sighed,
"Ron, we don't have time for all this. Stop acting so childish, fights are for schoolchildren."
"Oh! And you're Miss Mature, are you?"
"I'm unimpressed with your, what do you call them? Oh yes, insults. Guess I forgot what they were called momentarily seeing as I haven't heard any in a long time." Hermione smiled sweetly, secretly laughing at Ron inside her head. He was such a joker.
Ron, on the other hand, was not laughing inside his head.
"Taking up Snape's position are we? Hiding behind sarcasm to cover up insecurities?"
"Ron," Hermione was now feeling extremely bored of this little game, and was getting extremely tired of the worn-out dialogue, "What is your problem?"
"You!" Ron shouted suddenly, letting his hands fling themselves around above his head, "YOU! You and this…this depraved case of sluttiness that has taken over your brain!"
"Are you calling me a *SLUT*?" Hermione screeched.
"YES! YES I AM! And in a perfect world you being slutty would be good! But it's not good! You just go around throwing yourself at everyone in sight!"
"That is not true! That's slander Ron Weasley!"
"It is true! You've been ricocheting between Strider and Legolas for the last couple of weeks like a… a…" Ron thought for a moment and then said, rather dumbly, but with quite a good visual imagery of what Hermione was doing,
"…Like a squash ball flying around a squash court violently hitting off the walls! And you know what? I'M THE SQUASH RACQUET! And the ball never hits the racquet! And the ball should hit the racquet! Because all the ball needs is the racquet!"
Hermione blinked,
"Um."
Ron fell to his knees. Hermione shuffled her feet uncomfortably,
"So, what is it that you're trying to tell me?"
"I'm trying to tell you that I like you!"
"You like me? Well I should bloody well like to think that you like me, especially if you're meant to be one of my best…" Hermione's face paled suddenly as she watched a squash ball flying around inside her head. Ball…racquet…Ball…racquet. Hermione bit her lip and said,
"Ohhh."
**
A/N: An update on Snape shall be up in the next few days all you (fellow) Snape-luvers!
Zardiphillian Beryllix – Thanks, I like the Harry/Gollum thing as well ^_^
Clare – Hope u had fun at the festival! Thanks!
Snuffles – Updated ^_^ Thanks for reviewing!
Mandy Snape – Thank you so much! Aren't you kind? *blushes*
Jaws – Yes, they do have rather long names don't they? Lol, what can I say? I'm strange ^_^ OOC – means out of character, I think (from what I picked up – am I right anyone???), and I'm trying to not make Snape that, i.e. I'm hoping he comes across as in character ^_^
Sasery – Sirius' name? Well, *thinks* do you know, I hadn't even thought about that? *shame*
Pink Devil – Ooooo! Goody! A poem! Thank you, I liked that ^_^! Feel free to write more!
Elwen Rhiannon – Yuppers, Sirius will be having his moments! I promise!
Thank you sooo much for letting me hit 100 reviews!