Disclaimer: It's in chapter one. Chapter ONE. Not chapter 7, or chapter 3,
or chapter n^4! Chapter 1.
To the confused lot, "Kushami" (Japanese for sneeze) was the name given to "Psycho Blonde Lunch" in the manga and in the Japanese version (well, I only saw it in the manga, I never saw Japanese DB, only DBZ and GT). This is still running as the favorite fanfic of mine with... 7 reviews. Man, and people complain about having only 10? *sigh*. Well, maybe my InuYasha one that I'm working on will overpass it.
SpaceBall Z Fanfic: *gulp* "My Strength is Your Wish" already has 4 and it's barely a day old?!
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"So--" began Kame-Sennin, walking down the walk in front of his house, "You're the man-key that Gohan was always telling me about? Goku, was it?"
Goku nodded with his usual goofy smile. "Yup."
"How is your Grandpa doin' now-a-days?"
His happy expression faded, and he bowed his head. "He's dead now."
"Oh! I'm sorry to hear that... Never thought he would go before me." He turned to the sands. "Well, do you feel that you still need training in Martial Arts?"
"I always want to get better."
Roshi nodded. "Very well. But I can tell that in basic martial arts training, I have nothing to teach you. However, there is a technique that could come as a use to you."
He tilted his head. "Is it that Vow-yar technique that Vegita was talking about?"
"No, no, no! That technique has no use for a pure-hearted guy like you."
"Then what is it?"
"It's----THE SHLONG!"
"The Shlong?"
"Yes! It's like ShenLong, except shorter. Here. I'll show you." Kame- Sennin revealed a crimson staff, then he pointed it towards the sky, making it dark with clouds.
"Ahh! Sugoi!" Goku exclaimed.
Then Roshi pointed it towards a large rock by his house, it lifted up high, then fell down again like a feather. "This is called Nyoi-bo," he said, referring to the stick. He passed it to Goku. "Here, you try."
Goku pointed Nyoi-bo at the rock, then started concentrating. "Ki-ki- ki-ki-ki---!"
Bulma came out and looked at Goku's straining for a bit, then walked over to Muten Roshi. "Hey, while he's making an idiot of himself, could you answer something for me?"
He turned to her. "Sure. What is it, child?"
She took off the pendant from around her neck, then showed it to him. "Do you have any idea what this is? I've shown it to every wise man that I've met since it was given to me, and they couldn't tell me what it was."
He analyzed it closely, his sunglasses flashing (why do they do that?). "Hmmm... yes I see..."
"Do you know what it is?!"
He nodded.
She squealed with delight. "Tell me!"
"I shall... after you do something for me."
"Huh? What?"
He turned to her, then grinned widely. "How 'bout you let me see your underwear?"
SLAP!
His glasses were broken now, showing his right eye, tearing with pain. "OK, never mind! I'll just tell you." He threw away the ruined pair of shades and pulled out another, placing them over his eyes. "Yes, well... this chip here is from the future."
"The future?"
"Yes. It's function is to keep the timeline from fraying."
"Wow..."
"Who gave this to you?"
"A lavender-haired, teenaged boy," she said, "He gave each member of my family one. He wouldn't tell us his name."
The old hermit nodded again. "I see. He must not have been born yet, and he didn't want to endanger it."
"Really? That's creepy."
Goku screamed out in joy. "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" The large rock was now floating several feet above the ground. But suddenly, the princes screaming at his maid disturbed his concentration, and the rock fell down with a great crash. A weird shriek came from under it.
Bulma screamed. "Something's under there!"
Roshi grabbed the staff and started chanting. The rock lifted again, and a very wounded tourtoise crawled out from under it.
"Woops," Goku said, "Sorry!" he ran to help the turtle.
President Freeza was back in his own office, looking at some yaoi doujinshi whilst sniffing from a can of air, when the wall screen blinked on. "President Freeza!"
"Ah!!" He hid the items quickly. "Yes! Yes, what is it, Lieutenant Doubler?"
The devil-faced man on the wall saluted. "Lord Cell has made a positive identification on the prince's whereabouts. Do you wish to see the report?"
"Yes. I'll come right down."
"Do you want me to have Jeice beam you down, sir?"
Freeza tilted his head. "I'm not sure. Is that thing safe?"
"Of course sir. Jeice beamed me down twice last night." There was some chuckling in the background.
"Very well." He walked over to the small, circular platform, and a vail of energy appeared around him.
He found himself in the control room. However he felt very odd. It was like he was standing on his hands but everything was right-side-up.
"Jesus! What's wrong with his head?!" A random officer exclaimed.
Doubler looked at him strangely. "It's on the wrong end!"
"What?! This isn't supposed to happen to me! It happens to Kid Buu!"
Jeice turned from his control panel, spouting in his faux-Australian accent. "Don't worry, sir. I'll fix you up."
Freeza tried to look around, but found that his movements were restricted heavily by an appendage. He stared at it. "Why didn't anybody tell me my tail was so big?!"
There was an awkward silence. I wouldn't answer that question, either.
Again, the president was surrounded by the curtain, and he was once again in his office, this time his head on the right end.
"I'm sorry, sir," said Doubler on the screen, "I'll have Jeice try again."
"Forget it! No more beaming! I'm walking from now on! At least until they finish building my floating throne."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Doubler" is Dadobura, or Dabora. Depends on what version you're used to.
To the confused lot, "Kushami" (Japanese for sneeze) was the name given to "Psycho Blonde Lunch" in the manga and in the Japanese version (well, I only saw it in the manga, I never saw Japanese DB, only DBZ and GT). This is still running as the favorite fanfic of mine with... 7 reviews. Man, and people complain about having only 10? *sigh*. Well, maybe my InuYasha one that I'm working on will overpass it.
SpaceBall Z Fanfic: *gulp* "My Strength is Your Wish" already has 4 and it's barely a day old?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So--" began Kame-Sennin, walking down the walk in front of his house, "You're the man-key that Gohan was always telling me about? Goku, was it?"
Goku nodded with his usual goofy smile. "Yup."
"How is your Grandpa doin' now-a-days?"
His happy expression faded, and he bowed his head. "He's dead now."
"Oh! I'm sorry to hear that... Never thought he would go before me." He turned to the sands. "Well, do you feel that you still need training in Martial Arts?"
"I always want to get better."
Roshi nodded. "Very well. But I can tell that in basic martial arts training, I have nothing to teach you. However, there is a technique that could come as a use to you."
He tilted his head. "Is it that Vow-yar technique that Vegita was talking about?"
"No, no, no! That technique has no use for a pure-hearted guy like you."
"Then what is it?"
"It's----THE SHLONG!"
"The Shlong?"
"Yes! It's like ShenLong, except shorter. Here. I'll show you." Kame- Sennin revealed a crimson staff, then he pointed it towards the sky, making it dark with clouds.
"Ahh! Sugoi!" Goku exclaimed.
Then Roshi pointed it towards a large rock by his house, it lifted up high, then fell down again like a feather. "This is called Nyoi-bo," he said, referring to the stick. He passed it to Goku. "Here, you try."
Goku pointed Nyoi-bo at the rock, then started concentrating. "Ki-ki- ki-ki-ki---!"
Bulma came out and looked at Goku's straining for a bit, then walked over to Muten Roshi. "Hey, while he's making an idiot of himself, could you answer something for me?"
He turned to her. "Sure. What is it, child?"
She took off the pendant from around her neck, then showed it to him. "Do you have any idea what this is? I've shown it to every wise man that I've met since it was given to me, and they couldn't tell me what it was."
He analyzed it closely, his sunglasses flashing (why do they do that?). "Hmmm... yes I see..."
"Do you know what it is?!"
He nodded.
She squealed with delight. "Tell me!"
"I shall... after you do something for me."
"Huh? What?"
He turned to her, then grinned widely. "How 'bout you let me see your underwear?"
SLAP!
His glasses were broken now, showing his right eye, tearing with pain. "OK, never mind! I'll just tell you." He threw away the ruined pair of shades and pulled out another, placing them over his eyes. "Yes, well... this chip here is from the future."
"The future?"
"Yes. It's function is to keep the timeline from fraying."
"Wow..."
"Who gave this to you?"
"A lavender-haired, teenaged boy," she said, "He gave each member of my family one. He wouldn't tell us his name."
The old hermit nodded again. "I see. He must not have been born yet, and he didn't want to endanger it."
"Really? That's creepy."
Goku screamed out in joy. "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" The large rock was now floating several feet above the ground. But suddenly, the princes screaming at his maid disturbed his concentration, and the rock fell down with a great crash. A weird shriek came from under it.
Bulma screamed. "Something's under there!"
Roshi grabbed the staff and started chanting. The rock lifted again, and a very wounded tourtoise crawled out from under it.
"Woops," Goku said, "Sorry!" he ran to help the turtle.
President Freeza was back in his own office, looking at some yaoi doujinshi whilst sniffing from a can of air, when the wall screen blinked on. "President Freeza!"
"Ah!!" He hid the items quickly. "Yes! Yes, what is it, Lieutenant Doubler?"
The devil-faced man on the wall saluted. "Lord Cell has made a positive identification on the prince's whereabouts. Do you wish to see the report?"
"Yes. I'll come right down."
"Do you want me to have Jeice beam you down, sir?"
Freeza tilted his head. "I'm not sure. Is that thing safe?"
"Of course sir. Jeice beamed me down twice last night." There was some chuckling in the background.
"Very well." He walked over to the small, circular platform, and a vail of energy appeared around him.
He found himself in the control room. However he felt very odd. It was like he was standing on his hands but everything was right-side-up.
"Jesus! What's wrong with his head?!" A random officer exclaimed.
Doubler looked at him strangely. "It's on the wrong end!"
"What?! This isn't supposed to happen to me! It happens to Kid Buu!"
Jeice turned from his control panel, spouting in his faux-Australian accent. "Don't worry, sir. I'll fix you up."
Freeza tried to look around, but found that his movements were restricted heavily by an appendage. He stared at it. "Why didn't anybody tell me my tail was so big?!"
There was an awkward silence. I wouldn't answer that question, either.
Again, the president was surrounded by the curtain, and he was once again in his office, this time his head on the right end.
"I'm sorry, sir," said Doubler on the screen, "I'll have Jeice try again."
"Forget it! No more beaming! I'm walking from now on! At least until they finish building my floating throne."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Doubler" is Dadobura, or Dabora. Depends on what version you're used to.