A/N: New a note at the bottom. Also as a sign, since you people seem to
need it, Ron is not in love with Hermione and Hermione is not in love with
Ron. And the ending is a happy one. Thank you for reading.
~No Longer You~
Ron was looking up at the house. He could vaguely recognize it, but the color was different. It used to be a dark blue, but it was re painted. The house was now a bright yellow, with green window frames and a green door. There was a low fence around the house too, also green. A little path went up from the gate to the steps that led up to the door. He noticed that they where still dark from the rain.
The clouds were still blocking the sun, and a cold wind was blowing through the leaves in a big tree standing next to the path. Underneath the window grew a climbing rose bush. It wasn't in bloom yet, but Ron knew that the flowers would turn a beautiful deep red, that had a wonderful sent. The post box was also painted green, whit their name on it.
He walked slowly over and opened the gate. He noticed that it didn't make a sound, like it had. Someone had gotten around to oiling it. It was the same house, but it seemed so different. The window up in the second floor opened, and he could see the wind playing with the curtains. He even more slowly walked up the steps and stopped completely in front of the door. There he took a few deep breaths, a feeble attempt to slow down his heart. It was beating painfully hard against his chest. He lifted his hand to ring the doorbell, but it stopped in mid air. From the inside came laughter. He heard her clear crystal laugher, and a second one. A deep baritone one. And then the laughter suddenly stopped, for only to start again a few seconds later. It didn't take much imagination to figure out what had stopped the laughter.
Ron took an other deep breath, and rang the doorbell. It didn't take a long time before he heard footsteps, and the door opened. And there she was standing. Her hair was shorter now, more curly than frizzy. Her ears had tiny sliver earrings in them and he could see the slightest trace of makeup. She was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of loses green pants. There was a pair of glasses stuck up in her hair. All in all she looked much more grown up than he remembered. She seemed so different than the Hermione he remembered. Like she was some one completely different.
"Uhm." He started. Suddenly all the things he had though of saying was gone. "Hi Hermione."
She finally seemed to gather he wits, because she closed her mouth, and her eyes went back to their normal size. They no longer looked shocked, more sad and questioning.
"I probably should have sent an owl first, but..." he stopped and looked down, feeling his ears going red. "I was afraid you would just throw it away." He looked up again, "I thought we could talk or something. If you wanted to."
~
I would like to visit you for a while
Get away and out of this city
Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break
We can go sit on your back porch
Relax
Talk about anything
It don't matter
I'll be courageous if you can pretend you've forgiven me
~
Still without saying anything, she moved away from the doorway, leaving room to letting him in. He walked in and after taking his shoes of, looked around. Some of the pictures hanging on the wall he recognized. But still they looked different, hanging there with pictures he had never seen before.
"Hermione, who was at the door?" he appeared from the doorway, and stopped as he saw Ron. He narrowed his eyes and sent him a glare that made Ron feel that he was 13 again. He swept back through the door he had come out of. Hermione gave a sigh.
"Ron, why don't you go and sit in the living room, and I'll be right there." She pointed to a door opposite of the other one. He walked inside the room. It was nicely decorated, a simple style, much brighter than he would have thought. On the fire mantel stood her wedding picture. He had of course been invited, but he hadn't gone. She looked so happy, leaning into her husband, and he with his arm around her. Occasionally they looked at him and waved, smiling blissfully, but most of the time the where staring at each other, obviously very much in love. Next to it was a photo of Harry and Hermione. It was a recent picture, he could tell. And on the other side of the wedding picture was a picture of Hermiones family, the where smiling to the camera and a big black puddle was jumping playfully around. He didn't know that the Grangers had gotten a dog. A small sting in his heart told him that there wasn't much left in Hermione life that he knew about.
Ron could hear them talking, and then he heard them walking up the stairs, and then the sound of a door slamming. A minute later Hermione walked into the living room and sat down in a chair. Looking up at him she said.
"So how are you doing, Ron?" but he could hear the strain behind her voice.
"Not too good. And you?"
"I've been doing great. We are very happy."
They continued talking for a little while about small stuff, like the weather, and the most recent blunder of the new minister of magic. But, finally, since Ron didn't seem to be going to say anything soon about why he was there, Hermione brought it up.
"Why are you here Ron? You said you needed to talk to me."
Ron sat down in the sofa, sighing and looking up at her.
"I don't know you anymore Hermione. And I realized some time back that I do want to know you. You see I thought I did, but you have changed, I don't know any thing about you any more. Like spew, did you ever give that up?"
"It's S.P.E.W, Ron, and yes I stopped about a year after Hogwarts."
"Ah." He looked down again, and then let his eyes travel around the room.
~
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
~
"Why did we glide apart Hermione, I have forgotten?" He asked silently, looking at the picture of her and Harry. She fallowed his look.
"Have you? I still remember quite clearly."
"Then why don't you tell me?" his voice wasn't angry or accusing, just sad.
"Ron, it is not that easy to just talk about it," she too sounded sad.
"Please Hermione."
"We... I think it was because we broke up Ron. Because you never got over that, and because I did."
He looked back at her, his clear blue eyes meeting her brown for a second, and then looking away. He gave an other sigh.
"I suppose you are right. But I still think it had something to do with who you got together with."
"Ron, don't start that again."
"I wont."
There was an other pause, and a question hang in the air. One that had been asked many times, but always in anger, and therefore never receiving an answer.
"Why him, what made you fall in love with him? And not me?"
"Ron" she sounded tired now.
"I am not accusing you Hermione. I just need to know. What I did wrong."
"You mean why I fell out of love with you? I did love you Ron. Though I know you never thought so. But I did. You where my first every thing. My first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first..." she broke of and looked at him. "But we where never meant to last Ron. We where too different. I was young, but at the same time much older than any others my age. I wanted someone that I could talk to, some one who really understood me. Someone who wouldn't mind just sitting around enjoying the silence. And though you where great in a lot of things, you couldn't ever be those things."
"But then why did we stay together so long? It was almost two years." She stood up and put her arms around herself, like she was cold. Slowly she went over to the window and stared out. It took some time before she answered.
"I was to much up in the clouds to see anything. I was to amazed about the fact that you, anyone, could like me, and worship me like you did. And when I did realize it took even longer to see that you would never change like that."
"How long did you know, before we broke up?"
"I can't really remember. Not very long."
"And what about him?" he jerked his head towards the sealing.
"He didn't come into the picture until later. I gained a lot of respect for him during the war, and at one point we became... well I suppose friends is the wrong term. We weren't friends, we where people who talked, at random moments." She was quiet for some time, still looking out of the window. When she spoke again she bowed her head and closed her eyes.
"It developed from there." She looked up at him, and gave a half smile. "You really mustn't think it was easy Ron, us. It never was. We both where feeling guilty, for different reasons. We where constantly fighting. And then I told you and Harry. That didn't exactly make things better."
"But then you decided that love your love was stronger for him that us." He sounded bitter, if only a little.
"No Ron, I didn't. Harry either accepted it, or he decided he wasn't going to let me go because of it. I tried to reach you too Ron, but you where blinded by anger and hate. The last I tried was inviting you to our wedding. We had a big row about it actually." She turned her head again, the smile gone.
"He didn't feel that you needed a last chance, said that you had had plenty of opportunities. I said some pretty mean things and then he said that he didn't want any one that had made me cry so much at our wedding. Ron, I never pushed you away. You did. So don't come here and accuse me."
~
I know I let you down
Again and again
I know I never really treated you right
I've paid the price
I'm still paying for it every day
~
He got up and walked over to her. He wanted to put an arm on her shoulder, but knew it wouldn't be welcomed.
"I'm sorry, Hermione. I know that probably don't mean so much, but I am. I truly am."
Neither of them said anything after that. Hermione keep staring out of the window and Ron keep looking at her.
"Why did you come Ron? What do you want?" she turned and looked at him.
"I" he stopped, trying to find the right words. "I wanted to be your friend again. I still do, but I suppose it is too late now." She looked up at him, a bit surprised again. Then she gave him one of those half smiles, the ones he remembered her only using when she didn't have an answer.
"Friends? We where never friends Ron."
"Then what where we?"
"I don't know, how do you redefine something that never really had a name?"
"Then, do you think we could go back to that, what ever it was?"
"No, we can't. And to be honest, I don't want to."
~
So maybe I shouldn't have called
Was it too soon to tell?
Oh what the hell
It doesn't really matter
How do you redefine something that never really had a name?
Has your opinion changed?
~
"You don't?"
"No, I don't. I don't want to go back too that confusing relationship we had before we got together. I really don't."
"Then, do you think we could be friends? Start over."
"I don't know Ron." She sounded hesitant. "Frankly, I don't know if I can forgive you."
"Hermione" he started, but stopped. He didn't know what to say. What was there to say to that?
"What Ron?"
"I am asking you to forgive me, but not to forget it. But I realized that it too much to ask. You know, I am still afraid of him."
"What if you'll be coraguse, and I'll pretend I have forgiven you." She sounded so sad, like she was about to cry.
"No. That isn't right." He was sad too. He really didn't want to say goodbye.
"Ron," she said, like she could hear what he was thinking. "I am not the Hermione you remember. I am a grown woman now. Not a 17 year old."
"I know. I can just barely recognize you. It's like I can't see your face any more, it is someone else's. You look so different. But you are not the only one that has changed Hermione. I have too. I'm no longer 17 either. 17 year old me wasn't very smart, and he would never have come here. You know that."
"Then, if we don't know each other any more, if we are strangers, why do you want to be my friend? Why did you just not let me go?"
Why indeed. He studied her face for a long time, again looking for the right words. Then he said.
"Because I have known you since we where kids, because I don't feel that we can just throw it away. But I realize that we, only considering us two, really have to many reasons to keep that up.
"But we can't just think of us Hermione. I came here today, to make up with you. Because I wanted to, but mainly because of Harry. I am sure you have noticed that he looks strained when he is with us, he dose with me any way. Like there is this howl thing that he can't talk about. Like he needs to go around on tiptoes around us. And where we might not have many reasons to still be friends, we got Harry.
"I can just imagine him being over thrilled of seeing us three together again."
"Yes, I see your point. But listening to you makes me also see exactly how much you have changed. You are a stranger to me, a complete stranger."
"But would you try, I mean, to be friends?"
"I think so."
"Then let me introduce myself, ma'm. I am Ronald Weasly, but every one calls me just Ron."
She looked up at him, and for the first time in so long, she smiled at him. A real smile, showing her teeth.
"Pleased to meet to Ron, I am Hermione Granger Snape. Every one calls me Hermione." She stuck out her hand, and he took it. And there in her living room they meet.
"Would you like some tea Ron?"
"Tea would be lovely Hermione."
"Why don't we go into the kitchen then?"
And as he was sitting in the kitchen, watching her make tea, muggel way. And while they where talking about their lives, like they would with some one they just meet, he saw that it was still Hermiones face, still the same eyes, still the same mouth. And as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, he saw that she had the same hand and same ears. Maybe, just maybe she wasn't completely different. Just maybe.
~
I see your face
I see your face
~
A/N: So, what do you think? Please tell me so in a review. I highly appreciate those, and they are so easy to do too. No flames, though I welcome constructive criticism. (constructive being the keyword). Also the lyrics are by Savage Garden
Ps, A/N (27.04-04): Okay so I have reposed this story, so I can say this to Brunnetteweasley, and all you other Hermione/Ron fans that just read this story. It is a different point of view, and no Ron does not love Hermione any more. He was just sad that he had lost his childhood friend, he was regretting being a prat, and he was doing a very nice thing for Harry. And in case you didn't notice, he is smiling at the end, and every thing will be fine. Originally I thought of putting it under Snape and Hermione, as it would be more welcome there, but Snape dose not really have a role in the story and it is about Hermione and Ron. IT is a story about understanding that old wounds can be healed. I wont go into the whole, why Ron and Hermione never can really have lasting relation ship as they grow older, because then more people will just flame me. And because one should be allowed to prefer what ever ship one wants to. This goes both way people. Also, brunetteweasly, I am sure that you where trying to offend me, but I really couldn't stop laughing, because you missed the point of my story. Also, just so you know, you come of looking like a coward when you are being anonymous. It is like saying, I can insult you, but you are not really allowed to say anything in your defense.
~No Longer You~
Ron was looking up at the house. He could vaguely recognize it, but the color was different. It used to be a dark blue, but it was re painted. The house was now a bright yellow, with green window frames and a green door. There was a low fence around the house too, also green. A little path went up from the gate to the steps that led up to the door. He noticed that they where still dark from the rain.
The clouds were still blocking the sun, and a cold wind was blowing through the leaves in a big tree standing next to the path. Underneath the window grew a climbing rose bush. It wasn't in bloom yet, but Ron knew that the flowers would turn a beautiful deep red, that had a wonderful sent. The post box was also painted green, whit their name on it.
He walked slowly over and opened the gate. He noticed that it didn't make a sound, like it had. Someone had gotten around to oiling it. It was the same house, but it seemed so different. The window up in the second floor opened, and he could see the wind playing with the curtains. He even more slowly walked up the steps and stopped completely in front of the door. There he took a few deep breaths, a feeble attempt to slow down his heart. It was beating painfully hard against his chest. He lifted his hand to ring the doorbell, but it stopped in mid air. From the inside came laughter. He heard her clear crystal laugher, and a second one. A deep baritone one. And then the laughter suddenly stopped, for only to start again a few seconds later. It didn't take much imagination to figure out what had stopped the laughter.
Ron took an other deep breath, and rang the doorbell. It didn't take a long time before he heard footsteps, and the door opened. And there she was standing. Her hair was shorter now, more curly than frizzy. Her ears had tiny sliver earrings in them and he could see the slightest trace of makeup. She was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of loses green pants. There was a pair of glasses stuck up in her hair. All in all she looked much more grown up than he remembered. She seemed so different than the Hermione he remembered. Like she was some one completely different.
"Uhm." He started. Suddenly all the things he had though of saying was gone. "Hi Hermione."
She finally seemed to gather he wits, because she closed her mouth, and her eyes went back to their normal size. They no longer looked shocked, more sad and questioning.
"I probably should have sent an owl first, but..." he stopped and looked down, feeling his ears going red. "I was afraid you would just throw it away." He looked up again, "I thought we could talk or something. If you wanted to."
~
I would like to visit you for a while
Get away and out of this city
Maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break
We can go sit on your back porch
Relax
Talk about anything
It don't matter
I'll be courageous if you can pretend you've forgiven me
~
Still without saying anything, she moved away from the doorway, leaving room to letting him in. He walked in and after taking his shoes of, looked around. Some of the pictures hanging on the wall he recognized. But still they looked different, hanging there with pictures he had never seen before.
"Hermione, who was at the door?" he appeared from the doorway, and stopped as he saw Ron. He narrowed his eyes and sent him a glare that made Ron feel that he was 13 again. He swept back through the door he had come out of. Hermione gave a sigh.
"Ron, why don't you go and sit in the living room, and I'll be right there." She pointed to a door opposite of the other one. He walked inside the room. It was nicely decorated, a simple style, much brighter than he would have thought. On the fire mantel stood her wedding picture. He had of course been invited, but he hadn't gone. She looked so happy, leaning into her husband, and he with his arm around her. Occasionally they looked at him and waved, smiling blissfully, but most of the time the where staring at each other, obviously very much in love. Next to it was a photo of Harry and Hermione. It was a recent picture, he could tell. And on the other side of the wedding picture was a picture of Hermiones family, the where smiling to the camera and a big black puddle was jumping playfully around. He didn't know that the Grangers had gotten a dog. A small sting in his heart told him that there wasn't much left in Hermione life that he knew about.
Ron could hear them talking, and then he heard them walking up the stairs, and then the sound of a door slamming. A minute later Hermione walked into the living room and sat down in a chair. Looking up at him she said.
"So how are you doing, Ron?" but he could hear the strain behind her voice.
"Not too good. And you?"
"I've been doing great. We are very happy."
They continued talking for a little while about small stuff, like the weather, and the most recent blunder of the new minister of magic. But, finally, since Ron didn't seem to be going to say anything soon about why he was there, Hermione brought it up.
"Why are you here Ron? You said you needed to talk to me."
Ron sat down in the sofa, sighing and looking up at her.
"I don't know you anymore Hermione. And I realized some time back that I do want to know you. You see I thought I did, but you have changed, I don't know any thing about you any more. Like spew, did you ever give that up?"
"It's S.P.E.W, Ron, and yes I stopped about a year after Hogwarts."
"Ah." He looked down again, and then let his eyes travel around the room.
~
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
The picture frames have changed and so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
~
"Why did we glide apart Hermione, I have forgotten?" He asked silently, looking at the picture of her and Harry. She fallowed his look.
"Have you? I still remember quite clearly."
"Then why don't you tell me?" his voice wasn't angry or accusing, just sad.
"Ron, it is not that easy to just talk about it," she too sounded sad.
"Please Hermione."
"We... I think it was because we broke up Ron. Because you never got over that, and because I did."
He looked back at her, his clear blue eyes meeting her brown for a second, and then looking away. He gave an other sigh.
"I suppose you are right. But I still think it had something to do with who you got together with."
"Ron, don't start that again."
"I wont."
There was an other pause, and a question hang in the air. One that had been asked many times, but always in anger, and therefore never receiving an answer.
"Why him, what made you fall in love with him? And not me?"
"Ron" she sounded tired now.
"I am not accusing you Hermione. I just need to know. What I did wrong."
"You mean why I fell out of love with you? I did love you Ron. Though I know you never thought so. But I did. You where my first every thing. My first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first..." she broke of and looked at him. "But we where never meant to last Ron. We where too different. I was young, but at the same time much older than any others my age. I wanted someone that I could talk to, some one who really understood me. Someone who wouldn't mind just sitting around enjoying the silence. And though you where great in a lot of things, you couldn't ever be those things."
"But then why did we stay together so long? It was almost two years." She stood up and put her arms around herself, like she was cold. Slowly she went over to the window and stared out. It took some time before she answered.
"I was to much up in the clouds to see anything. I was to amazed about the fact that you, anyone, could like me, and worship me like you did. And when I did realize it took even longer to see that you would never change like that."
"How long did you know, before we broke up?"
"I can't really remember. Not very long."
"And what about him?" he jerked his head towards the sealing.
"He didn't come into the picture until later. I gained a lot of respect for him during the war, and at one point we became... well I suppose friends is the wrong term. We weren't friends, we where people who talked, at random moments." She was quiet for some time, still looking out of the window. When she spoke again she bowed her head and closed her eyes.
"It developed from there." She looked up at him, and gave a half smile. "You really mustn't think it was easy Ron, us. It never was. We both where feeling guilty, for different reasons. We where constantly fighting. And then I told you and Harry. That didn't exactly make things better."
"But then you decided that love your love was stronger for him that us." He sounded bitter, if only a little.
"No Ron, I didn't. Harry either accepted it, or he decided he wasn't going to let me go because of it. I tried to reach you too Ron, but you where blinded by anger and hate. The last I tried was inviting you to our wedding. We had a big row about it actually." She turned her head again, the smile gone.
"He didn't feel that you needed a last chance, said that you had had plenty of opportunities. I said some pretty mean things and then he said that he didn't want any one that had made me cry so much at our wedding. Ron, I never pushed you away. You did. So don't come here and accuse me."
~
I know I let you down
Again and again
I know I never really treated you right
I've paid the price
I'm still paying for it every day
~
He got up and walked over to her. He wanted to put an arm on her shoulder, but knew it wouldn't be welcomed.
"I'm sorry, Hermione. I know that probably don't mean so much, but I am. I truly am."
Neither of them said anything after that. Hermione keep staring out of the window and Ron keep looking at her.
"Why did you come Ron? What do you want?" she turned and looked at him.
"I" he stopped, trying to find the right words. "I wanted to be your friend again. I still do, but I suppose it is too late now." She looked up at him, a bit surprised again. Then she gave him one of those half smiles, the ones he remembered her only using when she didn't have an answer.
"Friends? We where never friends Ron."
"Then what where we?"
"I don't know, how do you redefine something that never really had a name?"
"Then, do you think we could go back to that, what ever it was?"
"No, we can't. And to be honest, I don't want to."
~
So maybe I shouldn't have called
Was it too soon to tell?
Oh what the hell
It doesn't really matter
How do you redefine something that never really had a name?
Has your opinion changed?
~
"You don't?"
"No, I don't. I don't want to go back too that confusing relationship we had before we got together. I really don't."
"Then, do you think we could be friends? Start over."
"I don't know Ron." She sounded hesitant. "Frankly, I don't know if I can forgive you."
"Hermione" he started, but stopped. He didn't know what to say. What was there to say to that?
"What Ron?"
"I am asking you to forgive me, but not to forget it. But I realized that it too much to ask. You know, I am still afraid of him."
"What if you'll be coraguse, and I'll pretend I have forgiven you." She sounded so sad, like she was about to cry.
"No. That isn't right." He was sad too. He really didn't want to say goodbye.
"Ron," she said, like she could hear what he was thinking. "I am not the Hermione you remember. I am a grown woman now. Not a 17 year old."
"I know. I can just barely recognize you. It's like I can't see your face any more, it is someone else's. You look so different. But you are not the only one that has changed Hermione. I have too. I'm no longer 17 either. 17 year old me wasn't very smart, and he would never have come here. You know that."
"Then, if we don't know each other any more, if we are strangers, why do you want to be my friend? Why did you just not let me go?"
Why indeed. He studied her face for a long time, again looking for the right words. Then he said.
"Because I have known you since we where kids, because I don't feel that we can just throw it away. But I realize that we, only considering us two, really have to many reasons to keep that up.
"But we can't just think of us Hermione. I came here today, to make up with you. Because I wanted to, but mainly because of Harry. I am sure you have noticed that he looks strained when he is with us, he dose with me any way. Like there is this howl thing that he can't talk about. Like he needs to go around on tiptoes around us. And where we might not have many reasons to still be friends, we got Harry.
"I can just imagine him being over thrilled of seeing us three together again."
"Yes, I see your point. But listening to you makes me also see exactly how much you have changed. You are a stranger to me, a complete stranger."
"But would you try, I mean, to be friends?"
"I think so."
"Then let me introduce myself, ma'm. I am Ronald Weasly, but every one calls me just Ron."
She looked up at him, and for the first time in so long, she smiled at him. A real smile, showing her teeth.
"Pleased to meet to Ron, I am Hermione Granger Snape. Every one calls me Hermione." She stuck out her hand, and he took it. And there in her living room they meet.
"Would you like some tea Ron?"
"Tea would be lovely Hermione."
"Why don't we go into the kitchen then?"
And as he was sitting in the kitchen, watching her make tea, muggel way. And while they where talking about their lives, like they would with some one they just meet, he saw that it was still Hermiones face, still the same eyes, still the same mouth. And as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, he saw that she had the same hand and same ears. Maybe, just maybe she wasn't completely different. Just maybe.
~
I see your face
I see your face
~
A/N: So, what do you think? Please tell me so in a review. I highly appreciate those, and they are so easy to do too. No flames, though I welcome constructive criticism. (constructive being the keyword). Also the lyrics are by Savage Garden
Ps, A/N (27.04-04): Okay so I have reposed this story, so I can say this to Brunnetteweasley, and all you other Hermione/Ron fans that just read this story. It is a different point of view, and no Ron does not love Hermione any more. He was just sad that he had lost his childhood friend, he was regretting being a prat, and he was doing a very nice thing for Harry. And in case you didn't notice, he is smiling at the end, and every thing will be fine. Originally I thought of putting it under Snape and Hermione, as it would be more welcome there, but Snape dose not really have a role in the story and it is about Hermione and Ron. IT is a story about understanding that old wounds can be healed. I wont go into the whole, why Ron and Hermione never can really have lasting relation ship as they grow older, because then more people will just flame me. And because one should be allowed to prefer what ever ship one wants to. This goes both way people. Also, brunetteweasly, I am sure that you where trying to offend me, but I really couldn't stop laughing, because you missed the point of my story. Also, just so you know, you come of looking like a coward when you are being anonymous. It is like saying, I can insult you, but you are not really allowed to say anything in your defense.