I don't own Ranma and I don't own my friends either.
Isn't that sad? sobs
WAIT!!! I do own myself and that black twin of mine, Rovert!!! And I own
Miyu, Samoht, Ybbob, and the every other OC who hasn't arrived yet! Ha ha
ha ha ha!!!
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop
Chapter 11: Bobby's new toy
Acknowledgement: Bobby for co-writing........again. Another Acknowledgement: Bobby's "ka-blooey"
The real Me: Yeah. I hate that.
The real Thomas: I mean, who would eat that thing?
The real Me: It looked like it came out of... OH!!!
The real Thomas: Huh?
The real Me: Ummmm..... EA! Did I say press the red button?
The real EA: It was so big and shiny! *drool*
The real Me: *slaps head*
The real EA: I'll press it again!!!
The real Me: Wait! don't do tha-
*deet*
*OFF THE AIR* ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... *ON THE AIR*
The real EA: I love that sound!
The real Bobby: If we're just gonna record, get the script, man!
The real Me: Besa ain't here yet!
(SOMEWHERE IN MCDONALD'S)
The real Besa: Ah want mah ass cream!!!
Counter lady: Uhhh what was that again, sir?
The real Besa: ASS CREAM!!
Counter lady: Just a minute...
*the counter lady comes back with a tube of ointment for the butt*
The real Besa: Wut is dis, yo?
Counter lady: You said you wanted ass cream.
The real Besa: YO! Ah dint say ass cream!! Ah said ass cream!!
Counter lady: Ohhh, you meant THAT kind of cream. Ok!!
*counter lady comes back with anal lube*
Counter lady: He he. Good luck with your "man"!!
The real Besa: Imma nut gay, foo! Ah said ass cream, Sunovabiatch!
Counter lady: Oh. THAT kind of cream. So you're the one who's gonna "do" it, huh? What, don't have any juice left?
The real Besa: Just get it, biatch.
*counter lady comes back with a cup of sperm*
The real Besa: Wut da farck is dis, yo???
Counter lady: Cream.
The real Besa: ITZ FARCKEN SPURM, FOO!!!
Counter lady: THEN WHAT KIND OF CREAM IS IT????
The real Besa: Yo kno, sum peeps can have soo much green on their gray mattah, yo.
Counter lady: ???
The real Besa: Ah wunt da ass cream on da cone wit fudj, pleez!
*counter lady gets a cone and puts the sperm in it after that puts fudge on top*
The real Besa: AAARRGHH!!! DUMMMM BLONDE BIATCH!!!
(BACK AT THE HOSTS)
The real Bobby: Well, let's start anyway.
The real Me: Just skip Besa.
The real EA: BACK TO THE STORY!!
When we last left the gang... well you figure it out.
Akane: Just eat it! It's just food!
Thomas: Sorry 'kane. I got a situation here where...
Samoht: HA HA HA HA!!! Porn grab!!
*samoht uses porn to make a giant octopus tentacle and grabs Thomas with it*
Thomas: AAAARRGHHH!!!!
Samoht: You're off-guard!!!
Akane: THOMAS!! I never you were in a fight!!
Thomas: Right. And didn't you see all the blood and the porn flying around?
(IN THE PORN CAGE....)
Me: Uhh.... EA. It's just porn. Don't get aroused.
EA: HEY!! Like you can't become aroused.
Me: I'm just used to porn, that's all.
EA: Oh. But I'm not!!!
Me: Ehhh.
EA: Oh no. I GOT GROWTH MAN!!! I NEED TO JACK OFF!!!
Me: OH SHIT!! NOT HERE MAN!!! Wait! I got an idea!!
EA: What?
Me: Eat this thingy.
EA: *eats the thingy and falls asleep immediately*
Me: Sleeping Son of a Bitch™ Sleeping Pills!! Works every time or your fucking money back while we kick the defective machine's ass!
EA: ZZZzzZZzzZzzzZZzzZz
Akane: Let go of him!!
Samoht: Heeeeeey, sexy! Why don't you come with me?? Ehh?
Akane: YOU PER-
Samoht: PORN GRAB!!! *does porn grab to akane*
Akane: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Thomas: AAG!! Akane!! AAAAGGGG!!
Samoht: Shut up!!! *makes porn grab tighter on Thomas*
Thomas: AARRGHH!! You bastard....... *faints*
(SOMEWHERE IN A TOWER...)
Rovert: He's gone over his ass again. Heh, that Samoht.
(SOMEWHERE IN A FOXHOLE...)
Ybbob: Vhat ish Samoht up teh again? Trayin' tah rep anozher gurl again? And ish zat a guy on zhe ozher tentakele???
(SOMEWHERE UNDERWATER...)
*due to the denseness of the saltwater, we will translate the underwater speech Besa is saying*
Besa: *wakes up* Where am I?
Fish: Hey, aren't you supposed to be up there?
Besa: *realizes he can't breathe* OHH SHIIIITT!!!!
*BESA SWIMS UP TO THE SURFACE*
Besa: Fwehhhh!!! How long was I there??
*a surfer hits Besa with his board*
*!!!! TONK !!!!*
Surfer: Whoa!! Sorry there, dude!!
Besa: *sinks*
Surfer: DUDE!!! Are you dead, dude? Hey, dude? Dude? Duuuuuude?
Besa: *still sinking*
Surfer: Ah, who cares? Must be one of those diver dudes.
(BACK TO THE BIG BATTLE)
Samoht: C'mon! You have been chewing on that thing for 5 minutes now! That ink is poisonous you kno- I mean yeah!! Eat it and.... um.... DIE!!!
(BACK IN THE CAGE...)
EA: ZZZzzzZZzzzzzz
Me: C'mon Thomas!!! And Bobby!! ....Wherever you are.
(SOMEWHERE IN THE MEN'S SHOWER ROOM)
Bobby: Where's the soap?
The real Bobby: HEY!! How come you only revealed my location just now??
The real Me: Uhhhh.... Don't you think it was hard enough to manage the story with only 2 characters? Now we got... ummm.... 9!!!
The real Bobby: So?
The real Me: Never mind.
(SOMEWHERE AT THE PARKING LOT OF MCDONALDS)
The real Besa: *running* Nooooo!! It wuz ah mizteak, yo!!!
Policeman: STOP!! I AM AN OFFICER OF THE LAW!!
The real Besa: Geez, foo. Juz far shootin dat blonde biatch?
The real Besa: Hey! Diz kent beh hard!! Ah onlah gottah wanted lavahl 1!
(I DON'T OWN GTA VICE CITY OR ANY GTA FOR THAT MATTER)
The real Besa: Hahaha! I can still shoot anyone!! *shoots policeman*
*Besa gets wanted level 6*
The real Besa: Euh Shitznaz!!!
(BACK TO THE HOSTS)
The real Me: You don't have to go back here. Just get back to the story!!!!
(SORRY... HEHEHE. BACK TO THE STORY!!!!)
(........SPECIFICALLY BACK TO THE PREVIOUS LOCATION)
Bobby: Where's that damn soap? *looks around cubicle*
*Bobby slips*
Bobby: WHOAWHOAWHOASHITSHIT!!!
*!!! TONK !!!*
Bobby: Oh!! There it is!!!!
*Bobby sees a broken piece of... um... something*
Bobby: Hey!! What the hell is this!! Oh no. Did my head break the marble or something? Ah well... Let the next guy cut his foot.
*Bobby leaves*
Bobby: Oh wait!!! I forgot my shampoo bottle!!
*Bobby enters and cuts his foot*
Bobby: Oh shit. Does this mean I'm the next guy? Heh.
Bobby: What the? I see spots!!! *disappears*
*Bobby appears inside another cubicle*
Miyu: Huh?
Bobby: Hello.
*Bobby disappears*
Miyu: *scratches head*
*Bobby appears inside the porn cage*
Bobby: Hello!! What are you doing in the shower room?
Me: This isn't a shower room, ass!! We're fighting this guy!!!
Bobby: Who?
Me: Another evil twin, Samoht!!
Bobby: *teleports underwater*
Bobby: Glugglug!!
The real Me: Turn on the dubbing!
The real Thomas: Yeah yeah. Just shut your asshole. It stinks around here.
(BACK TO THE STORY)
Bobby: *sees Besa* BESA!!!!
*BOBBY TAKES BESA UP TO THE SURFACE*
Bobby: Blablablablablablablabla!!
The real Me: Turn it off....... NOWWWW, DAMMMIITTT!!!!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah. ...bitch.
The real Me: HHMMM???
The real Thomas: *pushes button*
(BACK TO THE STORY)
Bobby: Huh? You saw what?
Besa: I saw this surfer mean guy. And he hit me with this thingy he has under his feet!
Bobby: You mean a surfboard?
Besa: You know, I have been thinking about ngaaarrkkk!!
Bobby: Huh?
Besa: MMMFFF!! MMMFFF!!!
Bobby: You got a fish in your mouth.
Besa: HOOOCKKK PTOOOEEYY!!!!
Bobby: Huh? I stopped teleporting!! I can control this now!!!
Besa: *runs off* NOW TO KILL THAT BAD "DUDE"!!
Bobby: Hey!! I still got that book Tofu gave us!! I'll read it!!
(BACK TO THE BATTLE)
Me: Was that Bobby just now? What do you think, EA?
EA: ZZzzZzzzZZzz
Me: Yeah. I think so.
EA: ZZZzzZZzzz
Me: Who're you calling a bitch?
(WE FOCUS OUTSIDE THE CAGE FOR ONCE)
Samoht: Just give up already!!! Damn piece of shit that crapped shit!
Thomas: ZZzzZZzzz
Samoht: Great! He got bored. I mean how? He's got all this great porn wrapped around him!!!
Samoht: I know!! He's immobile right now so he can't reach into his pants!!! At least I think so.
Akane: ZZZzzZzzz
Samoht: Perfect. She's asleep too. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
*Samoht drops Thomas and takes Akane over his shoulder*
(AT THE PICNIC SITE)
Bobby: Ok.. Let me see. Teleportation....
Bobby: AHA!! The teleportation charm. To get this charm, you must get this mysterious shard of glass that has not been found yet. People think this is only a myth but recently we have been getting signals from the coast. We're not sure who is even FIT to get it!
Bobby: Oh well. I guess I'm just lucky!! Heh!! Hey! Where's Thomas? And EA? AND TREVOR?? WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY GO???
(SOMEWHERE IN A FOXHOLE)
Ybbob: Hah hah!! I can see das doof man, Bobby!!
Ybbob: I'm ganna kick hish.... azh!!!! *calls a Panzer Division*
Ybbob: Hah hah hah hah!! Hitler das doooof!! *salute*
(Ybbob goes to the beach)
Bobby: Who're you?
Ybbob: Ish bin das zheneral Ybbob!!
Bobby: Oh yeah! You're that guy EA talked about!!!
Ybbob: You vill die now, vitch!! *takes out luger*
Bobby: OH SHIT!!! *ducks*
*BANG*
Bobby: Cmon this isn't funny!! You tried to kill me!!
Ybbob: Zat ish da point, doof!! Juz like Rovert tried tah kill Trevor!!
Bobby: And just like Samoht tried to kill Thomas. Yeah. I know.
Ybbob: Szee a pattern hkhere??
Bobby: What? You guys a pact or something?
Ybbob: VE ARE DA DISCHARMED!!!!! NYAH HKHAH HKHAH HKHAH!!
Bobby: .....
Ybbob: DIE!!!
*BANG*
Bobby: *ducks matrix style and at the same time teleports behind Ybbob*
Ybbob: Vhat da hkhell??
Bobby: *kicks Ybbob's ass*
Ybbob: AAAG!! Ya arzhe!!
Bobby: *teleports at Ybbob's front and kicks his dick*
Ybbob: AAGGG!! Da payn!!! *faints*
Bobby: I love this charm, man.
*Tanks arrive*
Bobby: Huh?
Captain: AAAA!!! You killed da zheneral ve vill destroy you, man ov evel!!!
Bobby: What? He's just not excercising his balls!!
Captain: HKHOW DARE YOU MAKHKE FUN OV OUR ZHENERAL!!! Ve vill kick your-
Tank operator: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Captain: Vait! I didn't shay-
2 tank operators: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!
Captain: VAIT!! ZHUT DA VUCK UP!!!
8 Tank operators: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Captain: ........
Every tank operator in the division: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!!
Captain: Vell iv you can't beat em, zhoin em!!! ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Bobby: What the hell are you talking about? Can't you say anything else?
Captain: I know... FOYAAAAAA!!!
*BOOOMM*
Bobby: Oh shit.
*!!!!KA-BLOOEY!!!!*
Bobby: *gets blown away* NOOOOOO!!!
Tank operator: Hay captan!! Din he look familiah??
Captain: Ah shet.
(BACK TO SAMOHT)
Samoht: Ha ha! I tied her up now! Ha ha!!
Samoht: Now to find another one!!!
(AT THE WOMEN'S SHOWER ROOM)
Miyu: *walking torwards the exit* I don't get it.
Miyu: Was that just Bobby I saw? Or did I eat too much soap again?
Miyu: Oh well! The past has passed! Heee heeeeee!!
Miyu: Huh?
Samoht: Who are you?
Miyu: I am your conscience. Whooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Samoht: Crazy lady. HEY!! I KNOW!! PORN MASK!!
Miyu: *gets face wrapped in porn* AAAHHHH!!!! *faints*
Samoht: Man I am good!! How do I do it???
(AT THE PORN CAGE...)
EA: ZZZZzzzZzzz
Me: The pill does work!! How do they make it so small?
EA: ZZzzZZzz
Me: Oh you're saying that now, EA???
EA: ZZzzZZzzzZZzz
Me: Hey!! I have scissors in my pocket! This is dangerous!!! MAN!!!
EA: ZZzz-
Me: What? I can cut a way out of here?
EA: ZZzzZz-
Me: Nice one!! *cuts magazines*
Me: I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! YEEEHAAOOO!!!
EA: *wakes up* Huh? Trevor!! What the?
Me: I give you..... FREEEEEEDOOOMMMMM!!!!
EA: Uhhh... he he he. YAY!
(AT THIS LIGHTHOUSE...)
Rovert: Well, Samoht gave me this heavy box. I wonder...
*Rovert opens the box*
Rovert: AAHHHH!! AKANE!!
Akane: SAMOHT!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!
Rovert: Uh oh. I guess Samoht still hates me for that underwear incident.
*following cannot be shown because of sheer violence*
*...but we're not showing it are we?? We're TELLING it!!*
*...but due to the flow of the story, let's change the location!*
(AT THIS ABANDONED WAREHOUSE)
Samoht: Hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Now for some good dirty fun!
Miyu: *wakes up* Huh?
Samoht: Hah ha!! Take off the damn suit, baby!
Miyu: NOOOO!! Who are you anyway?
Samoht: I am your conscience. Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Miyu: Stop that.
Samoht: Sorry. BUT TAKE IT OFF, WOMAN!!!
Miyu: NOOOOO!!! NEVER!!!!
Samoht: If you don't, I will um...........
Miyu: Do it yourself?
Samoht: No, no. That's too old. I need something more cool and evil.
Miyu: Ummm.....
Samoht: AAA!!! MY HEAD!!!
Miyu: Are you okay?
Samoht: HA HA!!! Got you!! *grabs her*
Miyu: AAAAHHHH!!!
Samoht: Man, I am sooooooooooooo good.
Miyu: *slap*
*!!! WHAPACK !!!*
Samoht: OW!! Why you... *grabs her again*
Miyu: HIIIYAAAAAA!!! LET GO OF ME!!!
Samoht: Now, now. Be a good girl and take it off.
Miyu: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
*wall explodes*
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Me: AAAAAAAAA!!! What the fuck are you doing to her??? Get away!!!
Miyu: Trevor!!! You did come for me!!!
Me: Heh heh. Ain't I great?
Samoht: You!!! I thought-
Me: Sorry, man. It will take more than just porn to stop me.
Samoht: Why you......
Me: Hey Samoht! I have a present for you!
Samoht: OOOOOOH! WHATWHATWHATWHAT???
Me: A pair of....
Samoht: *bambi eyes*
Miyu: Wow. He's even more stupider than I am. Hee hee!!!
Samoht: Yesyesyes??
Me: Scissors!!!
Samoht: Oh nonononononononononono!!!
(BACK TO WHERE BOBBY WAS)
Bobby: I can't move. My spine....
Bobby: But I can still move my hand. I know!! I'll get my "emergency" radio and call another panzer division!
Bobby: dot-dot-dot-dash-dot-dash
German: Vhat???
Bobby: I mean........ ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
German: Vhat??
Bobby: Ah well....... HELP!!! This is Bobby! I need help here now!
German: Ja wohl! (Yes sir!)
Bobby: NOW!!!
(A FEW MINUTES LATER)
Tank operator: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Bobby: Great. Now get me some mould. My spine is broken.
(A FEW SURGERIES LATER...)
Bobby: Ahhhh I feel great. NOW YOU GUYS!!! Kill Ybbob's division!!!
Tank operators: *starts advancing* ACHTUNG!!! ACHTUNG!! Ja wohl!
The real Bobby: Hey! I am a member of fanfic dot net now!! Ha ha ha!!
The real Me: Hey readers! I told you he says "achtung panzer" a lot! Look at his profile! His penname is "Erwin Rommel".
The real EA: ZzzZzzz
The real Me: Dint wake you up, huh? Ah well. BACK TO THE STORY!!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.
(BACK TO YBBOB)
Ybbob: Vell, avter zheveral zhurgeries at da dik und da..... azh.
Captain: Ve are khkhappy ta zee you shtill alive!!
Ybbob: Vhat are you, shvul??
???: WHO DARE TREAD ON MY PICNIC SPOT??????
Ybbob: Hoo are yoo?
???: I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!!! A.K.A. Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, upperclassman.
Ybbob: Upperclazhman dis, vitch!! FOYAAAA!!
*BOOM*
Kuno: Die you fiendish contraption! *cuts the shell into half*
Ybbob: Vhat zhe heck? Iz it delayed??
Captain: Ummmmmmmmm..... Yah!!
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
Ybbob, Captain, and Kuno: *flies into the air* NOOOOO!!!
Bobby: Now if we just....
*!!!!!!!!!!!!CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Bobby: Well that's convenient.
Kuno: I will smite you, creature of evil!!!!!
Bobby: Easy there, Kuno. I'm not that guy you're after.
Kuno: I will smite you, creature of evil!!!!! DIE!!!
Bobby: Huh? What are you ta-
Kuno: *slash*
Bobby: *evade*
Kuno: It will be a fight to the death. And it will be I, Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, upperclassman, who will emerge victo-
Bobby: *disappear*
Kuno: -rious!!!
Bobby: *reappears behind Kuno and kicks him*
Kuno: YOWZA!!! HEY!
Ybbob: *wakes up*
Captain (good): HAY!!! ITZ BOBBY!!! PROTEKT HIM AT ALL KHKOSHTS!!
Tank operator (good): Ja wohl!! ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Ybbob: No! Ish bin Ybbo- I mean yes!! Ish bin Bobby!! Protekhkt me from dat feend Bobby!!!
Captain (good):VHAAAAT??? ACHTUNG!!! ACHTUNG!!!
Captain: Vich vone's vich?
Ybbob: Ish bin Ybbob. Vut zhey dunt know dat, doo zhey?
Captain: Yoo akhre eevil. I khlike dat.
Bobby: Aww c'mon!! 1 against... 10. WAIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
Bobby: I'm the only one who speaks correct English here. Unlike you, Ybbob.
*SHOWDOWN*
Ybbob: NOOOOOOOO!!! ZHIT!!! DHAAAAAAAAKKK!! FOYAAA!!
*BOOOMM*
Kuno: It's that vile thing!!! *fails to slash shell and hits it instead*
*the shell bounces of the bokken and lands on Ybbob*
Ybbob: ZUNOFAVICH!!!!
*!!!KA-BLOOEY!!!*
Kuno: NO! My ally is dead because of my weakness! I have failed.
Bobby: *sweat drop* I ought to thank him... but nah.
Kuno: I will gladly die...
Kuno: *Gets his wooden sword and hits himself with it*
Kuno: Ow. OK!! I HAVE BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH!! NOW DIE!!
Bobby: Uh oh.
Kuno: *charges* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Bobby: Hey, cool! He's fighting me! He he.
Kuno: *gets kicked in the face*
Bobby: Huh?
Ranma: Don't start the party without me!
Kuno: AA!!! You are indeed EVIL!! You have joined forces with that vile Saotome!!!
Ranma: Just shut up. Psst. Use your other charm, Bobby.
Bobby: Huh? Oh. I get it.
Bobby: *disappears*
Ranma: Heh heh.
Kuno: *9 slashes*
Ranma: *dodges all except 1*
*TONK*
Ranma: *Gets knocked into the ocean*
Kuno: Ha ha ha. Justice is served. OW!! What the?
*punch*
Kuno: OW!! Who did that?
*choke*
Kuno: OOUULLFFFFFFFKKKK!!!
*makes funny face*
Kuno: I got you! *swing*
*TONK*
Bobby: *reappears* OW!!
Kuno: NOW I WILL DESTROY YOU!!! *slash*
Bobby: *teleports behind Kuno*
Kuno: WHOAWHOA!!! *falls into water*
Bobby: Heh. Justice has been shat.
Kuno: WHY YOU... OOOOHH!!! Usagi no onna!!! Why are you here? You must not be here! I am fighting the dangerous Ranma Saotome! You indeed love me so! You have come all the way to-
Onna-Ranma: *punch*
Kuno: *gets knocked into space* I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOUUUU!!!!
Onna-Ranma: Baka.
Bobby: Whoa!! Whoa!! Whoa with a capital...... W!
Onna-Ranma: Huh?
Bobby: I thought I'd never see this in real life.... but I did!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Onna-Ranma: ?????
Besa: Excuse me.
Onna-Ranma: Besa?
Besa: Where's the first aid kit? *faints*
Onna-Ranma: Oh boy.
(BACK TO ME)
Me: Hah hah! The great Samoht is defeated!!
Samoht: MY PORN!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Miyu: This sucks! The readers missed the whole showdown because of Bobby!!
Me: What the hell are you talking about?
Miyu: Umm... nothing.
Thomas: You know that-that-that.. THING you did!! That was really cool! Kinda like it came from a movie!!
EA: Yeah! That was really coooooll!
Me: Heh. Ain't I great?
The real Me: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Chapter end!!
The real Me: Get the sneak peek tape and play it!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah, Ric Flair.
-----------------------------------------
???: Sorry thar moit. I canut gaw when mah head bangin on boomshine there, mush!
Rovert: What the heck are you talking about?
Ybbob: Vlack zheep strikes egain!
???: Who're ye callin black shoip, damn nuttah? I oughtta go snip on there olyphant of yars.
Ybbob: Dezhiphering mezzage..... vailed.
---------------------------------------
The real Me: Make it quick. Close the lights!! I need rest after that long chapter.
The real Thomas: Yeah.
*RING RING*
The real Bobby: Hello?
Miyu: Hello..... Bobby.
The real Bobby: Yes?
Miyu: You know this was co-written by you, right?
The real Bobby: Yes?
Miyu: BECAUSE OF THAT, WE MISSED THE BIG SHOWDOWN!!!
The real Bobby: Trevor's the one who's typing!
Miyu: Ok. Umm... can I like... talk to him?
The real Bobby: Ok. Just a sec.
*door busts open*
The real Besa: DAMM CAAPASS!!! Pay da ma krub foo!
The real Bobby: Can you call again? Besa shot someone again.
Miyu: Wait! I-
The real Bobby: *puts down phone*
The real Besa: Wat em ah gunna doo, yo? Ah got wunted lavahl 6!!
The real Bobby: I know. Surrender yourself.
The real Besa: Yo foo!
The real Bobby: Or, get your controller and press r1 r1 o r2 up down up down up down.
The real Besa: Dis ain't GTA Vice City™, foo!
The real Bobby: I have an idea.
*Bobby goes out of frat house*
The real Bobby: Hey! Besa's not here so scram!!
Policeman: Ok. *leaves*
The real Bobby: Problem solved, Besa.
The real Besa: Yo!! Dat wuz kul yo!!
The real Bobby: Oh wait! He's over here!
Policeman: Where?
The real Bobby: Here.
Policeman: AHA!!
*policeman arrests The real Besa*
The real Besa: SSHIIIAAAATTT!! Ah will get yo fur dis, foo!!
The real Me: Uh oh. THOMAS!! Press the button, would you?
The real EA: I'll do it!!!
The real Me: WAIT!! Not y-
*OFF THE AIR*
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop
Chapter 11: Bobby's new toy
Acknowledgement: Bobby for co-writing........again. Another Acknowledgement: Bobby's "ka-blooey"
The real Me: Yeah. I hate that.
The real Thomas: I mean, who would eat that thing?
The real Me: It looked like it came out of... OH!!!
The real Thomas: Huh?
The real Me: Ummmm..... EA! Did I say press the red button?
The real EA: It was so big and shiny! *drool*
The real Me: *slaps head*
The real EA: I'll press it again!!!
The real Me: Wait! don't do tha-
*deet*
*OFF THE AIR* ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... *ON THE AIR*
The real EA: I love that sound!
The real Bobby: If we're just gonna record, get the script, man!
The real Me: Besa ain't here yet!
(SOMEWHERE IN MCDONALD'S)
The real Besa: Ah want mah ass cream!!!
Counter lady: Uhhh what was that again, sir?
The real Besa: ASS CREAM!!
Counter lady: Just a minute...
*the counter lady comes back with a tube of ointment for the butt*
The real Besa: Wut is dis, yo?
Counter lady: You said you wanted ass cream.
The real Besa: YO! Ah dint say ass cream!! Ah said ass cream!!
Counter lady: Ohhh, you meant THAT kind of cream. Ok!!
*counter lady comes back with anal lube*
Counter lady: He he. Good luck with your "man"!!
The real Besa: Imma nut gay, foo! Ah said ass cream, Sunovabiatch!
Counter lady: Oh. THAT kind of cream. So you're the one who's gonna "do" it, huh? What, don't have any juice left?
The real Besa: Just get it, biatch.
*counter lady comes back with a cup of sperm*
The real Besa: Wut da farck is dis, yo???
Counter lady: Cream.
The real Besa: ITZ FARCKEN SPURM, FOO!!!
Counter lady: THEN WHAT KIND OF CREAM IS IT????
The real Besa: Yo kno, sum peeps can have soo much green on their gray mattah, yo.
Counter lady: ???
The real Besa: Ah wunt da ass cream on da cone wit fudj, pleez!
*counter lady gets a cone and puts the sperm in it after that puts fudge on top*
The real Besa: AAARRGHH!!! DUMMMM BLONDE BIATCH!!!
(BACK AT THE HOSTS)
The real Bobby: Well, let's start anyway.
The real Me: Just skip Besa.
The real EA: BACK TO THE STORY!!
When we last left the gang... well you figure it out.
Akane: Just eat it! It's just food!
Thomas: Sorry 'kane. I got a situation here where...
Samoht: HA HA HA HA!!! Porn grab!!
*samoht uses porn to make a giant octopus tentacle and grabs Thomas with it*
Thomas: AAAARRGHHH!!!!
Samoht: You're off-guard!!!
Akane: THOMAS!! I never you were in a fight!!
Thomas: Right. And didn't you see all the blood and the porn flying around?
(IN THE PORN CAGE....)
Me: Uhh.... EA. It's just porn. Don't get aroused.
EA: HEY!! Like you can't become aroused.
Me: I'm just used to porn, that's all.
EA: Oh. But I'm not!!!
Me: Ehhh.
EA: Oh no. I GOT GROWTH MAN!!! I NEED TO JACK OFF!!!
Me: OH SHIT!! NOT HERE MAN!!! Wait! I got an idea!!
EA: What?
Me: Eat this thingy.
EA: *eats the thingy and falls asleep immediately*
Me: Sleeping Son of a Bitch™ Sleeping Pills!! Works every time or your fucking money back while we kick the defective machine's ass!
EA: ZZZzzZZzzZzzzZZzzZz
Akane: Let go of him!!
Samoht: Heeeeeey, sexy! Why don't you come with me?? Ehh?
Akane: YOU PER-
Samoht: PORN GRAB!!! *does porn grab to akane*
Akane: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Thomas: AAG!! Akane!! AAAAGGGG!!
Samoht: Shut up!!! *makes porn grab tighter on Thomas*
Thomas: AARRGHH!! You bastard....... *faints*
(SOMEWHERE IN A TOWER...)
Rovert: He's gone over his ass again. Heh, that Samoht.
(SOMEWHERE IN A FOXHOLE...)
Ybbob: Vhat ish Samoht up teh again? Trayin' tah rep anozher gurl again? And ish zat a guy on zhe ozher tentakele???
(SOMEWHERE UNDERWATER...)
*due to the denseness of the saltwater, we will translate the underwater speech Besa is saying*
Besa: *wakes up* Where am I?
Fish: Hey, aren't you supposed to be up there?
Besa: *realizes he can't breathe* OHH SHIIIITT!!!!
*BESA SWIMS UP TO THE SURFACE*
Besa: Fwehhhh!!! How long was I there??
*a surfer hits Besa with his board*
*!!!! TONK !!!!*
Surfer: Whoa!! Sorry there, dude!!
Besa: *sinks*
Surfer: DUDE!!! Are you dead, dude? Hey, dude? Dude? Duuuuuude?
Besa: *still sinking*
Surfer: Ah, who cares? Must be one of those diver dudes.
(BACK TO THE BIG BATTLE)
Samoht: C'mon! You have been chewing on that thing for 5 minutes now! That ink is poisonous you kno- I mean yeah!! Eat it and.... um.... DIE!!!
(BACK IN THE CAGE...)
EA: ZZZzzzZZzzzzzz
Me: C'mon Thomas!!! And Bobby!! ....Wherever you are.
(SOMEWHERE IN THE MEN'S SHOWER ROOM)
Bobby: Where's the soap?
The real Bobby: HEY!! How come you only revealed my location just now??
The real Me: Uhhhh.... Don't you think it was hard enough to manage the story with only 2 characters? Now we got... ummm.... 9!!!
The real Bobby: So?
The real Me: Never mind.
(SOMEWHERE AT THE PARKING LOT OF MCDONALDS)
The real Besa: *running* Nooooo!! It wuz ah mizteak, yo!!!
Policeman: STOP!! I AM AN OFFICER OF THE LAW!!
The real Besa: Geez, foo. Juz far shootin dat blonde biatch?
The real Besa: Hey! Diz kent beh hard!! Ah onlah gottah wanted lavahl 1!
(I DON'T OWN GTA VICE CITY OR ANY GTA FOR THAT MATTER)
The real Besa: Hahaha! I can still shoot anyone!! *shoots policeman*
*Besa gets wanted level 6*
The real Besa: Euh Shitznaz!!!
(BACK TO THE HOSTS)
The real Me: You don't have to go back here. Just get back to the story!!!!
(SORRY... HEHEHE. BACK TO THE STORY!!!!)
(........SPECIFICALLY BACK TO THE PREVIOUS LOCATION)
Bobby: Where's that damn soap? *looks around cubicle*
*Bobby slips*
Bobby: WHOAWHOAWHOASHITSHIT!!!
*!!! TONK !!!*
Bobby: Oh!! There it is!!!!
*Bobby sees a broken piece of... um... something*
Bobby: Hey!! What the hell is this!! Oh no. Did my head break the marble or something? Ah well... Let the next guy cut his foot.
*Bobby leaves*
Bobby: Oh wait!!! I forgot my shampoo bottle!!
*Bobby enters and cuts his foot*
Bobby: Oh shit. Does this mean I'm the next guy? Heh.
Bobby: What the? I see spots!!! *disappears*
*Bobby appears inside another cubicle*
Miyu: Huh?
Bobby: Hello.
*Bobby disappears*
Miyu: *scratches head*
*Bobby appears inside the porn cage*
Bobby: Hello!! What are you doing in the shower room?
Me: This isn't a shower room, ass!! We're fighting this guy!!!
Bobby: Who?
Me: Another evil twin, Samoht!!
Bobby: *teleports underwater*
Bobby: Glugglug!!
The real Me: Turn on the dubbing!
The real Thomas: Yeah yeah. Just shut your asshole. It stinks around here.
(BACK TO THE STORY)
Bobby: *sees Besa* BESA!!!!
*BOBBY TAKES BESA UP TO THE SURFACE*
Bobby: Blablablablablablablabla!!
The real Me: Turn it off....... NOWWWW, DAMMMIITTT!!!!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah. ...bitch.
The real Me: HHMMM???
The real Thomas: *pushes button*
(BACK TO THE STORY)
Bobby: Huh? You saw what?
Besa: I saw this surfer mean guy. And he hit me with this thingy he has under his feet!
Bobby: You mean a surfboard?
Besa: You know, I have been thinking about ngaaarrkkk!!
Bobby: Huh?
Besa: MMMFFF!! MMMFFF!!!
Bobby: You got a fish in your mouth.
Besa: HOOOCKKK PTOOOEEYY!!!!
Bobby: Huh? I stopped teleporting!! I can control this now!!!
Besa: *runs off* NOW TO KILL THAT BAD "DUDE"!!
Bobby: Hey!! I still got that book Tofu gave us!! I'll read it!!
(BACK TO THE BATTLE)
Me: Was that Bobby just now? What do you think, EA?
EA: ZZzzZzzzZZzz
Me: Yeah. I think so.
EA: ZZZzzZZzzz
Me: Who're you calling a bitch?
(WE FOCUS OUTSIDE THE CAGE FOR ONCE)
Samoht: Just give up already!!! Damn piece of shit that crapped shit!
Thomas: ZZzzZZzzz
Samoht: Great! He got bored. I mean how? He's got all this great porn wrapped around him!!!
Samoht: I know!! He's immobile right now so he can't reach into his pants!!! At least I think so.
Akane: ZZZzzZzzz
Samoht: Perfect. She's asleep too. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
*Samoht drops Thomas and takes Akane over his shoulder*
(AT THE PICNIC SITE)
Bobby: Ok.. Let me see. Teleportation....
Bobby: AHA!! The teleportation charm. To get this charm, you must get this mysterious shard of glass that has not been found yet. People think this is only a myth but recently we have been getting signals from the coast. We're not sure who is even FIT to get it!
Bobby: Oh well. I guess I'm just lucky!! Heh!! Hey! Where's Thomas? And EA? AND TREVOR?? WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY GO???
(SOMEWHERE IN A FOXHOLE)
Ybbob: Hah hah!! I can see das doof man, Bobby!!
Ybbob: I'm ganna kick hish.... azh!!!! *calls a Panzer Division*
Ybbob: Hah hah hah hah!! Hitler das doooof!! *salute*
(Ybbob goes to the beach)
Bobby: Who're you?
Ybbob: Ish bin das zheneral Ybbob!!
Bobby: Oh yeah! You're that guy EA talked about!!!
Ybbob: You vill die now, vitch!! *takes out luger*
Bobby: OH SHIT!!! *ducks*
*BANG*
Bobby: Cmon this isn't funny!! You tried to kill me!!
Ybbob: Zat ish da point, doof!! Juz like Rovert tried tah kill Trevor!!
Bobby: And just like Samoht tried to kill Thomas. Yeah. I know.
Ybbob: Szee a pattern hkhere??
Bobby: What? You guys a pact or something?
Ybbob: VE ARE DA DISCHARMED!!!!! NYAH HKHAH HKHAH HKHAH!!
Bobby: .....
Ybbob: DIE!!!
*BANG*
Bobby: *ducks matrix style and at the same time teleports behind Ybbob*
Ybbob: Vhat da hkhell??
Bobby: *kicks Ybbob's ass*
Ybbob: AAAG!! Ya arzhe!!
Bobby: *teleports at Ybbob's front and kicks his dick*
Ybbob: AAGGG!! Da payn!!! *faints*
Bobby: I love this charm, man.
*Tanks arrive*
Bobby: Huh?
Captain: AAAA!!! You killed da zheneral ve vill destroy you, man ov evel!!!
Bobby: What? He's just not excercising his balls!!
Captain: HKHOW DARE YOU MAKHKE FUN OV OUR ZHENERAL!!! Ve vill kick your-
Tank operator: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Captain: Vait! I didn't shay-
2 tank operators: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!
Captain: VAIT!! ZHUT DA VUCK UP!!!
8 Tank operators: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Captain: ........
Every tank operator in the division: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!!
Captain: Vell iv you can't beat em, zhoin em!!! ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Bobby: What the hell are you talking about? Can't you say anything else?
Captain: I know... FOYAAAAAA!!!
*BOOOMM*
Bobby: Oh shit.
*!!!!KA-BLOOEY!!!!*
Bobby: *gets blown away* NOOOOOO!!!
Tank operator: Hay captan!! Din he look familiah??
Captain: Ah shet.
(BACK TO SAMOHT)
Samoht: Ha ha! I tied her up now! Ha ha!!
Samoht: Now to find another one!!!
(AT THE WOMEN'S SHOWER ROOM)
Miyu: *walking torwards the exit* I don't get it.
Miyu: Was that just Bobby I saw? Or did I eat too much soap again?
Miyu: Oh well! The past has passed! Heee heeeeee!!
Miyu: Huh?
Samoht: Who are you?
Miyu: I am your conscience. Whooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Samoht: Crazy lady. HEY!! I KNOW!! PORN MASK!!
Miyu: *gets face wrapped in porn* AAAHHHH!!!! *faints*
Samoht: Man I am good!! How do I do it???
(AT THE PORN CAGE...)
EA: ZZZZzzzZzzz
Me: The pill does work!! How do they make it so small?
EA: ZZzzZZzz
Me: Oh you're saying that now, EA???
EA: ZZzzZZzzzZZzz
Me: Hey!! I have scissors in my pocket! This is dangerous!!! MAN!!!
EA: ZZzz-
Me: What? I can cut a way out of here?
EA: ZZzzZz-
Me: Nice one!! *cuts magazines*
Me: I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! YEEEHAAOOO!!!
EA: *wakes up* Huh? Trevor!! What the?
Me: I give you..... FREEEEEEDOOOMMMMM!!!!
EA: Uhhh... he he he. YAY!
(AT THIS LIGHTHOUSE...)
Rovert: Well, Samoht gave me this heavy box. I wonder...
*Rovert opens the box*
Rovert: AAHHHH!! AKANE!!
Akane: SAMOHT!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!
Rovert: Uh oh. I guess Samoht still hates me for that underwear incident.
*following cannot be shown because of sheer violence*
*...but we're not showing it are we?? We're TELLING it!!*
*...but due to the flow of the story, let's change the location!*
(AT THIS ABANDONED WAREHOUSE)
Samoht: Hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Now for some good dirty fun!
Miyu: *wakes up* Huh?
Samoht: Hah ha!! Take off the damn suit, baby!
Miyu: NOOOO!! Who are you anyway?
Samoht: I am your conscience. Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Miyu: Stop that.
Samoht: Sorry. BUT TAKE IT OFF, WOMAN!!!
Miyu: NOOOOO!!! NEVER!!!!
Samoht: If you don't, I will um...........
Miyu: Do it yourself?
Samoht: No, no. That's too old. I need something more cool and evil.
Miyu: Ummm.....
Samoht: AAA!!! MY HEAD!!!
Miyu: Are you okay?
Samoht: HA HA!!! Got you!! *grabs her*
Miyu: AAAAHHHH!!!
Samoht: Man, I am sooooooooooooo good.
Miyu: *slap*
*!!! WHAPACK !!!*
Samoht: OW!! Why you... *grabs her again*
Miyu: HIIIYAAAAAA!!! LET GO OF ME!!!
Samoht: Now, now. Be a good girl and take it off.
Miyu: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
*wall explodes*
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Me: AAAAAAAAA!!! What the fuck are you doing to her??? Get away!!!
Miyu: Trevor!!! You did come for me!!!
Me: Heh heh. Ain't I great?
Samoht: You!!! I thought-
Me: Sorry, man. It will take more than just porn to stop me.
Samoht: Why you......
Me: Hey Samoht! I have a present for you!
Samoht: OOOOOOH! WHATWHATWHATWHAT???
Me: A pair of....
Samoht: *bambi eyes*
Miyu: Wow. He's even more stupider than I am. Hee hee!!!
Samoht: Yesyesyes??
Me: Scissors!!!
Samoht: Oh nonononononononononono!!!
(BACK TO WHERE BOBBY WAS)
Bobby: I can't move. My spine....
Bobby: But I can still move my hand. I know!! I'll get my "emergency" radio and call another panzer division!
Bobby: dot-dot-dot-dash-dot-dash
German: Vhat???
Bobby: I mean........ ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
German: Vhat??
Bobby: Ah well....... HELP!!! This is Bobby! I need help here now!
German: Ja wohl! (Yes sir!)
Bobby: NOW!!!
(A FEW MINUTES LATER)
Tank operator: ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Bobby: Great. Now get me some mould. My spine is broken.
(A FEW SURGERIES LATER...)
Bobby: Ahhhh I feel great. NOW YOU GUYS!!! Kill Ybbob's division!!!
Tank operators: *starts advancing* ACHTUNG!!! ACHTUNG!! Ja wohl!
The real Bobby: Hey! I am a member of fanfic dot net now!! Ha ha ha!!
The real Me: Hey readers! I told you he says "achtung panzer" a lot! Look at his profile! His penname is "Erwin Rommel".
The real EA: ZzzZzzz
The real Me: Dint wake you up, huh? Ah well. BACK TO THE STORY!!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.
(BACK TO YBBOB)
Ybbob: Vell, avter zheveral zhurgeries at da dik und da..... azh.
Captain: Ve are khkhappy ta zee you shtill alive!!
Ybbob: Vhat are you, shvul??
???: WHO DARE TREAD ON MY PICNIC SPOT??????
Ybbob: Hoo are yoo?
???: I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!!! A.K.A. Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, upperclassman.
Ybbob: Upperclazhman dis, vitch!! FOYAAAA!!
*BOOM*
Kuno: Die you fiendish contraption! *cuts the shell into half*
Ybbob: Vhat zhe heck? Iz it delayed??
Captain: Ummmmmmmmm..... Yah!!
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
Ybbob, Captain, and Kuno: *flies into the air* NOOOOO!!!
Bobby: Now if we just....
*!!!!!!!!!!!!CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Bobby: Well that's convenient.
Kuno: I will smite you, creature of evil!!!!!
Bobby: Easy there, Kuno. I'm not that guy you're after.
Kuno: I will smite you, creature of evil!!!!! DIE!!!
Bobby: Huh? What are you ta-
Kuno: *slash*
Bobby: *evade*
Kuno: It will be a fight to the death. And it will be I, Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, upperclassman, who will emerge victo-
Bobby: *disappear*
Kuno: -rious!!!
Bobby: *reappears behind Kuno and kicks him*
Kuno: YOWZA!!! HEY!
Ybbob: *wakes up*
Captain (good): HAY!!! ITZ BOBBY!!! PROTEKT HIM AT ALL KHKOSHTS!!
Tank operator (good): Ja wohl!! ACHTUNG!! ACHTUNG!!
Ybbob: No! Ish bin Ybbo- I mean yes!! Ish bin Bobby!! Protekhkt me from dat feend Bobby!!!
Captain (good):VHAAAAT??? ACHTUNG!!! ACHTUNG!!!
Captain: Vich vone's vich?
Ybbob: Ish bin Ybbob. Vut zhey dunt know dat, doo zhey?
Captain: Yoo akhre eevil. I khlike dat.
Bobby: Aww c'mon!! 1 against... 10. WAIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
Bobby: I'm the only one who speaks correct English here. Unlike you, Ybbob.
*SHOWDOWN*
Ybbob: NOOOOOOOO!!! ZHIT!!! DHAAAAAAAAKKK!! FOYAAA!!
*BOOOMM*
Kuno: It's that vile thing!!! *fails to slash shell and hits it instead*
*the shell bounces of the bokken and lands on Ybbob*
Ybbob: ZUNOFAVICH!!!!
*!!!KA-BLOOEY!!!*
Kuno: NO! My ally is dead because of my weakness! I have failed.
Bobby: *sweat drop* I ought to thank him... but nah.
Kuno: I will gladly die...
Kuno: *Gets his wooden sword and hits himself with it*
Kuno: Ow. OK!! I HAVE BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH!! NOW DIE!!
Bobby: Uh oh.
Kuno: *charges* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Bobby: Hey, cool! He's fighting me! He he.
Kuno: *gets kicked in the face*
Bobby: Huh?
Ranma: Don't start the party without me!
Kuno: AA!!! You are indeed EVIL!! You have joined forces with that vile Saotome!!!
Ranma: Just shut up. Psst. Use your other charm, Bobby.
Bobby: Huh? Oh. I get it.
Bobby: *disappears*
Ranma: Heh heh.
Kuno: *9 slashes*
Ranma: *dodges all except 1*
*TONK*
Ranma: *Gets knocked into the ocean*
Kuno: Ha ha ha. Justice is served. OW!! What the?
*punch*
Kuno: OW!! Who did that?
*choke*
Kuno: OOUULLFFFFFFFKKKK!!!
*makes funny face*
Kuno: I got you! *swing*
*TONK*
Bobby: *reappears* OW!!
Kuno: NOW I WILL DESTROY YOU!!! *slash*
Bobby: *teleports behind Kuno*
Kuno: WHOAWHOA!!! *falls into water*
Bobby: Heh. Justice has been shat.
Kuno: WHY YOU... OOOOHH!!! Usagi no onna!!! Why are you here? You must not be here! I am fighting the dangerous Ranma Saotome! You indeed love me so! You have come all the way to-
Onna-Ranma: *punch*
Kuno: *gets knocked into space* I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOUUUU!!!!
Onna-Ranma: Baka.
Bobby: Whoa!! Whoa!! Whoa with a capital...... W!
Onna-Ranma: Huh?
Bobby: I thought I'd never see this in real life.... but I did!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Onna-Ranma: ?????
Besa: Excuse me.
Onna-Ranma: Besa?
Besa: Where's the first aid kit? *faints*
Onna-Ranma: Oh boy.
(BACK TO ME)
Me: Hah hah! The great Samoht is defeated!!
Samoht: MY PORN!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Miyu: This sucks! The readers missed the whole showdown because of Bobby!!
Me: What the hell are you talking about?
Miyu: Umm... nothing.
Thomas: You know that-that-that.. THING you did!! That was really cool! Kinda like it came from a movie!!
EA: Yeah! That was really coooooll!
Me: Heh. Ain't I great?
The real Me: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Chapter end!!
The real Me: Get the sneak peek tape and play it!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah, Ric Flair.
-----------------------------------------
???: Sorry thar moit. I canut gaw when mah head bangin on boomshine there, mush!
Rovert: What the heck are you talking about?
Ybbob: Vlack zheep strikes egain!
???: Who're ye callin black shoip, damn nuttah? I oughtta go snip on there olyphant of yars.
Ybbob: Dezhiphering mezzage..... vailed.
---------------------------------------
The real Me: Make it quick. Close the lights!! I need rest after that long chapter.
The real Thomas: Yeah.
*RING RING*
The real Bobby: Hello?
Miyu: Hello..... Bobby.
The real Bobby: Yes?
Miyu: You know this was co-written by you, right?
The real Bobby: Yes?
Miyu: BECAUSE OF THAT, WE MISSED THE BIG SHOWDOWN!!!
The real Bobby: Trevor's the one who's typing!
Miyu: Ok. Umm... can I like... talk to him?
The real Bobby: Ok. Just a sec.
*door busts open*
The real Besa: DAMM CAAPASS!!! Pay da ma krub foo!
The real Bobby: Can you call again? Besa shot someone again.
Miyu: Wait! I-
The real Bobby: *puts down phone*
The real Besa: Wat em ah gunna doo, yo? Ah got wunted lavahl 6!!
The real Bobby: I know. Surrender yourself.
The real Besa: Yo foo!
The real Bobby: Or, get your controller and press r1 r1 o r2 up down up down up down.
The real Besa: Dis ain't GTA Vice City™, foo!
The real Bobby: I have an idea.
*Bobby goes out of frat house*
The real Bobby: Hey! Besa's not here so scram!!
Policeman: Ok. *leaves*
The real Bobby: Problem solved, Besa.
The real Besa: Yo!! Dat wuz kul yo!!
The real Bobby: Oh wait! He's over here!
Policeman: Where?
The real Bobby: Here.
Policeman: AHA!!
*policeman arrests The real Besa*
The real Besa: SSHIIIAAAATTT!! Ah will get yo fur dis, foo!!
The real Me: Uh oh. THOMAS!! Press the button, would you?
The real EA: I'll do it!!!
The real Me: WAIT!! Not y-
*OFF THE AIR*