yeeek! finally an update! ^_^ did everyone miss meh? awww, i hope O.o;;;
anyway, just so you all know, this chapter was inspired by a true story!!!
im soooo sorry it took so long to update, but I had no inspiration! O.o;;
anyway.....that is the second time ive begun a sentence with anyway.....ACK I SAID IT AGAIN!
I SAID ANYWAY 3 TIMES! AHHH FOUR!
O.o;
blob: ON WITH THE STOREEEEE!
--
Now, once upon a time there lived a boy named Riku. Rikus life began as a small infant, who was brought
in the world we know as world screaming,naked,bloody,and with white hair. except for not. you see, rumor has it
that Riku was not REALLY born from a vaginal crevice like the rest of us. You see, it is said that he was ACTUALLY
bred from a SEA TURTLE, who washed up on the shore of the beach and died. luckily, a family of clams found him and
raised him. Like George of the Jungle. Except for it would be Riku of the Island. except for Riku was not Riku of the Island,
as he was actually born from something I dont give a shit about, because I just made up that whole shit turtle thing.
But alas, someday, SOMEDAY, we shall come across the REAL Riku of the Island...
except for n-
A girl who might be a girl but were not really saying was suddenly hit in the head with a blitzball, and washed away by
the tyed. tied. td. tyde. yeah, thats it. ^-^
Now, Riku, as we all know, was always cool,calm and collected, as the little booklet that comes with the game says,
so....um....we dont know things about him. except for he is continually harrassed by a CERTAIN...* side glance at A CERTAIN
SOMEBODY* crazy gay insane 14-year old boy.
So, naturally, noone knew of Rikus secret fetish for Jallepeno Cream. At least thats what i think its called.
Now, Riku was an islander. and being an islander meant living on an island. which meant it was rare that he got his
jallepeno cream. but, alas, Riku discovered, that on dark foggy nights when the tyed. tied. t- OH SCREW IT! part of the sea
that washed up on shore according to the silver glowing ball of CHEESE in the sky, was low, a magical ( or perhaps not?)
place called Julio B's appeared on the island. When this happened, Riku could enter the magical ( or perhaps EVIL? O.o)
restraunt and eat the forbidden yet sweet necter of life to him known as sora. er...i mean jallepeno cream.
It so happens that the author began this peticular sentence ( or paragraph DUN DUN DUN ) with It because the last one began
with so, but thats off topic, isnt it? This night was one of the rare nights when the place that um...we were talking about
before appeared. so Riku was ALLLLLL excited, and entered his beloved restraunt and ordered what he cravvvved more than
the milk from his mothers teat O.o;;; ( where did THAT come from? * points to a reader* IT CAME FROM YOU!)
Time passed, and um............lets insert Sora?
yeah, so Sora was in his room, writing in a notebook. or WAS IT!?
Upon closer inspection, using our invisible monster perspective, the notebook was filled with stick people who
had strange masses of spikes emerging from the lower region of their heads. hearts surrounded the 'people' and upon
some sort of massive squinting of the eyes action, we could see that sora was writing...HAIKUS??
lets take a gander. oh wait, we dont have to! this is a fanfiction, so ill just do THIS! * begins to type *
hmm, Sora said, or um...noised...? biting the eraser on his pencil, and staring at the page.
" somethings missing...oh wait! I know!" the boy said, eyes lighting up and he quickly scribbled something on the page
before tossing his pencil to the side, and jumping off his bed. the sheets slipped off him, to reveal Sora wearing
nothing but......PAJAMAS! O.o
Sora cleared his throat, taking on an expression which we in the buisness like to call, ' ciggerette burns' O.o;;
blah. too much Tyler Durden. anyway, he cleared his throat an began to read what we can only hope is what was written in the
notebook.
" Riku! Oh Riku! I like you.
I like your hair.
and your puffy pants!
Riku! Oh Riku! I love you! "
Sora cackled to himself and hugged the notebook to his chest, not aware that neither he nor the author
had not actually written a haiku,because it had too many syllables, but some weird thingy that was spawned from sin.
hey....we need to put Tidus in the story sometime.
Meanwhile, Tidus was sleeping. Or playing blitzball. noone could tell the difference even if they wanted to.
there we go. you all need that. oh yes, now, i suppose your all wondering what happened to the pencil that Sora had so
carlessly tossed aside as he sprang from his bed? bed....bread....heehee....
well, it flew out his window, and twirled in the air in a beautiful slow motion like thingy that im picturing in my head,
and jabbed Kairi, who was wearing a body cast due to the events that happened in our last chapter, in the eye.
NOONE HEARD HER SCREAM!
Meanwhile, Riku was sitting back in his chair and sighing happily. he was full! but wait...something was amiss....
THERE WAS STILL CREAM ON HIS PLATE! Riku stared at the object of his desires, the jallepeno cream, feeling rather disoriented.
he was full...he couldnt possibly eat that...but....it was.......JALLEPENO CREAM!?
frustrated, Riku looked around the restraunt, like a horse. or possibly......A SEA TURTLE?!?
he saw a waiter passing by his table, and snatched the poor mans apron.
" s-s-si, senioritta Riku? " the startled man asked, knowing all to well the fury the white haired english speaker
could have.......
* this is were we'd go into a flashback, but um, no. lets just say, um.. yeah *
now Riku, who was always challenged with the fact that he could not speak spanish, and every god-damned-thingy in this place
was spanish, was at a loss.
" um......si.......er.." si, as it goes, is the only word Riku knew in spanish. he pointed at the jallepeno cream on his plate.
the spaniard. HA! ive always wanted to use that word...the spaniard blinked, saying something in spanish which meant
" do you wish for a box, miss Riku? " but we'll just do it that way cuz my spanish is limited too.
Riku decided to gamble, not understanding a word the waiter had said. " si....um...si sis sisisisi, si si sisi si si."
he said, finishing his transaction with a proud grin.
Riku put the cream in the box, which had been hastily delivered by the waiter, who had been so freaked out he almost cried.
OR he TRIED to put the cream in the box. " AHHH!" Riku hissed impatiently, as the cream would NOT go in the damned box.
it clung to his knife and he was forced to scrape it slopilly of on the edge of the carry out box.
--
Almost a weeklater, Riku felt a pang of hunger. " ahh... i neeeeed food...."
raiding the fridge, he was suprised to find a white box. " huh?" he wondered, pulling the box out and blinking all
Riku-like. damn i love when he does that, dont you?
he opened the box, wondering what it was, and almost screamed with joy. he had forgotten all about this!
happily, he wiped off the closest peice of it and stuck his finger in his mouth, waiting to savor the deleiciousness.
unfortunatly, when Riku had slopilly scrapped it off into a edge of the box, some of it had smeared on the outside of the box,
away from the saftey of it lid and stuff. this had hardened or SOMETHING over the almost-a-weeks time it had spent
in the depths of the boys fridge. And unfortunatly, this was what Riku scraped off an put in his mouth.
An odd look came over Rikus face. " PTOO!" he said in a disgusted gasp, spitting out the vile thing once called food.
but that was not the end..." gah!" said Riku, doing something similar to biting his bottom lip with only his upper teeth.
" its....stuck...." he tried to flick the substance off with his tounge, but with no avail , the crusted horror
remained lodged in the area behind Rikus two front teeth.
Paniking, Riku did what any strange albino islander boy would do...
he ran out of his house, screaming.
--
TO BE CONTINUED
--
eep...im so sorry everyone, but i really have to go and i want to post this...this will prolly be the only 2 parter
in the fic. dont worry though, expect the second part to come out very soon, prolly tomorrow, or possibly even tonight!
just wanted to post...
oh yeah, I do not own Kingdom Hearts, haiku poems, jallepeno cream, or anything else, except for the story and its
incredibly pointless idea.
lawyers: good * implode *
Aros: O.O ........
* hands him the mop * here ya go, hun.
Aros:....i CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! * pulls out a pistol and shoots himself in the head *
O_O;;;
Aros: X-X * after 2 seconds comes out of the floor *
O.o;;;;; um.....EXCUSE YOU?
Aros: O.o what the......* smacks his forhead * oh yeah. im a heartless. i forgot.
awww....Aros, your not heartless. ^-^
Aros:........* starts to cry and mop up the lawyers *
NOTE: KIDS, SUICIDE IS NO LAUGHING MATTER. YOU WILL NOT COME OUT OF THE FLOOR IF YOU SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD.
- this program brought to you by -
* owl hooting *
.com
O.o;;; EXCEPT FOR N- * gets hit with a blitzball *
anyway, just so you all know, this chapter was inspired by a true story!!!
im soooo sorry it took so long to update, but I had no inspiration! O.o;;
anyway.....that is the second time ive begun a sentence with anyway.....ACK I SAID IT AGAIN!
I SAID ANYWAY 3 TIMES! AHHH FOUR!
O.o;
blob: ON WITH THE STOREEEEE!
--
Now, once upon a time there lived a boy named Riku. Rikus life began as a small infant, who was brought
in the world we know as world screaming,naked,bloody,and with white hair. except for not. you see, rumor has it
that Riku was not REALLY born from a vaginal crevice like the rest of us. You see, it is said that he was ACTUALLY
bred from a SEA TURTLE, who washed up on the shore of the beach and died. luckily, a family of clams found him and
raised him. Like George of the Jungle. Except for it would be Riku of the Island. except for Riku was not Riku of the Island,
as he was actually born from something I dont give a shit about, because I just made up that whole shit turtle thing.
But alas, someday, SOMEDAY, we shall come across the REAL Riku of the Island...
except for n-
A girl who might be a girl but were not really saying was suddenly hit in the head with a blitzball, and washed away by
the tyed. tied. td. tyde. yeah, thats it. ^-^
Now, Riku, as we all know, was always cool,calm and collected, as the little booklet that comes with the game says,
so....um....we dont know things about him. except for he is continually harrassed by a CERTAIN...* side glance at A CERTAIN
SOMEBODY* crazy gay insane 14-year old boy.
So, naturally, noone knew of Rikus secret fetish for Jallepeno Cream. At least thats what i think its called.
Now, Riku was an islander. and being an islander meant living on an island. which meant it was rare that he got his
jallepeno cream. but, alas, Riku discovered, that on dark foggy nights when the tyed. tied. t- OH SCREW IT! part of the sea
that washed up on shore according to the silver glowing ball of CHEESE in the sky, was low, a magical ( or perhaps not?)
place called Julio B's appeared on the island. When this happened, Riku could enter the magical ( or perhaps EVIL? O.o)
restraunt and eat the forbidden yet sweet necter of life to him known as sora. er...i mean jallepeno cream.
It so happens that the author began this peticular sentence ( or paragraph DUN DUN DUN ) with It because the last one began
with so, but thats off topic, isnt it? This night was one of the rare nights when the place that um...we were talking about
before appeared. so Riku was ALLLLLL excited, and entered his beloved restraunt and ordered what he cravvvved more than
the milk from his mothers teat O.o;;; ( where did THAT come from? * points to a reader* IT CAME FROM YOU!)
Time passed, and um............lets insert Sora?
yeah, so Sora was in his room, writing in a notebook. or WAS IT!?
Upon closer inspection, using our invisible monster perspective, the notebook was filled with stick people who
had strange masses of spikes emerging from the lower region of their heads. hearts surrounded the 'people' and upon
some sort of massive squinting of the eyes action, we could see that sora was writing...HAIKUS??
lets take a gander. oh wait, we dont have to! this is a fanfiction, so ill just do THIS! * begins to type *
hmm, Sora said, or um...noised...? biting the eraser on his pencil, and staring at the page.
" somethings missing...oh wait! I know!" the boy said, eyes lighting up and he quickly scribbled something on the page
before tossing his pencil to the side, and jumping off his bed. the sheets slipped off him, to reveal Sora wearing
nothing but......PAJAMAS! O.o
Sora cleared his throat, taking on an expression which we in the buisness like to call, ' ciggerette burns' O.o;;
blah. too much Tyler Durden. anyway, he cleared his throat an began to read what we can only hope is what was written in the
notebook.
" Riku! Oh Riku! I like you.
I like your hair.
and your puffy pants!
Riku! Oh Riku! I love you! "
Sora cackled to himself and hugged the notebook to his chest, not aware that neither he nor the author
had not actually written a haiku,because it had too many syllables, but some weird thingy that was spawned from sin.
hey....we need to put Tidus in the story sometime.
Meanwhile, Tidus was sleeping. Or playing blitzball. noone could tell the difference even if they wanted to.
there we go. you all need that. oh yes, now, i suppose your all wondering what happened to the pencil that Sora had so
carlessly tossed aside as he sprang from his bed? bed....bread....heehee....
well, it flew out his window, and twirled in the air in a beautiful slow motion like thingy that im picturing in my head,
and jabbed Kairi, who was wearing a body cast due to the events that happened in our last chapter, in the eye.
NOONE HEARD HER SCREAM!
Meanwhile, Riku was sitting back in his chair and sighing happily. he was full! but wait...something was amiss....
THERE WAS STILL CREAM ON HIS PLATE! Riku stared at the object of his desires, the jallepeno cream, feeling rather disoriented.
he was full...he couldnt possibly eat that...but....it was.......JALLEPENO CREAM!?
frustrated, Riku looked around the restraunt, like a horse. or possibly......A SEA TURTLE?!?
he saw a waiter passing by his table, and snatched the poor mans apron.
" s-s-si, senioritta Riku? " the startled man asked, knowing all to well the fury the white haired english speaker
could have.......
* this is were we'd go into a flashback, but um, no. lets just say, um.. yeah *
now Riku, who was always challenged with the fact that he could not speak spanish, and every god-damned-thingy in this place
was spanish, was at a loss.
" um......si.......er.." si, as it goes, is the only word Riku knew in spanish. he pointed at the jallepeno cream on his plate.
the spaniard. HA! ive always wanted to use that word...the spaniard blinked, saying something in spanish which meant
" do you wish for a box, miss Riku? " but we'll just do it that way cuz my spanish is limited too.
Riku decided to gamble, not understanding a word the waiter had said. " si....um...si sis sisisisi, si si sisi si si."
he said, finishing his transaction with a proud grin.
Riku put the cream in the box, which had been hastily delivered by the waiter, who had been so freaked out he almost cried.
OR he TRIED to put the cream in the box. " AHHH!" Riku hissed impatiently, as the cream would NOT go in the damned box.
it clung to his knife and he was forced to scrape it slopilly of on the edge of the carry out box.
--
Almost a weeklater, Riku felt a pang of hunger. " ahh... i neeeeed food...."
raiding the fridge, he was suprised to find a white box. " huh?" he wondered, pulling the box out and blinking all
Riku-like. damn i love when he does that, dont you?
he opened the box, wondering what it was, and almost screamed with joy. he had forgotten all about this!
happily, he wiped off the closest peice of it and stuck his finger in his mouth, waiting to savor the deleiciousness.
unfortunatly, when Riku had slopilly scrapped it off into a edge of the box, some of it had smeared on the outside of the box,
away from the saftey of it lid and stuff. this had hardened or SOMETHING over the almost-a-weeks time it had spent
in the depths of the boys fridge. And unfortunatly, this was what Riku scraped off an put in his mouth.
An odd look came over Rikus face. " PTOO!" he said in a disgusted gasp, spitting out the vile thing once called food.
but that was not the end..." gah!" said Riku, doing something similar to biting his bottom lip with only his upper teeth.
" its....stuck...." he tried to flick the substance off with his tounge, but with no avail , the crusted horror
remained lodged in the area behind Rikus two front teeth.
Paniking, Riku did what any strange albino islander boy would do...
he ran out of his house, screaming.
--
TO BE CONTINUED
--
eep...im so sorry everyone, but i really have to go and i want to post this...this will prolly be the only 2 parter
in the fic. dont worry though, expect the second part to come out very soon, prolly tomorrow, or possibly even tonight!
just wanted to post...
oh yeah, I do not own Kingdom Hearts, haiku poems, jallepeno cream, or anything else, except for the story and its
incredibly pointless idea.
lawyers: good * implode *
Aros: O.O ........
* hands him the mop * here ya go, hun.
Aros:....i CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! * pulls out a pistol and shoots himself in the head *
O_O;;;
Aros: X-X * after 2 seconds comes out of the floor *
O.o;;;;; um.....EXCUSE YOU?
Aros: O.o what the......* smacks his forhead * oh yeah. im a heartless. i forgot.
awww....Aros, your not heartless. ^-^
Aros:........* starts to cry and mop up the lawyers *
NOTE: KIDS, SUICIDE IS NO LAUGHING MATTER. YOU WILL NOT COME OUT OF THE FLOOR IF YOU SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD.
- this program brought to you by -
* owl hooting *
.com
O.o;;; EXCEPT FOR N- * gets hit with a blitzball *