Important note: Hey 'Cool Guy'. Thank you very much for reading and
reviewing this fic. And THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for those little commentaries
on EA. Ha ha. BTW, every 'Charmed' member is real except for the bad guys
k? And I think I can put you in chapter 14. Can I put you as a Chinese
character? This chapter has already been planned out so be patient guys!
I'm not working on this fic 24/7. I also need to work on Optimum Arsenal,
my rpg game. And about the lemons? Umm... I'm too weak-hearted to make one.
I don't know how to make one in the first place. I'm not even sure if this
fic should be R. Well... if you want lemons, EA's fic is coming here to
fanfiction.net real soon so expect lemons especially with me in them. (I am
still scared about that part)
Well, sorry I haven't updated this much before. Well EA, please stop reviewing nonsense. I'm completely discouraged and I'm not sure if I can continue this fic or not. And really EA. My fic doesen't suck. You just like to annoy me. Well guess what? I am annoyed so stop it already or I'll remove all your reviews. I have authority in this fic and if I say "review" me, DO IT RIGHT!!! If you want to bug some people, have a go at the guys at www.fictionpress.com. You can submit your "Lord of Their Flies" there.
PS: Hey guys, don't reveal much about my/your personal life here on fanfiction.net please!!! (Example: my dandruff and Acuña)
Disclaimer: I don't own crap. Blah blah blah..... Author's note: REVIEW!! At least READ the damn fic! Look at 'Cool Guy' here! He rox!
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop
Chapter 13: Aseb Brings the House Down
The real Me: Are you sure its legal?
The real EA: I'm sure.
The real Bobby: Hey, assholes. The camera is on.
The real Me: Oh shit.
The real EA: Hello! Welcome back readers! If there are any readers.
The real Me: This story needs more reviews.
The real Thomas: Hey! The computer is acting funny.
Stratikeo: Hahahahaha. //SIGN.
The real Thomas: GUYS!! There's a virus! SHIT! The porno!!!
The real Me: What porno? I didn't allow porno here in the frat.
The real Thomas: Porno? I meant portfolio! Yeah! Trevor's chapter portfolio.
The real Me: Oh c'mon Thomas. I know what you said.
The real Thomas: Shit.
The real Bobby: Just play the damn tape already!
*BACK TO THE STORY*
Me: Zzzzzzz.
Thomas: WAAAAAAAAAAKEEE!! UUUPPP! It's a BYOOOOO-
*Thomas notices something zip by*
Thomas: ....teefool day? Who was that?
Thomas: *kicks the air*
Bobby: *becomes visible again* OWW! You asshole!
Thomas: Heh.
Well things are going just fine at the Tendo Dojo... JUST FINE? BOOOOOORING! BRING ON THE PORNO!
The real Me: PORNO???
Oh. I mean LET'S FOCUS SOMEWHERE ELSE!!
(Somewhere in a secluded forest)
Ryoga: Oh Akane. Its been weeks maybe months since the last time I've seen you.
The real EA: Let me get this straight. Ryoga was lost for 9 chapters?
The real Me: Right.
The real Besa: *busts through the door*
The real Me: You're late again.
The real Besa: Wassup mah niggas? Sorry I's late, summ damn white biatch slowed meh down at da sidewalk. For real, dawg. Shit! After all dat cammashin in the previous chappie, its about time we all met again in the shithauz.
The real Me: For the last time, Besa. FRAT HOUSE.
The real Besa: Shut da fuck up, asshowe!
The real Me: Hey Thomas. GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK!!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.
*BACK TO THE STORY*
Ryoga: I'm hopelessly lost... forever. I wonder if I will ever find you again... Akane.
*Ryoga stumbles upon a lighthouse*
Ryoga: A lighthouse... maybe someone can give me directions.
*Ryoga knocks*
Ryoga: Hello? Anyone home?
Ybbob: Scheisse! Komren nicht raus die huren! (Shit! Get the fuck out bitch!)
Ryoga: Huh?
Samoht: Hey Ybbob! Did you read that book again!
Ybbob: Khknow I know khkow ta kers in German.
Ryoga: Look, I need directions and somewhere to stay.
Samoht: Well what can you do for us?
Ryoga: I am really good in martial arts.
Samoht: Pure talent huh?
Ybbob: Halts maul! Halt deine fresse brauch keine hilfe, das huren! (Shut up! Leave us the fuck alone, we don't need your stinking help, bitch!)
Ryoga: Ok.... I take that as a yes?
Ybbob: Scheisse lucker!!! (You lucky piece of shit!!!)
Samoht: Just a second. BOOOOOSSSS!!!
Rovert: WHAT?? I'm bizzy!
Samoht: We got a visitor?
Rovert: *goes to the door* Who is it? Another whore selling cookies?
Rovert and Ryoga: YOU AGAIN!!!
Samoht: Do you know each other?
Rovert: I saw him at the beach.
Rovert: Well, we haven't introduced yet.
Ryoga: I'm Ryoga Hibiki.
Rovert: I'm Rovert........um... NICE TA MEET YA!!!!
(MEANWHILE AT THE TENDO HOUSEHOLD)
Bobby: Well... its SUNDAY!! The weekend is over. Ehhh.
Thomas: Yeah it sucks.
Besa: ZzzzZzzzz
Thomas: The heat is really getting to us eh, Bobby?
Bobby: Yep.
Thomas: What's Trevor doin with Ranma?
Bobby: Probably eatin' shit or something.
Ranma: OK... JUST STAY STILL!!!
Me: Alright already, just shut the fuck up!
Ranma: ....There has to be a way to topple you over.
Me: That's gonna be impossible.
Ranma: Hmmm....
Bobby: Well, where's EA anyways?
Thomas: I think he died.
(SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE)
EA: OHHHH!!! Sweeeetooo!!!
Happosai: OHHHH!!! Sweeeetooo!!!
EA: What a haul!
Happosai: What a haul!
Girls: AAHHH!! GET BACK HERE, PERVERTS!!!
(BACK TO BOBBY)
Bobby: I never knew he would stoop that low. Hahah, fucker.
Thomas: Hey Besa, wake up.
Besa: HEY!! I AM SLEEPING, BITCH!!!
Thomas: Right right. Just don't pull the lightning good-ass trick again.
As if things can't get anymore boring at the Tendo Dojo, let's forget the assholes and focus on our little friend, RYOGA!!!
(AT THE DISCHARMED HQ)
Rovert: As you can see, we are armed with the latest in destructive weapon technology.
Ryoga: Like this slingshot? *points to slingshot*
Rovert: Ooookay, maybe not the latest.
Ryoga: ....
Rovert: But, we are armed with our CHARMS... right fellas?
The other guys: RIGHT!!
Ryoga: Quite a bunch you got here.
Rovert: Yeah, evil is our essence.
Ryoga: EVIL???
Rovert: Whoops, I mean..... um... EGGS!!! YEAH!!
Ryoga: ???
Rovert: We like eating eggs and bacon for breakfast!! Heheh.
Ryoga: Oh.
Rovert: *thinking* Wow.. this guy is one... big.. dumbass.
Ryoga: *thinking* Wow.. this guy is one... big.. dumbass.
Ybbob: Khkey, arschloc, vanna have sum fodka?
Rovert: Hey Ybbob! I thought you were German!
Ybbob: Oh kheh, kheh, oopz.
*someone busts the door open*
AE: Yo, moits, good mownin!
Ryoga: And who is this?
Rovert: That's just AE. The asshole.
Ybbob: Yah!! ACHTUNG!! AE ISH AN AZHHOLE!!!
AE: What the devil? Ybbob, you bloody prick!!! *stare*
Ybbob: Muzt reshisht, mind kontrul!!
*Ybbob picks up radio*
Ybbob: ACHTUNG, ACHTUNG!! AZHHOLE! AZHHOLE!
Sniper: Ja wohl!
*sniper aims at AE's head*
Ybbob: Nyakh khakh khahk!
AE: What the bloody hell is that?
AE: ....
AE: Eohhh, SHIT!! A snipah!!!
Ybbob: Khnow you vill die, svhul!!!
AE: Now you don't you prick!!! *stares at the sniper*
Sniper: AAHHHH!!! You vill pay!! *shoots himself in the process*
*BANG*
AE: HAH HAH! That you shows you to show meh a wallaby WITH the huma today. Now Ybbob, just shut the fuck up, prick or I will take my sock puppet and shove it down your bloody neck!!!!
Ybbob: Okhay, man. You're das fuhrer!
Rovert: .....okay.
Ryoga: *scratches head*
Rovert: *thinking* I don't know why these fucking morons are like this everyday. Geez, what shitheads.
AE: Ahh, ay boss? How about say, mush here joined us eh? A bloody good idea eh?
Ryoga: Actually, I just wanted a place to stay.
Rovert: Right, right Ryoga. Why don't you go to Samoht downstairs.
Ryoga: Oh okay. *goes downstairs*
Rovert: *looking innocent*
*Ryoga is already downstairs*
Rovert: *Looks at AE and Ybbob in a scary face*
AE: Uh... moit? Is there something in your nose?
Rovert: SHUT UP, FUCKS!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ALMOST DID????
Ybbob: .....um Arshhole khkilled a znipar?
Rovert: WRONG!!!
AE: Uhhh.... moit, got a wallaby in your head?
Rovert: SHUT UP!!! Look, I have been watching this guy Ryoga for days now. As you know one of our enemies is that asshole, Ranma Saotome! For all I know, he might be the only one who could defeat him. The problem is, HE IS SOOOO FUCKIN NOBLE!!! So don't do any evil stuff for now..... OR I'LL FUCKIN KILL YA!!!!
AE and Ybbob: ........ RIGHT BOSS!!!
Rovert: Good. Its nice to know I'm good enough to be understood by dumbasses.
AE: Yo, boss? How about the bloody fuckin stupid things Samoht does?
Rovert: S-S-S-S-SAMOHT????
*Rovert runs down to the first floor*
(IN THE KITCHEN....)
Ryoga: Is there anything to eat here?
Samoht: Hey Ryoga!
Ryoga: Oh, Samoht.
Samoht: Hey, man I need a big big favor.
Ryoga: What?
Samoht: I need some more porno. My powers are getting weaker.
Ryoga: PORNOGRAPHY???? Never!!! My heart is too pure, too noble!!!
Samoht: Right, right. Just like the others. PORN MASK!!!!
*A magazine covers Ryoga's face*
Ryoga: MMFFFF!!!!
Samoht: You will do everything I say.....
Ryoga: .....
Samoht: GET ME SOME PORNO YOU FUCKIN LOSER!!!!
*SCREEN SHUTS OFF*
The real Thomas: What the fuck? *presses all the buttons*
The real Me: THOMAAAAASS!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO????
The real Thomas: Nothing!!! The damn thing shut off by itself!!!
The real EA: Ok.. we're fuckin screwed.
The real Me: Just a sec.
The real EA: Huh?
The real Me: BOBBY!!! COME OVER HERE!!!
The real Bobby: Yeah?
The real Me: Where's Besa?
The real Bobby: He's in the back room.... where the wires are.
The real Bobby: I heard a thump and a loud scream and some electricity going off....
The real Me: I knew it. Hey Thomas? I'll take care of it here. Go get Besa, give him some ice, and fix the damn wires will ya?
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.
*Thomas goes to the back room*
The real Me: Soooo, EA. Got any porn?
The real EA: *sweating* Porn? I don't know what you're talking about!!!
The real Me: Then why is there a virus called Stratikeo infecting our precious computer?
Stratikeo: KILL KILL KILL THE BYTES!!! HA HA HA HA!! //SIGN
The real EA: *sweating* Umm... eh.. uh... ASK BOBBY!!!
The real Bobby: Don't look at me man.
The real Thomas: OK!!! ITS FIXED!!!!
The real Me: Okay. Let's see the real culprit.
*I surf all the folders up to Bobby's*
The real Me: WHAT IS THIS??? I see some dirty stuff in Bobby's folder!!!!
The real Bobby: Whaaaaaaattttt????
The real Me: Tsk tsk tsk. I can't believe you, Bobby.
The real Bobby: WAIIIIITTT!!! Look at the filename!!!!
The real Me: Huh?
The real Bobby: Read it!!
The real me: It says, EA.jpg!!!!
The real EA: Oh shit.
The real Me: IS THIS YOUUUURRSSS!????
The real EA: No! No! No!
The real Bobby: Look at the file properties!!
The real Me: Yeah so?
The real EA: WHAAAA???? It says that the author is.... YOU!!
The real Me: MEEEEE?????
The real Bobby: Geez Trevor. You're the one who prohibited porn in the first place. We are soooooo disappointed. Ha ha ha ha ha!
The real Me: But-but-but-but....
The real Bobby: Halts maul, huren!!!
The real Me: You really hurt me there, Bobby.
The real EA: WAIT!!! LOOOOOK!!!
The real Me: What?
The real EA: It says, "Mass-mailing picture. Generator: Stratikeo"
The real Me: So the virus made it after all!
The real Bobby: Damn this life, man.
The real Me: This is shit.
The real EA: Fuck it.
The real Thomas: WAZZUP GUYS??? I'M BACK!!
The real Me: ....
The real EA: ....
The real Bobby: ....
The real Thomas: Well, I'll take that as a "Thank You".
The real Besa: YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO!
The real Thomas: Right. Back to the story people!!!
The real EA: Fuck you Stratikeo.
The real Thomas: Fuck you too EA. Fuck you too.
(BACK TO THE STORY)
Ryoga: Yes sir!
Rovert: SAMOHT, YOU DICK!!!
Samoht: Eh?
Rovert: Bring him out of the trance, dammit! NOW!!!
Samoht: Right, okay, bitch.
Rovert: YOU ASSHOLE!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!
Samoht: Oh, shit.
Rovert: From the deepest depths of the hellish abyss....
Samoht: SHIT!!!
Ryoga: Huh? Rovert?
Rovert: I summon...... THE ULTIMATE POWER!!!
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!*
Samoht: NOOOOO!!!! HUH????
Ryoga: What?
Samoht: What the hell is this, dude? Cheese powder?????
Rovert: The special discharmed attack "CHEESE BOMB".
Samoht: Oh. Well it wont work again, man.
Rovert: YAAAAAAHHHH!! *blast*
*Samoht gets blasted out of the lighthouse*
Samoht: YOU DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! *gets blown into space*
Ryoga: O_o
Rovert: Okay, Ryoga. Where were we?
Ryoga: I'm hungry.
Rovert: Okay you can help yourself to some peanuts and pop.
Ryoga: Then again... maybe not.
Ybbob: ROFERKHKT!!! TIME FOR DA MEETENG!!!
Rovert: Just a second, Ryoga.
(Upstairs)
AE: Alright moits, we got Ryoga here, so now what, mush?
Rovert: I'm thinking.
Ybbob: Ve're vaiting!!
Rovert: Okay... first AE. Make him beat that Saotome.
AE: Right.
Rovert: That guy Ranma can be a real pain in the ass so we need him out.
Ybbob: Und then, vhat nekskt?
Rovert: Then we'll kill Trevor and the others!
Samoht: Sounds simple enough. Thomas is no match for my porn techniques.
Rovert: And Trevor won't be able to block my dark powers anymore!
Ybbob: Bobby's panzah diffision vill be deztroyd!!
AE: Yeah moit. And EA's bloody head will be bleedin'!
Samoht: Hey Rovert... we have one problem....
Rovert: What?
Samoht: What about Besa?
Rovert: *slaps head* Oh shit. The lightning good-ass always makes the best out of us.
Samoht: Shouldn't we call Aseb?
Rovert: THAT GUY??? ASEB???? THE WET FART????
AE: HA HA HA!! Good one moit!
Rovert: Well... *snicker* we don't have a choice.
*Rovert goes to the phone and dials 1908-ILOV-EPIE*
Rovert: Its ringing!!!
Ybbob: *snickers*
AE: Haha, nice one moit.
???: YALLO? Welcome to the wonderful house of Aseb! Aseb speaking!
Rovert: *snickers* Hey, asshole!
Aseb: I am sorry but my ears would like to stay virgin, thank you!!!
Rovert: You don't remember me?
Aseb: Who are you, sir?
Rovert: Its Rovert!!!
Aseb: ROVERT??? It really is you! Oh my gosh! You... like.... never call me!! Not even once!!! Ever since that birthday cake incident!
Rovert: Well I did now.
Aseb: Hello, my bestest friend in the whooooole world!!!
Rovert: ALRIGHT! I GET IT ALREADY!!!
Aseb: So how's the protagonist killing thing going?
Rovert: We can't survive without you man.... we need your ice powers.
Aseb: Oh you big silly puppy, you!
Rovert: Would you please... PLEASE.. STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!
Samoht: Hey, AE. I bet Rovert got called a big silly puppy again.
Rovert: NYAAAAARRGHH!! *blast*
Samoht: Oh shit not agai-
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!*
Samoht: IM GONNA GET YOU BACK YOU DICKHEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!! *flies into the sky*
Aseb: Oh, Rovert! I just heard an explosion! Did you blast my other bestest friend in the whole wide world, Samoht??
Rovert: Umm... no. There was dynamite outside the lighthouse.
Aseb: So you need my help right? Friend?
Rovert: YES I DO!!!!
Aseb: I am gonna go over there now, ok?
Rovert: OK! BYE!!! *puts down phone*
Aseb: ..... don't forget to take your constipation medicine, Rovert!
Rovert: ...... Guys...
Ybbob: Vhat ish it?
Rovert: I am REALLY SORRY for inviting Aseb over.
AE: That's alright, moit. We can play tricks on him like we did on the old days.
Rovert: Yeah. Maybe we can have some fun while he's here. *snicker*
(OUTSIDE THE LIGHTHOUSE)
Ryoga: Hmm....
Samoht: Hey, help me will ya, man?
Ryoga: *steps on Samoht's head*
Samoht: Ooff! *becomes unconscious*
Ryoga: That teaches you to wrap my face in visual profanity.
*Ryoga goes back to the lighthouse*
Rovert: Sorry for the long wait there, Ryoga!
Ryoga: Don't worry. Samoht is out cold though.
Rovert: Ryoga, you did us all a big favor.
Rovert: Hey Ryoga. Here's a map to the Tendo Dojo. When you find the Tendo Dojo, beat Ranma's ass for us will you?
Ryoga: With pleasure! The bitter rivalry between the two of us will finally end! Also, AKANE WILL BE ALL MINE!!!! HA HA HA HA!!!
Rovert: Right.... now go.
*Ryoga leaves*
Rovert: Now, let's wait for the little asshole to arrive.
(20 minutes later)
*A car stops in front of Rovert*
*A figure steps out*
Aseb: ROVERT, BUDDY!!!
Rovert: Hey, Aseb.
Aseb: It has been such a long time hasn't it?
Rovert: Yep. It has.
Aseb: Give your old friend a BIIIIIIIIG HUG!!!!
Rovert: I'd rather not.
Aseb: Oh, okay. So where are my other bestest friends in the world?
Rovert: They're inside.
Aseb: How were they all this time?
Rovert: Ybbob is a complete dickhead, Samoht is a bitch, and AE is an asshole.
Aseb: Oh! That's nice to hear!
Rovert: Let's go in. We need to talk to you.
Aseb: RIGHTO!!!
*The two go inside the lighthouse and discuss the whole thing over again!*
Aseb: Well as you might know, I am quite a formidable opponent! My ice powers are really strong!
Rovert: Good. NOW THE DISCHARMED IS COMPLETE!!! NYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *cough* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAARHGGGHHHHH HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Aseb: Your asthma might act up again, Rovert!
Rovert: Oh shut up Aseb.
Aseb: My lips are closed! Ha ha!
Rovert: So, the plan is set. Ryoga is headed to the Tendo Dojo to beat up Ranma. Then we kill the others. A capish?
Aseb: CAPISH!!!
Rovert: *slaps head*
Rovert: We attack tommorow night. Ryoga might take some time getting there. I calculated the time and it will take him up to tomorrow at 8:00 PM okay?
Samoht: Now do we have some fun?
Rovert: Okay. Free time.
AE: RIGHT MOIT!!!
Ybbob: ACHTUNG ACHTUNG!!!
Samoht: *snicker*
Aseb: Yahoo!!!
(Later... in Ybbob's room...)
Ybbob: Akhakhh... my modul panzah is almost finish'd!!
*someone busts open the door*
Aseb: General Ybbob! Aseb reporting for duty!!!
Ybbob: Vhat are kykyou doing khere?
Aseb: What are you doing?
Ybbob: I am vinizhing zis modul panzah.
Aseb: OH COOL!! CAN I HELP?
Ybbob: Nein!!! NO!!!
Aseb: Oh c'mon, buddy. Hey what's this piece do? Does this go here?
*Aseb puts the piece on top of the model*
Aseb: THERE!!!!
*The model shatters into pieces*
*!!!SMASH!!!*
Ybbob: ARRGHHH!! SCHEISSE SCHEISSE SCHEISSE!!! Halt deine fresse brauch keine hilfe, die huren! Komren nicht raus!! (SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I don't need your stinking help, bitch! Get the fuck out of here!!)
Aseb: Well I do not understand. But anyway, I'm gonna check on my other bestest friend in the whole world, AE!
*Aseb leaves*
Ybbob: ARRGHH!!! YE ARSH!!!! *shoots Luger in random directions*
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
(In AE's room....)
AE: Well now... Aum'a read about the parrots now. Right.
*Aseb busts in*
AE: Whoah, easy on tha door there moit!!!!!
Aseb: Hey, mate!!! Whatcha doin? C'mon! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!
AE: Aum'readin aahbout animals, moit. Ah like animals.
Aseb: Oh really??? What's your favorite animal?
AE: I rahlly lahk parrets.
Aseb: Oh, you like parrots? Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?
AE: WHAAAAAT??????? I'M BUSY, YOU BLOODY PRICK!!
Aseb: Come closer...
AE: *goes closer*
Aseb: Even... cloooooooser...
AE: Hey, prick. Tell me already will ya moit?
Aseb: Okay.....
*Aseb goes closer to AE's ear*
Aseb:........ I LIKE PARROTS TOO!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!
AE: AAARRGHH!! My bloody ear!!! You nuttah!!!
Aseb: Woo hoo! Ha ha ha! I like parrots too!! Guess what, AE? I like dogs, cats, mice, snakes, bunnies, fish and OCTOPUS!! And I like so many more like lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!!! HA HA HA HA!!! WE ARE THE SAME!!! I LIKE PARROTS, MATE!!! HA HA HA HAA!!!
AE: Get the fuck out of here ya bloddy prick!!
*AE uses his mind control to send Aseb out*
(Outside AE's room)
Aseb: *becomes conscious again* Huh?
Aseb: That silly AE! He used his brain against me! Hohohohoahhahahah!! I'm gonna check on good ol' Samoht!
(In Samoht's room)
Samoht: *reading porn* Ohhh look at those jugs... ohh yeah...
*Aseb busts in*
Samoht: YOU DICK!!! DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK???
Aseb: Oh no no no!!! Pornography is baaaaaad for you!! Those icky yucky books of nakey people will dirty your mind and your mind will become GREEN!!!!
Samoht: Shut up!!!
Aseb: And you should never touch the organ below the belt! Because touching it leads to bad naughty things! Now stop being silly and put some pants on! And please clean the mess you made here! The room is full of magazines and some.... sticky white stuff.
Samoht: Alright!! I'm giving you to the count of 3 to get out!!!
Aseb: ....
Samoht: 1!!!
Aseb: You are a veeerrryyy naughty person!!
Samoht: 2!!!
Aseb: I'm gonna tell you to Rovert!!!
Samoht: 3!!!
Aseb: Please clean this place up, will you? Or else, no dinner!!!
Samoht: PORN TENTACLE!!!!
*The magazines become tentacles and they grab Aseb*
Aseb: Wow!! Is this a magic trick!!!
Samoht: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!
*Samoht flings Aseb out the door*
*THUMP*
Aseb: OW!!! Huh? Where am I? Who am I? Ha ha! I'm being silly!
Aseb: I'm thirsty! I'm gonna get myself a nice soda pop!!!
(Meanwhile.... in Rovert's room)
*Rovert is making a house of cards*
*Rovert has made a 7 foot tall one. He's down to the last card*
Rovert: One..... last.... card....
*Ybbob busts in*
Ybbob: Rovert! Rovert! Rovert!
*The house of cards collapses*
Rovert: *falls off ladder* AAAAAAAA!!! *thump*
Rovert: YOU ASSHOLE!!!
Ybbob: Rovert! Rovert! Rovert!
Rovert: Yes? Yes? Yes?
*AE busts in*
AE: Aseb, Aseb, Aseb...
Rovert: What, what, WHAT???
*Samoht bursts in*
Samoht: He, he, he....
Rovert: JUST TELL ME ALREADY YOU DICKHEADS!!
Ybbob: He brouk my panzah modul!
AE: The prick disturbed me during me bloody research!!!
Samoht: He busted in on my....... business.
Rovert: YOU ARE SUCH WEAK ASSHOLES!!!!
AE: But, moit...
Rovert: WE USED TO RIDICULE HIM! NOW HE RIDICULES YOU???
Samoht: But....
Rovert: Look, YOU RUINED MY FUCKING HOUSE OF CARDS FOR THIS?
Ybbob: ....
Rovert: Look, Ybbob. Just buy a new one. AE, ignore Aseb. And Samoht, lock your door and keep down the noise. THERE! PROBLEM SOLVED!!!
*The three leave*
Samoht: Geez, what an asshole.
AE: Bloody hell, he's a big asshole.
Ybbob: ASHHOLE!! ASHHOLE!! ASHHOLE!!
Aseb: Hey guys!!!!
AE, Ybbob, and Samoht: ......
Aseb: Wanna play Go Fish?
AE, Ybbob, and Samoht: AAAAAAHHHH!!!! *runs away like a coward*
Aseb: Hmm... they must be busy today! Oh well....
The real Me: YEAHHHHHHHHHHH! Chapter end!!
The real EA: Well that was different.
The real Me: A lot of things have changed, man.
The real Besa: WAZZUP WAZZUP YO? Haay, Thomas, got dat virus yet, nigga?
The real Thomas: Yep its gone!
The real Bobby: GOOD! NOW PLAY THE DAMN SNEAK PEEK!
The real Besa: Wud out, Bobby.
The real Bobby: Hey Besa, peace. *stretches out hand*
The real Besa: Shake hands? Yo, PEACE OUT!!!
*The two shake hands*
The real Besa: NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI!!!! *faints*
The real Bobby: I love this industrial strength joy buzzer!
The real EA: Ok Thomas! PLAY THE TAPE!!!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.
----------------------------------------
Me: Just tell me!!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?????
???: I am... I AM....
*TAPE ERROR*
---------------------------------------
The real Thomas: WHAT THE FUCK????
Stratikeo: I'm back!!! FUCK YOU ALL!! HA HA HA!!! //SIGN
The real Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
The real EA: Ok folks, that's enough for today! See you next time!!!
*OFF THE AIR*
Well, sorry I haven't updated this much before. Well EA, please stop reviewing nonsense. I'm completely discouraged and I'm not sure if I can continue this fic or not. And really EA. My fic doesen't suck. You just like to annoy me. Well guess what? I am annoyed so stop it already or I'll remove all your reviews. I have authority in this fic and if I say "review" me, DO IT RIGHT!!! If you want to bug some people, have a go at the guys at www.fictionpress.com. You can submit your "Lord of Their Flies" there.
PS: Hey guys, don't reveal much about my/your personal life here on fanfiction.net please!!! (Example: my dandruff and Acuña)
Disclaimer: I don't own crap. Blah blah blah..... Author's note: REVIEW!! At least READ the damn fic! Look at 'Cool Guy' here! He rox!
"Survive with only Your Clothes and Your Charm" by dacop
Chapter 13: Aseb Brings the House Down
The real Me: Are you sure its legal?
The real EA: I'm sure.
The real Bobby: Hey, assholes. The camera is on.
The real Me: Oh shit.
The real EA: Hello! Welcome back readers! If there are any readers.
The real Me: This story needs more reviews.
The real Thomas: Hey! The computer is acting funny.
Stratikeo: Hahahahaha. //SIGN.
The real Thomas: GUYS!! There's a virus! SHIT! The porno!!!
The real Me: What porno? I didn't allow porno here in the frat.
The real Thomas: Porno? I meant portfolio! Yeah! Trevor's chapter portfolio.
The real Me: Oh c'mon Thomas. I know what you said.
The real Thomas: Shit.
The real Bobby: Just play the damn tape already!
*BACK TO THE STORY*
Me: Zzzzzzz.
Thomas: WAAAAAAAAAAKEEE!! UUUPPP! It's a BYOOOOO-
*Thomas notices something zip by*
Thomas: ....teefool day? Who was that?
Thomas: *kicks the air*
Bobby: *becomes visible again* OWW! You asshole!
Thomas: Heh.
Well things are going just fine at the Tendo Dojo... JUST FINE? BOOOOOORING! BRING ON THE PORNO!
The real Me: PORNO???
Oh. I mean LET'S FOCUS SOMEWHERE ELSE!!
(Somewhere in a secluded forest)
Ryoga: Oh Akane. Its been weeks maybe months since the last time I've seen you.
The real EA: Let me get this straight. Ryoga was lost for 9 chapters?
The real Me: Right.
The real Besa: *busts through the door*
The real Me: You're late again.
The real Besa: Wassup mah niggas? Sorry I's late, summ damn white biatch slowed meh down at da sidewalk. For real, dawg. Shit! After all dat cammashin in the previous chappie, its about time we all met again in the shithauz.
The real Me: For the last time, Besa. FRAT HOUSE.
The real Besa: Shut da fuck up, asshowe!
The real Me: Hey Thomas. GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK!!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.
*BACK TO THE STORY*
Ryoga: I'm hopelessly lost... forever. I wonder if I will ever find you again... Akane.
*Ryoga stumbles upon a lighthouse*
Ryoga: A lighthouse... maybe someone can give me directions.
*Ryoga knocks*
Ryoga: Hello? Anyone home?
Ybbob: Scheisse! Komren nicht raus die huren! (Shit! Get the fuck out bitch!)
Ryoga: Huh?
Samoht: Hey Ybbob! Did you read that book again!
Ybbob: Khknow I know khkow ta kers in German.
Ryoga: Look, I need directions and somewhere to stay.
Samoht: Well what can you do for us?
Ryoga: I am really good in martial arts.
Samoht: Pure talent huh?
Ybbob: Halts maul! Halt deine fresse brauch keine hilfe, das huren! (Shut up! Leave us the fuck alone, we don't need your stinking help, bitch!)
Ryoga: Ok.... I take that as a yes?
Ybbob: Scheisse lucker!!! (You lucky piece of shit!!!)
Samoht: Just a second. BOOOOOSSSS!!!
Rovert: WHAT?? I'm bizzy!
Samoht: We got a visitor?
Rovert: *goes to the door* Who is it? Another whore selling cookies?
Rovert and Ryoga: YOU AGAIN!!!
Samoht: Do you know each other?
Rovert: I saw him at the beach.
Rovert: Well, we haven't introduced yet.
Ryoga: I'm Ryoga Hibiki.
Rovert: I'm Rovert........um... NICE TA MEET YA!!!!
(MEANWHILE AT THE TENDO HOUSEHOLD)
Bobby: Well... its SUNDAY!! The weekend is over. Ehhh.
Thomas: Yeah it sucks.
Besa: ZzzzZzzzz
Thomas: The heat is really getting to us eh, Bobby?
Bobby: Yep.
Thomas: What's Trevor doin with Ranma?
Bobby: Probably eatin' shit or something.
Ranma: OK... JUST STAY STILL!!!
Me: Alright already, just shut the fuck up!
Ranma: ....There has to be a way to topple you over.
Me: That's gonna be impossible.
Ranma: Hmmm....
Bobby: Well, where's EA anyways?
Thomas: I think he died.
(SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE)
EA: OHHHH!!! Sweeeetooo!!!
Happosai: OHHHH!!! Sweeeetooo!!!
EA: What a haul!
Happosai: What a haul!
Girls: AAHHH!! GET BACK HERE, PERVERTS!!!
(BACK TO BOBBY)
Bobby: I never knew he would stoop that low. Hahah, fucker.
Thomas: Hey Besa, wake up.
Besa: HEY!! I AM SLEEPING, BITCH!!!
Thomas: Right right. Just don't pull the lightning good-ass trick again.
As if things can't get anymore boring at the Tendo Dojo, let's forget the assholes and focus on our little friend, RYOGA!!!
(AT THE DISCHARMED HQ)
Rovert: As you can see, we are armed with the latest in destructive weapon technology.
Ryoga: Like this slingshot? *points to slingshot*
Rovert: Ooookay, maybe not the latest.
Ryoga: ....
Rovert: But, we are armed with our CHARMS... right fellas?
The other guys: RIGHT!!
Ryoga: Quite a bunch you got here.
Rovert: Yeah, evil is our essence.
Ryoga: EVIL???
Rovert: Whoops, I mean..... um... EGGS!!! YEAH!!
Ryoga: ???
Rovert: We like eating eggs and bacon for breakfast!! Heheh.
Ryoga: Oh.
Rovert: *thinking* Wow.. this guy is one... big.. dumbass.
Ryoga: *thinking* Wow.. this guy is one... big.. dumbass.
Ybbob: Khkey, arschloc, vanna have sum fodka?
Rovert: Hey Ybbob! I thought you were German!
Ybbob: Oh kheh, kheh, oopz.
*someone busts the door open*
AE: Yo, moits, good mownin!
Ryoga: And who is this?
Rovert: That's just AE. The asshole.
Ybbob: Yah!! ACHTUNG!! AE ISH AN AZHHOLE!!!
AE: What the devil? Ybbob, you bloody prick!!! *stare*
Ybbob: Muzt reshisht, mind kontrul!!
*Ybbob picks up radio*
Ybbob: ACHTUNG, ACHTUNG!! AZHHOLE! AZHHOLE!
Sniper: Ja wohl!
*sniper aims at AE's head*
Ybbob: Nyakh khakh khahk!
AE: What the bloody hell is that?
AE: ....
AE: Eohhh, SHIT!! A snipah!!!
Ybbob: Khnow you vill die, svhul!!!
AE: Now you don't you prick!!! *stares at the sniper*
Sniper: AAHHHH!!! You vill pay!! *shoots himself in the process*
*BANG*
AE: HAH HAH! That you shows you to show meh a wallaby WITH the huma today. Now Ybbob, just shut the fuck up, prick or I will take my sock puppet and shove it down your bloody neck!!!!
Ybbob: Okhay, man. You're das fuhrer!
Rovert: .....okay.
Ryoga: *scratches head*
Rovert: *thinking* I don't know why these fucking morons are like this everyday. Geez, what shitheads.
AE: Ahh, ay boss? How about say, mush here joined us eh? A bloody good idea eh?
Ryoga: Actually, I just wanted a place to stay.
Rovert: Right, right Ryoga. Why don't you go to Samoht downstairs.
Ryoga: Oh okay. *goes downstairs*
Rovert: *looking innocent*
*Ryoga is already downstairs*
Rovert: *Looks at AE and Ybbob in a scary face*
AE: Uh... moit? Is there something in your nose?
Rovert: SHUT UP, FUCKS!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ALMOST DID????
Ybbob: .....um Arshhole khkilled a znipar?
Rovert: WRONG!!!
AE: Uhhh.... moit, got a wallaby in your head?
Rovert: SHUT UP!!! Look, I have been watching this guy Ryoga for days now. As you know one of our enemies is that asshole, Ranma Saotome! For all I know, he might be the only one who could defeat him. The problem is, HE IS SOOOO FUCKIN NOBLE!!! So don't do any evil stuff for now..... OR I'LL FUCKIN KILL YA!!!!
AE and Ybbob: ........ RIGHT BOSS!!!
Rovert: Good. Its nice to know I'm good enough to be understood by dumbasses.
AE: Yo, boss? How about the bloody fuckin stupid things Samoht does?
Rovert: S-S-S-S-SAMOHT????
*Rovert runs down to the first floor*
(IN THE KITCHEN....)
Ryoga: Is there anything to eat here?
Samoht: Hey Ryoga!
Ryoga: Oh, Samoht.
Samoht: Hey, man I need a big big favor.
Ryoga: What?
Samoht: I need some more porno. My powers are getting weaker.
Ryoga: PORNOGRAPHY???? Never!!! My heart is too pure, too noble!!!
Samoht: Right, right. Just like the others. PORN MASK!!!!
*A magazine covers Ryoga's face*
Ryoga: MMFFFF!!!!
Samoht: You will do everything I say.....
Ryoga: .....
Samoht: GET ME SOME PORNO YOU FUCKIN LOSER!!!!
*SCREEN SHUTS OFF*
The real Thomas: What the fuck? *presses all the buttons*
The real Me: THOMAAAAASS!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO????
The real Thomas: Nothing!!! The damn thing shut off by itself!!!
The real EA: Ok.. we're fuckin screwed.
The real Me: Just a sec.
The real EA: Huh?
The real Me: BOBBY!!! COME OVER HERE!!!
The real Bobby: Yeah?
The real Me: Where's Besa?
The real Bobby: He's in the back room.... where the wires are.
The real Bobby: I heard a thump and a loud scream and some electricity going off....
The real Me: I knew it. Hey Thomas? I'll take care of it here. Go get Besa, give him some ice, and fix the damn wires will ya?
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.
*Thomas goes to the back room*
The real Me: Soooo, EA. Got any porn?
The real EA: *sweating* Porn? I don't know what you're talking about!!!
The real Me: Then why is there a virus called Stratikeo infecting our precious computer?
Stratikeo: KILL KILL KILL THE BYTES!!! HA HA HA HA!! //SIGN
The real EA: *sweating* Umm... eh.. uh... ASK BOBBY!!!
The real Bobby: Don't look at me man.
The real Thomas: OK!!! ITS FIXED!!!!
The real Me: Okay. Let's see the real culprit.
*I surf all the folders up to Bobby's*
The real Me: WHAT IS THIS??? I see some dirty stuff in Bobby's folder!!!!
The real Bobby: Whaaaaaaattttt????
The real Me: Tsk tsk tsk. I can't believe you, Bobby.
The real Bobby: WAIIIIITTT!!! Look at the filename!!!!
The real Me: Huh?
The real Bobby: Read it!!
The real me: It says, EA.jpg!!!!
The real EA: Oh shit.
The real Me: IS THIS YOUUUURRSSS!????
The real EA: No! No! No!
The real Bobby: Look at the file properties!!
The real Me: Yeah so?
The real EA: WHAAAA???? It says that the author is.... YOU!!
The real Me: MEEEEE?????
The real Bobby: Geez Trevor. You're the one who prohibited porn in the first place. We are soooooo disappointed. Ha ha ha ha ha!
The real Me: But-but-but-but....
The real Bobby: Halts maul, huren!!!
The real Me: You really hurt me there, Bobby.
The real EA: WAIT!!! LOOOOOK!!!
The real Me: What?
The real EA: It says, "Mass-mailing picture. Generator: Stratikeo"
The real Me: So the virus made it after all!
The real Bobby: Damn this life, man.
The real Me: This is shit.
The real EA: Fuck it.
The real Thomas: WAZZUP GUYS??? I'M BACK!!
The real Me: ....
The real EA: ....
The real Bobby: ....
The real Thomas: Well, I'll take that as a "Thank You".
The real Besa: YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO!
The real Thomas: Right. Back to the story people!!!
The real EA: Fuck you Stratikeo.
The real Thomas: Fuck you too EA. Fuck you too.
(BACK TO THE STORY)
Ryoga: Yes sir!
Rovert: SAMOHT, YOU DICK!!!
Samoht: Eh?
Rovert: Bring him out of the trance, dammit! NOW!!!
Samoht: Right, okay, bitch.
Rovert: YOU ASSHOLE!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!
Samoht: Oh, shit.
Rovert: From the deepest depths of the hellish abyss....
Samoht: SHIT!!!
Ryoga: Huh? Rovert?
Rovert: I summon...... THE ULTIMATE POWER!!!
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!*
Samoht: NOOOOO!!!! HUH????
Ryoga: What?
Samoht: What the hell is this, dude? Cheese powder?????
Rovert: The special discharmed attack "CHEESE BOMB".
Samoht: Oh. Well it wont work again, man.
Rovert: YAAAAAAHHHH!! *blast*
*Samoht gets blasted out of the lighthouse*
Samoht: YOU DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!! *gets blown into space*
Ryoga: O_o
Rovert: Okay, Ryoga. Where were we?
Ryoga: I'm hungry.
Rovert: Okay you can help yourself to some peanuts and pop.
Ryoga: Then again... maybe not.
Ybbob: ROFERKHKT!!! TIME FOR DA MEETENG!!!
Rovert: Just a second, Ryoga.
(Upstairs)
AE: Alright moits, we got Ryoga here, so now what, mush?
Rovert: I'm thinking.
Ybbob: Ve're vaiting!!
Rovert: Okay... first AE. Make him beat that Saotome.
AE: Right.
Rovert: That guy Ranma can be a real pain in the ass so we need him out.
Ybbob: Und then, vhat nekskt?
Rovert: Then we'll kill Trevor and the others!
Samoht: Sounds simple enough. Thomas is no match for my porn techniques.
Rovert: And Trevor won't be able to block my dark powers anymore!
Ybbob: Bobby's panzah diffision vill be deztroyd!!
AE: Yeah moit. And EA's bloody head will be bleedin'!
Samoht: Hey Rovert... we have one problem....
Rovert: What?
Samoht: What about Besa?
Rovert: *slaps head* Oh shit. The lightning good-ass always makes the best out of us.
Samoht: Shouldn't we call Aseb?
Rovert: THAT GUY??? ASEB???? THE WET FART????
AE: HA HA HA!! Good one moit!
Rovert: Well... *snicker* we don't have a choice.
*Rovert goes to the phone and dials 1908-ILOV-EPIE*
Rovert: Its ringing!!!
Ybbob: *snickers*
AE: Haha, nice one moit.
???: YALLO? Welcome to the wonderful house of Aseb! Aseb speaking!
Rovert: *snickers* Hey, asshole!
Aseb: I am sorry but my ears would like to stay virgin, thank you!!!
Rovert: You don't remember me?
Aseb: Who are you, sir?
Rovert: Its Rovert!!!
Aseb: ROVERT??? It really is you! Oh my gosh! You... like.... never call me!! Not even once!!! Ever since that birthday cake incident!
Rovert: Well I did now.
Aseb: Hello, my bestest friend in the whooooole world!!!
Rovert: ALRIGHT! I GET IT ALREADY!!!
Aseb: So how's the protagonist killing thing going?
Rovert: We can't survive without you man.... we need your ice powers.
Aseb: Oh you big silly puppy, you!
Rovert: Would you please... PLEASE.. STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!
Samoht: Hey, AE. I bet Rovert got called a big silly puppy again.
Rovert: NYAAAAARRGHH!! *blast*
Samoht: Oh shit not agai-
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!*
Samoht: IM GONNA GET YOU BACK YOU DICKHEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!! *flies into the sky*
Aseb: Oh, Rovert! I just heard an explosion! Did you blast my other bestest friend in the whole wide world, Samoht??
Rovert: Umm... no. There was dynamite outside the lighthouse.
Aseb: So you need my help right? Friend?
Rovert: YES I DO!!!!
Aseb: I am gonna go over there now, ok?
Rovert: OK! BYE!!! *puts down phone*
Aseb: ..... don't forget to take your constipation medicine, Rovert!
Rovert: ...... Guys...
Ybbob: Vhat ish it?
Rovert: I am REALLY SORRY for inviting Aseb over.
AE: That's alright, moit. We can play tricks on him like we did on the old days.
Rovert: Yeah. Maybe we can have some fun while he's here. *snicker*
(OUTSIDE THE LIGHTHOUSE)
Ryoga: Hmm....
Samoht: Hey, help me will ya, man?
Ryoga: *steps on Samoht's head*
Samoht: Ooff! *becomes unconscious*
Ryoga: That teaches you to wrap my face in visual profanity.
*Ryoga goes back to the lighthouse*
Rovert: Sorry for the long wait there, Ryoga!
Ryoga: Don't worry. Samoht is out cold though.
Rovert: Ryoga, you did us all a big favor.
Rovert: Hey Ryoga. Here's a map to the Tendo Dojo. When you find the Tendo Dojo, beat Ranma's ass for us will you?
Ryoga: With pleasure! The bitter rivalry between the two of us will finally end! Also, AKANE WILL BE ALL MINE!!!! HA HA HA HA!!!
Rovert: Right.... now go.
*Ryoga leaves*
Rovert: Now, let's wait for the little asshole to arrive.
(20 minutes later)
*A car stops in front of Rovert*
*A figure steps out*
Aseb: ROVERT, BUDDY!!!
Rovert: Hey, Aseb.
Aseb: It has been such a long time hasn't it?
Rovert: Yep. It has.
Aseb: Give your old friend a BIIIIIIIIG HUG!!!!
Rovert: I'd rather not.
Aseb: Oh, okay. So where are my other bestest friends in the world?
Rovert: They're inside.
Aseb: How were they all this time?
Rovert: Ybbob is a complete dickhead, Samoht is a bitch, and AE is an asshole.
Aseb: Oh! That's nice to hear!
Rovert: Let's go in. We need to talk to you.
Aseb: RIGHTO!!!
*The two go inside the lighthouse and discuss the whole thing over again!*
Aseb: Well as you might know, I am quite a formidable opponent! My ice powers are really strong!
Rovert: Good. NOW THE DISCHARMED IS COMPLETE!!! NYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *cough* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAARHGGGHHHHH HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Aseb: Your asthma might act up again, Rovert!
Rovert: Oh shut up Aseb.
Aseb: My lips are closed! Ha ha!
Rovert: So, the plan is set. Ryoga is headed to the Tendo Dojo to beat up Ranma. Then we kill the others. A capish?
Aseb: CAPISH!!!
Rovert: *slaps head*
Rovert: We attack tommorow night. Ryoga might take some time getting there. I calculated the time and it will take him up to tomorrow at 8:00 PM okay?
Samoht: Now do we have some fun?
Rovert: Okay. Free time.
AE: RIGHT MOIT!!!
Ybbob: ACHTUNG ACHTUNG!!!
Samoht: *snicker*
Aseb: Yahoo!!!
(Later... in Ybbob's room...)
Ybbob: Akhakhh... my modul panzah is almost finish'd!!
*someone busts open the door*
Aseb: General Ybbob! Aseb reporting for duty!!!
Ybbob: Vhat are kykyou doing khere?
Aseb: What are you doing?
Ybbob: I am vinizhing zis modul panzah.
Aseb: OH COOL!! CAN I HELP?
Ybbob: Nein!!! NO!!!
Aseb: Oh c'mon, buddy. Hey what's this piece do? Does this go here?
*Aseb puts the piece on top of the model*
Aseb: THERE!!!!
*The model shatters into pieces*
*!!!SMASH!!!*
Ybbob: ARRGHHH!! SCHEISSE SCHEISSE SCHEISSE!!! Halt deine fresse brauch keine hilfe, die huren! Komren nicht raus!! (SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I don't need your stinking help, bitch! Get the fuck out of here!!)
Aseb: Well I do not understand. But anyway, I'm gonna check on my other bestest friend in the whole world, AE!
*Aseb leaves*
Ybbob: ARRGHH!!! YE ARSH!!!! *shoots Luger in random directions*
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
(In AE's room....)
AE: Well now... Aum'a read about the parrots now. Right.
*Aseb busts in*
AE: Whoah, easy on tha door there moit!!!!!
Aseb: Hey, mate!!! Whatcha doin? C'mon! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!
AE: Aum'readin aahbout animals, moit. Ah like animals.
Aseb: Oh really??? What's your favorite animal?
AE: I rahlly lahk parrets.
Aseb: Oh, you like parrots? Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?
AE: WHAAAAAT??????? I'M BUSY, YOU BLOODY PRICK!!
Aseb: Come closer...
AE: *goes closer*
Aseb: Even... cloooooooser...
AE: Hey, prick. Tell me already will ya moit?
Aseb: Okay.....
*Aseb goes closer to AE's ear*
Aseb:........ I LIKE PARROTS TOO!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!
AE: AAARRGHH!! My bloody ear!!! You nuttah!!!
Aseb: Woo hoo! Ha ha ha! I like parrots too!! Guess what, AE? I like dogs, cats, mice, snakes, bunnies, fish and OCTOPUS!! And I like so many more like lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!!! HA HA HA HA!!! WE ARE THE SAME!!! I LIKE PARROTS, MATE!!! HA HA HA HAA!!!
AE: Get the fuck out of here ya bloddy prick!!
*AE uses his mind control to send Aseb out*
(Outside AE's room)
Aseb: *becomes conscious again* Huh?
Aseb: That silly AE! He used his brain against me! Hohohohoahhahahah!! I'm gonna check on good ol' Samoht!
(In Samoht's room)
Samoht: *reading porn* Ohhh look at those jugs... ohh yeah...
*Aseb busts in*
Samoht: YOU DICK!!! DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK???
Aseb: Oh no no no!!! Pornography is baaaaaad for you!! Those icky yucky books of nakey people will dirty your mind and your mind will become GREEN!!!!
Samoht: Shut up!!!
Aseb: And you should never touch the organ below the belt! Because touching it leads to bad naughty things! Now stop being silly and put some pants on! And please clean the mess you made here! The room is full of magazines and some.... sticky white stuff.
Samoht: Alright!! I'm giving you to the count of 3 to get out!!!
Aseb: ....
Samoht: 1!!!
Aseb: You are a veeerrryyy naughty person!!
Samoht: 2!!!
Aseb: I'm gonna tell you to Rovert!!!
Samoht: 3!!!
Aseb: Please clean this place up, will you? Or else, no dinner!!!
Samoht: PORN TENTACLE!!!!
*The magazines become tentacles and they grab Aseb*
Aseb: Wow!! Is this a magic trick!!!
Samoht: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!
*Samoht flings Aseb out the door*
*THUMP*
Aseb: OW!!! Huh? Where am I? Who am I? Ha ha! I'm being silly!
Aseb: I'm thirsty! I'm gonna get myself a nice soda pop!!!
(Meanwhile.... in Rovert's room)
*Rovert is making a house of cards*
*Rovert has made a 7 foot tall one. He's down to the last card*
Rovert: One..... last.... card....
*Ybbob busts in*
Ybbob: Rovert! Rovert! Rovert!
*The house of cards collapses*
Rovert: *falls off ladder* AAAAAAAA!!! *thump*
Rovert: YOU ASSHOLE!!!
Ybbob: Rovert! Rovert! Rovert!
Rovert: Yes? Yes? Yes?
*AE busts in*
AE: Aseb, Aseb, Aseb...
Rovert: What, what, WHAT???
*Samoht bursts in*
Samoht: He, he, he....
Rovert: JUST TELL ME ALREADY YOU DICKHEADS!!
Ybbob: He brouk my panzah modul!
AE: The prick disturbed me during me bloody research!!!
Samoht: He busted in on my....... business.
Rovert: YOU ARE SUCH WEAK ASSHOLES!!!!
AE: But, moit...
Rovert: WE USED TO RIDICULE HIM! NOW HE RIDICULES YOU???
Samoht: But....
Rovert: Look, YOU RUINED MY FUCKING HOUSE OF CARDS FOR THIS?
Ybbob: ....
Rovert: Look, Ybbob. Just buy a new one. AE, ignore Aseb. And Samoht, lock your door and keep down the noise. THERE! PROBLEM SOLVED!!!
*The three leave*
Samoht: Geez, what an asshole.
AE: Bloody hell, he's a big asshole.
Ybbob: ASHHOLE!! ASHHOLE!! ASHHOLE!!
Aseb: Hey guys!!!!
AE, Ybbob, and Samoht: ......
Aseb: Wanna play Go Fish?
AE, Ybbob, and Samoht: AAAAAAHHHH!!!! *runs away like a coward*
Aseb: Hmm... they must be busy today! Oh well....
The real Me: YEAHHHHHHHHHHH! Chapter end!!
The real EA: Well that was different.
The real Me: A lot of things have changed, man.
The real Besa: WAZZUP WAZZUP YO? Haay, Thomas, got dat virus yet, nigga?
The real Thomas: Yep its gone!
The real Bobby: GOOD! NOW PLAY THE DAMN SNEAK PEEK!
The real Besa: Wud out, Bobby.
The real Bobby: Hey Besa, peace. *stretches out hand*
The real Besa: Shake hands? Yo, PEACE OUT!!!
*The two shake hands*
The real Besa: NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI NYI!!!! *faints*
The real Bobby: I love this industrial strength joy buzzer!
The real EA: Ok Thomas! PLAY THE TAPE!!!
The real Thomas: Yeah, yeah.
----------------------------------------
Me: Just tell me!!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?????
???: I am... I AM....
*TAPE ERROR*
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The real Thomas: WHAT THE FUCK????
Stratikeo: I'm back!!! FUCK YOU ALL!! HA HA HA!!! //SIGN
The real Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
The real EA: Ok folks, that's enough for today! See you next time!!!
*OFF THE AIR*