A/N: Sorry this is late, but I was busy last weekend! Oh yes, and I know you all don't care, lol, but I got some exam results back! Yes, due to the fact I spent my revision time writing Chapter29 the other week I got 47% in physics – ONE MARK OFF A 'C', THE ABSOLUTE B*STARDS! *cough* Anyway… remind me to work next time, please. Oh, and I Dare Not Ask A Kiss has been updated…FINALLY. It's quite a good chapter, I think! Have a read ^_^!
AHHHH! This chapter is DRAMATIC and FREAKY! BEWARE ALL YE WHO ARE OF A FAINT HEART! (hehe it's not that bad, just trying to make this chapter seem more interesting)
Oh yeah and, as I said, Hagrid's language confuses me, so I make up my own and laugh.
And I can't write fight scenes. So don't expect a masterpiece.
Disclaimer: See previous chapters. And I don't own My Little Pony. I own many of them, but not the actual franchise. Are Snape and I the only ones who miss the old chunky ones and hate the thin new ones?!?!
***
Harry sat against the cold wall still rather… nude. Frodo had crawled over to the other side of the room, desperate to get away from Harry. Harry didn't understand why he should be so eager to get away from him, after all he only suggested they snuggled together for heat. Suddenly a voice rang through the stone walls of the tower of Cirith Ungol,
"In Western lands beneath the sun…"
Harry threw his hands to his ears, cursing Sam's bad singing under his breath. Frodo on the other hand began groping madly around him and muttering,
"Sam? Sam…where are you?"
After several minutes of confusion (including orcs whipping Harry for that miserable hobbit's singing) Sam was in the room with them and tending to Frodo. Frodo told Sam of his distress of waking up with Harry in his birthday suit beside him. Harry sat quietly, muttering in a huff to himself,
"Stupid hobbits, yes, nasty hobbitsess!" Harry sighed, "We wishes Gollum were here, don't we precious?"
As they were leaving, Sam glared at Harry, who replied with an innocent look. Sam stuttered angrily,
"Look here…you…you…boy! You may have got to lie with my master naked, but that does NOT mean he loves you, all right? He loves m-" Sam gulped and backtracked on his sentence, "I mean he loves… loves women. Not men. And certainly not you!"
***
Denethor was running in circles around the bed that he had laid his son, Faramir, on as Gandalf stood in the doorway of the room rubbing his temples. Snape came walking up to him. Gandalf gave Snape a slow smile,
"Ahh. Wizard. Just who I wanted to see."
"And I wanted to see you," Snape smirked, "Well, they do say there's a first for everything."
"Quite."
"I need to tell you something, Gandalf…it's rather important…"
"Yes, Snape, do tell me. Especially if it has it anything to do with Denethor now having a tinderbox in his possession and the means of obtaining fuel to light."
"How did you- "Snape paused as he looked into the room, to see Denethor putting straw over Faramir's body. Snape sighed, "I see."
"I asked you to look after him. A simple task in itself, I must say."
"Of course," Snape gave Gandalf a sarcastic smile, "But when you also leave me in control of Master Took here, it's rather hard to do such a task without it being utterly…how can I put it? Ah yes…buggered up."
Gandalf sighed,
"Yes, I had noticed Pippin has taken quite a shine to you – though I have no idea as to why. I thought he might have grown out of it by now…but then again, I suppose we can't all have perfect role models can we?"
"No." Snape thought for a moment, then he realised he'd just been insulted and scowled. Changing the subject, Snape asked,
"What's Denethor doing?"
"Burning himself and Faramir."
"That's not particularly good for his son's health I would imagine."
"No. Nor his own," Gandalf took a couple of steps into the room and shouted to Denethor,
"NO! Denethor, you just doom your city and your son by doing this!"
Snape watched and listened as Gandalf tried to reason with Denethor. Then his eyes caught on a familiar looking object sitting behind Denethor – a palantir. Snape bit on his lip and thought, well I have to contact Sauron somehow – I don't really like the thought of having all of Mordor against me for forgetting to drop him a line…
Snape made up his mind to steal the palantir, then edged his way around Gandalf into the room. Luckily for him, Gandalf paid him no attention. Handily enough, there was a pillar near Denethor that Snape could hide behind. Snape had an awful feeling of déjà vu, but ignored it and carried out his evil plans. Well, they weren't that evil – but evil plans sound so much more exciting than considerably average plans, don't they?
"No! Faramir is burning, and I shall burn with him!" Denethor hollered at Gandalf, as servants helped throw straw round and about. Gandalf sighed,
"Yes, he is burning from a fever! That is no reason to set him alight! Now stop this madness and let us cure your son!"
Snape smirked and whispered,
"Don't listen to Gandalf, Denethor! You're your own man, Steward of Gondor! Why let a mere," Snape shuddered, "…wizard tell you how to run your city? How to run your life?"
"You're right…" Denethor whispered to the voice he believed was coming from his own head,
"I hear a voice Gandalf…and it's telling me…telling me…"
Gandalf waited expectantly as Denethor strained to hear the voice. Snape realised that it was his cue, and whispered,
"BURN! BURRRRRRN IT ALL!"
"Yes, yes I must!" Denethor looked like he was finally about to set the straw alight whenever signs of doubt rushed across his face. Gandalf sighed in relief as Snape cursed under his breath and tried a new tactic,
"Denethor…you must do it!"
"But why?" Denethor whispered in his best angst-ridden voice. Snape sighed,
"Face it. None of them ever liked you anyway. Gandalf doesn't – he thinks you're a loon. Theoden thought you smelled. And as for Boromir…well, he told me about your little 'secret'"
"Which one?" Denethor clutched his head in worry. Snape's mind raced trying to think of something, then settled for,
"The women's undergarments one. The wearing of…the woman's undergarments."
Denethor screamed suddenly, and Gandalf's face drew wide with worry as Denethor lit a splinter of wood. Snape punched the air in his form of glee (which roughly translates as a mood that average people would classify as 'depressed' – well he IS Snape after all…how often is he truly happy?) and went to grab the palantir. But before he could do so he felt a tugging on his robes that made him turn around. A worried little voice exclaimed,
"Should you have done that Sevvie?"
"Shush! Gandalf will hear you!"
Pippin frowned,
"I don't think what you just did was right."
"I don't believe what they did to My Little Pony's was right, but that's the way life is." Snape sighed in remembering the good old My Little Pony's. Yes, thought Snape, back then they were fat and chunky as ponies should be – now they sell kids My Little Pony's that look like sticks! It just isn't fair… Snape wiped away a little teardrop as he was dragged back to reality by Pippin asking,
"What's a My Little Pony?"
"Oh, nevermind," said Snape irritably, "You wouldn't know unless you weren't living in a book. And even then you'd have to be older to know what I'm talking about."
"Oh."
"Anyway, if you'll just shut up and let me get my paperwei–I mean palantir, I'll give you a whole bag of pipeweed!"
"Ohh goodie!" Pippin grinned and held his hand to his mouth to silence himself.
Snape turned to grab the palantir from the table on which it had been resting, when he realised that Denethor was holding it. Not only that, Denethor was on fire. Man, it was not a pretty sight. Snape winced from the heat of the flames and shielded his eyes from the sight of the burning man. And I really should inform you that the smell of the burning flesh was enough to turn Snape's stomach, and indeed, enough to drive him out of the room. As he ran out pulling Pippin with him, he turned to see Gandalf carrying Faramir out before Denethor could set him alight as well. Pippin stood at Snape's side gasping in horror as he watched Denethor stumble around wildly with flames engulfing every part of his body.
Snape did the honourable thing and covered Pippin's eyes.
***
In a corridor somewhere in Hogwarts, a beautiful and visually stunning scene was taking place. Not many people will ever see such a scene in their life – and it was one to make all movie directors weep in the thought of knowing that they could never replicate it.
The moon shone through the window in beams of white light that spread through the darkened corridor. From the shadows there came a deep, harsh note from Remus' throat and he took several steps forward, twisting his head in the moonlight in desperation to keep himself under control. He had had the sense to run from Snape's dungeons once he realised that he was changing, for the safety of all who had been occupying the room with him.
Throwing his hands in front of his face he could see claws growing out of the flesh where his fingernails should have been. Doubling over and falling to the floor, large paws slammed onto the wooden boards. Remus' back arched with one last jolt of pain from the change to his canine shape and his eyes grew wide for one fearful moment before they turned blood red.
Remus rose from the floor slowly, and shook what shreds of clothes remained from his back. Then throwing his jaws open wide he let out a rage-filled howl and bounded off down the corridor.
Sirius paced back and forth as Hagrid began to push desks over to block the entrance to Snape's dungeon. Hagrid called over to Sirius,
"I'll look for some o' that potion Remus was yammering on abou'!"
"Yes…yes that would probably be helpful," Sirius replied.
"You know what you must do…" Professor McGonagall gave Sirius a weak smile as she spoke to him, "You must find him… and get that damned potion down the monster's throat!"
Sirius gave the woman a strange look as she shook her fists in anger. Then he slumped into a nearby chair,
"I know…" Sirius sighed. Oh how he hated having to be the hero. He told Dumbledore to buy some tranquillising darts, but had he listened? Surprisingly enough – no. The unanimous vote of the members of staff and pupils in the room was that Sirius was to go after Remus, and fight him. They didn't seem to understand that he didn't stand a chance against a werewolf. McGonagall had said that was nonsense, because he could fight as a dog. Sirius didn't have the heart to explain he meant that he didn't stand a chance against a werewolf AS a dog. There was only so much a mongrel could do. Oh, if only he had been a German shepherd or a Doberman, things would be so much easier. From outside the dungeon door, Sirius could hear a snarling noise. Hagrid gave Sirius a smile and began to undo all his good barricading work by moving desks, in order to let Sirius out.
"Well…this is it Hagrid," Sirius said as he walked over to the door and spoke the corniest line he could think of (well if he had to go, he might as well go with a bang), "This is my destiny…"
Hagrid raised an eyebrow,
"Are yeh sure yeh wan' ta do this?"
"Yes…I'm sure. I think."
"Well, have fun! I'll be ou' wit' the potion as soon as yeh pin the beast down!"
With those words, Hagrid flung the door open and pushed Sirius out into the dark and scary looking corridor, slamming the door behind him. Sirius swore several times to release his pent up frustration and fear, then changed into his canine form – in a much less painful and dramatic way than Remus' wolf transformation. There IS a classy difference between a werewolf and a mongrel after all.
The world rushed at Sirius' newly heightened senses all at once. He could smell Remus nearby, and he could also smell blood. Sirius' ears pricked up at the sound of scratching of claws. Letting his paws pad softly along the creaky floorboards as he advanced forward, he looked around the corner to see Remus chewing on a flesh covered bone, using one paw's claws to grate against the bone to get the meat off.
Remus picked up on Sirius' presence within seconds, and he threw his bone down to rush for the throat of the dog. Remus' body weighed down on Sirius' chest as his teeth glistened with blood in the moonlight. If Sirius' vocal chords were advanced enough to say 'oh shit' he would have, but he could only mutter a rough,
"Rrrrowlll…"
Sirius raised his front paws and pushed at Remus' lower jaw, letting his claws sink into the skin. Remus let out a hurt and angry yelp as he jumped back, giving Sirius time to get up and stand upright on all four paws. Sirius knew he had to act fast, and so he hurled himself onto Remus' back, and clung on by his claws for dear life. Remus shook his body violently and began to twist his head round to snap at Sirius' paws. Barking loudly, Sirius shifted his weight to one side of Remus, causing him to lose his balance and topple over. In that one moment Remus was down, Sirius clambered on top of him and barked again. Remus snapped at Sirius' throat, but Sirius didn't relent and kept Remus pinned firmly to the ground.
Hagrid came out of Snape's dungeon and ran round the corner of the corridor to find a frightened looking dog atop of a vicious wolf. Rushing over, he flung Sirius out of the way and grabbed Remus by the throat. Out of the corner of his eye could see Sirius changing back into his normal self. Hagrid threw Sirius a small bottle as he called out,
"Take tha' bottle and shove the liquid down the throa'!"
Sirius opened the bottle Hagrid had given him as he watched Hagrid grab Remus' jaws and force them wide open with a painful looking movement. Sirius came forward and then tipped the potion down Remus' throat. Once that had been done, Hagrid held Remus' jaws shut until he had swallowed the potion.
Remus' eyes misted over as Hagrid relaxed his grip on him, and he merely let out a low growl. Sirius knelt down at Remus' side and ran a hand down his tattered fur. Hagrid smiled and patted the wolf's head,
"Tha' oughta kept yeh sedated, Remus!"
After Hagrid had gone, several pillows peered around the corner to find Sirius sitting against the wall soothing a wolf with a little song as he cuddled it. They all let out a contented sigh of,
"Fllllllluff!"
***
Next chapter will have lots of Hermione/Ron, because our two little friends deserve the starring role in a chapter – don't they? And as the Christmas Holidays start in a week, updates will be more frequent after next Friday – wahey ^_^! I have plans for this…and I can't wait for them, cos I think they're gonna be funny ^_^!
I got so many reviews for the last chapter, thank you! I love you all!
My deepest respect and dumbstruck thanks to:
Digitaru – Aha, Drama indeed. Yes, Romeo and Juliet was the basis for the last chapter, teehee!
Mandy Snape – The random bed sheet? Well, if I told you the REAL story you would probably die of shock…
Liza – Hehe, I've updated!
Aldawen – Yah, I know. M-E is meant to be England etc. But I figured as they were sorta sucked into a book that they are in the fictional world of M-E rather than the English History world of M-E…umm…ok I've lost myself…I know what I mean but I just can't vocalise it lol
Kitsunelover – There will be Snape getting at Gandalf soon, I assure you. Do you really think I would let Snape leave Middle-Earth before he got a chance to outshine Gandalf? Hehe!
Dark Moon – Thanks! Will do :)
Mary Snape – Well, just thought you'd like to know you'll be in the next chapter! I know, it's taken ages – sorry!
Moustachegirl – GO SLYTHERIN! Yay! I don't think this chapter has many off-putting scenes…except maybe Harry/Frodo nekkid! Lol :P
Sasery – I have a very twisted mind. Isn't it wonderful? *strokes her brain*
Charlotte Black – Ah, good old Madam Maxime – hehe, that image never fails to bring up my lunch.
I_Love_Da_Horsy – Hehe, thank you for loving it! I know, I feel sorry for the orcs too!
Aniron SauronGreenleaf-Took, the Hermione look alike – I can see that you love HP/LOTR's!!! Love the name!
Sarahduck – There shall be more Monty Python, I promise! And a budgie is a cute little domesticated bird! My friend has a pet one ^_^!
SuperDuck – Yeah apart from Physics, my exams went well. Thanks for asking! As for Ron and Hermione…well, we'll see what will happen between the two of them next week…
TUNE IN FOR MORE 'MOMENTS IN MIDDLE-EARTH' NEXT WEEK!
(…no I don't know what possessed me to write that either…)