Chapter Five - Acquaintances
Picture a scene almost half a year old. It should be fresh in the minds of our two heroes, but because of circumstances involving the need for GFs they have already forgotten. It only remains in the memories of a fifty-four year old hotel owner in Balamb.
"You stay away from her too Zell," the greying-haired man commands.
"Me?!" the hyperactive blonde objects.
"You're also the sort of person who teases people that you like," the hotel owner says with a subtle nod in the direction of a red-headed cowboy who is standing slightly behind Zell.
Irvine's eyes widen as he catches the older man's innuendo.
"I guess," he starts, with a flourish directed at his shorter blonde friend, "that's what I was like when we were kids, huh Zell?"
Zell tries to ignore the subtleties in Irvine's voice and fails miserably. Had Irvine teased him when they were younger? He wouldn't have been at all surprised.
"I guess," Zell hazards, unsure whether Irvine is searching for his friendship or not.
Neither of them realise when the third member of their group, Squall Leonhart, leaves the scene as he senses that the conversation is probably going to turn far too emotional and friendly for his liking.
"Ummm..." Irvine hesitates, rubbing the back of his head as he does when he is unsure. "I've noticed that you don't really like me much, and I was wondering if we could change that." Irvine spills out this sentence quickly as though he wants to get the conversation over and done with.
"Are you saying that you want to be my friend?" Zell asks. Both are now completely oblivious to the hotel owner who is standing with his hands on his hips and watching them with some interest.
Irvine nods, looking quite sheepish as he does so, and then Zell bursts out laughing.
" 'the hell Irvine! You're as thick as Selphie some times," he laughs. For a moment the two of them forget everything; Seifer, the war, even their own confused feelings for each other; and they laugh together, even though Irvine's still not sure what they are laughing about. Laughter is after all, contagious.
"You're my friend already Irvine," Zell laughs, wiping a tear away from the corner of his eye. Irvine just gives him a blank look. "Do you honestly think I would let anyone who I didn't consider a friend into my room? I just don't do all of that sappy friendship crap that you and Selphie seem to like so much."
It was a strange event to bring the two of them closer, but after that they barely left each other's side.
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The hotel owner in Timber wasn't nearly as friendly as the one at Balamb. He had only done the minimum that his position required; taking their money and showing them to their rooms. He didn't even take note of their names.
Irvine and Zell dumped their luggage in their room before walking out to explore the town. The hotel room wasn't quite as nice as the ones that they were used to and they were anxious to get out of them as soon as possible. Irvine and Zell made a silent agreement to make finding new accommodations one of the first things on their 'to do' list.
"So like, why are we here?" Irvine suddenly said as they passed various shops and buildings, all surrounded by Galbadian soldiers. "And I don't mean in a philosophical sense. I mean, why did you want to come to Timber of all places?"
Zell paused for a while and Irvine wondered if the blonde had even heard the question. They walked the length of a couple more streets, and Irvine noticed that Zell kept glancing at the nearby soldiers. Finally there were no soldiers around and Zell finally answered.
"I thought I could actually do something here, you know," he said, kicking a rock on the ground aimlessly. "I thought I might join a resistance group, or something, and try and help them gain their independence."
Another soldier walked past, causing Zell to be silent until they had turned a corner.
"I mean, we saved all of existence, right, so freeing a country shouldn't be too big of a deal."
Zell looked over at his friend, trying to gauge Irvine's response, but Irvine was looking elsewhere. Zell followed his gaze to discover that Irvine was watching a rather slim and attractive man in a store across the road. The man had short reddish brown hair that hung over one of his pitch black eyes and wore a simple outfit consisting of a pair of blue jeans, a cream coloured top and denim jacket. Zell admitted to himself that the man was quite gorgeous, but he was still filled with an inordinate amount of jealousy that Irvine should be watching another man. It didn't even register in his mind that Irvine was supposed to be straight.
Irvine smiled and headed in the direction of the other man, completely oblivious to the fact that Zell was practically turning red with rage beside him.
"Who is that guy?" Zell asked Irvine as they approached the man.
"Trida!" Irvine called out, causing the other man to spin around and smile at the two of them.
"Irvine! What are you doing here?" Trida asked, obviously just as surprised as Irvine by their meeting.
"It's a long story, but I'll probably be living here for a while. This is Zell," Irvine continued, finally introducing the two of them, and still acting as though he was completely oblivious to the jealousy that was starting to become too strong for Zell to keep unhidden. "Zell, this is Trida. We passed the SeeD exam together."
Zell finally relaxed as he was given a perfectly reasonable excuse as to how Irvine was acquainted with the gorgeous male. Even still, he was careful to watch the two of them as they talked. He didn't even know why he was so jealous. He didn't want anything more than friendship from Irvine, did he?
"So, what are you doing here?" Irvine continued the conversation as the three of them walked towards a café across the road to sit down and chat.
"Oh, following up the business with the Forest Racoons, mostly," Trida said, pulling up a chair and sitting down. "Those guys are working really hard at the moment. It's kind of nice to know that all our work in the exam wasn't for nothing."
"We were thinking of joining a resistance group like that," Zell mentioned, speaking for the first time since they had met Trida. "Isn't that right Irvine?"
Irvine's attention was on Trida once more. Irvine's brows furrowed as he watched the other SeeD, and Zell began to realise that he didn't like anything about the newcomer, especially the way Irvine kept paying him attention.
"What?" Trida asked as Irvine leaned closer. "Oh, the hair colour," he said, just a little too quickly in Zell's opinion. "I had it dyed as a little reward to myself for passing the SeeD exam."
Irvine nodded and smiled and said that it suited Trida wonderfully, but Zell wasn't nearly impressed. Trida's new colour was just a little too close to Irvine's for him to be happy.
The three of them ordered lunch and ate in relative companionship. Most of the conversation revolved around the SeeD exam and the Forest Racoons. Zell tried to be interested in what they were saying, but soon felt just a little left out.
Eventually a waitress came and took their plates, and after a couple more minutes of nearly pointless conversation Trida glanced at his watch and then stood up from the table.
"I'm sorry guys," he apologised, "but I've got a meeting with Hagan and Togun that I have to go to. Good luck to the two of you."
Irvine and Trida nodded a quick farewell to each other, and Zell forced himself to be courteous and farewell the SeeD politely. As soon as Trida was out of sight Irvine turned around and fixed Zell with an enquiring and mildly annoyed expression on his face.
"Why don't you like him?" he asked Zell.
"What?" Zell asked. He would have thought that Irvine had been too involved in what the brunette had been saying and doing to notice Zell's dislike of Trida. "What do you mean 'don't like him.'"
"You were practically death-staring him the entire time the three of us were together Zell," Irvine explained.
"I wasn't," Zell protested. "I just don't warm up to people as quickly as you do. I didn't like you when we met in Galbadia Garden, remember?" the blonde pointed out.
Irvine winced quite visibly as Zell reminded him of that meeting.
"It doesn't mean that I won't like him eventually," Zell said, trying to cover up the real reason he disliked Trida so much. Just as there was a different reason behind the coldness he showed Irvine when they had first met, there was another reason behind his distrust of Trida. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had begun to fall in love with Irvine a long time ago, and his love was only growing as he learned more about the sharpshooter.
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Zell and Irvine spent most of the afternoon searching around Timber for a place to stay. Unfortunately, Timber wasn't the best place in which to be hiring out rooms to people. The tenants you attracted could prove to be anything from revolutionaries to soldiers, and depending on which side you were on, either tenant could prove to be very bad news. Consequently, Zell and Irvine had only found one room that was for rent, and the owner had said quite plainly that she wouldn't have both of them staying in the same room.
The sky grew darker and cloudier as the afternoon wore on, and around sunset a light rain began to fall, sprinkling freezing cold water over the two men.
It wouldn't have been too bad if they had been able to get back to the hotel quickly, but they were on the other side of town, nearly an hour's walk away from their hotel. Cursing slightly, Irvine began looking around for some shelter, and finally ducked into the café where they had sat with Trida earlier.
He looked over at Zell to find that his companion was an absolute wreck. The gel had been washed out of Zell's hair, and his blonde bangs now flopped over his face making him look younger. His top was much thinner than Irvine's, and was now clinging to him, causing the blonde to shiver at the cold water.
At least Irvine had his jacket to help keep him warm.
Shrugging his jacket off Irvine realised that underneath, his clothes were mostly dry; at least, mostly dry compared to Zell's. Leaning over he wrapped the jacket around Zell's shoulders. Zell found himself warming up almost immediately. He wriggled his arms up to pull the jacket's thick sleeves on properly. It felt really comforting, like warm summer days in Balamb, and it smelt of Irvine.
He almost jumped as he realised something. Putting his hands in his pocket he reached in and pulled out a rather wet Sparky the Moomba and began a crude attempt to dry it on his soaking wet pants.
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Irvine laughed at Zell's concern for the fluffy Moomba. It seemed that even after years without it Zell was still attached to the small toy. He found himself feeling wonderfully happy and relieved that keeping it for Zell had proved to make the other man so happy.
Irvine watched fondly as Zell finished trying to dry Sparky. Zell sensed Irvine watching him and looked up, their eyes meeting instantly. Zell blushed and stood up completely.
It took Irvine's breath away. Zell was standing in a Timber street, wearing his jacket and holding Sparky the Moomba, exactly as he had seen the man in his dream.
He was so beautiful that Irvine was finding it almost impossible to resist. Part of him screamed that Zell was a friend, and that taking that friendship any further would be stupid, but another, larger part of him kept insisting that it would not only be all right, but would also be wonderful. The dream the night before seemed almost like an omen. Besides, Zell liked men, didn't he? There wouldn't be anything wrong with it anymore.
He took a couple of steps towards Zell, bringing his hand up to caress the side of the blonde's face. Zell closed his eyes slowly and found himself leaning into the touch. Irvine's other hand reached up to trace a finger down the broken black line on the other side of Zell's face. The blonde's eyes fluttered open as Irvine touched his scar.
They were so close now that they could feel each other's breath tingling against their lips. Zell's arms moved up to hook around Irvine's shoulders, and Irvine took this as a sign to continue.
It was impossible to tell who kissed who. Zell leaned forward just as Irvine did. Their lips pressed against each other, very gently at first, and then harder as they felt each other respond.
Irvine went deeper, plunging his tongue into Zell's mouth, exploring as much of the warmth as he possibly could. Zell moaned quite loudly with Irvine's every movement. The sharpshooter began to wonder if this was perhaps the source of Zell's worry. Perhaps Zell had just been afraid that Irvine didn't love him back. The thought filled him with hope and resolve to continue what he was doing.
He kissed Zell as passionately as he could, letting Zell know exactly how much he loved the blonde.
Zell was finding it increasingly difficult to stop his legs from collapsing out from under him. Irvine just felt so good that he almost forgot everything else that had happened to him, including Seifer. Almost.
Irvine's lips eventually broke contact with Zell's. The sharpshooter's mouth moved down, pressing kisses to Zell's jaw and neck, and then finally his mouth moved up to gently nip at the blonde's ear.
"No!" Zell screamed, jumping out of Irvine's arms. "Don't come near me!"
Irvine paused. Had he misjudged? Didn't Zell want him? He was almost sure that Zell had been enjoying it, but from the look on Zell's face the martial artist was currently somewhere between distraught and furious.
Zell couldn't believe how stupid he had been. It was going to happen all over again; the pain, the awkward encounters; and he would lose Irvine forever as a friend, all because he had been stupid enough to actually kiss the sharpshooter.
"Don't come near me," Zell said again as he turned his back on the sharpshooter. Tears were already starting to well up in his eyes at the thought of what had just happened, but he was still coherent enough to hear Irvine's footsteps as the sharpshooter began following him.
He spun around just long enough to warn the sharpshooter. "Don't follow me either. Don't follow me or I swear I'll… Just stay there. Let me go."
Zell didn't know what he thought he would do if Irvine kept following him, and he couldn't really care. All he knew was that he wanted to be alone for a while to sort everything out and come to grips with what he had just done.
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"Don't follow me or I swear I'll… Just stay there. Let me go."
I can't Zell, because…
Because every smile Zell sent his way made his heart flutter more than flirting with countless girls in Galbadia ever could. Because the last time they had been separated he had been thrown into a fit of depression that lasted almost as long as his childhood. Because his teenage life had been as screwed up as his childhood, only the sport of flirting could ever make him forget what he had lost, and then only for a few minutes. Because he felt as though he would be better off dead than live without Zell by his side.
Because I love you.
Irvine put one hesitant footstep out of the café, feeling a couple of raindrops fall on his boots as he did so. He glanced up, realising that Zell was getting further away by the second. He moved another step, and then another, until he was running after Zell, no longer caring about what Zell had said. He only cared that Zell was going away. He was going to be left alone in the rain and Zell was leaving.
Don't leave me again…
Zell was just ahead now and Irvine slowed to a walk.
Zell froze as he heard Irvine approach behind him. Without thinking he swung around, bringing his fist up in an arc.
A crack echoed through the rainy streets as Zell's fist connected with Irvine's face. The sharpshooter looked vaguely surprised for a moment before his eyes rolled up in his head and he fell backwards onto the ground. He landed in an awkward spread of arms and legs that didn't look healthy to Zell's eyes.
The blonde seemed frozen to the spot. The sight of Irvine lying there so very still disturbed him in a way that nothing else ever had. Was Irvine even breathing? It soon became clear that he wasn't, and the realisation made Zell stumble back a couple of steps. He couldn't have killed Irvine, could he? It was just one punch. It flickered through his mind that 'just one punch' had killed countless monsters before, many just as strong as his friend.
He had just killed the only person that loved him enough to follow him through anything.
"No…" he whispered, unaware that he even spoke. "Irvine, no, wake up. I didn't mean it."
Across the street a woman shouted out as she caught sight of Irvine's body lying on the ground. A very small amount of shock left Zell as he heard the sound and he realised with horror that a couple of Galbadian soldiers were rounding a corner ahead.
He considered running, but he didn't want to leave Irvine alone. Looking behind him he realised there was no hope anyway. Another few soldiers were running up behind him.
"He killed that man!" the woman screamed, pointing towards Zell. For a second Zell considered his chances of taking them all on by himself, but he was still in shock and didn't have the will or the energy. More people came out of their homes as they heard of all the commotion, and Zell knew that he didn't stand a chance.
A couple of the soldiers grabbed his hands, and began pulling him behind them as they strode towards the Timber jail. Zell could still see where Irvine lay on the floor, now surrounded by people wondering what had happened. A rather large woman moved in front of Zell, blocking his view of the sharpshooter.
Zell finally snapped out of the shock his own actions had forced him into and he began to struggle against the arms of the soldiers dragging him along the road. He had to get at least one arm free. He had to heal Irvine.
"That's enough of that!" one of the soldiers said, hitting Zell in the stomach and knocking him to the floor. "Timber doesn't tolerate murderers."
He flung one arm out desperately, hoping to be able to see Irvine clearly, but there were too many people in the way. The soldiers began to crowd around him, gathering him up again and pulling him in the direction of the jail once more.
"Full-life!" he yelled, flinging one arm out towards Irvine, hoping that the precious spell would reach its target. He kept his eyes glued to the spot where he had left Irvine, hoping to see the sharpshooter get to his feet and begin running after them.
They soon turned a corner and Zell lost sight of Irvine's body.
No-one noticed the small toy Moomba that had fallen out of Zell's pocket and now lay in the rain on the cold stone street.