Chapter X

Band played the last song...Nearer my God to Thee...

RMS Titanic had her final minutes.

One thought crossed my mind - I had to find him.

I was running like a mad person across the deck, trying to make my way through the hysterically screaming people.

I stopped one steward and asked him about Thomas. "Have you seen mr. Andrews?"

The steward was panicing, but he managed to tell me, that he had seen Thomas lastly in the first class smoking room. I thanked him and rushed away.

I reached the first class dining room, then to the Grand staircase. Some people there, dressed in their best clothes, waiting for death to take them away. I was more scared than ever...

I opened the door, which led to the smoking room. There he was; standing in front of the fireplace and looking at the painting above the mantle. His lifebelt was lying on a table near by.

"Thomas," I tried to speak, but my mouth was try. I felt like being in a bad dream - I wanted to scream, but not a word came out.

He took out his pocketwatch and checked the time, then opened the face of a mantle clock and adjusted it to the correct time, it showed 2:12 a.m.

My heart was bleading.

He had noticed me; he looked right inside me, with his eyes so sad.

"I'm sorry that I didn't build you a stronger ship," he said.

"Please, do not blame yourself," I said as I finally got my voice back.

We sat on the sofa near by; the time had come to say goodbyes...the time, which I had feared so much.

The heart was beading, hysterically inside. I couldn't hold my tears back any longer. They were falling down on my face as I was kneeling front of him; and holding his hands.

"There will be no life for me without you... do not ask me to leave," I begged him.

He helped me up and we just stood there. He seemed desperate. I cannot describe the way he looked at me; the way his eyes showed all the feelings he had inside in that very moment.

"Please, do not make it any harder," he said....and then looked at my soaked clothes. "You must be freezing."

I hadn't noticed before, that I was wearing only the ocean-blue evening gown, which seemed to be no gown anymore.

He took off his coat and put it on my shoulders. I felt his warmness. The same warm kept me alive.

Then, he held his hand over my stomach, in the same time looking right into my eyes whispering. "You have to live."
Our precious moments together were passing. His embrace was something that I wanted to hold on to forever. His breathing...so deep and in the same time, so restless.

I pressed my lips against his mouth...I was letting go my life, my soul.

"I wish I could stay," I said quietly.
"Sarah, we will meet again...in our hearts at least," he said, trying to hold back his tears. "You must go now."

I didn't told him that there weren't any lifeboats left; I didn't want him to worry about me.

I held him one last time.

His face, the way he looked at me in this final hour, as I was leaving him behind. He stood there, in front of the fireplace.

I wanted to go back, I wanted to stay with him...not to die, but to live. But then his words rushed through my mind, I couldn't betray him - he wanted me to live.

No words cannot describe the pain...the sorrow of that moment.

"You'll be safe in here....in here, in my heart" - these were my final words to him.
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The world around me was spinning, everything seemed so surreal. One moment and I might fall and stay, I said to myself.

I didn't heard the music anymore.

The stern was rising fast. People were screaming, jumping off of the ship; some running to the very end of the ship.

I thought, now or never...

I pressed his coat tightly around myself and jumped into the cold water. I needed to swim. One lifeboat was still pretty near; I knew, that I was going to make it. So I swam, with all my strenght. I found an piece of wood, flooding near by; I rested on it, since my body, all of a sudden, refused to move.

But the screams behind me, were killing even more than the cold water. I knew, that any minute and Titanic...is in the bottom of the Atlantic...taking human souls with her, and I was quite sure that I am going to be one of them.

Something exploded and the lights went down. It was an horrible sight; it will stay in my mind...forever.

Titanic was gone.

People were screaming, crying for help, begging the boats to come back; they didn't return....only one came back.

Minutes had passed, I was still drifting on the wooden piece. Everything around was strangly quiet...they had given up.

I was almost dead; my hair were frozen...I couldn't move a muscle. Then, I saw a light, an heavenly light coming towards me.

Someone was yelling, looking for survivors.

"Is anybody here?" the voice cried out.

I don't remember, how I got into that boat...but I remember lying in it; someone had put a blanket over me.
I pressed Thomas' coat tightly around myself....I almost felt, how warm it once was.

Holding the little ship figure in my hand, which he had gave me.

He was gone.

But the nearness of the sea remained.


END