Angelfirey and I are having fun doing this team work thing. This is story 3 out of 6. Hope you like. Don't expect anything to be normal. ;p
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH
~~~Poor Kuwabara
"You shot the poor helpless kitten!" wailed Kuwabara. "How could you?"
"It was easy," explained Yusuke. "I powered up my spirit energy in my index finger, yelled 'Spirit Gun' and boom!! There went the cat!" "You monster from hell!" yelled Kuwabara; who was running at Yusuke ready to pummel him into the ground, but tripped on Kurama's Rose Whip. "Oops," Kurama smiled sheepishly, "Guess I forgot to roll it back up. Sorry." Kurama was coiling his whip, when suddenly a kitten ran up to play with it. "Aww…," Boton smiled at the cute little thing. "He, he, he, he, he…," Hiei laughed evilly. Kuwabara ran towards the kitten, but Hiei got there first and took the kitten away. To Kuwabara, it looked like the kitten disappeared into thin air.
"Huh?" Kuwabara looked around frantically. "What happened to my kitty? Where'd it go?" Hiei held the kitten by the scruff of the neck and looked at it evilly. "I wonder…" "Hiei…," Kuwabara warned. Hiei lit the kitten's tail on fire.
"Kitty!" Kuwabara ran towards the cat. The cat got scared at the sudden movement Kuwabara made and ran away from him. Boton, Yusuke, and Hiei were all laughing at Kuwabara's attempts to catch the kitten. The fire got bigger and soon covered the kitten. "Kitty! Stop, drop, and roll!" "Stupid Kuwabara! The cat doesn't understand a single word you say!" The kitten stopped, dropped, and rolled. "Damn," cursed Yusuke. Hiei ran towards the cat, hold it down, and burned the cat to ashes. "Yay!" cheered Yusuke. Hiei brushed his hands off and said, "A job well done." "A little too well done, Hiei," commented Kurama.
Hiei plucked off one of the cat's legs and took a bite. "I think it tastes fine." "Ack!" Kuwabara charged at Hiei. "You demon!"
"Well, duh," Hiei responded. "You monster!" "Same difference." "You!...You!...," Kuwabara stopped in his tracks to think. Boton left to buy a coffin and tomb stone. Kurama and Yusuke were laughing and Hiei was eating the rest of the kitten. "It's good and all, but it needs barbeque sauce," commented Hiei in between bites. "Yup, tastes like chicken!" "You angel!" Hiei choked on his piece of kitten. "What…did…you…call…me?" Kuwabara grinned triumphantly. "You're an angel! That's what you are!" Bright light shone down on Hiei with a halo and a pair of angel wings, and beautiful music played. "You dare to call me an angel?!" Hiei yelled. Hiei ripped off and burned the wings, and crushed the halo. The music came to a sudden stop and the light retreated fearfully. Hiei spat a piece of kitten in Kuwabara's face. "Take that!" "My kitten! You angel!" Hiei threw another piece at Kuwabara, but this time in his mouth.
"Ack!" Kuwabara spat out the kitten. "Nasty!" Hiei mock pouted, "Aww! You didn't like your snack?" "Shut up! You shorty angel!" "Ladies, ladies please. Kuwabara there is a kitten on the other side of the street." "Thank you, Kurama. Thank you." Kuwabara ran to get the kitten. Meanwhile Kurama, Hiei, and Yusuke huddled in to discuss a plan while Kuwabara was occupied.
A random person ran by and yelled, "Silence!" Yusuke blew him up with his Spirit Gun and his guts covered Kuwabara and his kitten. "Ew!" Kuwabara frantically scraped at the guts. "Nasty!" *Whap!* One of his arms accidentally sent the kitten flying. "Kitty!" "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!! Okay Hiei!" "Medium rare or well done?" asked Hiei getting ready to use the Fist of the Mortal Flame. "Well done and don't burn it!" yelled Yusuke. "Kurama, I'll go get BBQ sauce at the store across the street." "Okay." Kurama nodded in agreement. "Don't get that nasty mesquite flavored crap," Hiei called. "Get the one with extra honey added!" Yusuke stopped and turned to stare at Hiei. "But sugar makes you hyper"
Hiei shrugged. "Your point?" "Eh. Good enough for me." Yusuke ran the store. "Fists of the Mortal Flame!" Hiei started flaming the kitten while Kuwabara watched in horror. "My kitten!" Kuwabara charged up his Spirit Sword. "Die you angel!"
Boton came back. "Okay, I've got the coffin and the tombstone. What'd I missed?" Yusuke cane back with the BBQ sauce. "Oh, nothing much." "Rose Whip!" Kurama's whip tied around Kuwabara and pulled him away from Hiei and the carnage he was about to begin. Hiei poured the BBQ sauce over the kitten and licked his lips, "Yum!" "Ack! My kitten!" Kuwabara fell to the ground sobbing. "You wanna join us Boton?" asked Yusuke. Kurama was tying his whip in a big knot around Kuwabara. "No," Boton shook her head. "I feel kinda bad for him.
"You shouldn't," Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei answered in unison. "I'll set up the picnic," said Kurama. Hiei kept teasing Kuwabara by showing him the 'well done' kitten. "I'll set up the food! Hiei give me the kitten already," called Yusuke. Hiei pulled the kitten out Yusuke's reach and stuck out his tongue. "No!" "Why not?!" "I'm not done with it!" "Stop playing with the food Hiei," Kurama came back. Hiei gave Kurama a look. "Why?" "It's time to eat. Come on. Drag Kuwabara so he can see his kitten being eaten." "Ok!" "Man Kurama. I never knew you could be cold." "What Yusuke? I'm a fox. What'd you expect?" "Good point. Hey Boton, are you sure you don't want to join us?" again asked Yusuke.
Boton flung herself in front of Kuwabara. "No! I can't let him see this! I will prevent this at all costs!" Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, you don't have to help. Sheesh! It was just a question."
Hiei cut up the kitten into tree sections evenly. "Good, there's enough for everyone." Hiei nodded in approval. "Ummmm…" Yusuke backed away from Hiei. "We weren't planning on eating the kitten…just you." "Kurama is eating with me. The rest is for Kuwabara." "But he won't eat it." "Yusuke…you haven't learned a thing have you?" "Nope." "I can force it down his throat. But I need you to hold back Boton. Okay?" "Sure." Yusuke sat down and watched Hiei and Kurama finish there meal.
"Kurama!" Kuwabara screamed. "How could you? I didn't eat your plants!" Kurama paused for a moment with a bite of kitten inches from his mouth. "You've got a point." Hiei shoved the kitten into Kurama's mouth. "No, he doesn't." "Mmm… Tastes like chiken." Yusuke licked his lips. "Yum!" "How do you know what chicken tastes like?" asked Hiei, "You aren't eating any!" "It looks so tasty." Yusuke was now drooling everywhere. Boton took out her oar and whacked Yusuke in the back of the head. "Don't ask for any Yusuke!"
Yusuke rubbed the back of his head. "Ow! That hurt! I wasn't gonna ask for any and besides its not real kitten! It's chicken!" "It's not?" Kuwabara breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good. You guys were scaring me!"
Kurama grinned. "Don't worry, Kuwabara! We wouldn't really do anything like that!" Hiei looked up from his kit- err, chicken. "We wouldn't?" Kurama rolled his eyes. "Correction: Yusuke and I wouldn't do such a thing." "Hn. Everyone knows I would-" Hiei was cut off by Kurama's handover his mouth, "So you see Boton, we were just kidding." *Whap!* Boton's oar smacked Kurama's head. "That's still a mean joke!" "You fool!" *Whap!* Boton hit Hiei's face. "You fool! How dare you hit me! Why it was a kitten we were eating!" "Hiei…," Kurama and Yusuke said sweat dropping all over their faces.
"My kitten!" Kuwabara started sobbing again. Boton patted Kuwabara's back, "There, there, Kuwabara, its okay." Yusuke twitched. "Boton is really starting to get on my nerves! Hiei?" "Yes?" "Could you do a favor for me? It involves more suffering…" "What do you want me to do?" Yusuke lead Hiei behind a tree to discuss a plan for Boton's suffering.
To be continued in 'Poor Boton'
There you go peoples. Oh, and no animals were harmed. I'm an animal lover myself. It's just a parody sorta. Let me know what you think! Oh! And 'Poor Boton' will be updated by Angelfirey. She's in my favorite authors section. R/R!