A/N: Here there is a story. So you should read it. And enjoy it. It features 4, I repeat, 4 predators! And Kain will grow dreadlocks!

Kain: The hell I won't!

We'll see, young one, we'll see.

Kain: Who are you calling young? I'm older than you!

Read the story, so I can bust Kain's eyes.

****************************************************************

Kain is sitting at a bar. He's drinking a beer.

Kain: Thanks God I don't have to do any parodies right now.

A bunch of idiots with shotguns run in.

Thug: ALL OF YOUR CASH, RIGHT NOW!

The thugs rob people, and eventually, one of them get to Kain.

Thug: All of your cash, goth-boy!

Kain: I'd advise you to get out of my face.

Thug: Or what? Are you gonna pour your drink in my face?

Kain: Good idea. (does so)

'Nother thug: SHOOT HIM!

Kain whips out his blood-reaver, and turns into mist. (makes him hard to spot), and throws an energy bolt at one thug. The thug explodes.

Thug: Let's get the hell out of here, now!

They run towards the exit. The front thug gets impaled on the reaver. Kain materialises, and throws a flay at the next. The rest of the thugs run off.

Kain: Damn bastards! Now I have to pay for a new beer.

He goes to the bar, and orders another beer.

************************************************************

The 3 remaining thugs are running through an alley, unaware of Kain not following them. A net is shot towards the front thug, who falls over, and knocks the other 2 down with him.

?: Nice shot, Ed.

??: BOOYAH!

???: shall we do something about those humans, or should we keep talking?

????: ME SMASH THINGS!

?: Shut up.

?, ??, ??? and ???? moves towards the thugs.

*****************************************************************

News reporter: A serial killer with a strange attraction to taking heads is loose in the city. The police has dubbed him the 'Head-hunter'. They don't have much originality. The victims are currently being identified, but since their heads are missing, it's hard. And now for something completely different..

******************************************************************

Kain: Damn Monty Python ripoff.. (turns off the TV) I'll probably get blamed for that, too.

He feels a light breese.

Kain: DAMNIT! I'm not in the mood for dealing with psychotic serial killers! Where's my reaver? Oh yeah, on my back.

?: Do not be frightened.

Kain: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

He goes psycho with the blood-reaver, cutting up anything that comes close to him. Suddenly, he gets slammed in the back.

???: I thought he'd keep doing that forever.

Kain looks up at his "guests". Well, he can't see them. Suddenly, 4 predators materialise in his living room.

Kain: What-the-hell.....

?: We are here to request your help, oh psychopathic one.

Kain: And you guys are?

Predator 3, formerly known as ???: We are predators. Hunters from a distant-

Predator 1, formerly known as ?: and unknown!

Predator 3: planet, we hunt heads.

Kain: So you guys are the "head-hunter"?

Predator 1: That would be "head-hunters".

Kain: Whatever. Why are you contacting me?

Predator 1: We need your help with an enemy we have.

Kain: And why should I help you with that?

Predator 3: Because we have weapons, that could easily take you out.

Kain: My blood-reaver can be used as a lightsaber. It will repel any kind of energy attack.

Predator 2, who's name is actually Ed: BOOYAH!

Kain: What's wrong with him?

Predator 3: He was blown up, while watching the Jamie Kennedy Experiment. Damn near killed him.

Kain: I.... See.... So, what are y'all names?

Predator 1: Jamie, actually.

Ed: BOOYAH!

Jamie: His name is Ed.

Predator 3: I'm Sammy.

Kain: You're female?

Sammy: You got a problem with that? (whips out her speargun)

Kain: No no! No problem at all!

Sammy: (eyes him suspiciously)

Predator 4, formerly known as ????: ME SMASH THINGS!

Ed: BOOYAH!

Jamie: His name is Jobie.

Kain: So how come you all look THAT different?

Jamie: Different player classes.

Kain: Uh?

Sammy: It has something to do with the games, that this story is based on.

Kain: Riiiiiiiiight... So what "player classes" are you guys?

Jamie: I'm an assault predator.

Ed: BOOYAH!

Kain: Can't you say anything else?

Ed: I can, but I choose not to. BOOYAH!

Jamie: He's a standard predator.

Sammy: I'm a light predator.

Jobie: ME HEAVY PREDATOR! ME SMASH THINGS! UGGA-BUGGA!

Kain: How come he talks like that?

Jamie: He has a speech impediment.

Kain: I believe it! He sounds like Magnus. Oh wait, he just speaks loudly in third person....

Ed: BOOYAH!

Kain: I can tell we have ourselves a running joke..

Sammy: What's a running joke?

Kain: I think it's best you don't know that.

Jamie: Fair enough. Anyway, we still need your help.

Kain: What would it entail?

Sammy: First, we need to get you equipped.

Kain: I can go with the mask, BUT I'LL BE DAMNED, IF I GET DREADLOCKS!

Ed: BOOYAH!

Kain: Shut up.

Jamie: Here's a mask, a speargun, a combi-stick, wristblades you do not need, so we won't give them to you, a plasmacaster, a disc, and a plasma gun. Also, you must have a cloaking device, an energy sift, and a healing device.

Kain: I don't need a cloaking device, or a healing device. I get healed by sucking blood, and I can use my mist form to cloak myself.

Sammy: You still need wrist-attached components, so you can control your equipment. It also provides you with a charge-emitter, to open electronic doors.

Kain: What does this hunting mask do?

Jamie: It comes with 4 vision modes. Normal, which will allow you to see like you do now, thermal, which will allow you to see humans in particular.

Kain: How particular?

Sammy: It will make them stand out, like a black guy in a party for white- people-only.

Jamie: Electromagnetic, which will allow you to see aliens, and Predtech view, which will allow you to see predators.

Kain: Aliens?

Sammy: Deadly creatures. They can crawl on walls, pounce at you at an incredible speed, eat your brain, whack you with their tail, which can immobilise you with poison, and kill you fast with their claws. But they have the intelligence of an animal. You can fool them. Just remember, they're smarter than regular animals.

Kain: Do they come in player classes, too?

Jamie: They start out as small creatures, that look like spiders, called facehuggers. They impregnate your face, and not long after, the chestburster burst out of your chest. If these things eat enough food, they grow up to be fully sized aliens. Depending on what they facehugged, they will grow up to become a drone alien, a runner alien, or a predalien. Besides those classes, there's praetorians, designed to protect the queen alien, that gives birth to the facehuggers. She is bigger than the rest, and the most deadly.

Kain: Can they impregnate you guys? You use masks, after all.

Sammy: Strangely enough, they can.

Kain: Bizarre.

Ed: BOOYAH!

Kain: I'm calling you BOOYAH from now on.

Ed: BOOYAH!

Kain: So what do you need him and the neanderthal for?

Jamie: Ed is the most diverse of us. And Jobie is our muscle man. He can't be used for many other things, though.

Sammy: Oh, another advantage of the hunting mask is, you can zoom in on things.

Kain: I see. And what would the benefit of that be?

Jamie: Your speargun can hit from any distance.

Kain: Aha. I don't really think I'll need the plasmacaster, and combi stick. I can throw energy bolts, and the blood-reaver can pierce armor.

Jamie: So can the combistick.

Kain: Yeah, but I'm faster with the reaver.

Sammy: You need to take trophies, by the way.

Kain: Why?

Jamie: Gives you more spears for your spear gun.

Kain: How does that work?

Jamie: Never you mind. Just trust it works.

Kain: You guys sure rule at giving tips.

Sammy: Look, just because COAD is ignorant, doesn't mean you have to go all sarcastic at us.

Kain: So, which one of you guys are most intelligent? Sammy, or Jamie?

Sammy: Ed would be, if he said anything else than BOOYAH.

Kain: So besides him, who's the most intelligent one?

Jamie: Sammy.

Sammy: By the way, Kain, never kill defenseless humans, or pregnant women.

Kain: Why not?

Jamie: Honour of the hunter!

Kain: You're chivalrous?

Sammy: Yep.

Kain: I've never heard of a chivalrous female before. Oh well. So, what's the problem, that makes you come and disturb my evening, anyway?

Jamie: A crazy scientist has captured 5 alien queens. He's breeding aliens like you wouldn't believe.

Kain: Where does he get hosts, then?

Sammy: He's used religious fundamentalists.

Kain: Problem being?

Jamie: He has run out of those people, and will start to use innocent people, as hosts.

Kain: What's his plans?

Jamie: He's gonna unleash his army of aliens upon this world.

Kain: Why?

Jamie: His motives are unknown so far.

Kain: How did you find out, what his plans are?

Sammy: Ed sneaked into the scientist's lab, and overheard the dialogue, while cloaked. He relayed the information to us.

Kain: All he ever does is say BOOYAH! How was he capable of informing you?

Sammy: He can write it down.

Kain: You guys are weird. So why do you need my help, anyway?

Jamie: Your abilities in the area of fighting can be beneficial to us. Plus, you know more about humans and this world than we do.

Sammy: Which reminds me, the scientist has a huge army of soldiers, that can help him, while he's getting his army of insects bred.

Kain: Well, if you can go invisible, does it really matter?

Jamie: For humans, they have advanced weapons.

Kain: Sucks to be me, then. Okay, I'll do it. So, how do you guys look under the masks?

Ed, Jamie, and Jobie remove their masks.

Kain: HOLY SHIT! YOU GUYS ARE UGLY! How come Sammy hasn't removed her mask?

Sammy: I never remove my mask.

Kain: So, you are the ugliest one?

Kain then gets a combistick slammed into his groin.

Kain: Ouch.

And so, the chapter ended, with Kain's groin being smashed.

****************************************************************

Now, I want the usual 5 reviews.