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Chapter 15: A Past Lost – and a Future Gained

I watch in sorrow as she stands before Kyo and I, her head drooped forward and tears flowing endlessly from her eyes.

Her face downcast, she says, "I'm so sorry, Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun, I – I couldn't do it after all, I couldn't find the way to break the curse. I'm nothing more than a failure, Ka-san."

Looking upset, Kyo says, "Tohru."

She glances up at him and he takes hold of her hand.

With a kind look, he says, "Please, never think that way, and, Tohru, your mother certainly wouldn't either, I'm sure she's so proud of you."

I take hold of her other hand and say, "Tohru-san, you've done so much for us. We are so fortunate to know you, and to have someone care so much about each of us."

She lifts her head and smiles through her tears as she says, "Thank you, Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun."

I carefully place the cup on the table and, in a serious tone, say, "Honda-san."

She looks up with a smile and says, "Yes, Sohma-kun?"

"Those are lovely ribbons in your hair."

She picks one up and looks at it with a tender expression as she says, "It's silly really, I don't remember when or how I got them, but they are still very special to me."

"Honda-san, I can tell you the truth about the ribbons."

Startled by my comment, she moves her hand from the ribbon, I watch as it slips back into the tresses of her hair.

In a confused tone, she says, "The truth?"

"Is that the only thing that you have trouble remembering?"

She blushes and looks downward as she answers, "No, my – my memory is so hazy from the time during my high school years. I – I remember my times with Kaa-san, but, the memories from after her passing are so few and difficult to recall."

"Honda-san, after your mother passed away, you went to live with your grandfather."

With a surprised look, she nods her head yes.

I smile as I look at her and continue, "But, repairs needed to be done on his home, and, not wanting to impose on your friends, you decided to pitch a tent in the woods and live there. One day, as you walked to school, you happened upon a home with stones painted in the forms of the animals of the Chinese Zodiac drying on the porch, and you met the inhabitants of that home, Sohma Shigure, and your classmate, Sohma Yuki."

Startled, she says, quietly, "Sohma Yuki."

I nod my head yes and say, "Because of the dangers of living in a tent, you chose, in exchange for doing housework and preparing meals, to live in this home with these two, and another inhabitant, Sohma Kyo. While you were there, you met and befriended so many Sohmas, and touched each of their lives."

She looks at me, her eyes starting to tear, "I – I was part of a family?"

I take hold of her hand and say, "You are still."

The tears overflow as she says, "To think, the memories I have lost are of what I wanted so much – to belong – to love and be loved, as part of a family."

I run my other hand through her hair and the length of a ribbon.

"Honda-san, every year, you would give us all chocolate for Valentine's Day, and, these ribbons, I gave them to you for White Day one year. It makes me so happy to know that they are still precious to you."

She looks up through her tears and says, "Sohma-kun."

I gently wipe away her tears as I say, "All of us, we've started our lives anew, freed from the person who took you away from us, and your memories from you. More than anything, we'd like to start our new journey with you at our side."

She looks pained and turns her face away as she says, "I wish – I wish so much that I could remember."

I lean forward, place a hand on her face and turn it towards me.

"That's all right, what's important is that you are you. Honda-san should go at her own pace."

She looks surprised at first, my last comment must have affected her.

With an expression of hope, she answers, "I'd – I'd like to be part of the Sohma family."

Casting aside my usual formal nature around Tohru-san, I stand up, walk over, and embrace her as I say in a whisper, "There is nothing that any of us could want more."

As I hold her in my arms, I realize that I have not yet transformed.

I tighten my embrace as I continue, "It's a good time for us to start again, after all, it's a new day, isn't it, Tohru-san?"

She returns the embrace and answers, "Yes, it certainly is, Yuki-kun."