Kudos.
Dark-Sephy: I hope to live up to that.
Mortalsora: I'm also waiting for that movie to come out. I hope they do it well, though. And that Raziel thing you suggested might be included.
Flame of Corruption: Whoops, there it goes again. Your attention is more slippery, than a piece of soap. (Just kidding)
Wolfboy1988: Well, it WAS already done with the games. I just thought of bringing Kain into it.
TTT: Hope you can get off the floor. I'm glad you like it.
Mikoto Zoku: Well, some persons probably do need some background info.
Sorry for not writing in such a long time. My internet was messed up.
Here's some new shit for y'all!
***********************************************************
In a lab in New York, some scientists are researching some facehuggers. In the lab, there's also other animals. The scientists leave, and five humanoid creatures decloak.
Kain: Well, I un-misted, so............
Shut up.
Kain: So what are we doing here?
Jamie: We need to destroy those things, before they get inflicted upon hosts.
All of the glasses gets destroyed, so the facehuggers are on the loose.
Sammy: Ah, Hell!
One facehugger jumps for Kain. He calmly catches it by it's tail, then swings it around like a lasso. He lets it go, and it facehugs a monkey.
Jamie: Okay, how the hell did you do that?
Kain: I've trained myself for any type of situation.
Ed: BOOYAH!
Jobie: ME SMASH SPIDERTHINGS! UGGA BUGGA!
Kain sees something rush by in a hurry. He can't quite make out what it is, though.
Kain: Come on! It was so obviously another predator!
Can it! You're spoiling the story.
The other 4 predators switch their predtech view on, just to see a predator run out of the door.
Jamie: Odd. I didn't think a predator would do something like that.
Suddenly, a black alien (who's small in comparison to other aliens) runs in, and humps Kain's leg.
Kain: So, this is what it was all about..........
Jamie: Why is it so little?
Ed: BOOYAH!
Kain: Is this how dangerous they get?
Sammy: No. Usually, they'd rip you a new asshole.
Jamie: It must have been made by a dog.
Sammy: That explains the humping.
Kain: 0_o
A huge rumble is heard. The 5 predators- Well, 4 predators, and a vampire- look out in the hallway, and see an ocean of aliens coming along. Well, they must be pushed by something, because they're all jammed, it seems.
Kain: Okay, anyone has a rocket launcher?
Sammy: I have remote bombs.
Kain: Then use 'em, Bitch!
Sammy then throws her disc into his groin.
Kain: JESUS, THAT DOES HURT!
Ed and Jamie starts shooting the aliens with the plasmapistol (Extended Universe), while Sammy throws remote bombs (EU) at them. Jobie just bashes them with his combistick. Kain makes giant meteors appear in his hands, then throws it at them.
Kain: Hey, these are some easy bastards to kill. (gets jumped by 11 normal aliens, 8 runner aliens, and 3 predaliens)
Ed: BOOYAH! (twirls a predalien around with his combistick)
Jamie: Take this, suckas!
He then blows up a bunch with the plasmacaster.
Kain (muffled): Help me!
Sammy: I'll handle this!
She jumps into the fray, with a combistick she stole from Jobie. She smashes aliens to the left and to the right, and probably doesn't care about not hitting Kain.
Kain: Watch where you swing that thing! I'm glad Vorador ain't here.
A bunch of marines run in, armed with pulserifles. The predators cloak, and Kain becomes mist. The aliens get killed by the marines.
Marine 1 (Harrison): So why are we in a story, that takes place in 2004, when we're from far out in the future, and why do we already have those kinds of pulserifles?
Marine 2 (Johnson): I heard, that it's because the author's insane.
Marine 3 (Ichiro): That would explain why the aliens got jammed.
Marine 4 (Billy, from Predator 1): There's something else out there, hunting us. And it ain't a man..........
Kain walks out of his mist form.
Kain: I'm gonna kill you for that comment! RAAAAARGH!
Sammy: Dumbass.
Kain slaughters the marines, then steals their heads.
Kain: ROAR!
Jamie: Something's not right. Why was Billy here, and why do they pack such firepower, when it's only 2004?
Kain: Better get used to the fact, that stories by this author, does absolutely not make any sense.
Sammy: It doesn't?
The suicide squad from Life Of Brian runs in, and impales themselves.
Leader: That.......... Showed them.......... Huh? (dies)
Sammy: I see.
A bunch of diskettes run in, and format themselves.
Sammy: YOU'VE MADE YOUR FREAKING POINT, JACKASS! Hudson, come here........ Oh wait, wrong movie.
Speaker: Exosuits to sector 12.
Jamie: Shit, that's here!
Kain: Exosuits?
Jamie: Robotic suits, with heavy weaponry.
Kain: That means we gotta get out of here, doesn't it?
Jamie: It does, unless you wanna take on a flamethrower-lasergun-minigun- rocketlaunching badass of a machine.
Sammy (scouting ahead): 4 machines, actually.
Kain: Can they see us, if we're invisible?
Sammy: Only if we move.
Speaker: Aliens in sector 12.
Kain: We don't have much choice, do we?
Sammy: Nope.
They run, they run to the hills!
Kain: Enough with the bad music jokes!
As they turn a corner, 4 black aliens with weirdly shaped heads confront them.
Kain: What the hell is that?
Jamie: Praetorians.
Kain (whipping out the reaver): BRING IT ON!
He slices and dices and jises (hey wait, that's not a word........) the praetorians, and acid is standing out in all directions. It burns a hole in the floor.
Kain: Oh shit. (falls a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way down)
Alien queen: *hisses*
Kain: Isn't it a little early for a showdown?
The queen whacks him hard in the face with her tail, sending him up through the hole again.
Kain: That hurts almost as much as Sammy nailing my groin with that damn disc of hers.
Marines: There's movement!
Kain: GOD-DAMN! (runs like hell)
Marine with rocket launcher: Eat homing rocket, biatch! (fires a targeting rocket)
Kain: Ha! I can dodge that easily. (dodges to the side)
The rocket stops right at the spot, then flies after Kain.
Kain: What-the-fu- Huh? Damn censors.
There's no such thing as freedom of speech in my stories. Only for me.
Kain: Don't want Rage Against The Machine bitching against you, huh?
They broke up, Kain.
Kain: What?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!
Kain's predradio: Kain? Jamie here. Get to the upper level fast!
Kain: What do you want me to do? Uppercut an alien, so he acid bleeds through? I'm on the damn 5th floor, damnit!
Sammy: Just get your ugly ass up here!
Jamie: We've really started cursing, huh?
Kain: It's a PG-13 rated story, anyway. We can get away with it.
Sammy: Just follow the damn stairs!
Kain does so. He ends up on a landing field on the outside.
Kain: Where did those bastards go?
Then, in a total ripoff of Aliens, the alien queen appears in the doorway.
Kain: Aw shit!
Again ripping Aliens off, the predship appears, and Kain jumps on it.
Kain: I've seen that movie. She's probably outside on the ship.
Sammy: Ed, Jobie. Deal with the queen.
Ed: BOOYAH!
They go out on the ship, and the sound of something heavy dropping off is heard.
Kain: Was that the queen?
Jobie: NO! ME FALL OFF! (jumps back on)
Kain: Okay, how strong is that dude?
Jamie: He's as strong as he's stupid.
Kain: So, getting in a fight with him would be helluva dumb?
Sammy: As dumb as him.
Jamie: So, where did all those aliens come from, anyway? There was only 20 facehuggers in the lab, and no aliens grow that fast.
Sammy: Maybe they were already grown.
Kain: Probably.
Jamie: Wouldn't that require a queen?
Freddie Mercury: Did someone call for the band?
Kain: I thought you were dead, dude!
Freddie Mercury: Who wants to live forever? (walks out)
Kain: Riiiiiight.
Jamie: There isn't any queen in that complex, so where would the eggs for that sea of aliens come from?
Kain: Well, I found a queen down at the bottom of that acidburned hole.
Sammy: What?! Why would there be a queen down there?
Kain: Beats me. Literally. It whacked me with it's tail.
Sammy: Hah! Looks like you were bitchslapped!
Kain: But I'm not a woman!
Sammy: With that hair, I'd be willing to take the bet.
Kain: It's better than your pigtails.
Sammy: THOSE ARE DREADLOCKS, DAMNIT!
She smashes Kain's groin, by kicking it.
Kain: HOLY SHIT! DAMN, IT HURTS!
*****************************************************
So, give me 5 bloody reviews. And don't be afraid to give me more.
Dark-Sephy: I hope to live up to that.
Mortalsora: I'm also waiting for that movie to come out. I hope they do it well, though. And that Raziel thing you suggested might be included.
Flame of Corruption: Whoops, there it goes again. Your attention is more slippery, than a piece of soap. (Just kidding)
Wolfboy1988: Well, it WAS already done with the games. I just thought of bringing Kain into it.
TTT: Hope you can get off the floor. I'm glad you like it.
Mikoto Zoku: Well, some persons probably do need some background info.
Sorry for not writing in such a long time. My internet was messed up.
Here's some new shit for y'all!
***********************************************************
In a lab in New York, some scientists are researching some facehuggers. In the lab, there's also other animals. The scientists leave, and five humanoid creatures decloak.
Kain: Well, I un-misted, so............
Shut up.
Kain: So what are we doing here?
Jamie: We need to destroy those things, before they get inflicted upon hosts.
All of the glasses gets destroyed, so the facehuggers are on the loose.
Sammy: Ah, Hell!
One facehugger jumps for Kain. He calmly catches it by it's tail, then swings it around like a lasso. He lets it go, and it facehugs a monkey.
Jamie: Okay, how the hell did you do that?
Kain: I've trained myself for any type of situation.
Ed: BOOYAH!
Jobie: ME SMASH SPIDERTHINGS! UGGA BUGGA!
Kain sees something rush by in a hurry. He can't quite make out what it is, though.
Kain: Come on! It was so obviously another predator!
Can it! You're spoiling the story.
The other 4 predators switch their predtech view on, just to see a predator run out of the door.
Jamie: Odd. I didn't think a predator would do something like that.
Suddenly, a black alien (who's small in comparison to other aliens) runs in, and humps Kain's leg.
Kain: So, this is what it was all about..........
Jamie: Why is it so little?
Ed: BOOYAH!
Kain: Is this how dangerous they get?
Sammy: No. Usually, they'd rip you a new asshole.
Jamie: It must have been made by a dog.
Sammy: That explains the humping.
Kain: 0_o
A huge rumble is heard. The 5 predators- Well, 4 predators, and a vampire- look out in the hallway, and see an ocean of aliens coming along. Well, they must be pushed by something, because they're all jammed, it seems.
Kain: Okay, anyone has a rocket launcher?
Sammy: I have remote bombs.
Kain: Then use 'em, Bitch!
Sammy then throws her disc into his groin.
Kain: JESUS, THAT DOES HURT!
Ed and Jamie starts shooting the aliens with the plasmapistol (Extended Universe), while Sammy throws remote bombs (EU) at them. Jobie just bashes them with his combistick. Kain makes giant meteors appear in his hands, then throws it at them.
Kain: Hey, these are some easy bastards to kill. (gets jumped by 11 normal aliens, 8 runner aliens, and 3 predaliens)
Ed: BOOYAH! (twirls a predalien around with his combistick)
Jamie: Take this, suckas!
He then blows up a bunch with the plasmacaster.
Kain (muffled): Help me!
Sammy: I'll handle this!
She jumps into the fray, with a combistick she stole from Jobie. She smashes aliens to the left and to the right, and probably doesn't care about not hitting Kain.
Kain: Watch where you swing that thing! I'm glad Vorador ain't here.
A bunch of marines run in, armed with pulserifles. The predators cloak, and Kain becomes mist. The aliens get killed by the marines.
Marine 1 (Harrison): So why are we in a story, that takes place in 2004, when we're from far out in the future, and why do we already have those kinds of pulserifles?
Marine 2 (Johnson): I heard, that it's because the author's insane.
Marine 3 (Ichiro): That would explain why the aliens got jammed.
Marine 4 (Billy, from Predator 1): There's something else out there, hunting us. And it ain't a man..........
Kain walks out of his mist form.
Kain: I'm gonna kill you for that comment! RAAAAARGH!
Sammy: Dumbass.
Kain slaughters the marines, then steals their heads.
Kain: ROAR!
Jamie: Something's not right. Why was Billy here, and why do they pack such firepower, when it's only 2004?
Kain: Better get used to the fact, that stories by this author, does absolutely not make any sense.
Sammy: It doesn't?
The suicide squad from Life Of Brian runs in, and impales themselves.
Leader: That.......... Showed them.......... Huh? (dies)
Sammy: I see.
A bunch of diskettes run in, and format themselves.
Sammy: YOU'VE MADE YOUR FREAKING POINT, JACKASS! Hudson, come here........ Oh wait, wrong movie.
Speaker: Exosuits to sector 12.
Jamie: Shit, that's here!
Kain: Exosuits?
Jamie: Robotic suits, with heavy weaponry.
Kain: That means we gotta get out of here, doesn't it?
Jamie: It does, unless you wanna take on a flamethrower-lasergun-minigun- rocketlaunching badass of a machine.
Sammy (scouting ahead): 4 machines, actually.
Kain: Can they see us, if we're invisible?
Sammy: Only if we move.
Speaker: Aliens in sector 12.
Kain: We don't have much choice, do we?
Sammy: Nope.
They run, they run to the hills!
Kain: Enough with the bad music jokes!
As they turn a corner, 4 black aliens with weirdly shaped heads confront them.
Kain: What the hell is that?
Jamie: Praetorians.
Kain (whipping out the reaver): BRING IT ON!
He slices and dices and jises (hey wait, that's not a word........) the praetorians, and acid is standing out in all directions. It burns a hole in the floor.
Kain: Oh shit. (falls a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way down)
Alien queen: *hisses*
Kain: Isn't it a little early for a showdown?
The queen whacks him hard in the face with her tail, sending him up through the hole again.
Kain: That hurts almost as much as Sammy nailing my groin with that damn disc of hers.
Marines: There's movement!
Kain: GOD-DAMN! (runs like hell)
Marine with rocket launcher: Eat homing rocket, biatch! (fires a targeting rocket)
Kain: Ha! I can dodge that easily. (dodges to the side)
The rocket stops right at the spot, then flies after Kain.
Kain: What-the-fu- Huh? Damn censors.
There's no such thing as freedom of speech in my stories. Only for me.
Kain: Don't want Rage Against The Machine bitching against you, huh?
They broke up, Kain.
Kain: What?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!
Kain's predradio: Kain? Jamie here. Get to the upper level fast!
Kain: What do you want me to do? Uppercut an alien, so he acid bleeds through? I'm on the damn 5th floor, damnit!
Sammy: Just get your ugly ass up here!
Jamie: We've really started cursing, huh?
Kain: It's a PG-13 rated story, anyway. We can get away with it.
Sammy: Just follow the damn stairs!
Kain does so. He ends up on a landing field on the outside.
Kain: Where did those bastards go?
Then, in a total ripoff of Aliens, the alien queen appears in the doorway.
Kain: Aw shit!
Again ripping Aliens off, the predship appears, and Kain jumps on it.
Kain: I've seen that movie. She's probably outside on the ship.
Sammy: Ed, Jobie. Deal with the queen.
Ed: BOOYAH!
They go out on the ship, and the sound of something heavy dropping off is heard.
Kain: Was that the queen?
Jobie: NO! ME FALL OFF! (jumps back on)
Kain: Okay, how strong is that dude?
Jamie: He's as strong as he's stupid.
Kain: So, getting in a fight with him would be helluva dumb?
Sammy: As dumb as him.
Jamie: So, where did all those aliens come from, anyway? There was only 20 facehuggers in the lab, and no aliens grow that fast.
Sammy: Maybe they were already grown.
Kain: Probably.
Jamie: Wouldn't that require a queen?
Freddie Mercury: Did someone call for the band?
Kain: I thought you were dead, dude!
Freddie Mercury: Who wants to live forever? (walks out)
Kain: Riiiiiight.
Jamie: There isn't any queen in that complex, so where would the eggs for that sea of aliens come from?
Kain: Well, I found a queen down at the bottom of that acidburned hole.
Sammy: What?! Why would there be a queen down there?
Kain: Beats me. Literally. It whacked me with it's tail.
Sammy: Hah! Looks like you were bitchslapped!
Kain: But I'm not a woman!
Sammy: With that hair, I'd be willing to take the bet.
Kain: It's better than your pigtails.
Sammy: THOSE ARE DREADLOCKS, DAMNIT!
She smashes Kain's groin, by kicking it.
Kain: HOLY SHIT! DAMN, IT HURTS!
*****************************************************
So, give me 5 bloody reviews. And don't be afraid to give me more.