Kudos:
Wolfboy1988: SNL? What's that?
TTT (I hope you don't mind me calling you that): Sorry about the chair. Damn, I didn't know it'd have that effect.
Mortalsora: Well, you know he's a dumbass, so he'll never learn to wear one, if I know him correctly.
Mikoto Zoku: He probably will. It's my fic, after all. The New York thing........ Bizarre idea I had.
Ratface: Well, making fun of my own mistakes is something I enjoy, so...........
Covenant Elite: You like that? That's good.
A/N: (singing) I got Defiiiianceeeeee!!! BWAHAHAHAHAH! And, I've finished it, too. IN YOUR FACE, AMERICA!!
Beware of Defiance spoilers! Unless you've finished it, you might get the story spoiled, from reading this. So don't say I didn't warn you. Oh hell, I'll do it again.
BEWARE OF DEFIANCE SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ******************************************************************
Kain wants to kill some people, to take out his frustration. Where does he get that frustration from, you ask? He's in this fic. That would piss anyone off.
Moebius: Hello.
Kain: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Notyouagain!
Moebius: So how come you don't like me?
Kain: One word: Milk.
Moebius: Ah yes, want some?
Kain: BYAAAAARHHH!!!!! MO'FO'!
Kain then levitates Moebius with his telekinetic abilities, then pulls him towards him, impaling him on his reaver.
Moebius: Woah! Defiance flashback!
He then dies for god knows what time.
Kain: Well, they say the coward dies a thousand times.......
A very small spider crawls past.
Kain: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!! !!!!!!! (jumps approximately 5 kilometers in the air)
COAD: I wonder if he's dead, then.
Kain: SHUT UP! (sings) I'm an asshole........
Ed: BOOYAH!
Kain: You shut up, too.
Ed then thwaps Kain with his combistick.
Kain: Okay, that's it! You're going down!
He jumps at Ed, trying to swipe him with the reaver. Ed ducks down, and slams the combistick into Kain's groin.
Sammy: Hey, that's my job!
Okay, both of them are now fighting Kain.
Kain: I have taken on 5 demons. 2 freaking predators should be no problem.
He tries to do the first combo you learn in Defiance, on the 2 predators, but they get out of the way. They try to slam him down..........
Kain: But fails! HAHAHAHAH!!!
.......... And succeeds.
Kain: What?! OWWWWWW! AUCH! GOD, THAT DOES HURT!
Sammy: That'll teach ya!
Raziel pops in.
Raziel: Hello.
Kain: Yo, Raz-man, can you help me with those bastards?
Raziel: Sure. I take the girl, and you take the other one.
Kain (muttering): Good thing you're groin is gone.....
Raziel: What?
Kain: Nothing, nothing.
So they fight, and Raziel is lucky to not have a groin. Hey, that sounds weird...........
Raziel: Dumbass.
Suddenly, he is swept away by an alien.
Kain: The hell?! We gotta save him!
Sammy: He's about to be "impregnated". You can't do anything about it.
Kain: So, what, we're gonna have a winged alien?
Sammy: Crap! You're right!
Suddenly, the whole area is bombed with 50000000000000000000000 tons of napalm.
Crazy military man: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like.......... Victory.
Kain: What's burning?
Sammy: That's us!
Kain: Heh................. Shit! You're right! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! !!
Jamie: What's going on in here?
Kain: I swear, I haven't touched her!
Jamie: Not that, you fat dope! Why is everything burning?
Sammy: We were having a nice little campfire, when you interrupted us.
Ed: BOOYAH!
Jamie: Why's everything burning?
Kain: A load of napalm.
Jamie: Must be that John Bush guy. He has a napalm fetish.
Kain: Advanced Bush joke!
Ed: BOOYAH!
Kain: Shut up! So, Sammy, since you won't remove your mask, does that mean you are über-ugly?
So after Kain has gotten his head nearly slapped off by a combistick, he goes out to take trophys among a bunch of marine soldiers, that have just arrived.
Poncho: Billy, you know something, what is it?
Billy: I'm scared, Poncho.
Poncho: Bullshit! You're ain't afraid of no man.
Billy: Something out there is chasing us. And it ain't a man.
Kain: Are you implying, that I'm not manly? Screw you!
He blasts Billy into smithereens.
Kain: That'll teach ya.
So the marines pick up their weapons, and shoot at Kain. Miniguns, grenade launchers, and general fully automatic weaponry shoots at him.
Kain: SONUVA-
He starts running.
Kain: They don't know what they have unleashed!
He turns into mist, and goes back.
Poncho: You think we got him?
Kain: Fuke it! (drops a nuke at the area) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Some soldiers with smartguns come into the area, so Kain stands psycho- still.
Soldier 1: I wonder why we have those weapons, when it's only 2004.
Soldier 2: That IS a rather good question. But we were told this would be bizarre.
Soldier 1: Yeah, I guess so.
Kain: DIE, BASTARDS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
He kills them all with his reaver, and telekinesis.
Kain: Hmm, this doesn't really seem like New York anymore.....
COAD: Maybe not, but I had to put it in some kind of location.
Kain: Why didn't you just use a jungle?
Unknown to Kain, an alien has sneaken up on him. It pounces for him, but he hears it in time to get out of the way.
Kain: Hmm, slightly slower, and you'd be just like the Zephonim.
He quickly decapitates it with the reaver.
Kain: I wonder what would happen, if I drank it's blood?
He does so.
Kain: SONUVABITCH! GOD-DAMN, THAT HURTS!
Since he's so stupid, I will now poor battery-acid on him.
Kain: IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!
Hash appears.
Kain: Hello, Hash-addict.
Hash: Shut up, dawg. That's the shizznezz, dawg, don't drink da battery acid, or ya tongue's gonna be burning, homie.
Kain: I'd say that's a dead give away.
Hash: Then why did ya do it, dawg?
Kain: Shut up! That's why!
Hash: Fo shizzle ma nizzle. (leaves)
An alien queen walks by.
Kain: Hmm, I thought Zephon was home in Nosgoth..................
The other predators finds Kain.
Jamie: There you are.
Sammy: No shit?
Ed: BOOYAH!
Kain: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Sammy: Can it, vamp-boy!
Sammy and Jaime start arguing.
Sammy: Just because I'm your sister, doesn't mean that I'll.................
Kain: HOLD IT FOR A SECOND, SHE'S YOUR SISTER?
Jamie: Yeah.
Kain: Okay.
COAD: _
Kain: Concept, you suck at smileys.
Kain is once again bathed in battery-acid.
Kain: IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU................................
COAD: Breathe!
Kain: ..............UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS! OUCH!
Suddenly, Kain and the 4 predators are warped back in time.
**********************************************************************
Lars: Det er straffen for at bringe mig ind i denne historie. (That's the punishment for bringing me into this story.)
Concept: Idiot. (That one's self-explanatory.)
Lars then plays the drumsticks on Concept's head. Ouch.
Corey: Screw this. The second reason is that I don't want to stink. The third.
Zephon: We get it. Now get done with it.
VRaz: You know, Concept, this story is full of plot holes.
Kain and the predators appear.
Vraz: case in point.
Everybody: WHAT THE HELL!?
Sammy: Hmm, that kid has dreadlocks, too.
Corey: Uhh, you're female, right?
Sammy: Right.
Corey: I'm sorta bathing right now, so if you could please cover your eyes?
Sammy: Whatever.
Corey looks down himself.
Corey (with Vorador's voice): This one is better equipped than me.
Kain: I remember this part! Now Concept goes crazy! Heheh.
Past Concept starts beating Vorador up badly. Kain and the 4 predators get transported further back.
*****************************************************************
Just as they arrive, lightning flashes.
Cop: ??
Sebastian: What in satan's sausages (sorry, Mortalsora) am I doing here?
Marcus: And what's up with Mr. Helmet sunglasses here?
Cop: ???
Faustus: What are all those shining lights?
Faustus jumps back into town, even though they were all 5 miles out of town, uhh city, whatever. And I have no idea how much miles are. We use the metric system here in Denmark.
Corey: Who were that? Tell me now, I want to know what's going on.
Vorador: There are more important matters at foot.
Cop: ????? WHAT IN THE NAME OF HE WHO CANNOT BE NAMED IS GOING ON?
Hash: Well, basically, we are a bunch of vampires/demons/ghosts/pillar guardians who have possessed this young boy, because we are looking for one of us's wife, who have gone here.
Cop: The weirdo who jumped into town, is he dangerous?
Kain: Oh yeah, the annoying sequnce is back. CONCEPT!
The COAD of the past shows up.
Past Concept: Why are there 2 Kains in my story?
Kain: Get me the present Concept, please!
The Now-Concept.... Me, shows up.
Kain: You're just doing this to avoid typing new shit, aren't you?
Me: yeah, look, I'm already at eight pages.
Kain: Could we get back to the main story, please?
Me: Okay, okay.
************************************************************
Janos: Why should Raziel be the Messiah? His name doesn't have the same amount of letters as Jesus! My name does! Janos, Jesus, five letters. Christ, Audron, six letters. It makes perfect sense! And neither of us hated the ones who persecuted us! Sheesh! It should be me. I'm more mature for it.
Kain: Uhh, Concept, not far enough.
Me: Ooops.
**************************************************************
Moebius: Ahh, that was good milk.
Vorador: That wasn't milk
Everybody but Moebius: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DISGUSTING.
Kain: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! DAMNIT, CONCEPT, IT'S STILL NOT FAR ENOUGH!
*************************************************************
They finally arrive in the correct time. But I can't remember where I've gotten to, and I'm too damn lazy to check, so let's just say they have arrived in a cave, filled with aliens.
Kain: SONUVA-
Sammy: Kain, shut up.
Kain: Can it, or I'll finish the above sentence.
So she throws her disc at his groin.
Kain: HOLY HELL, THAT DOES HURT! (kneels down)
*******************************************************************
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! THAT WAS THE NEW CHAPTER FOR YA'LL! AND WHY DO I SPEAK IN CAPS LOCK?
5, preferably more reviews. Think of it this way, the more reviews I get, the faster I update.
Wolfboy1988: SNL? What's that?
TTT (I hope you don't mind me calling you that): Sorry about the chair. Damn, I didn't know it'd have that effect.
Mortalsora: Well, you know he's a dumbass, so he'll never learn to wear one, if I know him correctly.
Mikoto Zoku: He probably will. It's my fic, after all. The New York thing........ Bizarre idea I had.
Ratface: Well, making fun of my own mistakes is something I enjoy, so...........
Covenant Elite: You like that? That's good.
A/N: (singing) I got Defiiiianceeeeee!!! BWAHAHAHAHAH! And, I've finished it, too. IN YOUR FACE, AMERICA!!
Beware of Defiance spoilers! Unless you've finished it, you might get the story spoiled, from reading this. So don't say I didn't warn you. Oh hell, I'll do it again.
BEWARE OF DEFIANCE SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ******************************************************************
Kain wants to kill some people, to take out his frustration. Where does he get that frustration from, you ask? He's in this fic. That would piss anyone off.
Moebius: Hello.
Kain: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Notyouagain!
Moebius: So how come you don't like me?
Kain: One word: Milk.
Moebius: Ah yes, want some?
Kain: BYAAAAARHHH!!!!! MO'FO'!
Kain then levitates Moebius with his telekinetic abilities, then pulls him towards him, impaling him on his reaver.
Moebius: Woah! Defiance flashback!
He then dies for god knows what time.
Kain: Well, they say the coward dies a thousand times.......
A very small spider crawls past.
Kain: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!! !!!!!!! (jumps approximately 5 kilometers in the air)
COAD: I wonder if he's dead, then.
Kain: SHUT UP! (sings) I'm an asshole........
Ed: BOOYAH!
Kain: You shut up, too.
Ed then thwaps Kain with his combistick.
Kain: Okay, that's it! You're going down!
He jumps at Ed, trying to swipe him with the reaver. Ed ducks down, and slams the combistick into Kain's groin.
Sammy: Hey, that's my job!
Okay, both of them are now fighting Kain.
Kain: I have taken on 5 demons. 2 freaking predators should be no problem.
He tries to do the first combo you learn in Defiance, on the 2 predators, but they get out of the way. They try to slam him down..........
Kain: But fails! HAHAHAHAH!!!
.......... And succeeds.
Kain: What?! OWWWWWW! AUCH! GOD, THAT DOES HURT!
Sammy: That'll teach ya!
Raziel pops in.
Raziel: Hello.
Kain: Yo, Raz-man, can you help me with those bastards?
Raziel: Sure. I take the girl, and you take the other one.
Kain (muttering): Good thing you're groin is gone.....
Raziel: What?
Kain: Nothing, nothing.
So they fight, and Raziel is lucky to not have a groin. Hey, that sounds weird...........
Raziel: Dumbass.
Suddenly, he is swept away by an alien.
Kain: The hell?! We gotta save him!
Sammy: He's about to be "impregnated". You can't do anything about it.
Kain: So, what, we're gonna have a winged alien?
Sammy: Crap! You're right!
Suddenly, the whole area is bombed with 50000000000000000000000 tons of napalm.
Crazy military man: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like.......... Victory.
Kain: What's burning?
Sammy: That's us!
Kain: Heh................. Shit! You're right! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! !!
Jamie: What's going on in here?
Kain: I swear, I haven't touched her!
Jamie: Not that, you fat dope! Why is everything burning?
Sammy: We were having a nice little campfire, when you interrupted us.
Ed: BOOYAH!
Jamie: Why's everything burning?
Kain: A load of napalm.
Jamie: Must be that John Bush guy. He has a napalm fetish.
Kain: Advanced Bush joke!
Ed: BOOYAH!
Kain: Shut up! So, Sammy, since you won't remove your mask, does that mean you are über-ugly?
So after Kain has gotten his head nearly slapped off by a combistick, he goes out to take trophys among a bunch of marine soldiers, that have just arrived.
Poncho: Billy, you know something, what is it?
Billy: I'm scared, Poncho.
Poncho: Bullshit! You're ain't afraid of no man.
Billy: Something out there is chasing us. And it ain't a man.
Kain: Are you implying, that I'm not manly? Screw you!
He blasts Billy into smithereens.
Kain: That'll teach ya.
So the marines pick up their weapons, and shoot at Kain. Miniguns, grenade launchers, and general fully automatic weaponry shoots at him.
Kain: SONUVA-
He starts running.
Kain: They don't know what they have unleashed!
He turns into mist, and goes back.
Poncho: You think we got him?
Kain: Fuke it! (drops a nuke at the area) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Some soldiers with smartguns come into the area, so Kain stands psycho- still.
Soldier 1: I wonder why we have those weapons, when it's only 2004.
Soldier 2: That IS a rather good question. But we were told this would be bizarre.
Soldier 1: Yeah, I guess so.
Kain: DIE, BASTARDS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
He kills them all with his reaver, and telekinesis.
Kain: Hmm, this doesn't really seem like New York anymore.....
COAD: Maybe not, but I had to put it in some kind of location.
Kain: Why didn't you just use a jungle?
Unknown to Kain, an alien has sneaken up on him. It pounces for him, but he hears it in time to get out of the way.
Kain: Hmm, slightly slower, and you'd be just like the Zephonim.
He quickly decapitates it with the reaver.
Kain: I wonder what would happen, if I drank it's blood?
He does so.
Kain: SONUVABITCH! GOD-DAMN, THAT HURTS!
Since he's so stupid, I will now poor battery-acid on him.
Kain: IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!
Hash appears.
Kain: Hello, Hash-addict.
Hash: Shut up, dawg. That's the shizznezz, dawg, don't drink da battery acid, or ya tongue's gonna be burning, homie.
Kain: I'd say that's a dead give away.
Hash: Then why did ya do it, dawg?
Kain: Shut up! That's why!
Hash: Fo shizzle ma nizzle. (leaves)
An alien queen walks by.
Kain: Hmm, I thought Zephon was home in Nosgoth..................
The other predators finds Kain.
Jamie: There you are.
Sammy: No shit?
Ed: BOOYAH!
Kain: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Sammy: Can it, vamp-boy!
Sammy and Jaime start arguing.
Sammy: Just because I'm your sister, doesn't mean that I'll.................
Kain: HOLD IT FOR A SECOND, SHE'S YOUR SISTER?
Jamie: Yeah.
Kain: Okay.
COAD: _
Kain: Concept, you suck at smileys.
Kain is once again bathed in battery-acid.
Kain: IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU................................
COAD: Breathe!
Kain: ..............UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS! OUCH!
Suddenly, Kain and the 4 predators are warped back in time.
**********************************************************************
Lars: Det er straffen for at bringe mig ind i denne historie. (That's the punishment for bringing me into this story.)
Concept: Idiot. (That one's self-explanatory.)
Lars then plays the drumsticks on Concept's head. Ouch.
Corey: Screw this. The second reason is that I don't want to stink. The third.
Zephon: We get it. Now get done with it.
VRaz: You know, Concept, this story is full of plot holes.
Kain and the predators appear.
Vraz: case in point.
Everybody: WHAT THE HELL!?
Sammy: Hmm, that kid has dreadlocks, too.
Corey: Uhh, you're female, right?
Sammy: Right.
Corey: I'm sorta bathing right now, so if you could please cover your eyes?
Sammy: Whatever.
Corey looks down himself.
Corey (with Vorador's voice): This one is better equipped than me.
Kain: I remember this part! Now Concept goes crazy! Heheh.
Past Concept starts beating Vorador up badly. Kain and the 4 predators get transported further back.
*****************************************************************
Just as they arrive, lightning flashes.
Cop: ??
Sebastian: What in satan's sausages (sorry, Mortalsora) am I doing here?
Marcus: And what's up with Mr. Helmet sunglasses here?
Cop: ???
Faustus: What are all those shining lights?
Faustus jumps back into town, even though they were all 5 miles out of town, uhh city, whatever. And I have no idea how much miles are. We use the metric system here in Denmark.
Corey: Who were that? Tell me now, I want to know what's going on.
Vorador: There are more important matters at foot.
Cop: ????? WHAT IN THE NAME OF HE WHO CANNOT BE NAMED IS GOING ON?
Hash: Well, basically, we are a bunch of vampires/demons/ghosts/pillar guardians who have possessed this young boy, because we are looking for one of us's wife, who have gone here.
Cop: The weirdo who jumped into town, is he dangerous?
Kain: Oh yeah, the annoying sequnce is back. CONCEPT!
The COAD of the past shows up.
Past Concept: Why are there 2 Kains in my story?
Kain: Get me the present Concept, please!
The Now-Concept.... Me, shows up.
Kain: You're just doing this to avoid typing new shit, aren't you?
Me: yeah, look, I'm already at eight pages.
Kain: Could we get back to the main story, please?
Me: Okay, okay.
************************************************************
Janos: Why should Raziel be the Messiah? His name doesn't have the same amount of letters as Jesus! My name does! Janos, Jesus, five letters. Christ, Audron, six letters. It makes perfect sense! And neither of us hated the ones who persecuted us! Sheesh! It should be me. I'm more mature for it.
Kain: Uhh, Concept, not far enough.
Me: Ooops.
**************************************************************
Moebius: Ahh, that was good milk.
Vorador: That wasn't milk
Everybody but Moebius: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DISGUSTING.
Kain: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! DAMNIT, CONCEPT, IT'S STILL NOT FAR ENOUGH!
*************************************************************
They finally arrive in the correct time. But I can't remember where I've gotten to, and I'm too damn lazy to check, so let's just say they have arrived in a cave, filled with aliens.
Kain: SONUVA-
Sammy: Kain, shut up.
Kain: Can it, or I'll finish the above sentence.
So she throws her disc at his groin.
Kain: HOLY HELL, THAT DOES HURT! (kneels down)
*******************************************************************
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! THAT WAS THE NEW CHAPTER FOR YA'LL! AND WHY DO I SPEAK IN CAPS LOCK?
5, preferably more reviews. Think of it this way, the more reviews I get, the faster I update.