A/N- thank you to all my reviewers.
A friendly reminder from the muses- Review and she might untie Orlando Bloom from the chair she has him in!
Orlando Bloom- please, I beg of you! Ever since she saw PotC she won't let me out of this bloody chair. And she keeps calling me Orli-Bear!!
AngelStuckOnEarth-that's a lie Orli-Bear -_-*…oh my gosh…now I'm in trouble aren't I?!
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La Princesse Diaries
Thursday, September 25
In D.A.D.A. today all I could think about was how Professor Lupin might put his tongue in my mum's mouth tomorrow night during their date. I just sat there, staring at him. He asked me a really hard question—I swear, he saves all the hard ones for me, like he doesn't want me to feel left out or something- I totally didn't even hear it. I was like "What?"
Then Pansy Parkinson made that sound she always makes and leaned over to me so that that all her hair swished onto my desk. I got hit by this giant wave of perfume, and then Lavender hissed in this really mean voice:
"Freak."
Only the way she said it like it had more then one syllable. Like it was spelled FUR-REEK.
How come nice people like Princess Diana get killed in car wrecks but mean people like Pansy never do? I don't understand what Draco Malfoy sees in her. I mean, yeah, she's pretty. But she's so mean. Doesn't he notice?
Maybe Pansy is nice to Draco, though. I'd sure be nice to Draco. He is the best-looking bloke in Hogwarts. A lot of blokes look totally geeky in our school's uniform, which is for boys gray pants, white shirt, and a gray sweater-vest (trimmed in their house colors). Not Draco, though. He looks like a model in his uniform. I am not kidding.
Anyway. Today I noticed Professor Lupin's nostrils stick out A LOT. Why would you want to go out with a guy whose nostrils stick out so much? I asked Ginny at lunch and she said "I've never noticed his nostrils before. Are you going to eat the biscuit?"
Ginny says I need to stop obsessing. She says I'm taking my anxiety over the fact that this is only our first month into the school year, and I already have an F in Arithmacy (cause unknown), and transferring it to anxiety about Prof. Lupin and my mum. She says this is called displacement.
It sort of sucks when your best friend's parents are wizards, and smart, muggle-loving ones at that.
Before we got on the train, the elder Weasley's were totally trying to analyze me. I mean, Ginny and I were just sitting there playing Boogle. And every five minutes it was like, "Girls, do you want some Butterbeer? Girls, there's a very interesting interview with the Weird Sisters on the Wireless. And by the way, Hermione, how do you feel about your mother starting to date your D.A.D.A. professor?"
I said "I feel fine about it."
Why can't I be more assertive?
But what if Gnny's parents run into my mum when they go to that Ministry party (A/N I don't remember if I said this before, but Hermione's mother is a witch. And her last name is Thermopolis…couldn't think of a better name!) in London next week? If I told them the truth, they'd definitely tell her. I don't want my mum to know how weird I feel about this, not when she's so happy about it.
The worst part was that Ron over heard the whole thing. He immediately started laughing his head off, even though I don't see what is so funny about it.
He went, "Your mum is dating Remus Lupin? HA! HA! HA!"
So great. Now Ron knows.
So then I had to start begging him not to tell anybody. He and Harry are in fifth period Study Class with me and Ginny, which is the biggest joke of a class. Prof. Hill (A/N I couldn't think…I was too tired and dumb!), who is in charge of the class at Hogwarts, doesn't care what we do as long as we don't make too much noise. She hates it when she has to come out of the teachers' lounge, which is right across the hall from Study to yell at us.
Anyway, Ron is supposed to use fifth period to work on his in-school newspaper, Crackhead. I'm supposed to use it for catching up on my Arithmancy homework.
But anyway, Prof. Hill never checks to see what we're doing in Study, which is probably good, since we're all trying to think up ways to lock Harry in to the supply broom cupboard. So, we won't have to be hit in the head when he flies around the room on his bloody broomstick.
But don't think that just because Ron and I are (somewhat) united against Harry flying in class he'd keep quiet about my mum and Prof. Lupin.
What Ron kept saying was, "What'll you do for me, huh, Hermione? What'll you do for me?"
But there's nothing I can do for Ronald Weasley.
I can't afford to do his homework, or anything. Ron has gotten straight A's since 1st year (just like Draco Malfoy). Ron will go to work at the Ministry or in Quidditch (just like Draco Malfoy).
What could I do for someone like that (even though my grades are the same)?
Not that Ron's perfect, or anything. Ron spends most of his time in the boy's dorm. I once asked Harry what he does in there, and he said he and the rest of those guys employ a don't ask, don't tell policy with Ron.
I bet he's in there creating a spell. Maybe he'll turn Snape's hair hot pink or purple for a 7th year prank.
Occasionally, Ron comes down from the dorm (late into the night, when everyone is in bed) and makes sarcastic comments. Sometimes when he does this he isn't wearing a shirt. I have noticed that Ron has a really nice chest. His stomach muscles are really well defined.
I have never mentioned this to Ginny.
Anyway, I guess Ron got tired of my offering to do stuff like clean out Pig's cage. Because in the end Ron just said, in this disgusted voice, "Forget it, okay, Granger?"
I asked Ginny why he so mad, and she said because he'd been sexually harassing me but I didn't notice.
How embarrassing! Supposing Draco Malfoy starts sexually harassing me someday (I wish) and I don't notice? God, I'm so stupid sometimes.
Anyway, Ginny said not to worry about Ron telling anyone at school about my mum and Prof. Lupin, since Harry most likely knows by now.
Now, Ginny wanted to know why I cared so much about Prof. Lupin's nostrils sticking out so much. Since I'm not the one who has to look at them, my mum is.
And I said, "Excuse me, I have to look at them from 9:55 to 10:55 and sometimes in the afternoon when he asks me to help with some new magical creature for class, EVERY SINGLE DAY! I do not have to see them on some national holidays and sometimes in the summer."
And if they get married, then I'll have to look at them EVERY SINGLE DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, MAJOR HOLIDAYS INCLUDED. Well, at least until I graduate, get a job, and find an apartment in the wizarding world with a loo.
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Friday, September 26
GINNY WEASLEY'S LIST OF HOTTEST GUYS
(complied during Friday evening in common room, with commentary by Hermione Granger)
1. Draco Malfoy (agree- six feet of unadulterated hotness. Blonde hair, often [well, now anyway] falling into his clear grey eyes, and that totally hot smirk. Only drawback: he has the bad taste to date Pansy Parkinson)
2. Harry Potter (strongly disagree. Just because he can play Quidditch does not make him hot. Plus he is one of my best friends, I love him like a brother. Go for him, Gin!)
3. Gilderoy Lockhart (DISAGREE- he is in Mungo's mental ward. That is so not hot.)
4. Prince William (I regret showing you his picture. But the answer is, as always, DUH.)
5. Leonardo in Titanic (As if! That is so 1998, and I never should have taken you to see that.)
6. That guy in that jeans as on that giant billboard in central London (totally agree. Who IS that guy? They should give him his own muggle TV series)
7. Professor Snape (kind of hot, but taken. Seen opening the door to the teachers' lounge for Professor McGonagall)
8. That new wizard rapper, Joe (totally agree. It would be so cool to date a rapper. Think about how deep his music is…not to mention his abs *sigh*.)
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Later Friday Night
I was measuring my chest and totally not thinking about the fact that my D.A.D.A. professor when my dad's owl showed up. I don't know why, but I opened it right away with a small squeal. It's been like forever since he last owled me.
This afternoon during the time I was Prof. Lupin with the new creature for the next lesson, and all of a sudden Prof. Lupin said "Hermione, I hope you don't feel, well, uncomfortable about my seeing your mother socially."
Only for some reason for a second I thought he said SEXUALLY not socially. And then I could feel my face getting really hot. I mean like BURNING. And I said, "Oh, no, Professor, it doesn't bother me at all."
And Prof. Lupin said, "Because if it bothers you, we can talk about it."
I guess he must have figured out I was telling porkies, since my face was so red.
But I was all, "Really, it doesn't bother me. I mean, maybe it bothers me a LITTLE, but really, I'm fine. I mean, it's just a date, right? Why get upset about one measly date."
That was when Lupin said, "Well, Hermione, I don't know if it's going to be one measly date. I really like your mother."
And, then I don't even know how, but all of a sudden I heard myself saying, "Well, you better. Because if you do anything to make her cry, I'll kick your butt."
Oh my God! I can't even believe I said the word butt to a teacher! My face got even REDDER after that, which I wouldn't have thought possible. Why is it that the only time I can tell the truth is when it's guaranteed to get me into trouble?
But I guess I am feeling sort of weird about the whole thing. Maybe Ginny's parents were right.
Lupin, though, was totally cool about it. He smiled in this funny way and said, "I have no intention of making your mother cry, but if I ever do, you have my permission to kick my butt."
So that was okay, sort of.
Anyway, Dad sounded really weird over the Floo. But then again, he always does. Plus, Dad didn't even want to talk to me. He wanted to talk to Mom. I suppose somebody died, and he wants Mom to break it to me gently. So, I had to calmly remind him that I'm at Hogwarts and that he needs to Floo Mom at home. Not at Hogwarts, honestly.
Maybe it was Grandmere. Hmmm….
My breasts have grown exactly none since last summer. Mom was totally wrong. I did not have a growth spurt when I turned fourteen, like she did. I will probably never have a growth spurt, at least not on my chest. I only have growth spurts UP, not OUT. I am now the tallest girl in the 7th year.
Now if anybody asks me to the Cultural Diversity Dance next month (yeah, right) I won't be able to wear a strapless dress because there isn't anything on my chest to hold it up.
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Ginny knows about those few muggle people because of Hermione. I don't know…I was trying to follow the book a little bit. Yes, Hermione's parents aren't muggle…I don't remember if I told you all. It fits with the story. I might have said her mum was muggle but I changed my mind too late. Oh, well…she is now a witch!
*3AngelStuckOnEarth3*