Usual disclaimers apply. I own Nigel and Platy (who is Platy, you ask?
Read and find out!)
Sorry, this chapter is shorter than the last one, but it was pretty darn quick, eh? On with the story!
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Chapter two: A chase and Platy intervenes
Legolas paused, listening. He could just make out the echoing crack of a bullwhip, followed by a spell of maniacal laughter. Sighing heavily, the Prince ran down the torch-lit hall, pausing every few minutes to listen. Nigel Pivington Jones had made surprising - and unfortunate - progress, considering that he didn't know his way around. Legolas fervently hoped that the crazy man was just cracking his whip for fun, and wasn't actually hurting anyone. Legolas paused again. He must be gaining on Nigel; he could now hear what he was shouting.
"Ha-HAH!" CRACK! "Flee! Flee before Nigel Pivington Jones! None dare stand before me! I'll fight the lot of you every day of the week and twice on Sundays! Hey - come back here, you scoundrel! Stand and fight!" CRACK!!
Legolas groaned and broke into a run. He had known that untying the lunatic would turn out to be a mistake, and now look at what was happening! He was running amok in the palace, cracking his whip at people!
"If I ever catch him," Legolas muttered to himself, "I'm throwing him straight into the dungeon first and asking the questions afterwards."
The Prince passed a few harried-looking elves and stopped.
"Was it a crazy-looking man with a moustache and a bullwhip?" Legolas asked. The elves nodded wordlessly, eyes nearly popping from their sockets. Legolas hurried on his way. He was definitely gaining; the whip- cracking noises were growing louder.
"Hah! The exit! Blessed sunlight! No labyrinth can hold Nigel Pivington Jones; I'm far too clever and have an astounding sense of direction! Move aside, chaps!" CRACK!! "Make way for Nigel Pivington Jones!" CRACK! CRACK!!
Legolas skittered around a corner just in time to see Nigel prancing out the door. It wasn't the main gate, it was an archway leading to the gardens. Legolas felt a rush of triumph; there was no way out of the gardens except back through the door. The "legendary" Nigel Pivington Jones had just cornered himself.
Legolas slipped stealthily into the garden, listening hard. not that it was necessary. Nigel was making such a racket that even if Legolas had been deaf, he would have been able to tell where Nigel was by the shaking of the ground.
"Hahahahahaaa! Another triumph for Nigel Pivington Jones!! I say, that chap looks just like my uncle Wally!" Legolas rolled his eyes and crept closer to the voice, crouching behind a large clump of rhododendrons. He set his hand on the ground for balance, then drew it back in shock. Instead of feeling grass, he had felt something warm and slightly furry beneath his fingertips! Legolas looked down. There before him, blinking in surprise, was what was easily the strangest-looking creature Legolas had ever laid eyes on.
It was roughly the size of a very large rabbit, but there the similarities ended. It had a large, flat beak, beady eyes, and a large flat tail. Except for the beak, it was covered in dense, dark brown hair. It smoothed its fur where Legolas's hand had rumpled it and gave the Prince an apologetic look.
"Crikey, I'm sorry for startling you like that. You'll be Legolas, then."
Legolas's jaw dropped, and if it hadn't been for the extensive training in etiquette the Prince had sat through (and bowed through) in his childhood, the Prince wouldn't have been able to answer at all. But his near-frozen brain automatically spewed out a polite response.
"It's no trouble," Legolas gasped. "Sorry for putting my hand on you. Er. who are you?"
I," the creature said with a little sort-of bow, "am the noble platypus, but you may call me Platy. Don't worry, I'm completely harmless. And so is Nigel. er, for the most part, anyway."
"You know him?" Legolas asked, part in wonder and part in relief. Maybe this Platy creature could help him get the madman under control.
"He's mine," Platy sighed wearily.
Legolas digested this for a moment. "Do you mean that you are his master and he is your slave?"
The platypus gave a short, bitter laugh. "If only it were that easy! I created him. I was bored." Platy shifted guiltily. "And don't think that I haven't regretted it! He's completely out of control. I just finished chasing him through 'Slaughter-house Five.' Thank goodness that book is pretty trippy to begin with; he wasn't able to cause too much trouble." Legolas nodded as if this made perfect sense, though he really had no idea what the creature was talking about.
"So. . . so you can't stop him, then?" Legolas couldn't keep the disappointment out of his voice, though he tried.
"Stop him? No." Platy sighed. "I could delete him, but I don't want it to come to that, and he knows it. That's why he's so cocky. But he's also a bit afraid of me, I think. And that can work to my advantage."
"Well-" Legolas started, but didn't finish, for at that very moment, Nigel Pivington Jones came reeling around the rhododendrons.
Nigel looked at the platypus. His eyes widened, then narrowed. "You!" he hissed.
Platy's eyes flashed. "Yes, me! Have you been whipping people, Nigel?!" The platypus folded her arms and glared.
"Well," Nigel shifted guiltily, stuffing the whip back into his belt, "I haven't been whipping people, as such, just sort of . you know, cracking it around a bit."
"How many rosebushes did you destroy?" Platy asked sternly, and the legendary Nigel Pivington Jones looked at his feet.
"Two." He muttered in a barely-audible voice (quite a pleasant change, Legolas thought).
"Dammit, Nigel!" Platy snapped, and Nigel flinched. "What is it with you and destroying shrubbery??!!"
"It was just a bit of fun," Nigel whined. Platy drew herself up to her full eighteen inches and glared daggers at her creation.
"Fun?! FUN??!!" She shrieked, and Nigel pouted. Then he grinned craftily and pulled something out of his pants pocket. It was a book. Platy took a step forward, stretching out a paw/hand. "Nigel, don't you dare!"
"Try and stop me!" Nigel roared, sprinting back around the corner, holding the book aloft as if it were on fire. "Ha-HAH!" There was a blinding flash of light, and then silence.
"Curses!" Legolas blinked and rubbed his eyes. Platy was stomping around in a frustrated little circle.
"Where has he gone?" Legolas asked, knowing that there was no way Nigel could be silent for any great length of time. Platy sighed, clutching her beak in her hands.
"He's gone to Hogwarts." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~
Watcha think?? Review, please! Do you think that Platy should pursue Nigel into Harry Potter right away, or hang out in ME waiting for him to return (which he, inevitably, will)? Dun dun DUN! Let me know by pressing the purty little button down yonder!
Sorry, this chapter is shorter than the last one, but it was pretty darn quick, eh? On with the story!
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Chapter two: A chase and Platy intervenes
Legolas paused, listening. He could just make out the echoing crack of a bullwhip, followed by a spell of maniacal laughter. Sighing heavily, the Prince ran down the torch-lit hall, pausing every few minutes to listen. Nigel Pivington Jones had made surprising - and unfortunate - progress, considering that he didn't know his way around. Legolas fervently hoped that the crazy man was just cracking his whip for fun, and wasn't actually hurting anyone. Legolas paused again. He must be gaining on Nigel; he could now hear what he was shouting.
"Ha-HAH!" CRACK! "Flee! Flee before Nigel Pivington Jones! None dare stand before me! I'll fight the lot of you every day of the week and twice on Sundays! Hey - come back here, you scoundrel! Stand and fight!" CRACK!!
Legolas groaned and broke into a run. He had known that untying the lunatic would turn out to be a mistake, and now look at what was happening! He was running amok in the palace, cracking his whip at people!
"If I ever catch him," Legolas muttered to himself, "I'm throwing him straight into the dungeon first and asking the questions afterwards."
The Prince passed a few harried-looking elves and stopped.
"Was it a crazy-looking man with a moustache and a bullwhip?" Legolas asked. The elves nodded wordlessly, eyes nearly popping from their sockets. Legolas hurried on his way. He was definitely gaining; the whip- cracking noises were growing louder.
"Hah! The exit! Blessed sunlight! No labyrinth can hold Nigel Pivington Jones; I'm far too clever and have an astounding sense of direction! Move aside, chaps!" CRACK!! "Make way for Nigel Pivington Jones!" CRACK! CRACK!!
Legolas skittered around a corner just in time to see Nigel prancing out the door. It wasn't the main gate, it was an archway leading to the gardens. Legolas felt a rush of triumph; there was no way out of the gardens except back through the door. The "legendary" Nigel Pivington Jones had just cornered himself.
Legolas slipped stealthily into the garden, listening hard. not that it was necessary. Nigel was making such a racket that even if Legolas had been deaf, he would have been able to tell where Nigel was by the shaking of the ground.
"Hahahahahaaa! Another triumph for Nigel Pivington Jones!! I say, that chap looks just like my uncle Wally!" Legolas rolled his eyes and crept closer to the voice, crouching behind a large clump of rhododendrons. He set his hand on the ground for balance, then drew it back in shock. Instead of feeling grass, he had felt something warm and slightly furry beneath his fingertips! Legolas looked down. There before him, blinking in surprise, was what was easily the strangest-looking creature Legolas had ever laid eyes on.
It was roughly the size of a very large rabbit, but there the similarities ended. It had a large, flat beak, beady eyes, and a large flat tail. Except for the beak, it was covered in dense, dark brown hair. It smoothed its fur where Legolas's hand had rumpled it and gave the Prince an apologetic look.
"Crikey, I'm sorry for startling you like that. You'll be Legolas, then."
Legolas's jaw dropped, and if it hadn't been for the extensive training in etiquette the Prince had sat through (and bowed through) in his childhood, the Prince wouldn't have been able to answer at all. But his near-frozen brain automatically spewed out a polite response.
"It's no trouble," Legolas gasped. "Sorry for putting my hand on you. Er. who are you?"
I," the creature said with a little sort-of bow, "am the noble platypus, but you may call me Platy. Don't worry, I'm completely harmless. And so is Nigel. er, for the most part, anyway."
"You know him?" Legolas asked, part in wonder and part in relief. Maybe this Platy creature could help him get the madman under control.
"He's mine," Platy sighed wearily.
Legolas digested this for a moment. "Do you mean that you are his master and he is your slave?"
The platypus gave a short, bitter laugh. "If only it were that easy! I created him. I was bored." Platy shifted guiltily. "And don't think that I haven't regretted it! He's completely out of control. I just finished chasing him through 'Slaughter-house Five.' Thank goodness that book is pretty trippy to begin with; he wasn't able to cause too much trouble." Legolas nodded as if this made perfect sense, though he really had no idea what the creature was talking about.
"So. . . so you can't stop him, then?" Legolas couldn't keep the disappointment out of his voice, though he tried.
"Stop him? No." Platy sighed. "I could delete him, but I don't want it to come to that, and he knows it. That's why he's so cocky. But he's also a bit afraid of me, I think. And that can work to my advantage."
"Well-" Legolas started, but didn't finish, for at that very moment, Nigel Pivington Jones came reeling around the rhododendrons.
Nigel looked at the platypus. His eyes widened, then narrowed. "You!" he hissed.
Platy's eyes flashed. "Yes, me! Have you been whipping people, Nigel?!" The platypus folded her arms and glared.
"Well," Nigel shifted guiltily, stuffing the whip back into his belt, "I haven't been whipping people, as such, just sort of . you know, cracking it around a bit."
"How many rosebushes did you destroy?" Platy asked sternly, and the legendary Nigel Pivington Jones looked at his feet.
"Two." He muttered in a barely-audible voice (quite a pleasant change, Legolas thought).
"Dammit, Nigel!" Platy snapped, and Nigel flinched. "What is it with you and destroying shrubbery??!!"
"It was just a bit of fun," Nigel whined. Platy drew herself up to her full eighteen inches and glared daggers at her creation.
"Fun?! FUN??!!" She shrieked, and Nigel pouted. Then he grinned craftily and pulled something out of his pants pocket. It was a book. Platy took a step forward, stretching out a paw/hand. "Nigel, don't you dare!"
"Try and stop me!" Nigel roared, sprinting back around the corner, holding the book aloft as if it were on fire. "Ha-HAH!" There was a blinding flash of light, and then silence.
"Curses!" Legolas blinked and rubbed his eyes. Platy was stomping around in a frustrated little circle.
"Where has he gone?" Legolas asked, knowing that there was no way Nigel could be silent for any great length of time. Platy sighed, clutching her beak in her hands.
"He's gone to Hogwarts." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~
Watcha think?? Review, please! Do you think that Platy should pursue Nigel into Harry Potter right away, or hang out in ME waiting for him to return (which he, inevitably, will)? Dun dun DUN! Let me know by pressing the purty little button down yonder!