Just before the talk
Author's note: I'm soooooo sorry it's been so long since I last update. With the whole Christmas thing and my family and friends I hadn't found time to update.but I found time now! :-) hope you like this next chapter. Please review it !
X x x x x x x x x x x x PHOEBE'S ROOM x x x x x x x x x x x x x X
Phoebe was sitting in her bed, holding her knees close to her chest. The "happy-Phoebe" was gone and now all that was left was a "totally- screwed- up" Phoebe. All the pain had come back to her, the pain she didn't wanna face.
A single tear made its way down her face, but she had no idea why. One minute she was happy with her sisters and the next everything went crazy. She had all of these memories she couldn't erase, and the guilt that made her chest hurt. But what hurt her most was the feeling of humiliation. The way she felt right after he stopped rapping her. It was then when she realized that her life was never gonna be the same, no matter how hard she tried 'cause no matter what she'll do, he'll always be in her nightmares and her memory.
She felt so alone, so ashamed, so guilty, but the worst part was that the voices were coming back to her now; the voice of her own conscience that reminded her that it was all her fault.
She was already getting use to hearing it by now; so much that she was beginning to confuse her own thoughts with it. or did she really thought the same things? in a way she did believe them. After all, it was the truth.unless she felt that way.
'It doesn't have to be this way' the voice in her conscience told her. 'You don't have to feel all of this pain' the voice said.
She knew what it was all about, the pills; the only thing that kept her from the pain and from her own thoughts. She had thought about taking them before but she didn't want to pass out or something because of an overdose.
"No, I can't take them" she said to herself. But it was too late; she was already giving in into the idea. The pain was too much. 'Why not? What's the worst thing that can happen?' she thought trying to convince herself that what she was dong was a good idea.' Even it I do have an overdose, I'll jus die. Unless that way I won't have to feel all of this or think all of this things' she thought. But what about her sisters? Would they care if she died?
"Of course they'd care" Phoebe assured herself. But she was very unconvinced.
She couldn't do it; she couldn't possibly do that to her sisters. Phoebe knew they just wouldn't be able to handle it.
Just then a soft knock on the door brought her back to reality from her own thinking, thank god.
'Great! They're here!' she thought sarcastically, 'After they see me like this they'll probably start worrying again' Phoebe thought.
"Its open" said Phoebe. She was surprised to hear her own voice so clear even thought she had been crying for hours.
Prue and Piper opened the door carefully not to disturb their little sister even more. The minute Prue and Piper saw Phoebe's face they could tell she had been crying. It was very weird considering that just a couple of hours ago Phoebe seamed like the happiest girl in the world. It didn't make any sense.
Prue sat next to Phoebe in her bed while Piper sat in front of her. Phoebe, with arms strongly wrapping her knees, rocked herself back and forth trying to compose herself a little even thought she was in the middle of a breakdown. She kept moving trying to distract herself but at that point nothing could distract her from what she was feeling and thinking.
Phoebe noticed the pain and grief in her sister's face when they saw her like that. She touched her cheek and noticed that they were wet from all her crying. 'They obviously noticed' she thought in disgust. But what could she do at that point? There was no sense in lying.
The truth was hat she didn't really care. She was feeling so depress right then that she could barely think straight. Usually she would of tried to hide her tears, to spare them the pain of seeing her crying, but her own pain was so big that everything else just didn't matter.
Phoebe looked at them awkwardly. She wanted to be left alone so bad that she was wiling to kick her own sisters out of her room, even thought the consequences would be terrible, but she just didn't have enough strength or enough power to do that.
She gave them a shy look trying to make them realize that she didn't want them in her room. But they just looked at her determinate; they had obviously decided to talk her straight.
They couldn't have picked a worst time. Phoebe could barely whisper, if only, and she felt like screaming at them. Shut everyone out of her world where she could be safe and alone.
Prue took Phoebe's hand. Immediately Phoebe looked at her surprised to see Prue actually reaching out for her, but not in the right time. Her hand was shacking a little, mostly because of the pills she had took earlier that morning, but Prue's hand on hers seamed to calmed her down a little.
"Phoebe" Prue started.
PUM, PUM, PUM! I left you in suspense again. Sorry if I do that a lot but I just like to finish every chapter with a great ending. I don't know When I'll post the next chapter so.don't expect to see it any time soon. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!
Author's note: I'm soooooo sorry it's been so long since I last update. With the whole Christmas thing and my family and friends I hadn't found time to update.but I found time now! :-) hope you like this next chapter. Please review it !
X x x x x x x x x x x x PHOEBE'S ROOM x x x x x x x x x x x x x X
Phoebe was sitting in her bed, holding her knees close to her chest. The "happy-Phoebe" was gone and now all that was left was a "totally- screwed- up" Phoebe. All the pain had come back to her, the pain she didn't wanna face.
A single tear made its way down her face, but she had no idea why. One minute she was happy with her sisters and the next everything went crazy. She had all of these memories she couldn't erase, and the guilt that made her chest hurt. But what hurt her most was the feeling of humiliation. The way she felt right after he stopped rapping her. It was then when she realized that her life was never gonna be the same, no matter how hard she tried 'cause no matter what she'll do, he'll always be in her nightmares and her memory.
She felt so alone, so ashamed, so guilty, but the worst part was that the voices were coming back to her now; the voice of her own conscience that reminded her that it was all her fault.
She was already getting use to hearing it by now; so much that she was beginning to confuse her own thoughts with it. or did she really thought the same things? in a way she did believe them. After all, it was the truth.unless she felt that way.
'It doesn't have to be this way' the voice in her conscience told her. 'You don't have to feel all of this pain' the voice said.
She knew what it was all about, the pills; the only thing that kept her from the pain and from her own thoughts. She had thought about taking them before but she didn't want to pass out or something because of an overdose.
"No, I can't take them" she said to herself. But it was too late; she was already giving in into the idea. The pain was too much. 'Why not? What's the worst thing that can happen?' she thought trying to convince herself that what she was dong was a good idea.' Even it I do have an overdose, I'll jus die. Unless that way I won't have to feel all of this or think all of this things' she thought. But what about her sisters? Would they care if she died?
"Of course they'd care" Phoebe assured herself. But she was very unconvinced.
She couldn't do it; she couldn't possibly do that to her sisters. Phoebe knew they just wouldn't be able to handle it.
Just then a soft knock on the door brought her back to reality from her own thinking, thank god.
'Great! They're here!' she thought sarcastically, 'After they see me like this they'll probably start worrying again' Phoebe thought.
"Its open" said Phoebe. She was surprised to hear her own voice so clear even thought she had been crying for hours.
Prue and Piper opened the door carefully not to disturb their little sister even more. The minute Prue and Piper saw Phoebe's face they could tell she had been crying. It was very weird considering that just a couple of hours ago Phoebe seamed like the happiest girl in the world. It didn't make any sense.
Prue sat next to Phoebe in her bed while Piper sat in front of her. Phoebe, with arms strongly wrapping her knees, rocked herself back and forth trying to compose herself a little even thought she was in the middle of a breakdown. She kept moving trying to distract herself but at that point nothing could distract her from what she was feeling and thinking.
Phoebe noticed the pain and grief in her sister's face when they saw her like that. She touched her cheek and noticed that they were wet from all her crying. 'They obviously noticed' she thought in disgust. But what could she do at that point? There was no sense in lying.
The truth was hat she didn't really care. She was feeling so depress right then that she could barely think straight. Usually she would of tried to hide her tears, to spare them the pain of seeing her crying, but her own pain was so big that everything else just didn't matter.
Phoebe looked at them awkwardly. She wanted to be left alone so bad that she was wiling to kick her own sisters out of her room, even thought the consequences would be terrible, but she just didn't have enough strength or enough power to do that.
She gave them a shy look trying to make them realize that she didn't want them in her room. But they just looked at her determinate; they had obviously decided to talk her straight.
They couldn't have picked a worst time. Phoebe could barely whisper, if only, and she felt like screaming at them. Shut everyone out of her world where she could be safe and alone.
Prue took Phoebe's hand. Immediately Phoebe looked at her surprised to see Prue actually reaching out for her, but not in the right time. Her hand was shacking a little, mostly because of the pills she had took earlier that morning, but Prue's hand on hers seamed to calmed her down a little.
"Phoebe" Prue started.
PUM, PUM, PUM! I left you in suspense again. Sorry if I do that a lot but I just like to finish every chapter with a great ending. I don't know When I'll post the next chapter so.don't expect to see it any time soon. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!