"AS WE LEARNED IN OUR PREVIOUS EPISODE"

Barbara Gordon talking with her worried father in his office

"THE OUTLOOK FOR GOTHAM: BLEAK!"

Police examine the deserted, parked Batmobile

"THE DYNAMIC DUO HAS DISAPPEARED!"

Barbara Gordon talking to a parrot in her apartment

"THE SCENE THAT TV LAND CUT!"

A handwritten letter to Batgirl, apparently left by Batman

"A TEMPTING INVITATION!"

Tentacles shoot out of the Batmobile's steering wheel

"TRAPPED IN THE BATMOBILE!"

Arms wrapped in wires, Batgirl sits frozen at the wheel

"WAS THIS TRIP NECESSARY?"

A remote-controlled Batmobile swerving all over the street

"THIS MUST BE A PENGUIN EPISODE!"

The stalled vehicle is approached by the Joker

"NO, EVEN BETTER!"

Joker watches as a crate bearing Batman and Robin is opened

"A TERRIBLE PROPOSITION"

The grim faces of the bound caped crusaders

"BATGIRL'S LIFE FOR THE COMMISSIONER'S DEATH?"

"AND NOW."

Undine's dream was interrupted by a purple-gloved hand shaking her awake.

"Undine," said the Joker. "Arise! I have a new trio of treasures for you to behold, my merry minx! You'll never guess what has come into my possession this time!"

"A trio? So you've captured Batman and his friends again," murmered the blonde bombshell. "What else is new? Can I go back to sleep?"

"There will be plenty of time for you to sleep when we are permanently rid of the caped crusaders! Now I want you radiant and presentable within the hour."

Unable to impress his moll with his exploits, the Joker departed from the wildly decorated upstairs office and descended into the concrete and brick décor that marked the majority of the warehouse. He decided that relaxing in Batman's car would be just the thing to bolster his ego. Clutching the remote that gave him complete control of the vehicle, he returned to the Batmobile and hopped into the passenger seat next to the imprisoned Batgirl. He gave her a toothy grin.

The next 15 minutes ticked by slowly for Batgirl. In addition to being forced to listen to her captor's constant hoots of amusement, she was made to play guinea pig for his warped experiments. While she sat strapped to the seat, the Joker fiddled constantly with the remote control. He made one tiny adjustment after another to see just how tight he could get Batgirl's seat belt straps without making her pass out. Finally growing bored with this sadistic game, the Joker adjusted the controls to let her have a little breathing room. He called out to two burly goons standing nearby.

"Bring that Bat-box out here! I'm tired of waiting!"

The huge crate bearing the bound caped crusaders was quickly hauled back in and tilted before the parked Batmobile. The lid was pried off to reveal Batman and Robin still inside, defiant but helpless.

"Well, what's it going to be, Batman?" said the Joker. "Batgirls pushing up daisies? Or are you prepared to finish off Police Commissioner Gordon for me?"

"The answer," replied Batman. "is no! You can do what you like to us, but under no circumstances will we aid or abet your devilish designs upon the Commissioner's life."

Robin did a double take at hearing this. "What do you mean no'? Didn't you hear what he said? He's going to kill Batgirl – and we're next!"

"Buck up, chum," Batman counseled, twisting to look at his partner. "Being on the side of right isn't always a bed of roses."

"Who do you think Gotham City can afford to do without, Batman? You and I or Commissioner Gordon?"

Shock registered across the caped crusader's face as Robin's unspoken meaning became apparent.

"Robin, are you suggesting.that we help this madman with his nefarious deeds?"

"I think we should do whatever it takes to stay alive," said the Boy Wonder. "That's sure as heck what I plan to do!"

"Well, at least this young man shows promise," said the Joker. His grinning white features were suddenly blocked from their view by Batgirl's frantic face. She desperately strained forward against the seat belt straps.

"Robin, don't do it!" .

The Joker clamped a hand on her face and shoved her head back against the seat.

"Quiet, you!" he said. He waggled the remote control under her nose. "One more comment like that and I'll make that seat belt even tighter than you've experienced yet!"

"You've put her through enough already, you fiend!" yelled Batman.

"You see, Batman?" exclaimed Robin. "If you can't stand watching Batgirl in discomfort, how do you think you'll feel watching her death?"

"Robin, your trepidation is understandable. However, I cannot allow you to become a pawn in this madman's scheme!"

The Boy Wonder glared back at him. "All my life I've been doing what you told me to! And it's finally beginning to dawn on me that you're not that bright! I can't believe I've been taking orders from you all this time!"

"That always baffled me too," mused the Joker.

Turning to his captor, the Boy Wonder said, "Joker, you didn't say anything about both of us having to take part in the Commissioner's death in order for you to release us."

"I suppose I didn't make any such stipulation."

"Robin, you don't know what you're saying!" said Batman

"Oh, leave him alone, you big bully," the Joker interrupted, waving his purple-gloved hand. "Untie this fine lad, boys. This other fellow seems to be an unhealthy influence on him."

Robin waited as the Joker's stooges cut away the wires binding him to his mentor. The henchmen then pulled him from the large crate that had served as his prison. Robin wiped bits of sawdust from his red-breasted uniform as one of the stooges kept a machine gun trained warily on him.

"Now, you're to go straight to the Commissioner's office," instructed the Joker. "If that dimbulb police chief is in there with him, send him on some errand to get him out of the room for a few minutes. I assume that's all the time you would need to throttle our dear Commissioner. You are strong enough to finish him off by yourself, aren't you?"

"Plenty strong enough," replied Robin. "And a few minutes is more than enough time."

"Good, good. Now, you must follow my playful plot to the letter. I'm sure you wouldn't enjoy being ground into the pavement by the wheels of your own Batmobile." Joker waved the remote control as he patted the steering wheel for emphasis. "And just in case it occurs to you to pull a fast one on ol' Uncle Joker, don't forget what will happen to Batgirl if you deviate at all from your appointed course – my usual support for deviance notwithstanding."

Batman's chest slammed the front of the crate as he strained against his bonds. He fixed the clown prince with a glare.

"Joker! You listen and you listen well! If any harm befalls her due to your shenanigans, I'll make you regret it to your dying day."

Looking amused, the clown prince clasped his hands together melodramatically. "Oh, how touching; how romantic! You seem to have a great deal of affection for her!"

Batman was taken aback. "Yes," he admitted. "Yes, I suppose I do. She is without a doubtthe most beauteous, the most able, the most spectacular automobile on the face of the earth."

"Err..no, I was speaking of Batgirl," said the Joker, his eyebrows rising.

"Batgirlyes, well, certainly Batgirl's safety is of utmost concern to me."

"Oh! Of course it is! Hoo Hoo! He certainly sounds terribly concerned for his comrade, doesn't he boys?" the clown prince cackled. The henchmen laughed in agreement.

Biting back an inappropriate response, Batman answered through clenched teeth. "Batgirl is fully aware of the high regard I hold her in, Joker. That being said, under no circumstances are you to scratchsmoke tobacco inweave needlessly in heavy trafficor drive in excess of posted highway speed limits - this automobile! Furthermore, you will not touch any of the interior."

"Yes, yes, put all that in a memo, won't you?" said the Joker, giving an exaggerated yawn. The clown prince of crime punched a button on his remote contraption to start the engine of the magnificent car.

Upstairs in the bizarrely decorated office, Undine heard the powerful motor and got up from the television show she'd been watching. She went to the window overlooking the warehouse floor to see what was going on.

"Now, on your way, Boy Wonder! And no delays," the Joker was saying.

"I'm going, Joker," said Robin grimly. He started jogging off on his horrible assignment.

Beaming with pleasure, the Joker turned to Batgirl in the next seat. "We'll just tag along behind the dear boy to ensure he doesn't suffer a change of heart or get lost along the way."

As Robin trotted from the warehouse, one of the Joker's goons spoke up. "But boss, I don't remember Robin actually promising to kill Gordon. Did you hear him say that?"

"I'm not sure that I did, now that you mention it. I guess it's a good thing I didn't promise not to kill Batman. Because that's what I'm going to do: I'm going to blow him into an infinitely advanced stage of rigor mortis. Well, not me, personally - I just had this suit dry-cleaned. But make no mistake, Batman, your final curtain is falling! Boys, make sure the caped crusader here has ample opportunity to see what good care I'm taking of his precious chariot then fill him full of lead!"