Disclaimer: I own nothing! if I did, Lana's character would either be
written better or left to die in some god forsaken hell hole. Clark would
suddenly not have any shirts and neither would lex. So obviously, not mine.
A/N: hi. Its my first Smallville fic in a long time. I used to write under the name of Poor-Ophelia, and it's been a while. Tell me what you think, I adore feed back, even if it is to tell me I should do something useful and kill myself because I'm such a bad writer...although I do hope no one says that. I do my best to answer any questions!
Synopsis: Chloe discovers the truth about her mother. (short I know, but this is all my stupid muse would give me. So if anything, blame it! :::Muse glares, and looks menacing::: I mean...)
*****************
I slammed the door shut, sitting on the frozen seat, deafened by the engulfing silence.
I didn't cry. I don't think I was able to. It was too much to take in.
I shook my head, trying to clear it of its confusion, trying to set my mind to rights when everything I'd always thought about her was wrong. I sat there for a long time, staring out the windshield, watching the snow fall. That was simple, that, I could understand, I could comprehend.
I felt wretched. I felt shattered as I stared out that window watching the snow, a numbness creeping over me as I collected the thousand pieces of my broken self, trying to put it all back together again. The existence I had known for certain was not certain anymore. Everything had changed. It was as if God had taken the world and spun it on its head, and everything had fallen from place.
Why dwell on it? I thought to myself. I had always prided myself on looking forward, living for the next day, not yesterday. The past had never been very good to me. It was plagued by all my nightmares, and here they returned, breaking from the confines of my skeleton closet to haunt me in their nearness.
"Like hell," I muttered. Like hell I'm gonna give in, I thought. There is no way that this is getting the better of me. There is no way she's worth this much time and this much pain. And I told myself that, like a mantra as I jabbed the key into the ignition, and finally started the car.
It roared to life, and I pulled from the curb, and drove. It was mechanical and unconscious, I barely noticed I was driving until I saw the sign:
THANK YOU FOR VISITING METROPOLIS.
Three hours left. Three hours of black ice and high winds, which, in itself would have been hard enough, fighting to stay on the road on a night like this, but throw emotions into the mix, and things tend to get a little squicky.
I was fighting the tears, sniffling, trying to drive. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand, and turned the radio up, trying to focus on the road and the music and forget everything else.
I wasn't that far from home now. I knew it even through the blur of white that blocked my view. I was only about fifteen minutes out of Smallville, the Kent farm would be closer, maybe ten minutes away.
Three Days Grace blasted from the speakers, the song ending. The announcer said something I didn't bother paying attention to, and another song began to play. It was Good Charlotte's "Emotionless".
***********************
Hey Dad,
I'm Writing to you
not to tell you that I still hate you
Just to ask you how you feel
and how we fell apart
and how this fell apart
***********************
I felt my throat constrict again, and the sobs I had been holding down broke loose, my heart wrenching from the pain of it all, everything I'd seen, everything I felt.
**********************
Are you happy out there in this great wide world
Do you think about your sons,
Do you miss your little girl
When you lay your head down
How do you sleep at night
Do you even wonder if were all right?
But we're all right,
We're all right
***********************
I had asked every question, said everything I thought, but not this, never this. I never let my self.
***********************
Its been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
Its not okay,
but we're all right
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those were just a long lost memory of mine
I spent so many years learning how survive
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm Still alive
The days I spent
so cold, so hungry,
Were full of hate,
I was so angry
The scars run deep inside this tatooed body,
Theres things I'll take to my grave,
But I'm Okay, I'm Okay. ************************
All the things I could never have, all the things I'd always wanted, everything I hated to admit.
*************************
Its been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
Its not okay,
but we're all right
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those were just a long lost memory of mine,
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm Still alive, Yea I'm still alive
*************************
It was everything I'd never allowed my self to say, everything I needed to. It made me feel weak and vulnerable. Hungry for sustenance of another kind, and I knew I'd been starving.
***************************
Its been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
Its not okay,
but we're all right
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those were just a long lost memory of mine,
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive
And sometimes,
I forgive,
and this time,
I'll admit,
That I miss you, I miss you
Hey Dad.
*************
I blinked my eyes, trying to force back the tears that streamed down my face, tried to still my trembling body, tried to silence my gasping breaths. I was drowning in it all, everything I felt seemed magnified, rendering me helpless to its effects. My vision grew cloudy with tears, my vision liquid.
The wind buffeted the car, sending it sliding this way and that on the road, until finally; a large oak loomed in front of the windshield, and through my tears, I couldn't see it until it was too late.
"Oh shit."
I slammed on the brakes, sending the car into a deadly spin. The snow swirled around the vehicle as the sound of the brakes screeching filled my ears. Fear grasped my heart and I thought about all I had to lose, my Dad, my Friends, The torch...Clark...The tree approached at a quickening pace, and I couldn't watch. I shut my eyes tight, unsure if maybe it was a good thing, if maybe I just wanted to give in for once, just let go, because it hurt so much. I grimaced as the small car collided with the tree. The crunch of metal was deafening, and vaguely, I could hear my self scream. My head struck the dash board with terrible force, and then there was a jolting motion, and then everything ceased.
I was a wash with pain, every part of my body wrung out with throbbing force, my head felt as if I'd taken a hammer to it. I tried to reach up to see what had happened, but I couldn't make it past my chest. The whole right side of the vehicle was mangled beyond belief, my arm wedged between a ruined seat and the steering wheel. There was a branch impaling the back window, and I sighed in disbelief before the edges of my sight began to fade, blurring, until everything fell into blackness.
A/N: hi. Its my first Smallville fic in a long time. I used to write under the name of Poor-Ophelia, and it's been a while. Tell me what you think, I adore feed back, even if it is to tell me I should do something useful and kill myself because I'm such a bad writer...although I do hope no one says that. I do my best to answer any questions!
Synopsis: Chloe discovers the truth about her mother. (short I know, but this is all my stupid muse would give me. So if anything, blame it! :::Muse glares, and looks menacing::: I mean...)
*****************
I slammed the door shut, sitting on the frozen seat, deafened by the engulfing silence.
I didn't cry. I don't think I was able to. It was too much to take in.
I shook my head, trying to clear it of its confusion, trying to set my mind to rights when everything I'd always thought about her was wrong. I sat there for a long time, staring out the windshield, watching the snow fall. That was simple, that, I could understand, I could comprehend.
I felt wretched. I felt shattered as I stared out that window watching the snow, a numbness creeping over me as I collected the thousand pieces of my broken self, trying to put it all back together again. The existence I had known for certain was not certain anymore. Everything had changed. It was as if God had taken the world and spun it on its head, and everything had fallen from place.
Why dwell on it? I thought to myself. I had always prided myself on looking forward, living for the next day, not yesterday. The past had never been very good to me. It was plagued by all my nightmares, and here they returned, breaking from the confines of my skeleton closet to haunt me in their nearness.
"Like hell," I muttered. Like hell I'm gonna give in, I thought. There is no way that this is getting the better of me. There is no way she's worth this much time and this much pain. And I told myself that, like a mantra as I jabbed the key into the ignition, and finally started the car.
It roared to life, and I pulled from the curb, and drove. It was mechanical and unconscious, I barely noticed I was driving until I saw the sign:
THANK YOU FOR VISITING METROPOLIS.
Three hours left. Three hours of black ice and high winds, which, in itself would have been hard enough, fighting to stay on the road on a night like this, but throw emotions into the mix, and things tend to get a little squicky.
I was fighting the tears, sniffling, trying to drive. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand, and turned the radio up, trying to focus on the road and the music and forget everything else.
I wasn't that far from home now. I knew it even through the blur of white that blocked my view. I was only about fifteen minutes out of Smallville, the Kent farm would be closer, maybe ten minutes away.
Three Days Grace blasted from the speakers, the song ending. The announcer said something I didn't bother paying attention to, and another song began to play. It was Good Charlotte's "Emotionless".
***********************
Hey Dad,
I'm Writing to you
not to tell you that I still hate you
Just to ask you how you feel
and how we fell apart
and how this fell apart
***********************
I felt my throat constrict again, and the sobs I had been holding down broke loose, my heart wrenching from the pain of it all, everything I'd seen, everything I felt.
**********************
Are you happy out there in this great wide world
Do you think about your sons,
Do you miss your little girl
When you lay your head down
How do you sleep at night
Do you even wonder if were all right?
But we're all right,
We're all right
***********************
I had asked every question, said everything I thought, but not this, never this. I never let my self.
***********************
Its been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
Its not okay,
but we're all right
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those were just a long lost memory of mine
I spent so many years learning how survive
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm Still alive
The days I spent
so cold, so hungry,
Were full of hate,
I was so angry
The scars run deep inside this tatooed body,
Theres things I'll take to my grave,
But I'm Okay, I'm Okay. ************************
All the things I could never have, all the things I'd always wanted, everything I hated to admit.
*************************
Its been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
Its not okay,
but we're all right
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those were just a long lost memory of mine,
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm Still alive, Yea I'm still alive
*************************
It was everything I'd never allowed my self to say, everything I needed to. It made me feel weak and vulnerable. Hungry for sustenance of another kind, and I knew I'd been starving.
***************************
Its been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
Its not okay,
but we're all right
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those were just a long lost memory of mine,
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive
And sometimes,
I forgive,
and this time,
I'll admit,
That I miss you, I miss you
Hey Dad.
*************
I blinked my eyes, trying to force back the tears that streamed down my face, tried to still my trembling body, tried to silence my gasping breaths. I was drowning in it all, everything I felt seemed magnified, rendering me helpless to its effects. My vision grew cloudy with tears, my vision liquid.
The wind buffeted the car, sending it sliding this way and that on the road, until finally; a large oak loomed in front of the windshield, and through my tears, I couldn't see it until it was too late.
"Oh shit."
I slammed on the brakes, sending the car into a deadly spin. The snow swirled around the vehicle as the sound of the brakes screeching filled my ears. Fear grasped my heart and I thought about all I had to lose, my Dad, my Friends, The torch...Clark...The tree approached at a quickening pace, and I couldn't watch. I shut my eyes tight, unsure if maybe it was a good thing, if maybe I just wanted to give in for once, just let go, because it hurt so much. I grimaced as the small car collided with the tree. The crunch of metal was deafening, and vaguely, I could hear my self scream. My head struck the dash board with terrible force, and then there was a jolting motion, and then everything ceased.
I was a wash with pain, every part of my body wrung out with throbbing force, my head felt as if I'd taken a hammer to it. I tried to reach up to see what had happened, but I couldn't make it past my chest. The whole right side of the vehicle was mangled beyond belief, my arm wedged between a ruined seat and the steering wheel. There was a branch impaling the back window, and I sighed in disbelief before the edges of my sight began to fade, blurring, until everything fell into blackness.