Author's Note: Hi all! The "mystery" of the lady will probably be resolved in this chapter, if not definitely the next! I really enjoyed reading all the different opinions and the clues that everyone picked up – it as extremely interesting! The opinions are still divided but I must confess quite frankly that a few people have hit the nail on the head not only with regards to the question of "WHO IS SHE?" but also with regards to my plot. Well done!
cm: To see your name as a reviewer already brightens up my day and reading your insights is even more of a treat! As per normal, you have caught on perfectly! I realized that it would be rather "strange" as you mentioned, if Rui (being so supposedly intelligent) would fall for the entire setup even with his inexperience, "drunk" on the high following a successful operation, his "social cluelessness" (love the way you say it, I have to try to use this in one of my chapters) and his inner demons, so I decided to throw in the vodka and champagne as well!
ToinKs: *lol* Really enjoyed reading your witty comments! Desensitizing him? That was a really interesting way of thinking about things – made me really sit back and ponder how the experience will affect Rui. I had meant it to be part of a healing process to complete the cycle of intensive therapy that he appears to be undergoing willing or not ;) And you seem to think that Shadow is … …? ;)
Lian3: Thanks so much for your wonderfully encouraging comments! I must say definitely agree with you there about cm. Three words come to mind immediately - brilliant, breath-taking and heart wrenching. However, I think you're overly modest about your own abilities especially when English is not your mother tongue. Geez, I can't even begin to imagine writing in another language! :)
Pure Innocence: Thanks for dropping by! You stated 2 points that are both extremely valid! Oh dear, I don't seem to be helping much am I ;)? Really impressed with your 2nd observation and the answer to one of your observations will be revealed in the next chapter … … :)
Twilightstarz and Shari: I realized that both of you had the same impressions (i) she is Tsukushi and (ii) Rui is falling for her :). That was an excellent suggestion actually – Mystic – a dark figure shrouded in the cloak of mystery slinking away into the night! I previously used Shadow because she was suppose to be a rather "ordinary" looking girl (just as you highlighted "common") with her best ability being nondescript and making people feel comfortable. One does not notice a shadow. And you are right! Rui opened the door in er hm … … his birthday suit! However, it was more that he did not expect the bodyguards to be waiting in the adjoining room rather than him being so distracted as you rightfully pointed out. And, no I'm not really a fan of Jay Chou. However, that could be because I have not heard his songs or anything. :)
Blackcat: Thanks so much for your kind comments! Ah, the first one who does not believe she's Tsukushi (I'm responding from the latest to the earliest comments)! I hope the answer will be revealed in the next chapter!
*Yan*: Ah, so she fits in with the description of Tsukushi? That's a very astute observation. Well … … hang in there a little more, I think all things should come clear either in this chapter or the next !! :)
Nana-chan: I'm soooooooooooo glad that you liked Meteor Garden – A different POV! Actually I thought that you were here because you previously read that story, it's even better knowing that you like Façade for Façade and was not "lured" here because I wrote POV! Thanks so much for your generous comments and between which story do you prefer or is it too early to tell as yet?
kensingtonkid: You are so right! *lol* The girl acting "a tad" differently from Tsukushi's "hard working virgin" image is soooooo true.
Sheen: Rui is Soujirou's and Akira's assessment of what is your impression of Tsukushi correct?
Rui:???
Sheen: Ya know the "hard working virgin" image?
Rui: *Defensively* Why are you asking me?
Sheen: Well certain rumours have been floating around about you and a slim young lady with brown hair and doe-like eyes so … …
Rui: *blushes* F*** off before I sue you for invasion of privacy! *Storms off*
Sheen: Why Rui! What language … …
Drina: Hey, thanks so much for your advice! I will probably put PG-15 on the chapter instead. I must say I really have not idea what the rating should be – I thought R was a bit overboard too, but I was a bit worried because it's better to be careful than not eh? You observations really hit the nail on the head. I mean that observation about Rui's attraction to Shizuka? I actually was addressing that issue in this chapter – it's almost as if you read my mind ;)
piglet : Again very astute observations! You picked up very important details … … And you prefer Shadow (whomever she may be) to be Tuskushi ne? I hope this chapter will clarify things up, if not, the answer will definitely be provided in the next! Cross my heart!
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Chapter 14 – Departure
"Come in!" I was in the room almost before J had finished speaking, my eyes rapidly taking in every corner of the room. To my disappointment, J was alone in his study.
"Looking for something?" There was something close to amusement in his eyes as they looked at me. "By the way, well done Stein. The mission was a success, as usual … …"
"Who is Shadow?" I cut him off urgently, almost rudely. I could see that he was rather taken aback by my abrupt question although he hid it well.
"You met her last night – she is another agent belonging to a different department in our organization." I lifted a quizzical eyebrow at his evasive answer. Well, at least he was intelligent enough not to pretend that he had no idea of her identity or existence. That would have been futile.
"But you sent her."
"To be accurate, that was a joint project … …" He evaded the real question underlying my statement by providing a superficial answer.
"How much does she know?"
"As much as the rest of you." His fingers were drumming the table, a sure sign that he was getting a little worried by my questions. I had enough of his evasive answers and decided to try another tactic.
"I want to see her."
"Stein, you know that unless you are both on a mission together, we do not arrange for agents to meet each other socially … …"
"What if I say I lo … … that I have feelings for her?" I made the deliberate slip as I watched him closely.
"Stein … … how did this happen?" Disbelief flashed in his eyes for an instance. Then his forehead furrowed in consternation as realization dawned upon him.
That bastard, I gritted my teeth mentally as I obtained my answer from his reaction. I was right in being suspicious - the whole thing was a setup. Shadow had obviously been trying to seduce me right from the moment she walked into my room. However, I had to applaud J for his extremely well-planned little ploy. He knew that the combined effects of providing alcohol and the reaction from a successful but highly stressful mission would get anyone drunk, especially someone with a track record like mine. I also had to admit that his choice of the main actress in this scheme was brilliant – I doubt that there was anyone who could match her skill in subtle seduction. J had probably briefed her about my unique circumstances, which would explain for her exceedingly (but necessary) careful treatment of me.
Although I had to admit that J probably had my best interests at heart, no one enjoys being played for a fool especially not yours truly. Also, giving him the benefit of the doubt, in his earnestness to help me out he had ignored or had probably forgotten (he was probably too jaded) the potential silly romantic notions that I could have entertained as a result of her kindness and consideration to someone as inexperienced as me, especially in my exceptionally vulnerable mental and emotional state. They did not realize that I might not have been able to put things into perspective and seen the experience for what it was meant to be – a good lay and part of a healing process. I must confess that I had been in a little danger of reading more than I should into the incident, but thank goodness for my analytical abilities! However, there was no way I was going to pass up an opportunity to make J squirm.
"Stein?" I lifted my head to see J observing me very carefully as he waited for my answer. I lowered my eyes immediately and turned my head sharply to one side, giving the impression that I was embarrassed by his question or even worse, that I did not want him to see and recognize the emotion in my eyes for what it was. I thought of the most embarrassing moments in my life, allowing a slight blush to cover my cheeks as I shifted my weight "uneasily". I was probably producing the perfect picture of a shy boy being in love for the first time in his love or experiencing his first serious crush, I thought wryly.
I heard the sounds of J clearing his throat uneasily, "er … … Stein … …"
"Well, things happened, ok?" I turned on him at once, my eyes flashing with "outraged dignity" as I "misunderstood" his hesitation for the intent to probe further. "She's wonderful!" I protested loudly, gloating inwardly as he flinched at the double meaning behind my words.
"Stein, she's not a local. She actually did us a favour by participating in this mission even though she was on a holiday. You'll never see her again."
"Where is she from?"
"Stein, you're not even thinking of … …"
"I have no problems with dual citizenship."
"Look, I think that you are going overboard with this … …" I threw him a scathing look that warned him not to "belittle" my feelings.
"It's just gratitude you feel for her … …" he reasoned calmly. "Also, it may not mean anything to her … …"
"If she didn't feel anything she wouldn't have … …" I curtailed my sentence suddenly and began again, "how dare you imply … …" There was just the right amount of anger in my voice. Then I balled my hands into fists and waited.
"Stein, let's cut out all these hysterics." There was something in his cool and emotionless voice that made me decide to terminate my superb performance. I found him looking at me through narrowed eyes with a speculative expression on his face. Ah, so the fox had caught on. "Alright, I sent her," he slowly admitted as he graciously conceded defeat. My expressionless mask fell smoothly in place.
"How did you get her to agree? And how much did you tell her?" My voice was as calm as his. We could have been discussing the weather.
"I only told her that you were attacked in the line of duty. She agreed to help a fellow comrade out. The extent of her aid was not discussed although it was probably implicit given the circumstances … …" I blinked once, slowly. Yeah, any female with half a brain would have known what was expected of her. Then he added dryly, "I guess your looks didn't hurt either. I showed her a photograph."
"Thanks," was my sarcastic rejoinder.
"Well, now that we've settled this little issue … …" J was back being his brisk business-like self. I settled myself on the chair in front of him and prepared myself for another new assignment … …
After that experience, I saw Soujirou's and Akira's lifestyles through new eyes as they went out gallivanting until the early hours of the morning. I now knew of the comfort and pleasures that a woman's body could offer. However, I was even more aware of their transient natures that only intensified the aching emptiness and loneliness following a meaningless romp where there is a lack of genuine emotions or even regard for one's partner. I doubted that my friends were really as shallow to indulge themselves simply to boost their ego or for the sheer fun of the chase. Instead, their behaviour reinforced my belief that all four of us had our own issues, but that we dealt with them in our own way in line with our characters. Tsukasa's outlet was violence because he always had anger management issues. Soujirou and Akira, on the other hand, simply chose to avoid thinking about their problems by hiding beneath cheerful fun-loving exteriors, and released their frustrations in other ways as aforementioned. And as for me, I had my own fortress of silence. Indeed, thankfully, we had each other and Shizuka as well.
Talking about Shizuka, she flitted around the four of us like a beautiful butterfly and cared for us like an elder sister. We returned her regard and there was this unspoken agreement between the four of us to protect her. Also, the rift between Shizuka and myself (that had been of my own making) had mended a little, and we had grown closer. It was inevitable because we only had each other to confide in about certain matters. Slowly, I had started to open up to her again. However, I had never really been much of the talker even previously, hence I would be listening quietly as she spoke about her hopes and dreams about the future, growing more and more animated by the moment. I always thought that no one could ever look more beautiful than her as she sat in the shade of the tree, her eyes sparkling with life and her face glowing with excitement, her hands occasionally moving gracefully to emphasize a particular point. Then, she would try and get me to talk to her. I really had to credit her intelligence – she knew what topics would interest me and what topics to avoid, never saying anything to hurt or to embarrass me. She loved hearing me play the violin and sometimes a few hours would pass pleasantly in my music room with both of us playing our respective favourite instruments in turn. And I was just sixteen after all and still relatively inexperienced with regards to the matters of the world and of the heart. Who would blame me if I confess now that I had started to develop a small crush on her?
Then one day, she suddenly came to my house unannounced and dragged me out into the garden. She sat down under our favourite tree and pulled me down beside her. There was a rather distracted air about her. I frowned slightly when I saw that her small white even teeth were nibbling her lower lip, and her hands were tightly clasped together as she stared into the distance for a moment. Her strange behaviour was making me worried, however, I held my silence as I waited patiently.
"Rui." I turned and watched her profile carefully.
"I'm going to Paris … …" I was stunned for a moment. Then she turned and her beautiful eyes pleaded for my understanding. "A very well-known modeling agency spotted me and they want to train me to become one of their top models. They're allowing me to continue with my studies as well … …"
"How long?"
"Probably a couple of years … …"
"Don't go." The words slipped out before I knew what I was saying. "Don't leave us, please."
She turned to me and I saw that her dark eyes were brimming with tears although there was a smile on her lips as well. "I don't want to leave you all too. However, you know I have always dreamt of being a model and studying in Europe. This is my one and probably only opportunity! And … …" she added in a lower tone, "I'll be free of the agency's demands for a couple of years, Rui. This break will allow me to develop and grow into my own person."
I kept quiet, looking at the ground as I struggled with my conflicting emotions. One side of me selfishly wanted to beg her to remain by our side, whilst the other was ordering me to feel happy for her and let her fulfill her dreams. She reached out and held my head between her hands, turning my face towards hers.
"Please Rui, you are one of my dearest friends. I really would like to have your support."
"You are definitely going aren't you." It was a statement not a question.
"Yes." The words "with or without your blessing" were unspoken, however, I recognized the determination in her eyes and the familiar stubborn set of her jaw. There was absolutely nothing I could say that would change her mind.
"Come back soon," I said with a resigned air. With a glad cry, she flung her arms around me and we held each other tightly for a long moment. I bowed my head into her hair as I inhaled her familiar jasmine scent, knowing that there will be few if any such opportunities in the next two years.
"Thanks so much, Rui! I'll go and tell the others … …" She kissed me softly on the lips before she ran off, leaving me staring helplessly at her disappearing figure … …