Ok, I fixed the review part about not excepting anonymous ones, so I expect more reviews. As I can tell by the comments so far, everybody is enjoying this and laughing quite a bit. That's good, I'm glad I could make some people laugh for a change. And there would be no Excel or Menchi-potpie or a crazy fic like this without Rikudo Koshi making Excel Saga.note, I'm using movie titles and movie moments in here so people from there, DUN SUE ME EITHER!

Chapter 4: The Unexpected Happens…

Misaki punches Iwata into a nightclub table, breaking it in half. "Don't you DARE touch me again you perverted bastard" Misaki threatens "You're paying for that table too" she say, pointing at the table he's standing up from before turning around. She sits down on a bar stool and orders two bottles of sake.

…No matter what the time, we'll always be together…

Yuna is sitting near the front of the club with Inuyasha, not really paying attention to the music. She leans over to kiss him but someone…or something, lands on her head.

"Yohohoho! Marco!" Ninja shouts while landing on Yuna's head.

Ferret and Excel are hiding underneath a table about 20 feet from Ninja's current location. "Polo!" they both shout back in unison.

Ropponmatsu the 2nd lands on Inu's head and starts rubbing his doggie ears "Marco!"

"POLO!"

Ninja takes out a pair of binoculars and searches the area. He finally spots them. "Gotcha!"

Ropponmatsu the 2nd stops rubbing Inu's ear and she turns her knee into a rocket launcher "Target sighted!"

Ninja aims Ropponmatsu at Excel and Ferret. "Target locked?" he asks.

Ropponmatsu uses her sniper mode of vision and locks on to them. "TARGET LOCKED!" she confirms.

Ferret looks to Excel "Do you think midgets and Menchi-pot-pie and Naked™ can save us now Excel?"

Excel tries thinking by sniffing a sharpie and concentrating, but that gets her nowhere fast. She looks to Ferret and, with a definitive tone in her voice, says "Not at all"

Ferret hug/tackles Excel, crying "BUT I DON'T WANNA DIE! IT'S NOT SEXSHY!"

Excel hugs back "There, there solider, we put up a okay fight…" she tells her as she pops open a couple cans of Naked™ and hand one to her "Cheer up, it's Naked™ time!"

They both cry while chugging Naked™. Ninja sticks a few plungers of DOOM™ inside Ropponmatsu's knee. "Fire!" he commands.

"Rodger!" she exclaims and she fires the plungers at Excel and Ferret, who on contact fall over when the plungers hit their head.

Ninja starts jumping up and down on Yuna's head "uh huh, oh yeah, we da' winners, we da' winners!"

Ropponmatsu closes up her knee and reaches for Inuyasha's ears again, this time though, he catches her hands and flips her over onto the table he's sitting at. "DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!" he shouts in her robo ears.

Yuna looks at Inuyasha, get up and walks away. Inuyasha leaps after her, jumping over her and turns around, and grips her shoulders. "What did I do!" he shouts at her

Yuna looks into his golden eyes, completely calm. "You insulted my family members…I told you about this last time…remember that?"

flashback

Inuyasha is jumping after Rinoa, who is trying to fly away from him

"Get back here wench!"

"Ahhh! Get away from me!"

He almost rips off her left wing but ends up being incased in stone from a break spell Yuna casted

"Just because she stole Tetsuseiga from you doesn't mean you try to HURT HER!"

End Flashback

Inuyasha thinks and slowly lies "no…"

"Yes you do, and I told you that we were going to break up if it ever happened again…I'm sorry Inuyasha but you blew it" Yuna tells him in the most polite way possible before removing the shocked dog demons hands from her shoulders and walking off to the bar and sitting down, ordering a large bottle of sake.

At the same time, in a bar two miles away on the ship…

"Chug! Chug! Chug!", Vin eggs Sasuke on as he downs his 15th mug of beer and is fairly wasted as he was already by the time he was on his 12th. Edward is bouncing around his bar stool, jumping on the tables and eventually Sasuke's head.

"You can do it dad!" Edward tells him as she sticks a daisy behind his ear for good luck.

Sasuke finally slams the mug down on the flimsy bar table empty as the crowd cheers, with a few exceptions. You can see in the corner of the tavern that Ninja, Vegeta and Dante are booing Sasuke, just because they have a grudge against him. Sasuke gets up and drunkenly stumbles over to the small group and gives them the finger. He then nearly falls out the door onto Xen and Void, almost swallowed up in his endless abyss. Xenobia looks down and gets Sasuke to his feet and helps him over to his cabin.

Xen looks to Sasuke "What happened to you? Bar fight?"

Sasuke goes spirally eyed "Uhhhhhhhh….."

"Ahhh! Don't pass out!" Xen tells him as they turn the corner, running past Force and Rinoa who happen to be coming back from a 'friendly' tennis match against Zero and Rea.

"I hate ties…" Rinoa sighs as her aunt passes her.

Force looks at her and smiles "We can break it in the morning when they're off guard from staying up all night…"

Rinoa looks up to the sky, blanketed in bright stars against its darkness. "That's true…It's taking the day forever to end…"

Vegeta runs up to Rinoa and shakes her by her shoulders. "Where's Yuna!" He shouts in her face, raging with anger.

"I don't know…" Rinoa lies threw her teeth. She really doesn't want him with her sister Yuna or with anybody in her family to be precise.

Vegeta senses she's lying so he tightens his grip on her and transforms into his SSJ2 form. He takes one of his hands off her shoulders and grabs her neck "Don't lie to me!"

Force pulls out his rapier and stabs Vegeta in the side and pulls his hands off Rinoa. "Did he hurt you?"

"I get this a lot…I'm used to it…"

"….."

"…It always happens when you're not around…" Rinoa tells him before Vegeta comes up from behind her, wraps his hands around her waist and disappears into thin air.

Force grabs his rapier off the deck and opens up his own portal and warps after them.

Vegeta and Rinoa reappear two decks above where they were and he throws her into an empty suites glass door, making her crash threw it. She falls to the carpeting, surrounded by glass shards and her own blood. He jumps into the suite, grabs her by her bleeding neck and slams her body into a wall, splattering her blood on the wall, not really visible though on the crimson wallpapering of the room.

"Tell me now bitch…" Vegeta orders Rinoa, looking into her terrified eyes.

Rinoa grimaces and looks to him in pain "You can't make me…tell you…"

Vegeta unsheathes his sword and thrusts it into her chest, twists it around and pulls it out slowly. "Don't make me kill you…" he threatens.

Rinoa winces and cries out in pure anguish "She's in the NightBird Lounge…" She then passes out from the blood loss and is still held up by Vegeta's hand.

He stares at her inanimate body and wonders of he really did kill her. The thought of it makes him go into a fury and he throws her body into the floor, casting her into a painting gallery below the suite.

Force finally comes out of the right portal and by that time, he's too late to stop what already happened. Vegeta disappeared when he stepped over the broken glass inset door. When he looks into the hole, a crowd has now gathered around Rinoa, everybody wondering what just happened. He plunges down the hole after her; he lands next to Rinoa and starts casting riselem on her. The crowd starts making assumptions, thinking Force tried to kill Rinoa and now he's using 'the power of Satan' to seal it. X.x Weird crowd, huh?

Two men step out of the crowd, both wearing black suits with sunglasses on. They both pull out silver sticks with red lights on top of them.

"If you want to know what happened, look over here!" one of the men shouts.

After the crowd turns to looks at the men, a bright light fills the gallery. Force was in the middle of casting a sacrulen spell when he was flashed with the light which caused him to lose his memory of what just happened.

Rinoa sits up, healed and looks at Force who looks like he's zoned out. She waves her hand in front of his eyes several times and he doesn't blink. She stands up and does the same thing to a few more people; none of them blink.

"What's going on?" she wonders aloud.

One of the men sees her and he says "Miss…"

Rinoa turns around "ye…" she responds before she too in wiped of her memory of the incident.

"Miss, nothing has happened out of the ordinary. Goodnight to you" he tells her.

"Goodnight….to you…too…" Rinoa says before walking back to Force and everything seems to be normal once again. No hole in the ceiling, no blood dripping from her arm…but there is still a pain in her chest.

Force looks for Rinoa in the crowd and finally finds her "What are we doing here?" he asks her.

"I don't really know…"

"Weird…."

"Very…Let's find Rea and Zero, okay?"

Rinoa nods and Force pulls out his rapier and makes an area of distorted space appear and they both jump through on there search…

Two hours later, approximately 10:50pm, almost everybody on the ship has gathered to the concert area for a very bad parody on American Idol. Excel is playing Paula (God help us), Randy is being played by Aoshi and the dreaded Simon is playing by none other then drumrollllllllll…. Zero! Yes, this band of judges will be voting on who will be the next American Idol!

Rikku the Thief is up, singing Yeah by Usher, Ludacris, and Lil Jon.

"…Conversation got heavy,

She had me feelin like she's ready to blow!

She saying come get me, come get me,

So I got up and followed her to the floor,

She said baby lets go,

When I told her I said…"

"Stop, stop…." Zero says as he holds he hand out "Very nice song but you can't sing…so sorry…"

Aoshi kicks Zero and says "Rikku, I loved your singing, great voice. You're in"

Excel was sniffing a sharpie the whole time and was completely zoned out "Ummmmm…Uhhhhhhhh….great job….Riku…I MEAN RIKKU! X.X"

Next was Rea, singing I'm Speechless by Avalon

"…When I try to speak from my heart

I don't know where to start

When it comes to you

I'm speechless

Nothing holds a candle to your love

I'm amazed by your grace

Your forgiving embrace

And I'm finding words could never be enough

I'm speechless…"

She ends up crying at the very end and she gets helped off the stage by Zero before judging her performance. He runs back to his chair to sit next to a high Excel. (You REALLY gotta feel bad for him….)

"She's the best so far! I say she's in!" Zero proudly says, trying to hide his blushing by boasting.

Excel takes out a pink sharpie, saying in a dark voice. "Don't make me do this…."She raises the sharpie into the air and hundreds of paper balls come flying at the back of Zero's head.

"EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR DATING HER! YOUR OPINION DOESN'T COUNT ON THIS ONE!" Force shouts from the balcony as the remaining judges agree.

"YEAH ZERO, BE FAIR!" Rinoa shouts at him while making another paper ball to throw at him.

Zero gets redder and redder as the comments keep coming. "SHUT UP ELF BOY AND MRS. ELF!" he shouts back at them and he puts his head down on the table to hide his bright red face.

"Well….um….I liked Rea's performance, you Excel?" Aoshi slowly says, trying not to get Zero agitated.

"Yups, very shexy, I give're two Nakeds™ up! Way up!" Excel says in a megaphone, right next to Zero's ear. She looks at him and the megaphone and him again "Oops, it's not on all the way…"

After several minutes, Zero's calmed down now and the parody goes on. The next contestant is Rinoa and she's singing My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. (lethalSelphie: Okay, you people getting the reference? They're on a ship and she's singing a love song ON A SHIP and it was in a movie WITH A SHIP…oh, forget you people, you either A) are stupid B) have NEVER seen Titanic or C) BOTH!. I GIVE UP!)

"Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on…

…Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime…

…You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on…"

Well, just as what happened in Rea's case, she also cries near the end of the song. Well, maybe everybody should stop picking emotional songs, eh? Well, this gave the judges something to talk about…

"I really liked it, she put her emotions into the song…her pitch dropped near the end though, did you hear that?" Aoshi asks his fellow family members.

Excels looks to Aoshi "Nope, you got your hearing aid in?" She looks on the side of his head to see no hearing aid. "Hey, where's your hearing aid grandpa?"

Aoshi looks Excel in the eyes "I don't wear a hearing aid….and I'm not your grandpa….I'm your brother, remember?"

Excel trys thinking and all she can think of is a certain dog, so she yells out "Menchi!" and gnaws on Aoshi's arm. He sighs "Ok, what about you Zero?"

"Yeah, I heard it…Thank god she isn't a Celine Dion or I'd have to kill her…" Zero replies with murder written on his eyes.

"So you agree she's out?"

"…."

"I'll take that as a yes…." Aoshi says before turning on the microphone "Rinoa is not in! So sorry!"

The parody never got better, everybody's singing went down hill as the 'tryouts' progressed. Eventually, the audience almost fell asleep of boredom so they called it a night.

"Come on, give me a hint!" Rinoa begs Force on the way to their suite.

He pulls out the keycard "Don't think so…"

"Pleeeeeeease! I'll forget over night, I promise!"

Force slips the card into the slot in the door "Well….." he starts before getting cut off by the computerized voice. "Welcome to your suite, please enjoy your stay" He walks into the suite and looks around "Very nice…"

Rinoa walks in after him and stands in front of him and looks him in the eye "Stop getting off the topic, what did you get me for Valentine's Day?"

"Something I know you'll like…I'm not saying anymore…" he grins and walks around the breakfast table.

Rinoa sighs "There's no getting threw you…Say, do you have a silver magic spell that allows the user to get into the targets mind?"

"There might be…if you're a good girl, I might teach it to you"

Rinoa shakes her head and lies on the sofa "As long as I have you, I don't need anything else…"

Force sits on the other side of the sofa and looks at her "So you're saying I shouldn't give it to you after all?"

She sits up and smiles "I'm not saying that…"

A flash of light illuminates the room from the large window across from them, making it appear that they are glowing for the moment. Then a large clap of thunder is the only sound heard beside the ocean smashing against the side of the vessel. Rinoa lunges at Force and embraces him tightly.

"I hate the thunder" she whispers to him.

Force holds her close. "The storm will blow over soon…I'm sure it won't last long…"

She nods when the room grows bright again "Maybe if we go to bed it will go away faster?" she queries as she lifts her head to looks at Force's face. "Aren't you tired?"

"Yeah…it has been a long day, huh?" Force agrees. He gets up off the couch and picks Rinoa up. "The lady shouldn't walk…"

She giggles as he walks with her in his arms to the bedroom and he sets her down on the bed. "You're a true gentleman…"

He lies down next to her "…And those nowadays are hard to come by…" he finishes her sentence as the main room flickers once again, followed by another loud boom. Rinoa clings to him "Please don't go anywhere…"

Force hugs her back "I'm not leaving this ship without you…"

Rinoa kisses him on the lips and he passionately kisses her back. They both fall asleep in each others arms.

Around 11:40, a certain shadow named Gaites paid the sleeping couple a visit. When he appeared, the room turned frigid and Rinoa started to shiver as she always does when Gaites is in her presence. He smiles, being so happy he can make her frightened. He walks over to her and puts his hand on her forehead and at once is enveloped in her emotions and desires.

"Sickening…" he says while letting go of her. "Love is one of the most detestable things in the world…How can anybody submit to it?"

He stares at Rinoa. "My master…He'll need you soon…Don't be dying now…" he sends to her mind as he fades away, into the darkness, taking the bitter air with him.

"Well….you know tomorrow is Valentine's Day, right?" Rea slowly says cuddling up to Zero on the loveseat.

"Yes….what are you getting at Rea?" Zero asks, full of suspicion.

"Why don't we give each other our presents right now? It's like ten minutes to midnight anyway!"

"Okay…you first" he says as he watches her crawl over to her bag and pull out something long, wrapped in red wrapping paper with a dark red bow in the middle.

"It's something I know you'll like…Rinoa helped me pick it out…" Rea tells Zero and smiles as he rips the paper and ribbon off to reveal an orange lightblade with a pale yellow handle.

"Very nice…what's the name and what does it do?"

"It's based on the theory that the Mind, Heart, Body and Soul can't be without each other in all life forms. There are four blades, each being able to control one of the four parts of life. You could even fuse the swords together to make one of the most powerful swords of all time. You have MindBreak, its like Mariks ability to erase memories from people only you don't know what memories you're erasing. There's a spell to counter this effect and it brings back the memories to whoever you were fighting."

"Awesome!"

"You wanna try it out?"

"On who? I can't break into Force's room in the middle of the night."

Rea stands up "On me, I don't mind…"

Zero nods and gets up too. He backs up a few feet and points it at Rea. "You sure about this?"

Rea nods "Positive"

After the confirmation, he rushes at her and slashes at her chest. He goes a little bit deeper then he intended and catches her body before she hits the ground. He heals her with a cure spell "Are you alright Rea?"

Rea slaps Zero across the face and inches away from him "Who the Hell are you? And how do you know my name?"

The lightening brightens the room, making them glow white for a moment before turning normal again.

He recovers and grasps her wrist "Don't you remember me? I'm Zero, your boyfriend."

Rea, trys to get away from him. "Stay away from me, you weirdo! I don't have a boyfriend!"

Zero reads the incantation on the piece of paper around the hilt "Nalujin dro sasuneac"

Rea looks around and finally to Zero "What happened Zero? Did it work?"

He nods and helps her over to the loveseat. "It worked alright…a little too well…"

Rea kisses Zero "Glad I could help…" she tells him before casting a sleep spell on them.

Zero kisses back and Rea falls on top of him, asleep, forcing him to lie on the couch with her on top of him. He kisses her again before falling asleep himself. "Goodnight Rea…"

Cid looks out to the storm in disarray. "What the Hell are we going to do? That hurricane is going to get to us soon, half hour, tops."

The moogles that happen to be the ships crew look to each other. "Kukukupokupokupopopoppppoooookuoooopooookupo!" they yell at their captain. (translated) "We got to get out of here, NOW, before it turns us over!"

"All we have are these damn lifeboats!"

"Kuukupokupo, KUPOKUPOKUUUUUU!" (translated) "We use what we have, GET THEM OFF NOW BEFORE THEY ALL DIE!"

Cid gets on the PA "Attention passengers! A severe category 4 hurricane is coming this way! Get to the main deck if you plan on living!"

One of the moogles walks over to Cid and kicks him in the leg "Kupokupokupppoookukukukppppooo!" (translated) "You asshole, everybody's sleeping on here except us!"

Cid sweatdrops "Then we should just wait on this ship and hope we don't die? It would take forever to wake everybody up…"

The moogles nod and look out to sea at the hurricane and think (we're dead.)

(lethalSelphie: mwhahahahahahah! I'm stopping here because I'm tired of typing! What will happen to the characters….dun dun DUN!)