OK, sorry this took so long but my computer had issues. Oh yeah, and I don't own any of the following: Excel Saga, the characters ('cept Rinoa), the various uses of movies and clichés, ect.. NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW!

Chapter 5: Is It Morning Yet?

Kikyo floats high above her bed, nearly touching the ceiling with the tip of her nose, singing "I've become so numb, I can't feel you there…"

She lowers herself a couple inches, rolls over in midair and opens her bloodshot eyes. She stares at the boombox across the room and rolls her eyes to the back of her head. Using her eyes as a remote, she turns the volume dial to maximum in the pitch blackness of the room.

Med throws off the covers and grabs some ear plugs off her nightstand. She lays back down, plugs in ears and trys to go back to sleep.

Fox joins in on the singing after rolling over herself. "I'm becoming this, All I want to do, Is be more like me, And be less like you!"

Med feels around the nightstand for the remote and eventually finds it. She points it in the direction of the music and presses mute. Fox and Kikyo still sing, even though the music is off. "Shut up you guys! Don't you ever sleep!" she yells over their voices, pulling out her ear plugs so she can hear them answer.

Fox pulls out her staff and creates a dark ball of fire in the center of the room. She looks to Kikyo. They both nod, look to Med, and say in unison "No and no"

"Can't you sing in the morning? I'm sure other people on this boat would rather sleep then listen to you two sing…"

That was a fatal mistake Med made of adding that last sentence. Fox put down her staff, stood up and jumped over to Med. She couched down next to Med and told her "I smell death on you…"

And the mistakes keep coming. "Why thanks Fox, that means a lot to me…" Med tells her while digging out a death spell under her bed. She flicks the spell at the mage but, since Fox has the reflect bangle on, it is reflected back to Med, killing herself instead.

Fox stands up and kicks Meds lifeless body lightly. "I'll revive her later…She's good and dead….How 'bout some bloody marshmallows, Kikyo?" she asks, hopping to the carpeting and walking threw the dark red flame.

Kikyo descends and floats over to her duffel and pulls out a couple goblets, a bag of marshmallows and a few flasks of AB+ blood. Fox moves the great ball of fire over to the corner of the room so they have room to snack. She also snatches the remote from Med and blasts the music to kingdom come.

As the two girls sing their hearts out and take part in a midnight snack, music blares all over the immense vessel, drowning out Cid's warnings.

Key rounds the corner, humming one of his many songs. He finds Ill Palazzo and Excel's cabin and opens the door, shouting "Hey Ill Palazzo!" loud enough that he can hear himself over his headphones.

Ill Palazzo shoves his head under his pillow and pretends to be asleep. (Damn narcissistic bastard! What the Hell does he want now!)

Key walks over and shuts off Ill Palazzo's 58" plasma hanging on the wall so he has his attention. "Have you seen Excel lately? She stole my Baby and…"

He's cut off by Ill Palazzo's sudden jump out of bed, his face painted with a look of horror. "Your...ba-ba-…baby!"

Key tilts his head to the side, looking back at him in an equally odd way. "Ya know, my Buttercup, my Darlin', Snookums…"

"YOU NEVER HAD KIDS!...did you?" Illpalazzo yells at him, about to kill the rocker if he has to.

"I'm not talking about some kiddo. I'm talking about the instrument the muse of Heaven gave to me…" Key says as he goes all misty eyed, in a freaky shojo style "She was the most beautiful muse I ever saw in my life…"

Illpalazzo kicks him out of his small room "Get out! I haven't seen Excel or your damn guitar! Let me sleep!" he tells him before he slams the door shut and walks back to bed.

"Then again….where IS Excel….Hyatt's not here either…hope they didn't do anything stupid…" Illpalazzo wonders but before he can do another thing, he is fast asleep.

"Mambo, Mambo, Mambo, Everybody MAMBO!" Excel screams on the top of her lungs while hitting Ninja, who is trying to drink a beer like a normal person for a change, on the head with Key's electric guitar. "HAVE FUN DAMNIT!"

"I AM having fun…I'm playing a drinking game to Excel Saga…You died again Ex." He says while popping open another beer, which he chugs down.

Excel tilts her head to the side and picks up the Nazi Crab and dances to a jig that happens to be playing. She accidentally steps on Crab and kills it.

"PEDRO, 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'" She shouts at the top of her lungs.

Hyatt looks at Crab then to her senior. "Maybe Senior can go ask a person that can heal to revive your Crab?"

Excel pokes Watanabe's body "Is HE dead too?"

Hyatt shakes her head "Watanabe-kun just had too many adult beverages."

Excel picks up Crab off the hardwood floor, sets a liter bottle of Naked™ in Hyatt's hands and runs off, yelling "Hy-Chan! Guard that with your life!"

She salutes Excel before collapsing on the ground, dead.

(lethalSelphie: Hyatt dies too much…)

(Excel: You gotta problem with that, miss writer person!)

(lethalSelphie: Nope, just stating the obvious…I'm bored…YOU gotta problem with that?)

(Excel: Yup)

(As this cat-fight takes place backstage, the story continues…)

Excel runs to the lobby where she figures all in information is at.

"Yo person!" some hippy playing the acoustic says to Excel, waving a peace sign at her.

Excel continues running (Mental note: When ACROSS takes over this world, remember to get hippies better health care…if there are any left then…)

She runs across an information booth run by a robot version of Hyatt. "Hy-Chan?" she asks the robot.

"My name is Hyatt X-Tron 42. What would you like me to help you with…coughcoughcoughtonight?" the robot asks Excel, spewing oil all over her.

Excel shakes the slimy stuff off her and thinks (Even in robot form, she STILL has health problems…better health care for robots too…) "Uh...can you get me Rinoa's room number?"

Robo Hyatt closes her eyes and goes threw her data base. With her eyes still closed, she says "What is her last name?"

(Oh Shit,) Excel thinks (I don't remember her last name! Think Excel! Think!) She puts her hands up to her head and sits cross-legged on the ground and thinks while the robot asks for Rinoa's last name again.

"Oh yeah, her last name's Angelilly! Rinoa Angelilly!" Excel says in a matter of seconds.

"Thank you. She is in Suite #6 with her boyfriend Sylfaenas Angelforce. They are both inside their suite at this moment but no movement has been detected since 12:09am tonight. Anything else?"

Excel had ran off when she heard the number and was on her way until she crossed paths with Vegeta at Suite #6's door.

"DAMNIT RINOA! THERE IS NO NIGHTBIRD LOUNGE ON THIS SHIP!" He shouts at the top of his lungs and transforms into his Super Saiyin 4 form once more. He looks like he's ready to break down the door with just his brute strength.

Excel runs over to him and whispers in his ear "You do know you got the wrong room AND floor, right?"

"This is the one robo Momoji told me was hers."

"Robo Momoji is broken, only robo Hyatt is working now."

Vegeta glares at Excel before running off to the lobby to re-check his information.

Excel sighs "Boy, he's a stupid whoremonger"

Excel, unable to pick locks or doing anything that counts under the thievery/stealth class, kicks at the door with Excel Kick, but it doesn't budge. She takes out her key card and slides it in the panel next to the door and it opens. "Gay thing…Doors should kick down when they are told to…" she says over the computerized voice.

She looks around the dark room and shouts "Rinoa! You up? Revive my Crab!" She attempts to sneak around in the dark but she trips over a box and flies into the bed, falling to the floor with a bump on her head. Rubbing the bump, she stands up, still yelling "Get up Rinoa!" ect.. When she sees her sleeping in bed with Force, not realizing they still have on their evening attire, she covers her eyes with her hands and slowly backs out of the open room "Err…sorry to...err…disturb you sis….err…will you still revive my…Nazi Crab…please?" she asks, sweatdrops covering her face.

Excel falls over again, away from the bedroom this time, but she didn't fall from her own clumsiness. The waves crashing against the ship are getting harder and rougher as the storm continues, getting closer to the ship as it gets stronger. Deep in one of the eyes of the hurricanes, The Oni, in Pyro's body, is controlling this storm along with several others that are slowly surrounding the ship. He decides to hurl one into the starboard side and it crushes the glass windows into many shards. Gaites appears next to his master and bows. "The Elf and the girl are on board master. What are your intentions?"

"I'm just having a little fun…If they survive, then they are worth my time. If they parish, it's one less thing for me to do when I destroy this miserable planet, once and for all…"

"What about your sister master? What if Lumina imposes again?"

"I'll just imprison her in another galaxy and if she does break free, it will be too late. When she finds out, she might hate me, but that won't last an eternity, right?"

"Siblings can be bothersome…she'll come around."

"Anything else Gaites?" The Oni asks before slamming two monsoons into the port side of the vessel below, his smirk growing larger as he does more damage to his 'toy'.

"Well, umm…I was wondering, Master…Why do I have to watch over the Elf and the girl while you have all the fun?"

The Oni turns his head and glares at Gaites "You are to do as you are told…Do not question you duties Gaites…Something bad could happen to a certain demoiselle, if you get my drift…"

Gaites bows before he fades "Never again will I question your will, Master…" he tells him quietly. He reappears in another monsoon, to watch the fun as it unravels.

As the storm grew stronger and proved more of a threat with each growing second, many of the passengers on board St. Valentine grew aware of the danger…but by then, it was too late. The Oni hovered high in the dark sky, his laughter echoing into the darkness when a sudden flash of light brings forth a bolt of lightening, striking at the bow of the ship. Several people started to scream or shout "Help us! Somebody, save us!" but nobody was going to answer their cries 170 miles away from F-City, F-Providence's port, which was on the edge of the large town.

When the two vortexes slammed into the portside of the cruise ship, it shattered every glass window on that side as they hammered into them. The groups of people standing on the starboard side were thrown into the sea; everybody else flew into the wall or furniture to the right of them.

Zero and Rea fly off the couch into the metal framework of the windows, the sharp glass shards cutting up their arms and legs before they take the plunge into the Sea of Japan, followed by anything not nailed to the floor. One suite over, Excel is thrown overboard as well, but not before getting a large gash on the right of her head from who knows what. Rinoa and Force had rolled off their bed into one of the few windows not broken by the storm but the monsoon holding The Oni soon changes that, for it slammed against the starboard side, shattering the remaining intact windows, including the one Rinoa and Force were pressed into. Before they had the chance to wake up, to realize what was happening, they too, fell into the icy cold water.

Kitty was preoccupied chasing after Void, especially when she found out that he was engaged to Xen. She actually stole a butcher knife from one of the many kitchens on the liner and when she over heard him propose…well, you can kind of guess what happened…As is, she took a clean slice at his back before he got the chance to run the Hell away from her. The two fell overboard when the two storms collided with the ship and, as she fell, Kitty dropped the implement and it the water 5 feet away from both her and Void.

Yet again, the two Rikku's were thieving again, this time on Misaki's group. Of course, they weren't faster then the storm as it came crashing down on the deck, washing them into the ocean. In fact, every single passenger and crew member had fallen into the ocean in the middle of horrid weather! Now, what are the odds of that?

(lethalSelphie: Uhhhhhhhh….one in 8,598,488,723,829 billion?)

(Angelforce walks in with Zero)

(Angelforce: One in 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 billion.)

(Zero: -stabs Force in the side with his new light sword- No you dumbass, one in 99,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 billion!)

(Angelforce: -doesn't even flinch-….you just stuck another 9 in front of it…you thief…)

(lethalSelphie: -hits them both in the head with a mallet REALLY REALLY HARD!- It's MY fic and I say it's 8,598,488,723,829 billion!)

(-Both of the boys get a bump on their heads and they turn to Selphie with fire burning in their eyes.- WE'RE BICKERING, CAN YOU SEE THAT?)

(lethalSelphie: -crawls back in her hole- Sor- ry! Jeez! -Goes back to typing-)

The Oni's fun started to dim when all of the passengers had littered the oceans with themselves and their belongings. All that was left to do now was to destroy the only mode of transportation available to them for many miles. He has bolts of lightening hit the ship, making it catch fire. Only bad thing for The Oni is that Pyro is fighting for his body back. The Oni tries to fight him back, but in the end, Pyro wins. "Damn you Majin…" are The Oni's final words before Pyro reclaims his body and mind for himself once more.

He was reaped of his seemingly boundless energy when The Oni was in control of him, so he has a hard time staying afloat in the air. He spots his wife a few feet away but ends up falling into the water, for almost all of his energy is gone. With The Oni out of his body and mind, the storms disperse around him, revealing a dark blanket of bright stars in the sky, kept in place by a silvery moon.

The sky and the burning ship are the only things keeping this part of the ocean lit. Pyro swims over to his Fox and grasps her hand, which seemed so cold to him. He pulls her into a tight embrace, trying to give her some of his body heat. She looks up to Pyro, her eyes blurred, barely recognizing him.

"What a…great Valentine's…day, huh?" she barely makes out, her teeth chattering from the cold water.

He kisses her and looks into her eyes "Happy Valentines Day, love…" he whispers before blacking out and falling face forward into the water.