Author's Note: Thanks sooooooooooo much for all the lovely lovely review! I must apologise for taking slightly longer for this update – have been so busy that I was nearly off my head. Took a bit of pains with this chapter in order to make up for the wait … … :)
andy-chan: Ah a new reader !! Welcome!! Thanks for your kind comments and I hope the rest of the story will meet with your expectations :)
cm: Wow – you made my day again! I can imagine how busy you must be! Although I love to read your reviews I totally understand how it can get! Having you read my story is already an honour – a review a bonus! Pls feel free to be as critical as you like – would love to learn from you. :) Hopefully this chapter explains why Rui appeared to be so angsty in Japan, at least partially ;) Thanks so much for even looking at my story !!!
kensingtonkid: Thanks so much for your kind comments!!!! To what extent is Shizuka playing with Rui? Well, I hope this chapter explains a bit more of the mystery. Or does it create even more unsolved mysteries? ;)
orenjipanda: Hi !!! Thank you thank you thank you for your generous comments and your support!!!! Definitely, I doubt I will be sticking to the story fully – I may not follow the last quarter of the story. However, thank goodness I have more time to straighten my thoughts ;) Definitely will think through your suggestions :)
Nana-chan: Thanks so much for reading!! Talk about perceptions about people's moods – you should read curdled milk's stories. They are soooooooooooooooooooooooo in depth !!! I hope this new chapter is as interesting as you expected :)
angel310: I'm sooooo glad that you liked the twists in the story – I spent some time thinking of them ;) Is she really in love in Rui? Shall we wait and see ;)? Will Rui join her? Hmmm … … again let's wait and see ok? Ain't I terrible! Actually it's because I haven't really finalised my thoughts as much as wanting the plot to remain unknown to make it seem more interesting! Take care and I hope this chapter answers certain questions :)
piglet : Hey there !!! Actually I must confess that I haven't watched MG2 so I'm not too sure of the storyline there. Is it similar to the manga or the cartoon? Is this why Rui is broken hearted? Read on to solve this mystery in this chapter! Does Shizuka regret what she has done? I must confess I never even thought about that! But that IS an interesting idea about this new agency being the one that left J a broken Rui as a "present"! Very innovative and creative – let me think more about it!
Drina: Ominous it sounds – ominous it is? ;) Thanks soooooooooo much about your suggestion about inserting borders !! I've implemented your idea in this draft – hopefully it turns out well when I place it on the net!!! And I hope it'll be more clear now :)
ToinKs: Sorry sorry, I think this chapter took a little while more to generate – but I think it's a bit longer? (hoping to compensate for the wait) Thanks so much for your encouraging comments !!! Let' see what trouble Shizuka gets into with Rui this time round ;)
Blackcat: Love reading your reviews !!!!! I'm sooooooooo cruel to poor Rui ain't I? He gets a little bit of happiness only for it to turn completely sour and worse! I'm delighted that you feel so strongly about the characters – shows that I've achieved the effect that I was hoping for ;).
Sheen: *contritely* I'm sooooooooo sorry Rui!
Rui: *sarcastically* I bet you are … …
Sheen : I didn't mean to be sooooooo cruel to you.
Rui: Would you have written my fate different if you were given a second chance?
Sheen: Er … Urm … well … it's just a story see … …
Rui : Enough of your hypocrisy you sadist! *storms off*
Lina: Wow … … Thanks so much for your kind comments !!! Let's continue to strive harder together and to write shall we ;) ? Ganbette !!
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Chapter 21 - Betrayal
For a moment I stopped breathing, the earth ceased spinning and everything stilled. Slowly and soundlessly, I closed the door and backed away until my back hit the wall. My shaky legs gave way and I slid down onto the floor, my brain still unable and unwilling to process what I had heard. I told myself numbly, first comes shock and denial, than anger, than pain and grief. That was how one naturally reacts to … … Betrayal. No! This had to be a mistake … … there was no way … … I had misunderstood, yes definitely misunderstood. There had to be another explanation. There was no way that Shizuka could be … … Stage one, the voice in my mind interrupted dryly, breaking my train of thoughts.
When the truth finally kicked in, it felt like a hard punch in my gut. Shizuka had betrayed our organization, betrayed our country and … … betrayed me. They knew about my abilities to the extent that they had even wanted me to cross over with her … … Hence, the uncharacteristic insistence with which Shizuka had "manipulated" me into coming to France with her. She had indeed been playing me for a fool … … A sudden rage washed over me and I balled my hands into fists as all the pieces of the puzzle neatly fell in place. No wonder she had been acting so strangely since she arrived back in Japan. Little wonder why she had targeted only me and treated me differently from Tsukasa, Soujirou and Akira. Her apparent partiality towards me, her slow seduction of me, her feelings for me … … Lies, all lies … …
You thought she cared deeply for you, you fool, the devil jeered at me. Did you think she would fall for the likes of you? She had never loved me no matter what I did … … No matter how I tried … … And I had so desperately wanted, no needed someone to love me … … Raw agony consumed me. I had never experienced this terrible pain, the feeling that someone had reached into my chest and ripped out my heart. I warned you to be careful, the dry voice in my head reminded me. There was a burning sensation behind my eyes as I clutched my head with my hands, trying to ignore those voices that jeered and laughed at me. Stop it, stop it, stop it! I screamed silently again and again in my head. What had I done to deserve this? My vision blurred and I felt the scalding wetness of hot tears on my cheeks. I buried my head in my knees as I rocked silently, letting grief take over. Although it was just a minute or so before the silent tears stopped, it seemed like eternity to me. I was grateful for the slight relief that they brought and finally succeeded in pushing aside my emotions for a while to allow my brain to start functioning.
I had to leave Shizuka's apartment, quite obviously. I suddenly felt an intense longing to go home. However, I knew I had responsibilities here that I had to fulfill. How was I going to keep up appearances in front of Shizuka and what excuse would I have for leaving? I slammed a door shut on the pain that I felt whenever I thought of her – I had to keep calm. First things first, I needed some time away from her otherwise I might just lose control and blow my cover. I recalled that my music professor was holding a concert in Venice in three days' time. Excellent, I would simply leave her a note telling her that he needed my help. I looked at my watch and realized that almost half an hour had passed. Shizuka and the guy would have left. I stepped out cautiously and ascertained that the rooftop was empty (much to my relief), before taking the elevator down to Shizuka's apartment.
I was walking to my room to collect some belongings when I heard a thump from Shizuka's room and paused. Then, there was a sound like someone moaning in pain. Adrenaline pumped in my veins as a thought struck me – could the guy have been threatening Shizuka? Perhaps they had been torturing her and forcing her to betray us? The sound was repeated. I hesitated no longer but burst into her room. The scene that met my eyes will forever be seared in my brain. Shizuka's head was thrown back and she emitted low throaty moans as her lithe body undulated sinuously, her long hair swaying with the same rhythm. Long, tanned fingers were clutching her hips tightly, digging into the soft white flesh as they guided and reinforced her movements as she continued to ride the unseen stranger hard. The sound of her moans, his deep groans and flesh slapping against flesh filled the room. Bile rose in my throat and my vision blurred as pain erupted through my entire being. As I staggered back under the weight of this new crushing blow, my violin case hit the doorframe with a loud crash. At that sound, Shizuka looked over her shoulder, her body stiffened and her eyes widened with shock as they met mine.
"Rui … …" she gasped. I turned and fled.
I heard my heartbeat throbbing loudly in my head as my feet carried me away from the apartment as fast as they could. My mind was still in shock and only registered different colours and shapes moving around me. Or perhaps I was the one moving? Everything seemed to be moving along exceptionally slowly. I dimly heard the noise of the traffic and the bustle around me. My limbs felt extremely heavy, as if I was moving underwater. I finally stopped running when the ache in my chest overwhelmed my desire to get away. Sinking onto the ground panting, I sucked in great mouthfuls of oxygen into my burning lungs, shaking uncontrollably like a leaf in the wind.
"Are you all right, sir?" I lifted my head and found a nurse looking at me in concern. I looked past her and realized that I had unconsciously made my way to the "Hospital of Mercy".
"I'm fine," my voice was hoarse as if I had laryngitis.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" I struggled to my feet and made my way to the toilet to get her off my back. I splashed water onto my face with one hand as I gripped the ceramic sink tightly with the other for support. When I finally lifted my head, I saw dull eyes with dark circles in a deathly white face gazing expressionlessly back at me. I looked like a drug addict craving for a hit, I thought numbly. No wonder the nurse thought I was ill. I tried to tidy my windblown hair a little before drearily making my way to the lab.
"Stein, what happened to you?" Professeur actually rose to his feet when he saw me, alarm evident on his face.
"I want to return to Japan."
"Something cropped up at home?"
"You could say that," I said evasively. "I'll try to rush out my part of the document for you," I quickly continued when I saw that he was about to protest. He looked at me penetratingly for a moment longer before deciding to let the matter go. He could evidently tell from the stubborn set of my jaw that it would be useless trying to get anymore out of me.
I worked like a lunatic for the next couple of days, stopping only for short naps to recharge my batteries when I could no longer think clearly. My main aim was to finish the project as soon as possible and it was an added bonus that the work prevented me from thinking about Shizuka at all – anything not to think about her … …
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*Four days later*
"Thanks for your help." I winced as Professeur shook my hand with a bit too much enthusiasm. "We'll meet the deadline – I didn't expect you to finish for at least two weeks."
"No problems, it was my responsibility anyway."
"Are you sure you can make your way back on your own?" He peered at me rather anxiously as I swayed a little and quickly reached out to steady myself against the wall.
"I'm just tired. I will be as good as new after some rest."
"Stein, if there's anything … …"
"I'll be fine," I cut in rather rudely but firmly. He gave up and returned to his work as I made my way out a trifle shakily. I looked at my watch. Good, Shizuka should still be in University. I could simply pack my bags, drop her a note and leave.
When I arrived at the apartment, I listened quietly for a long while, making sure that there was no sound in the apartment. I did not want to risk running into her. Finally gathering my courage, I slid my key into the keyhole and opened the door quietly. One quick glance showed me that the apartment was empty. I walked quietly but briskly into my room and quickly started throwing my scant belongings into my bag. Thank goodness I travelled light. When I was done, the moment I dreaded came. I tore off a sheet of paper from my notebook, grabbed a pen, and my mind went automatically blank when I sat down at the writing table. What on earth could I say? Just then, I saw a folded piece of paper with my name on it under the marble paperweight. The paper was almost perfectly camouflaged, being the same shade of beige as the tabletop. For a moment, I wondered if that had been Shizuka's intention – that I would hopefully fail to see her note? I cursed myself for my weakness when my hands shook as I unfolded the paper.
"Rui,
I'm can't say how sorry I am for hurting you. Forgive me … … But things are not always what they seem. Let me explain, please, I'm begging you … … I waited for you here for the past three days, but you never came back. I don't know when you'll be back, if ever. And, I can't just stay here hoping that you'll return, I have an exam today and my absence has been noticed… … Please don't leave, at least not without letting me explain and not without saying goodbye … … If you ever cared for me, please give me this one chance … …
I love you.
Shizuka"
It was dated today and her signature had been blotched – by tears? "I love you." The three words jumped out at me starkly. What would I have given to hear them previously! The barrier that I had built collapsed and a wave of pain swept through me as I buried my head in my shaking hands. What was true? What was false? Should I at least give her a chance to explain and risk being made a fool of for second or was it third time? I tried to control the maelstrom of emotions that were threatening to break through. Calm, I needed to be calm. Taking in a couple of deep breaths, I hung onto a thin veneer of control as I re-read the letter adopting the worst case scenario – that it was made up of lies.
The devil on my left shoulder egged me on, adding cynical comments along the way. Sorry? Yeah she's real sorry for hurtin' ya, man. Should have thought of that before she started humping the other guy. Things are not what they seem – say, she's truthful for once. Speaking about herself is she? Geez, boy is she desperate to get you back in her clutches. Wonder what they promised her if she managed to keep you here. Her explanation? Well, you'd better believe that her lies will be wonderful – she's got four days to spin them. If you care for her, eh? What about vice versa? And this sudden confession of love – it's a bit too contrived. Did her actions ever indicate this inclination towards you? Well if she loved you and had to find someone else to satisfy her – not man enough for her are you … … Enough! I shook my head violently, not wanting to torment myself further by listening to the acid barbs of the devil.
Rui, my boy, that may be extreme but it's not totally impossible. Did the dry voice sound a bit regretful? Ignore your emotions for the moment, step back and consider the bigger picture – what implications are there for your country?
"Enough. I know what I must do." I said aloud as I crumbled the note and threw it into the bin and reached for my own sheet of paper. A few minutes later, I left the keys and the folded note addressed to Shizuka on the kitchen table and walked out of the apartment without looking back … …
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She kicked off her stilettos as she walked into the empty apartment, letting out a small cry when she spotted the keys and the folded piece of paper. Dropping her bag instantly, she pounced on the paper, unfolded it and scanned through it quickly. Then, she ran into his bedroom, opening all the cupboards and drawers, ascertaining that he had left nothing of himself behind. She walked slowly back into the kitchen and leant against the counter. One hand tightened over the paper as her eyes closed and an expression of pain passed fleetingly over her face. A small sigh escaped from her lips, sounding strangely like a certain name. The moment passed. She took in a deep breath and relaxed her tight grasp as she exchanged the note for the keys. Stooping down, she collected her handbag from the floor where it had fallen and headed for her bedroom. As the door closed behind her with an air of finality, the small draft caused by her movement blew the crumpled note off the counter and it drifted unnoticed to the floor … …
"Shizuka,Thanks for your hospitality over the past few months. Although there were times when we argued, the happy moments more than made up for them … … It takes two hands to clap – I'm sure I'm not entirely guiltless for what trespassed at the last unexpected meeting. However, I can't stay … … Especially because of my feelings for you. It is beyond my ability at the moment to sit down with you and rationally apportion the blame. I need time to put the last painful episode out of my head … …
Thanks for the wonderful memories. I hope that we'll be able to be good friends again when we next meet … …
I wish you all the best. Take care.
Rui"
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P.S. I am definitely not stopping here, but just a thought – this would have been quite a good ending wouldn't it? :)