Author's Note : Sorry, this is a little late. Had quite a few deadlines this week and just wrote this a few hours ago – will read it again quickly to make sure that I haven't made too many mistakes. Thanks again for all your lovely comments! Keeps me motivated to write more and more and more :) P.S. this chapter contains many flashbacks so I haven't separated them. Please keep this in mind when reading it!
Ravenfire623 : Hi hi ! Thanks so much for your kind comments !!! I guess at the moment I am still following the storyline. I guess I was thinking that (in the context of my story) Rui has too many burdens emotional and otherwise. He cares for Tsukushi and he can see that he isn't exactly what would be best for Tsukushi at the moment :)
Dark Phoenix : A new reader! Yay !! Thanks so much for leaving your comments and I have to admit that you have voiced one of my fears – the fact that I am repeating a lot of what happened already and it does get boring. I am trying my best to incorporate something new be it the characters' insight or some behind the scenes event going on. Hopefully it will alleviate the boredom? Do let me know !!
angel310: Hi Angel! I'm glad that the last chapter made up for the previous one;) !!! This chapter is also pretty self-analytical and reflects Rui in one of his rather cynical moods – I think you can tell from the style that it is has been written in. Loved reading your insight as per normal !!! You have caught on exactly to what I wanted to convey *dances around in joy*. And thanks so much for your encouragement – it makes me want to continue writing even when I know how crappy my writing is :).
Kaio: Sorry for the delay in the update!!! I tried to write as soon as I was able but I had two deadlines to meet! And thanks so much for your comments. I hope Rui is just as sexy in this chapter ;)
kensingtonkid: hi hi hi! Thanks so much for your kind comments as always!!! Yes, evil Sheen killed off Shadow! I was thinking that could be one of the reasons that make Rui decide to give Tsukushi up to Tsukasa. He had to have a good reason, and what better than the fact that he could be endangering his friends? ;) I hope it was convincing enough … …
As for R&T … … can I give you the answer by and by ;)?
vic~vic~vic : Hey thanks so much for dropping by and thanks for your lovely comments! Feel free to drop a comment whenever !!! I always love reading the comments of my readers because it's really interesting to get an insight with regards to how they feel :)
just a teen: Hi hi! Sorry this update is a bit late this week – I barely made the weekly update deadline ;) I hope you didn't have to wait too long for it! Thanks so much for reading:)
Nana-chan: Thanks for your lovely comments as always – they're always so insightful and extremely interesting!!! I hope you like this chapter as well. It's in a slightly different style from the rest of the chapters, more of Rui carrying on a monologue and the interpretation of events from his standpoint. And sorry the weblinks did not come up in my last answer to your previous comments – I have reposted the weblinks in the last chapter and they have finally appeared! In case you didn't see them last time :
www . winglin . net / fanfic / SheenI / (note there should be no spaces between the dots and slashes but I couldn't get it to be uploaded otherwise)
www . winglin . net / fanfic / SheenA /
www . winglin . net / fanfic / SheenT /
ToinKs: Hi there! Urm actually sorry for being confusing, but Shadow isn't Shizuka. Shizuka is Cleo. Shadow is the girl/woman who helped Rui out with his traumatic experience. She was from another organization and they met whilst working on a joint project ;) I totally agree with you with regards to manipulation, power and domination! That was deep !!!
Lindkher: Thanks so much for your lovely comments – I must say I really enjoyed reading your insight about Rui, Tsukushi and Shizuka !!! Yes, I have to admit that I haven't committed myself to any particular pairings at the moment – it was really an acute observation. I have a few ideas but am not very sure which is my favourite so I'll just let the story flow whilst I eliminate them one by one! I think it's really interesting that you don't like Rui with either Tsukushi or Shizuka. I was wondering if you had any one in particular whom you would pair with Rui? Either from HYD or other mangas. I'm just curious :)
windsoffortune: Hi hi! I'm glad that you found chapter 11 disturbing. My aim was to emphasize how the traumatic the experience must have been from Rui. Thanks so much for reading! I must admit I really enjoyed reading "In the Mind of a Playboy"!
Chapter 27 – Behind the Scenes
I have to admit that Tsukasa's and Tsukushi's relationship defied anything synonymous with smooth. They never did realize they had a "guardian angel" hovering around, doing his best to help them out along their rocky path. However, everything comes with a price. I unwittingly paid mine and did not realise until it was too late that the price was not something that I could afford … …
I found myself becoming a confidant of Tsukushi's, helping her out in her difficult times - usually Tsukasa related. I swear that friend of mine causes enough trouble by being his immature, hot-tempered, reckless etc (do I need to elabourate any further?) self, not to say of the additional problems caused by his affluent family. In the beginning, my only task was to scare off other admirers of Tsukushi's. Fortunately, not everyone was as discerning as yours truly and (much as I hate to admit) my best friend, and thank goodness Tsukushi was focusing too much on trying to make ends meet to have time for the few other men who tried to gain her attention/affections. Of course our little talk helped too. She just had a huge row with Tsukasa (which was nothing new) and it was just after the little episode with Kin - a politican's son (this was unexpected as my impression of him was a rich namby-pamby, and I had not realize that he had the ability to see through Tsukushi's prickly exterior).
*flashback*
"Sometimes I just get so tired, Rui." I kept quiet as we both sat on the stairwell, staring at the rose gardens below.
"Why is he always so unreasonable, so prickly so … so … urgh … … so Tsukasa?"
"I mean look at Kin-san for instance." I blinked in surprise.
"He isn't violent. Although his parents are politicians, he doesn't want power or money. He was working with me in a fast food center. A fast food center, Rui."
"He lied to you too," I reminded her.
"He kept his identity from me so that I wouldn't treat him any differently. He was nice to me." A strange feeling that I could not quite identify arose in my gut. This had gone far enough.
"Look at me." She turned to face me obediently, a little taken aback by the serious stance that I was adopting.
"How do you feel about Tsukasa?"
"I … I …" she blushed a little. "I don't really know. He's infuriating!"
"Do you remember what I said before?" She squirmed a little and tried to look away but I reached out and grasp her chin gently but firmly. She met my eyes rather reluctantly and nodded.
"Good. Just remember that I gave you up for Tsukasa and for Tsukasa only. Besides, he loves you … … And you are both really compatible, you're so alike." I deliberately added the latter and waited for her to take the bait. It was really satisfying watching her jump up and down, waving her arms like windmills in frustration and denial. Extremely entertaining indeed. Who says that the job of a matchmaker does not have its moments? Besides, I had to do something to end that awkward moment between us … …
*end of flashback*
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I watched her slowly losing her heart to him after he rescued her in the snowdrift, and after he got beaten up by that asshole Junpei's gang in order to secure her release. That was when I started to have some doubts about myself. Would I have gone so far for a person I loved? Was I actually capable of loving someone to the extent that my best friend can? Was I emotionally crippled in a way? The dry voice in my head informed me that I could have achieved what my best friend did in both circumstances with far less danger to our lives.
In a way that was true. Instead of dashing recklessly out into the snowstorm to look for Tsukushi as what Tsukasa did, I kept my head. Did you think I would cool my heels and sit snugly in front of the fireplace in the huge house waiting for news of my friends and leaving their safety solely in the hands of chance and my best friend? I quickly called the local police and was informed that a search party would be organized in the morning because of the blizzard. They were sympathetic but totally useless. Cliché as it sounds, desperate circumstances call for desperate measures. I gritted my teeth and used the trump card that I had. I called J.
"J, I need a favour." I went straight to the point.
"Stein?" His voice was as alert at 11pm as it was during our meetings.
"I need a search party here as soon as possible, there are two people lost in the snowstorm and the local rescue party will only start searching in the morning."
"Stein, you are aware that: Firstly, it is 11pm; Secondly, I am miles away from your current location, and lastly but quite obviously, there is a blizzard? If the local police can't be of any assistance … …" His voice took on an infuriatingly, condescending calm tone.
"Isn't that what you are good at, J? Whipping up miracles?" I bit my tongue. This was not the time to make witty, sarcastic remarks, not when I needed his help so desperately. There was a short silence.
"You owe me then." The businesslike tone was back. I struggled with myself for a moment. I knew that this man could not be trusted and that I would regret it, but what other options did I have?
"Anything within reason. By that I mean I am willing to work my ass off and put my life on line for you, but only within reasonable legal and moral limits, and if by doing so I would not endanger the lives of my family, friends and the like."
"Deal." I groaned silently at the speed with which he agreed to my conditions. Darn, I should have struck a harder bargain. "My contacts will be in touch with you shortly with news of your friends." I sat by the phone waiting. The helplessness gnawed at my insides. I could have done something more constructive like beating the shit out of those vain, lying snobs who had put the lives of two of my closest friends in danger. However, my strict upbringing precludes me from laying a hand on the weaker gender unless in self-defence. Finally, after what seemed to be forever (but was actually only two hours, forty-seven minutes and seventeen seconds – yes I kept track) the phone rang.
"Hello?" My heart was pounding.
"Stein?"
"Speaking."
"Your friends are safe. They were found in a very deep sleep in a cabin near your current location." I finally managed to breath normally. "We placed a heater in the cabin to keep them warm – they should be able to make their way back in the morning."
"Thank you … …" I paused as I waited for a name to be given. Instead, with a "just doing my duty" he hung up and I was left listening to the dialling tone. Apparently, I had just met a rare person who was just as uncommunicative as myself – probably another agent of J's. I think it is a reflection on him that all those under him are so taciturn, but I digress. Unfortunately, there was no way I could tell Soujirou and Akira the good news. I could only try to calm their fears by lying to them that Tsukasa had informed me there was a cabin nearby which he was intending to head for after finding Tsukushi. It was a long, sleepless night … …
In Junpei's case, it would not have been too difficult to come up with a plan to allow both Tsukushi and myself to escape unhurt. Seriously, with Tsukasa's reputation and the lack of request for ransom (which I thought was a large flaw in Junpei's plans), the only motive was obviously revenge and Tsukasa should have kept that in mind. It was almost ridiculous the way he walked straight into the trap. It would have been quite easy to sneak around, find another entrance and catch them by surprise, or create a distraction and sneak in. Once Tsukushi's safety has been secured, the fellows would be no match for Tsukasa or myself. From past experience, I can safely say that Soujirou, Akira and I could have each taken on the entire crowd with only one hand. Their skills were really pathetic. However, is my ability to think logically under such conditions a strength or a reflection of my being less of a human being and more of an emotionless machine?
I did not have much time for further self-examination thanks to Mrs Doumyouji. Even I have to admit that lady is force to be reckoned with. After watching Tsukushi slowly but surely falling for my best friend, I had to watch her suffering silently but stoically as she slowly but surely got her heart broken time and again. I managed to refrain from killing my best friend because I knew that his heart was probably also breaking at the same time. However, he was much tougher than Tsukushi, and his stupidity and insensitive behaviour were inexcusable. So I stood by her silently as she had stood by me during my time of need, lending her my shoulder and my strength as she had offered me comfort. Unfortunately for me, in the process of repaying my debt to Tsukushi I was given further insight to her kind and caring nature, and she unwittingly revealed to me the vulnerability and sadness concealed behind her cheery and tough façade … …
I still remember clearly how her face paled, her sharp intake of breath and the way her trembling fingers clutched the railing as if it was a lifeline when Tsukasa kissed Shigeru, unaware that I was watching her reaction instead of the "couple" and that her reactions had totally given her away. However, it was strangely her vehement denial of her own feelings and her obviously forced cheerful insistence of how happy she was for them that brought out my protective instincts in full force. Somehow after that, they never subsided … …
Another thing, I admit that I do love hot springs. Yes, I would even agree that I may be mildly obsessed with them. However, hardly anything beats the wonderful sensation of relaxing in a hot spring, letting the hot water soak away all your troubles and cleanse your tainted soul; the steam acting as a shield between yourself and the rest of the world to allow a moment where you can drop your guard, and at the same time creating a kinder, almost dreamlike reality … … So how could I have resisted Shigeru's proposal to visit her summerhouse? Anyway, I thought it would allow Tsukasa to have an opportunity to compare both girls at close quarters and realise who he obviously was more in love with. I had not counted on his jealously and his insecurities because I had expected him to have more faith in his best friend. Sometimes I overestimate myself … …
It still makes me shiver when I relive the moment when I rushed to the hot spring only to see Tsukushi's lifeless body bobbing face down on the water. A cold, paralyzing fear gripped my entire body for a moment. Then, I jumped fully dressed into the spring and grabbed hold of her limp body, turning it over in my arms. I was already applying mouth-to-mouth resuscitation before I carried her out of the spring. She was breathing on her own by the time I had found a towel to wrap her in. Yes, I saw her naked. So shoot me. I mean I had more important things on my mind like making sure her heart was beating, her lungs were functioning properly and that she was not in shock, then observing proprieties by keeping my eyes carefully averted. Seriously, if I had been trying my best to behave like a gentleman, it would have paradoxically only proven how perverted I was to be thinking such thoughts in a life and death situation. Yes, I noticed that she was not very well-endowed and had a small, thin frame. Hey, but I had to wrap her up and like any of my normal fellow human beings, I happen to have a certain component of the human anatomy that transmits signals via the optic nerve to my brain which are subsequently translated into visual images.
I was glad that Tsukasa did not attempt to remove her from my arms when he saw us together. In spite of the pain reflected in his eyes and that I knew he had to be feeling, he would have had to kill me before I was ready to let go of her. I had just saved her life for goodness sake! There was no way I would be able to leave her until she woke up and demonstrated to my satisfaction that she was fully functional. I learnt that a bond forms between two people when one of them saves the life of another. To put it simply, from that moment onwards, I felt that her well-being was somehow more of my business than before. I blame it on my practically non-existent possessive nature. We both got rather emotion over the incident (although I doubt that I showed it) and when she refused to let me beat up Tsukasa or interrupt Shigeru's attempt to deflower him (Shigeru was never subtle), I ended up holding her hand the entire night. I never knew that hands could communicate so eloquently before. Her small and cold hand was enveloped in mine, her pain and despair evident in the way she clung onto my hand tightly and somewhat helplessly. I could only comfort her by twining her fingers with mine, occasionally stroking the back of her hand soothingly with my thumb, maintaining a constant and steady grip throughout that long sleepless night … …