Part one
Disclaimer: don't own anything. Mr. Vasquez owns all.
AN:This chapter is the first half of two halves, understand? Good. Here's where we actually find out what Dee wants, the situation with Gaz and Dib and we see what Dib thinks of Zim, and what Zim thinks of Dib.
En-fuckin-joy.
-
Ten past twelve AM.
go to bed.
I'm so tired at the moment. I'm sitting in front of my destroyed communication computer screen, and even though I'm stupidly tired, I'm not falling asleep.
My eyes hurt. I've rubbed them so many times it just sore now.
I rub them again.
Ow.
......
Ever since I got that message from Her, all I've been doing is screaming, my throat hurts,
hitting the broken metal debris, my fists are still bleeding,
and trying to think of a way to get myself out of here, I have a headache.
...........Sure, there's always....
.....
No.
Shit, my Irken blood won't let me even say it.
Su........ eee.......side.
Hah, I can say it like that, bitch!
But still, I don't want to. I know I may have only a speck of use within me to carry on living, but it's my life and I have yet to actually do something to impress anyone other than my old inflated ego.
.......
And Dib.
.........
.......
......
....
Fuck.
Oh, and my Pak won't let me.
............
So.....
What do I do?
Ah, fuck.
I don't know. I'm going out.
-
Two twenty seven AM.
Early morning snack.
God damn I'm hungry.
Shit, I had juice for dinner. And not a lot of juice either. After spilling it and taking the letter from her, I ran up to my room with the drink, spilling more of it on the way up on the stairs.
What the fuck is her problem? Why does she see her own brother as a obstacle. And Gaz doesn't like obstacle courses, she just uses a sledge hammer to get them out of her way. And I'm in front of her, and all she ever does is swing. And takes out her fury onto me, usually aiming and hitting my head. Once she cut off my scarily scythe like hair......
I fucking don't want this anymore. Something must be done............
..............Er... Get some food.
....Yeah, sounds good.
I'm in the kitchen and being as quiet as is possible for me, and due to my weight and concentration, that's pretty quiet. I turn on the light.
....
Why....? What.... is this?
...
She's asleep.
In.... the..... F u c k i n g............. Kitchen!
Is she trying to make me die?
My eyes fall onto the kitchen knives in the corner.
......
No.
I couldn't murder anyone. And even if she doesn't realise it, she's my sister.
...
Maybe if I'm quiet.....
I tiptoe over to one of the cupboards and I pray it doesn't creak like I'm in some old B-movie. It doesn't.
Thank God for that....... There's nothing in the cupboard. Fuck you God.
Fuck this, there's gotta be a store open or something.
I silently retreat to my room, and get dressed fully, grab my trench coat and exit, making sure to close the door without creating a noise.
I need something to eat.
And no-one's getting in my way.
-
Two fifty three AM.
Stars are pretty only when you havn't been there.
At this time of the planetary orbit, I don't even need to wear my disguise. I can leave my 'house' and if anyone sees me..... whoever they may be, they assume it's fancy dress. A human thing. I don't care for it, but it helps me.
I need something to digest.
.....
As I walk, I look up at the stars, and think about what Dee meant, what she's gonna do.
Is she going to assassinate me?
Or is she going to recreate Tak, but instead, succeed?
No, she's not that vain.
She lives to serve the Tallest, so it would either be their plan, or they tortured a Vortian into creating a plan for them.
Hm, doesn't matter, it'll turn out bad for me in any scenario.
....
... They said they didn't care anymore.
Then....... What are they planning now? It must be Dee. She wants my existence erased, and she's manipulating the Tallest for her own endeavours.
The thing is, why now? She's had more than copious amounts of time to exact revenge for what I did to her, and after the years of my absence, she decides now is the time? What is so special about now?
Riddle after question after query.
I can only assume that I will find out what I think when she arrives.
...
I turn round a street corner and head for a convenience store, which aren't really that convenient at all. Humans just like to make things sound better. They like to shortcut. If it seems easier, then it's the choice they take. They don't like to think, just let someone else decide what is right and what is wrong. If it's easier, then they'll take the choice.
It's really a matter of sloth. Which I believe is a sin.....
.....Fuck, I got all preachy.....
Punch yourself....
Agh...
Stop being human!
..
..
Ah, food.
At least, human food. It's a fuckin' good thing I can adapt over the years, or I would have died by starvation...... .....Shitty Irken superiority....
Snacks!
-
Two fifty five AM.
I take it then that you don't like me?
Shit, I barely made it to the store. I had eaten nothing yesterday, I wasn't hungry then. I should have force fed myself.
The convenience store's doors are cold. I should have worn gloves maybe? Nah, fuckit.
I need a microwave burrito or something.
I walk past the cashier and head for the microwave food section. I reach out for Mexican foody stuff and pick it up.
Damn, I must be running on reserved energy or something, 'cause this unhelathy snack feels fucking heavy. I pay for it.
I walk over to the microwave and put it in, set the time and press 'start'.
And wait.
.....
..
The humming of the machine is somewhat annoying and, for the sake of the demons of hunger screaming at me, also taunting.
Hurry up....
....now....
3:31.....
Damn. This is stupid.
So, I'll be the cat, and let's see if curiosity kills me.
I look around the store. It's quite uninteresting.
Magazines. chips. drinks. beer. smokes. cashier. microwave. food. porno on the top shelf. zim. candy. gum.... ...Zim?
I blearily look again and my eyes were not fooling me. Zim is here.
Bastard. Is he following me again? Last time I caught him and broke his leg for it. He said he wouldn't give up his priorities. For some reason, this meant following me and making notes and seeing my reaction to being hit with rocks....... That was a while ago though.
Whoa, shit, he looks really beat up.... Fuck, he ain't wearing his shitty disguise!
I walk up to him at the opposite side of the store, he hasn't seen me yet.
He does when I get about a foot from him and I notice, he wasn't just looking at food, but trying to ignore me. He turned from me when got closer, and tried to move away from me, so I pull on his shoulder and punch him in the face. He falls flat on back, his fucking green bald head cracking onto the floor, making his frail, and come to think of it, easy to brake antennae flail about and then go rigid.
I kick him in the ribs. Or whatever his ugly language calls them. By now the old cashier man is trying to tug me away to help the freak but he's old, so I push him down on the tiles, and his hip brakes.
What the fuck is he doing with a job!?
Whatever.
Zim coughs up blood, while holding his arms around himself, vain little fuckup. His sore red eyes are hidden by his green eyelids, and now I think about it, it looks odd, like it's the first time I've ever seen his eyes closed.
I kick him again and again and again and again, knowing full well what it's liked to be physically pained. And my steel tipped boots do more damage than normal.
I hate you Zim.
....
Bing!
Ah, my burrito!
I waltz on over to the heating device and an overwhelming sense of happiness clouds my senses. I can hear nothing but my heart beating.
I take the greasy food from the microwave and bite down upon it's hot content and burn my mouth, yet I don't care. I feel renewed from kicking the shit out of Zim. I feel kind of sorry about hurting some old guy who thought he was doing some kid a favour, but he can't do anything about it now.
I walk round the cashier desk, open the cash register and pay what I owe, then use the phone near me to ring for an ambulance. Not for Zim, oh no. The old man deserves to be helped, he isn't Irken. After all, I know how quickly that bastard reject heals. He'll probably have left by the time the medics arrive.
But it felt like such a high.
I was soaring.
As I gleefully exit the store, I look back and my hearing seems to have made a comeback.
Zim is mouthing something.
.....
I...... for..give....... you...... Dib.....
....
I stand perplexed.
Then I kick him as hard as my matchstick legs will allow, then walk away.
He stole my happiness.
Bastard.
Looks like the cat won this time.
-
Three 'O two.
A little green omen..
Gir walked on his little doggie limbs along rooftop to rooftop, jumping the gaps between the houses with ease. After a while he stopped on a rather crooked house. A green house.
The little quadruped judged the distance from roof to ground and half fell half leaping down to the grass. He peformed a little rolling tumbling when he hit the bottom and stopped while upside down, resting on his large head.
"meeeeow!" Gir smiled.
He rolled onto his legs and hands and skipped through the door, which always opened for him automatically.
The small, furry, emerald coloured dog walked into the kitchen.
With one of his paws, he opened the fridge, executed a jump, grabbed a can of dog food, landed and then closed the door.
If anyone other than his owner were to watch this, they would think:
"wow, what a clever doggie! yes you are! Yeeees you arrrrre! Yep yep, you is a smart widdle doggie woggie oobie doobie shloopy koopie dee dee dooooo!"
.......
Particularly if they were human.
Well, not everyone would think like this, but a lot of the idiots in this city would, because their IQ, if tested, would probably score just less than a cheese sandwich.
The canine opened a drawer and removed a can opener.
"ooooh, you is sooooo cuuuute!!"
The canine emptied the can's contents onto the floor.
"heeee heeee haa hee ahah heeee!!!!"
The canine ate the cylinder shaped 'food'.
"Gyaaaah ha ha ha heeeeeee hooo eeet izz sooooo cute! Looookit at iz widdle tail!!"
The canine belched noisily and lazily proceeded to walk over to a couch in the main room, climb onto it and promptly fall asleep.
By now a humans' levels of cuteness would have reached maximum capacity, and being unable to house the cuteness within themselves any longer, their heads would have exploded.
So, it's just as well that no human was watching Gir do all this, because no-one would want to clean it up in the morning, or ever.
-
Three nineteen.
What?
.... .. .. .. ....... . . .......
Mhhhhmmmm.........
.....d......dd....ib.......
......d....i....b......
...mhhhh.... s... orrry......
..........
...
.....Huh?....
I woke up. What time is it? Three.... nineteen...
I'm.... in the kit... kitchen....
uh..... Why's the light on..? I must have left it on.... somehow....
.... Christ... it's freezin'....
Bed.....
As I got up... I wondered why I decided it was better to go to sleep in the kitchen.....
I remember........ Level twelve mision nineteen..... it was a hard boss.....but I did it. Had to hit one tiny crystal on it's head and... you could only hit it when he smashed into the generator..... but you have to not get hit when he does it... or you lose almost half your health....
Then..... I.... saved it..... and I remember. I suddenly got very annoyed and smashed the console. Shit.
...
I walked groggily up the stairs and into my room. Sure enough, my latest and most expensive gaming machine was now in pieces.
Shit.
I was getting angry again. I tried to remember why I had thought it was a good idea to sleep in the kitchen. I left my room and slammed open Dib's door...
He wasn't there.......
Oh fuck...
This is me.... I did this.... He's left..... It was me that..... He's gone.... forever.... he hates me.... I hate me.... fuck fuck fuck fuckf cufkc fuckf fnfk....
I fell onto my knees and my head rested against the wall just outside Dib's room. I started sobbing....
Me.... I started to cry.... I knew this would happen....... Fuck emotions...... They do this to everyone.... you don't know what you've got until it's gone..... it's fucking true.......
You're gone...... forever.....
And then I remembered why I was in the kitchen....
The knives, I said aloud......
...
......
.......
"What about them?"
I looked up. Tears blurred my vision. I thought I saw someone with raven hair and big glasses.
Dib? I asked.
"Gaz, what's wrong?" he asks. If only I could tell him.
And then, something I didn't expect happened.
He knelt down and hugged me. He did it very reluctantly. I could tell he was extremely nervous about it, it felt like he had never given anyone a hug before, but then again, I had never received one, so it worked out about right
....
Emotions.
Everyone can try to suppress them.
Teenagers try it all the time, but it's impossible.
I forgot what it was like.
As we sit here, I know I fell asleep, because I saw my mother again.
This time, she had a gun.
This time, she was shooting an infant Dib.
Why am I having this dream?
It's got to be the emotions.
Yeah, emotions.
Find something or someone else to blame.
If you're me, then it's worked 'til now......
-
Three twenty five AM.
comprehension.
I staggered back to my home.....
Staggered? More like painfully crawled my way back to my house, where I could heal properly.
I may heal much faster than humans, but it still fucking hurts.
But, despite Dib's hatred which I have now confirmed, I still forgive him.
After all, who could want to be friends with a disgusting green alien...
...
I really hurts.
Dib's boots had metal on them. Makes a good weapon.
Shit. I'm bleeding again. I must have stretched the skin where it's trying to heal over. My house is round this street......
....ugh...
..ow...
There..... at the end.....
Eventually after much cursing, bleeding and using one hand and legs to crawl my way to the end of the street, I make it to my door, and wish for the umpteenth time since Dib's outburst of rage, that my pak's legs still worked.
The door swings open... And I crawl in and climb onto the sofa.
I fight the urge to turn on the TV, and see Gir lying on his back, with a grin on his face and drool slowly flowing from the sides of his mouth.
I close my eyes and think about anything. Anything to take my mind away from the pain, until it heals enough for me to move porperly and go find some painkillers. Irken ones.
My thoughts quite instantly think about Dib. I usually do that anyway, but these are about what happened earlier.
And I remembered the ambulance coming for tht old human Dib hurt. Ha, everyone who has ever wanted to help me end's up getting hurt. That old male is the second. At least with the senior, it was me that was made to be the one to get hurt. I remebered Dee.
She was beautiful, By Irken standards. She wanted to be known for her skills, not by her appearance. Shame, it led her to believe my false promises............
....Oh shit.
That's it.
That's it exactly. How I betrayed her like that, told the authorites about what she was doing, what I told her to do. And scarred her oh so beautiful face.
She really is going to kill me.
....
Ouch.
I look down and the bleeding has stopped but it still stings quite smartly.
I go back to reminiscing.
No, she'll want to humiliate me first, then kill me. And she'll want every single Irken to know that she was not to blame. She'll want to prove it was me.
...
I'm fucked.
Not good.
She'll want to show that I was the one, then she'll tell how easy it was to capture me and then, in front of the Tallest, she will blast my brain out of my skull, with a high powered cell rifle of some variety. Yes, I've figured it out.
That's what she wants.
......
I just hope she hurries it the fuck up.
I've got nothing left anymore. And if she does kill me in front of the Tallest, I'll hopefully be able to spit on them and shout my last few words I Am Zim! in front of them.
Heh.
That would be fun.
-
Whatever time Dee is using. AM maybe.
Subtitle missing.
Yes sirs, I am presently heading toward the docking bay and am proceeding to board my Voot Speeder.
I listen to their silly little efforts to thank me, and all I think in my mind is
'You stupid tall morons. You don't know how to run an empire, you're just taller than everybody else. This is a fucked up democracy. Things should work by actually achieving them. Like me.'
But I say, Thank you my Tallest, I won't let you down.
"we know you won't" one of them says. I don't care which one, they're both idiots.
I bid them good day on my communicater on my wrist and switch it off.
I get gasps and whispers that I am not meant to hear as I walk past sliding doors and into the docking bay. These inferior Irkens.
It would be different if Zim hadn't....
They would all think that I would still be beautiful. Irkens reproduce through technology, but our views on beauty are just like other species.
Fuck you Zim.
I will make you pay. The whispers never stop. The Tallest are the only ones who are kind, in the sense that they see how skilled I am, but they're the ones I had to use in my own way. Poor stupid bastards.
Shut up. My thoughts scream.
I scream at some technicians. They weren't even talking about me, but they were closest. Everyone is now quiet. Staring at me.
Get back to work or everyone one of you little puny cretins will be sent to Blorch! I scream at them, and since they know I have the power to fulfil my threat, they get back to work.
Seeing them scared is good for me.
Now to depart. I jump into my thin maroon coloured vessel. To use this Speeder, you have to lie down on your front and put your arms forward, onto the controls. It's very uncomfortable, but the time it takes to get from here to Zim and his ape inhabited 'Earth' would be about three months as the Voot Cruiser flies. I need to get there in a day.
And my Speeder can and will do that.
I push an array of buttons and twist a few dials to start and power up the Speeder, and adjust the settings to how I prefer them, and the Speeder lifts off the metallic ground by a metre and hovers for a few seconds.
This is where these lower life forms see how my genius come into play.
Normally a speeder would travel faster than a Cruiser, but would only be used as a hasty escape. They were manufactured for places like here, where about ten or so individuals might need to get out very quickly, whatever the setting. I.... changed mine.
I installed various features, one of them being Molecule splitting accelerator.
They all said it would rip me and the Speeder to shreds.
Fuck what they know. I'm smarter than all of them.
All I had to do was send all of the energy to the engines and reroute all of the extra power that would normally instantly make the ship implode, through two large exhaust pipes. These MSA engines were built for very large ships, perhaps as big as the Massive, but I created my own smaller version, using the same fuel.
Granted, if anyone is standing behind my Speeder when the Engines begin their routine, then they will be vaporised.
I look back.... I can't see a lot, due to the lack of space, but I can see that there is a group staring at my modified machine...... behind me.
I push a red button on the far left corner, and I can hear nothing but an almighty roar of the machine's added MSA engine, then a flash of light...
UGH!
....And then I am being hurtled through the opening of the dock and through space. Passing planets and stars and galaxies at a time....
Fuck I wish I had a religion!
I'm going so fast, I don't even laugh about killing those techs in the bay.
Shit.
I knew I needed to be fast to reach Earth in a day, possibly two, but this is too hard!
It feels like my brain is going to burst, my eyes are fighting to stay open and my teeth are clenched, grinding into each other, fuck, my legs are trying to bend but can't because of the lack of space.
...
Aaaaaagh!
Ghhhhhh!
I MUST endure!
I have to get my revenge!
I must kill zim!!
-
Four thirty six AM.
What's wrong?
That was a shock.
I came home after pummeling Zim, and found Gaz crying by my door. I've never seen her cry before. She looks.... different when she cries, vulnerable, like her invisible shield of hatred is gone.
I wasn't really sure of what to do, but found myself giving her a hug.
I've never given anyone a hug before, at least, anyone I can remember. Maybe my mother, but she left when I was about five. My mother looked a lot more like Gaz, whereas I look a lot like Dad.
It's odd, but I guess I can't remember enough about our mother, there aren't any pictures, for some reason.
Dad said he lost them.
.......
sigh.
And sigh again.
....
Gaz is asleep. After sitting on the landing by my door for about half an hour in silence, she fell asleep, so I put her into her bed.
It was odd.
Her newest computer console had been destroyed, but I don't think that's why she was so upset. Even she didn't love games enough to cry over a broken machine.
She's got plenty anyway.
.....
I'm on my bed now.
Staring up at the ceiling.
The squares of where posters used to haunt do actually create a nice effect. If I had a friend, I'd tell them I did it on purpose. But that is not the case.
......
Sleep sounds good
I turn to my side and reach for the lamp.
I switch it off, and the darkness feels soothing. Like being blind means you don't have to deal with it. You can't see the problem, then there is no problem.
Unfortunately, this is not the case either.
At least in sleep I can get some rest.
.....
....
...
..
.
Sleep ensues.
-
Six AM.
Early morning nightmare.
Where am I? The universal question everybody asks in those old films.
What's going on? Ditto.
I can see something up ahead.
All around me is just black. I walk on an invisible path until I reach a corridor. The hallway is wallpapered with blue skies and white fluffy clouds, and the floor is a carpeted. I walk into it and feel.... nice. I feel younger and full of energy.
I look down....
......?.....
I'm very young. Infant aged. Instantly the hallway looks huge, like it stretches away forever.... oh... it does....
I look behind me and the blackness from which I came is gone and now it's just a wall, wallpapered the same as the others. I walk forward and I can hear jack-in-the-box music playing, over and over.
My now little legs don't take me very far or fast, and I racing towards the end of this eerie place. I keep on tripping and stumbling and getting back up, and something about all of this seems wrong, different, out of place, call it what you want, but it isn't how it should be.
I trip again and my pudgy little hands push my violet hair out of my face.
I look up with little sorrowful eyes. I'm trying to find mother.
She'll make it better.
She'll hush the world to be quiet for me.
She'll make it right.
But she's nowhere. I can't find her. Where is she?
I try to speak but I can only talk in garbled words, and rivulets of salty water run down my chubby little cheeks.
"mrma!" I try to shout out, but I can't say it right. She must have disappeared because I can't shout for her to come to me. She must hate me.
I fall over again and I can't get back up.
I hear someone running past me. I look over my shoulder and a child Dib runs down the way I came. He must have not noticed me. Otherwise he would have picked me.
He vanishes into darkness down the corridor.
The blackness has come back.
I cry out for Dib to come back, get away from the dark, but I get nothing but the advancement of the offending shadows.
It keeps getting closer and I can't move at all. My energy is depleted and I just feel helpless.
"waaagh!" I scream. And scream again. And the nothingness keeps on coming closer.
Inch by inch, I can see nothing in it. It engulfs the corridor as it moves, first blackening it, then just making it disappear. I cry out again.
And again.... and again..
........and again.......
It's almost at my feet, and I clench up, rolling into a foetal position, my eyelids shut tight, and mouth closed, I have no teeth.
I feel like..........
...I'm being picked up..
I open my eyes and the darkness is retreating rapidly, back down the corridor. I feel happy again, and am comforted by someone, embraced in their arms.
But it isn't my mother.
It isn't Dib's mother.
It's our father.
He isn't wearing his lab coat, so I can see his face, and he isn't wearing his goggles, so I can see his eyes.
He should wear his lab coat less often...
Dib is standing next to him, the small Dib, tugging on his shirt.
Our father kneels down and Dib takes a look at me.
He smiles.
He says something, but I can't hear him.
I'm falling asleep....
....Everyhting is going dark, but this is a good dark. It's the darkness just before you fall asleep.
I feel good again.
I don't even care about mother now.
She can go to Hell.
I am content.
.....
I then wake up.
I drowsily look at myself, to make sure, and I'm back to normal.
I lean onto my side and look at the clock.
It's...
-
Chapter End
AN: Well, what do you think? Review and tell me. If you didn't like it, tell me why, if you liked it, tell me what part you liked. C'mon, click the fucking button.
Disclaimer: don't own anything. Mr. Vasquez owns all.
AN:This chapter is the first half of two halves, understand? Good. Here's where we actually find out what Dee wants, the situation with Gaz and Dib and we see what Dib thinks of Zim, and what Zim thinks of Dib.
En-fuckin-joy.
-
Ten past twelve AM.
go to bed.
I'm so tired at the moment. I'm sitting in front of my destroyed communication computer screen, and even though I'm stupidly tired, I'm not falling asleep.
My eyes hurt. I've rubbed them so many times it just sore now.
I rub them again.
Ow.
......
Ever since I got that message from Her, all I've been doing is screaming, my throat hurts,
hitting the broken metal debris, my fists are still bleeding,
and trying to think of a way to get myself out of here, I have a headache.
...........Sure, there's always....
.....
No.
Shit, my Irken blood won't let me even say it.
Su........ eee.......side.
Hah, I can say it like that, bitch!
But still, I don't want to. I know I may have only a speck of use within me to carry on living, but it's my life and I have yet to actually do something to impress anyone other than my old inflated ego.
.......
And Dib.
.........
.......
......
....
Fuck.
Oh, and my Pak won't let me.
............
So.....
What do I do?
Ah, fuck.
I don't know. I'm going out.
-
Two twenty seven AM.
Early morning snack.
God damn I'm hungry.
Shit, I had juice for dinner. And not a lot of juice either. After spilling it and taking the letter from her, I ran up to my room with the drink, spilling more of it on the way up on the stairs.
What the fuck is her problem? Why does she see her own brother as a obstacle. And Gaz doesn't like obstacle courses, she just uses a sledge hammer to get them out of her way. And I'm in front of her, and all she ever does is swing. And takes out her fury onto me, usually aiming and hitting my head. Once she cut off my scarily scythe like hair......
I fucking don't want this anymore. Something must be done............
..............Er... Get some food.
....Yeah, sounds good.
I'm in the kitchen and being as quiet as is possible for me, and due to my weight and concentration, that's pretty quiet. I turn on the light.
....
Why....? What.... is this?
...
She's asleep.
In.... the..... F u c k i n g............. Kitchen!
Is she trying to make me die?
My eyes fall onto the kitchen knives in the corner.
......
No.
I couldn't murder anyone. And even if she doesn't realise it, she's my sister.
...
Maybe if I'm quiet.....
I tiptoe over to one of the cupboards and I pray it doesn't creak like I'm in some old B-movie. It doesn't.
Thank God for that....... There's nothing in the cupboard. Fuck you God.
Fuck this, there's gotta be a store open or something.
I silently retreat to my room, and get dressed fully, grab my trench coat and exit, making sure to close the door without creating a noise.
I need something to eat.
And no-one's getting in my way.
-
Two fifty three AM.
Stars are pretty only when you havn't been there.
At this time of the planetary orbit, I don't even need to wear my disguise. I can leave my 'house' and if anyone sees me..... whoever they may be, they assume it's fancy dress. A human thing. I don't care for it, but it helps me.
I need something to digest.
.....
As I walk, I look up at the stars, and think about what Dee meant, what she's gonna do.
Is she going to assassinate me?
Or is she going to recreate Tak, but instead, succeed?
No, she's not that vain.
She lives to serve the Tallest, so it would either be their plan, or they tortured a Vortian into creating a plan for them.
Hm, doesn't matter, it'll turn out bad for me in any scenario.
....
... They said they didn't care anymore.
Then....... What are they planning now? It must be Dee. She wants my existence erased, and she's manipulating the Tallest for her own endeavours.
The thing is, why now? She's had more than copious amounts of time to exact revenge for what I did to her, and after the years of my absence, she decides now is the time? What is so special about now?
Riddle after question after query.
I can only assume that I will find out what I think when she arrives.
...
I turn round a street corner and head for a convenience store, which aren't really that convenient at all. Humans just like to make things sound better. They like to shortcut. If it seems easier, then it's the choice they take. They don't like to think, just let someone else decide what is right and what is wrong. If it's easier, then they'll take the choice.
It's really a matter of sloth. Which I believe is a sin.....
.....Fuck, I got all preachy.....
Punch yourself....
Agh...
Stop being human!
..
..
Ah, food.
At least, human food. It's a fuckin' good thing I can adapt over the years, or I would have died by starvation...... .....Shitty Irken superiority....
Snacks!
-
Two fifty five AM.
I take it then that you don't like me?
Shit, I barely made it to the store. I had eaten nothing yesterday, I wasn't hungry then. I should have force fed myself.
The convenience store's doors are cold. I should have worn gloves maybe? Nah, fuckit.
I need a microwave burrito or something.
I walk past the cashier and head for the microwave food section. I reach out for Mexican foody stuff and pick it up.
Damn, I must be running on reserved energy or something, 'cause this unhelathy snack feels fucking heavy. I pay for it.
I walk over to the microwave and put it in, set the time and press 'start'.
And wait.
.....
..
The humming of the machine is somewhat annoying and, for the sake of the demons of hunger screaming at me, also taunting.
Hurry up....
....now....
3:31.....
Damn. This is stupid.
So, I'll be the cat, and let's see if curiosity kills me.
I look around the store. It's quite uninteresting.
Magazines. chips. drinks. beer. smokes. cashier. microwave. food. porno on the top shelf. zim. candy. gum.... ...Zim?
I blearily look again and my eyes were not fooling me. Zim is here.
Bastard. Is he following me again? Last time I caught him and broke his leg for it. He said he wouldn't give up his priorities. For some reason, this meant following me and making notes and seeing my reaction to being hit with rocks....... That was a while ago though.
Whoa, shit, he looks really beat up.... Fuck, he ain't wearing his shitty disguise!
I walk up to him at the opposite side of the store, he hasn't seen me yet.
He does when I get about a foot from him and I notice, he wasn't just looking at food, but trying to ignore me. He turned from me when got closer, and tried to move away from me, so I pull on his shoulder and punch him in the face. He falls flat on back, his fucking green bald head cracking onto the floor, making his frail, and come to think of it, easy to brake antennae flail about and then go rigid.
I kick him in the ribs. Or whatever his ugly language calls them. By now the old cashier man is trying to tug me away to help the freak but he's old, so I push him down on the tiles, and his hip brakes.
What the fuck is he doing with a job!?
Whatever.
Zim coughs up blood, while holding his arms around himself, vain little fuckup. His sore red eyes are hidden by his green eyelids, and now I think about it, it looks odd, like it's the first time I've ever seen his eyes closed.
I kick him again and again and again and again, knowing full well what it's liked to be physically pained. And my steel tipped boots do more damage than normal.
I hate you Zim.
....
Bing!
Ah, my burrito!
I waltz on over to the heating device and an overwhelming sense of happiness clouds my senses. I can hear nothing but my heart beating.
I take the greasy food from the microwave and bite down upon it's hot content and burn my mouth, yet I don't care. I feel renewed from kicking the shit out of Zim. I feel kind of sorry about hurting some old guy who thought he was doing some kid a favour, but he can't do anything about it now.
I walk round the cashier desk, open the cash register and pay what I owe, then use the phone near me to ring for an ambulance. Not for Zim, oh no. The old man deserves to be helped, he isn't Irken. After all, I know how quickly that bastard reject heals. He'll probably have left by the time the medics arrive.
But it felt like such a high.
I was soaring.
As I gleefully exit the store, I look back and my hearing seems to have made a comeback.
Zim is mouthing something.
.....
I...... for..give....... you...... Dib.....
....
I stand perplexed.
Then I kick him as hard as my matchstick legs will allow, then walk away.
He stole my happiness.
Bastard.
Looks like the cat won this time.
-
Three 'O two.
A little green omen..
Gir walked on his little doggie limbs along rooftop to rooftop, jumping the gaps between the houses with ease. After a while he stopped on a rather crooked house. A green house.
The little quadruped judged the distance from roof to ground and half fell half leaping down to the grass. He peformed a little rolling tumbling when he hit the bottom and stopped while upside down, resting on his large head.
"meeeeow!" Gir smiled.
He rolled onto his legs and hands and skipped through the door, which always opened for him automatically.
The small, furry, emerald coloured dog walked into the kitchen.
With one of his paws, he opened the fridge, executed a jump, grabbed a can of dog food, landed and then closed the door.
If anyone other than his owner were to watch this, they would think:
"wow, what a clever doggie! yes you are! Yeeees you arrrrre! Yep yep, you is a smart widdle doggie woggie oobie doobie shloopy koopie dee dee dooooo!"
.......
Particularly if they were human.
Well, not everyone would think like this, but a lot of the idiots in this city would, because their IQ, if tested, would probably score just less than a cheese sandwich.
The canine opened a drawer and removed a can opener.
"ooooh, you is sooooo cuuuute!!"
The canine emptied the can's contents onto the floor.
"heeee heeee haa hee ahah heeee!!!!"
The canine ate the cylinder shaped 'food'.
"Gyaaaah ha ha ha heeeeeee hooo eeet izz sooooo cute! Looookit at iz widdle tail!!"
The canine belched noisily and lazily proceeded to walk over to a couch in the main room, climb onto it and promptly fall asleep.
By now a humans' levels of cuteness would have reached maximum capacity, and being unable to house the cuteness within themselves any longer, their heads would have exploded.
So, it's just as well that no human was watching Gir do all this, because no-one would want to clean it up in the morning, or ever.
-
Three nineteen.
What?
.... .. .. .. ....... . . .......
Mhhhhmmmm.........
.....d......dd....ib.......
......d....i....b......
...mhhhh.... s... orrry......
..........
...
.....Huh?....
I woke up. What time is it? Three.... nineteen...
I'm.... in the kit... kitchen....
uh..... Why's the light on..? I must have left it on.... somehow....
.... Christ... it's freezin'....
Bed.....
As I got up... I wondered why I decided it was better to go to sleep in the kitchen.....
I remember........ Level twelve mision nineteen..... it was a hard boss.....but I did it. Had to hit one tiny crystal on it's head and... you could only hit it when he smashed into the generator..... but you have to not get hit when he does it... or you lose almost half your health....
Then..... I.... saved it..... and I remember. I suddenly got very annoyed and smashed the console. Shit.
...
I walked groggily up the stairs and into my room. Sure enough, my latest and most expensive gaming machine was now in pieces.
Shit.
I was getting angry again. I tried to remember why I had thought it was a good idea to sleep in the kitchen. I left my room and slammed open Dib's door...
He wasn't there.......
Oh fuck...
This is me.... I did this.... He's left..... It was me that..... He's gone.... forever.... he hates me.... I hate me.... fuck fuck fuck fuckf cufkc fuckf fnfk....
I fell onto my knees and my head rested against the wall just outside Dib's room. I started sobbing....
Me.... I started to cry.... I knew this would happen....... Fuck emotions...... They do this to everyone.... you don't know what you've got until it's gone..... it's fucking true.......
You're gone...... forever.....
And then I remembered why I was in the kitchen....
The knives, I said aloud......
...
......
.......
"What about them?"
I looked up. Tears blurred my vision. I thought I saw someone with raven hair and big glasses.
Dib? I asked.
"Gaz, what's wrong?" he asks. If only I could tell him.
And then, something I didn't expect happened.
He knelt down and hugged me. He did it very reluctantly. I could tell he was extremely nervous about it, it felt like he had never given anyone a hug before, but then again, I had never received one, so it worked out about right
....
Emotions.
Everyone can try to suppress them.
Teenagers try it all the time, but it's impossible.
I forgot what it was like.
As we sit here, I know I fell asleep, because I saw my mother again.
This time, she had a gun.
This time, she was shooting an infant Dib.
Why am I having this dream?
It's got to be the emotions.
Yeah, emotions.
Find something or someone else to blame.
If you're me, then it's worked 'til now......
-
Three twenty five AM.
comprehension.
I staggered back to my home.....
Staggered? More like painfully crawled my way back to my house, where I could heal properly.
I may heal much faster than humans, but it still fucking hurts.
But, despite Dib's hatred which I have now confirmed, I still forgive him.
After all, who could want to be friends with a disgusting green alien...
...
I really hurts.
Dib's boots had metal on them. Makes a good weapon.
Shit. I'm bleeding again. I must have stretched the skin where it's trying to heal over. My house is round this street......
....ugh...
..ow...
There..... at the end.....
Eventually after much cursing, bleeding and using one hand and legs to crawl my way to the end of the street, I make it to my door, and wish for the umpteenth time since Dib's outburst of rage, that my pak's legs still worked.
The door swings open... And I crawl in and climb onto the sofa.
I fight the urge to turn on the TV, and see Gir lying on his back, with a grin on his face and drool slowly flowing from the sides of his mouth.
I close my eyes and think about anything. Anything to take my mind away from the pain, until it heals enough for me to move porperly and go find some painkillers. Irken ones.
My thoughts quite instantly think about Dib. I usually do that anyway, but these are about what happened earlier.
And I remembered the ambulance coming for tht old human Dib hurt. Ha, everyone who has ever wanted to help me end's up getting hurt. That old male is the second. At least with the senior, it was me that was made to be the one to get hurt. I remebered Dee.
She was beautiful, By Irken standards. She wanted to be known for her skills, not by her appearance. Shame, it led her to believe my false promises............
....Oh shit.
That's it.
That's it exactly. How I betrayed her like that, told the authorites about what she was doing, what I told her to do. And scarred her oh so beautiful face.
She really is going to kill me.
....
Ouch.
I look down and the bleeding has stopped but it still stings quite smartly.
I go back to reminiscing.
No, she'll want to humiliate me first, then kill me. And she'll want every single Irken to know that she was not to blame. She'll want to prove it was me.
...
I'm fucked.
Not good.
She'll want to show that I was the one, then she'll tell how easy it was to capture me and then, in front of the Tallest, she will blast my brain out of my skull, with a high powered cell rifle of some variety. Yes, I've figured it out.
That's what she wants.
......
I just hope she hurries it the fuck up.
I've got nothing left anymore. And if she does kill me in front of the Tallest, I'll hopefully be able to spit on them and shout my last few words I Am Zim! in front of them.
Heh.
That would be fun.
-
Whatever time Dee is using. AM maybe.
Subtitle missing.
Yes sirs, I am presently heading toward the docking bay and am proceeding to board my Voot Speeder.
I listen to their silly little efforts to thank me, and all I think in my mind is
'You stupid tall morons. You don't know how to run an empire, you're just taller than everybody else. This is a fucked up democracy. Things should work by actually achieving them. Like me.'
But I say, Thank you my Tallest, I won't let you down.
"we know you won't" one of them says. I don't care which one, they're both idiots.
I bid them good day on my communicater on my wrist and switch it off.
I get gasps and whispers that I am not meant to hear as I walk past sliding doors and into the docking bay. These inferior Irkens.
It would be different if Zim hadn't....
They would all think that I would still be beautiful. Irkens reproduce through technology, but our views on beauty are just like other species.
Fuck you Zim.
I will make you pay. The whispers never stop. The Tallest are the only ones who are kind, in the sense that they see how skilled I am, but they're the ones I had to use in my own way. Poor stupid bastards.
Shut up. My thoughts scream.
I scream at some technicians. They weren't even talking about me, but they were closest. Everyone is now quiet. Staring at me.
Get back to work or everyone one of you little puny cretins will be sent to Blorch! I scream at them, and since they know I have the power to fulfil my threat, they get back to work.
Seeing them scared is good for me.
Now to depart. I jump into my thin maroon coloured vessel. To use this Speeder, you have to lie down on your front and put your arms forward, onto the controls. It's very uncomfortable, but the time it takes to get from here to Zim and his ape inhabited 'Earth' would be about three months as the Voot Cruiser flies. I need to get there in a day.
And my Speeder can and will do that.
I push an array of buttons and twist a few dials to start and power up the Speeder, and adjust the settings to how I prefer them, and the Speeder lifts off the metallic ground by a metre and hovers for a few seconds.
This is where these lower life forms see how my genius come into play.
Normally a speeder would travel faster than a Cruiser, but would only be used as a hasty escape. They were manufactured for places like here, where about ten or so individuals might need to get out very quickly, whatever the setting. I.... changed mine.
I installed various features, one of them being Molecule splitting accelerator.
They all said it would rip me and the Speeder to shreds.
Fuck what they know. I'm smarter than all of them.
All I had to do was send all of the energy to the engines and reroute all of the extra power that would normally instantly make the ship implode, through two large exhaust pipes. These MSA engines were built for very large ships, perhaps as big as the Massive, but I created my own smaller version, using the same fuel.
Granted, if anyone is standing behind my Speeder when the Engines begin their routine, then they will be vaporised.
I look back.... I can't see a lot, due to the lack of space, but I can see that there is a group staring at my modified machine...... behind me.
I push a red button on the far left corner, and I can hear nothing but an almighty roar of the machine's added MSA engine, then a flash of light...
UGH!
....And then I am being hurtled through the opening of the dock and through space. Passing planets and stars and galaxies at a time....
Fuck I wish I had a religion!
I'm going so fast, I don't even laugh about killing those techs in the bay.
Shit.
I knew I needed to be fast to reach Earth in a day, possibly two, but this is too hard!
It feels like my brain is going to burst, my eyes are fighting to stay open and my teeth are clenched, grinding into each other, fuck, my legs are trying to bend but can't because of the lack of space.
...
Aaaaaagh!
Ghhhhhh!
I MUST endure!
I have to get my revenge!
I must kill zim!!
-
Four thirty six AM.
What's wrong?
That was a shock.
I came home after pummeling Zim, and found Gaz crying by my door. I've never seen her cry before. She looks.... different when she cries, vulnerable, like her invisible shield of hatred is gone.
I wasn't really sure of what to do, but found myself giving her a hug.
I've never given anyone a hug before, at least, anyone I can remember. Maybe my mother, but she left when I was about five. My mother looked a lot more like Gaz, whereas I look a lot like Dad.
It's odd, but I guess I can't remember enough about our mother, there aren't any pictures, for some reason.
Dad said he lost them.
.......
sigh.
And sigh again.
....
Gaz is asleep. After sitting on the landing by my door for about half an hour in silence, she fell asleep, so I put her into her bed.
It was odd.
Her newest computer console had been destroyed, but I don't think that's why she was so upset. Even she didn't love games enough to cry over a broken machine.
She's got plenty anyway.
.....
I'm on my bed now.
Staring up at the ceiling.
The squares of where posters used to haunt do actually create a nice effect. If I had a friend, I'd tell them I did it on purpose. But that is not the case.
......
Sleep sounds good
I turn to my side and reach for the lamp.
I switch it off, and the darkness feels soothing. Like being blind means you don't have to deal with it. You can't see the problem, then there is no problem.
Unfortunately, this is not the case either.
At least in sleep I can get some rest.
.....
....
...
..
.
Sleep ensues.
-
Six AM.
Early morning nightmare.
Where am I? The universal question everybody asks in those old films.
What's going on? Ditto.
I can see something up ahead.
All around me is just black. I walk on an invisible path until I reach a corridor. The hallway is wallpapered with blue skies and white fluffy clouds, and the floor is a carpeted. I walk into it and feel.... nice. I feel younger and full of energy.
I look down....
......?.....
I'm very young. Infant aged. Instantly the hallway looks huge, like it stretches away forever.... oh... it does....
I look behind me and the blackness from which I came is gone and now it's just a wall, wallpapered the same as the others. I walk forward and I can hear jack-in-the-box music playing, over and over.
My now little legs don't take me very far or fast, and I racing towards the end of this eerie place. I keep on tripping and stumbling and getting back up, and something about all of this seems wrong, different, out of place, call it what you want, but it isn't how it should be.
I trip again and my pudgy little hands push my violet hair out of my face.
I look up with little sorrowful eyes. I'm trying to find mother.
She'll make it better.
She'll hush the world to be quiet for me.
She'll make it right.
But she's nowhere. I can't find her. Where is she?
I try to speak but I can only talk in garbled words, and rivulets of salty water run down my chubby little cheeks.
"mrma!" I try to shout out, but I can't say it right. She must have disappeared because I can't shout for her to come to me. She must hate me.
I fall over again and I can't get back up.
I hear someone running past me. I look over my shoulder and a child Dib runs down the way I came. He must have not noticed me. Otherwise he would have picked me.
He vanishes into darkness down the corridor.
The blackness has come back.
I cry out for Dib to come back, get away from the dark, but I get nothing but the advancement of the offending shadows.
It keeps getting closer and I can't move at all. My energy is depleted and I just feel helpless.
"waaagh!" I scream. And scream again. And the nothingness keeps on coming closer.
Inch by inch, I can see nothing in it. It engulfs the corridor as it moves, first blackening it, then just making it disappear. I cry out again.
And again.... and again..
........and again.......
It's almost at my feet, and I clench up, rolling into a foetal position, my eyelids shut tight, and mouth closed, I have no teeth.
I feel like..........
...I'm being picked up..
I open my eyes and the darkness is retreating rapidly, back down the corridor. I feel happy again, and am comforted by someone, embraced in their arms.
But it isn't my mother.
It isn't Dib's mother.
It's our father.
He isn't wearing his lab coat, so I can see his face, and he isn't wearing his goggles, so I can see his eyes.
He should wear his lab coat less often...
Dib is standing next to him, the small Dib, tugging on his shirt.
Our father kneels down and Dib takes a look at me.
He smiles.
He says something, but I can't hear him.
I'm falling asleep....
....Everyhting is going dark, but this is a good dark. It's the darkness just before you fall asleep.
I feel good again.
I don't even care about mother now.
She can go to Hell.
I am content.
.....
I then wake up.
I drowsily look at myself, to make sure, and I'm back to normal.
I lean onto my side and look at the clock.
It's...
-
Chapter End
AN: Well, what do you think? Review and tell me. If you didn't like it, tell me why, if you liked it, tell me what part you liked. C'mon, click the fucking button.